The Bull Sheet

August 27 2020

Thursday, August 27, 2020 — Edition: #6796

Bully For You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Ellen DeGeneres’ star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was vandalized following a QAnon rally. According to sources, Ellen’s star had the word “Pedo” written over it with a purple sharpie. The graffiti was seen by people walking by early Tuesday morning. Hours later, the city sent someone to remove the marks. DeGeneres has been having one of her worst years ever after ex-employees started speaking out about the toxic workplace at her talk show.
-TheBlast
★ Tim Allen is reuniting with his “Tool Time” co-star Richard Karn for a new home builder competition series on “History”, the network has announced. The 10-episode series, tentatively titled “Assembly Required,” will “spotlight the best and brightest builders from across the country, at their home workshops, as they compete to breathe new life into everyday household items in desperate need of fixing.” Allen and Karn will host and executive produce the series, which is set to premiere in 2021.
-TheWrap
★ The cast and creators of “The West Wing” are reuniting to perform together for the first time in nearly two decades in a special set at HBO Max. “A West Wing Special to Benefit When We All Vote” will debut this fall. The special is meant to raise awareness for “When We All Vote”, a non-partisan, nonprofit organization co-chaired by Michelle Obama, which was founded to increase participation in every election in America.
-Yahoo
★ Kevin Hart and Usain Bolt – ever get those guys mixed up? NBC News did, and Hart had a hilarious reaction. After Olympian Usain Bolt confirmed he tested positive for COVID-19, NBC News mistakenly used Hart’s photo in their article about Bolt’s announcement. On Insta, Hart, who also recently announced he tested positive in March, wrote: “No comment… I must have gotten really fast and tall overnight. I want to take advantage of this moment and race anybody in the world…I am also no longer doing comedy due to my Olympic training schedule” He also added: “P.S this is disrespectful on so many levels. All you can do is laugh. Maybe the COVID-19 shrunk his legs and torso.”
-ETCanada

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Yvonne Orji, Amber Riley, guest host Lil Rel Howery
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Tiffany Haddish, Jurnee Smollett, Orville Peck, Shania Twain (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Chris Christie, Gregory Porter
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): J.B. Smoove, Dana Bash, Kaitlan Collins, Kyung Lah, Thaddeus Dixon (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Kieran Culkin, Maren Morris
• “Conan” (TBS):  Andy Samberg (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Jonathan Karl, D.L. Hughley (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Garth Brooks (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Rob Lowe, Judd Apatow, Padma Lakshmi, Catherine Fisher (R)
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Dax Shepard, Nicole Avant (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Gloria Estefan, Denise Richards, Lauren Riihimaki
• “Big Brother” (CBS): Following a live vote, a houseguest is evicted.
• “Celebrity Game Face” (E!): Tracee Ellis Ross and Evan Ross, Meghan Trainor and Ryan Trainor, and Andy Roddick and Brooklyn Decker compete remotely in a night of fun and games.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• MTV Video Music Awards – MTV has announced the full list of performers for the pre-show. Among them: Chloe x Halle; Jack Harlow; Lewis Capaldi; Tate McRae; and Machine Gun Kelly featuring Travis Barker and blackbear. The 90-minute pre-show airs Aug. 30 at 6:30 p.m. ET/PT, leading into the VMAs broadcast.
• Justin Timberlake — says his 2006 hit ‘SexyBack’ was inspired by David Bowie. Quote: ”I was listening to ‘Rebel Rebel,’ which essentially is about a cross-dresser…I was picturing guys, girls, all iterations of that in a club, singing this to each other…And I was like, ‘What’s the most audacious thing you could possibly say?’ And that was the first line of the song.”
• Drake — showed off his huge Kobe Bryant shoe collection on what would have been the late basketball star’s 42nd birthday on Sun. In a video seemingly shot in his Toronto mansion, he exhibited his collection, including his Kobe 5 Preludes, worth around $1,600, as well as multiple versions of the Kobe 8s.
• Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac Shakur – The rivals are being united for the first-ever dedicated hip-hop auction at a major international auction house. Up for grabs at Southeby’s Sept. 15: The crown worn and signed by B.I.G. during a 1997 photo shoot three days before he was killed, 22 autographed love letters written by Shakur at ages 15-17, and over 120 other hip-hop-related lots.
• Dio — A graphic novel inspired by the cover of his debut solo LP “Holy Diver” is in the works for summer 2021. According to his widow/manager Wendy: “[It’s a] story about how you can’t judge a picture by the way it appears, which is what Ronnie wrote many times in his songs.”
• Elton John – Saturday, he releases a special deluxe gatefold double-LP edition of his self-titled debut album on what will mark its half-century anniversary. Disc one features the 2016 remaster of the original LP, and disc two will carry a selection of bonus tracks off the 2008 CD Deluxe Edition, plus previously unreleased demos of ‘Border Song’ and ‘Bad Side of the Moon’.
• Van Morrison — has called on fellow musicians and industry types to ”speak up” to get full-capacity gigs back up and running again. He insists it’s not ”economically viable to do socially distanced gigs”.
• Wynonna Judd – has put together a covers EP while quarantining at her Tennessee farm. Coming Oct. 30, the “Recollections EP” will include her version of John Prine’s ‘Angel From Montgomery’, plus covers of songs by Fats Domino, Nina Simone, the Grateful Dead and Slim Harpo’s ‘King Bee’. (***Hear it HERE: https://youtu.be/pyFHsmzgOq8 )
• Darius Rucker — Days after announcing his split from his wife of 20 years, he says that he is working on a new album that might be his most personal yet. He reports that he is “more than halfway done” and fans can expect it “next year”.

CORONAUPDATE:
➢ You may have heard earlier about the fact that Yale University has developed “SalivaDirect”, a cheap, saliva-based test for COVID-19, which could mean no more of those scary nose-swabs. Well, just when you thought you wouldn’t have to stick anything coronavirus-related up your nose ever again, researchers, including those from the Washington University School of Medicine, have developed a vaccine against COVID-19 – that is administered through the nose. The good news? It only requires one dose. Tests have proven the vaccine effective in preventing infection in mice. While there are several COVID-19 vaccine candidates currently under development, the nasal vaccine is notable for the fact that it targets the initial site of infection, and therefore causes more widespread immune response. (Just in case you weren’t already afraid of mice, now we’ve got some running around that are immune to the pandemic!)
➢ A new study from Brazil found that people with antisocial traits are less likely to follow coronavirus containment measures, such as wearing a mask and maintaining social distancing.  The study by researchers from State University of Londrina and São Francisco University involved 1,578 Brazilian adults who responded to questions about compliance to containment measures and virus testing. The study authors wrote that their findings indicate that “Exposing oneself and others to risk, even when it can be avoided, is a typical trait for people with antisocial tendencies and with low levels of empathy.” (The good news is that if they’re antisocial, they might not come too close anyway!)
-Yahoo, NYPost

DATE UPDATE:
☞ One in five single adults say they have broken up with a partner because they weren’t “green” enough. A survey of 2,000 Americans looked at the relationship between being environmentally-friendly and…well…relationships, and found that 56% think it’s turn-off when a potential partner isn’t eco-friendly. 69% said they find being environmentally-friendly an attractive trait in a partner. 85% of respondents in the survey conducted by OnePoll said it’s important for them and their partner to have similar values. (Have YOU ever been “recycled” because you don’t recycle?)
☞ What’s being called the “World’s first extreme age-gap dating site” is promising to match users with people 20 years younger or older than them. And photos are optional. “20 Dating” creator David Minns says people trying to connect with someone more than 20 years older or younger on Tinder or Bumble are going to end up with a lot of rejection, but on his site, “Everyone knows where they stand”, and you can’t even connect with someone who is separated from you by just 19 years. And there’s no swiping…the site’s algorithm allows all users with the appropriate age gap to instantly contact one another. (Assuming the older one isn’t napping…)
-NYPost

FUNNIEST TWEETS OF THE WEEK:
⇒ One of the hardest parts of teaching your kids to be independent is watching them tie their shoes for 8 minutes. — @simoncholland
⇒ All the grandparents out there watching grandkids while they attend virtual schooling: now’s your chance to teach them cursive. — @PetrickSara
⇒ why do we call them olives and not Greece’s pieces — @EmissaryKerry
⇒ pumpkins were invented in 1973 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys — @KimmyMonte
⇒ When someone older pauses while speaking I think, ah yes, you’re putting two spaces after each period — @karencheese
⇒ Any jeans can be mom jeans if there’s random legos in the pockets. — @mommajessiec
⇒ anyone who’s lactose intolerant, have you considered being tolerant? seriously grow up it’s 2020 — @brittany_broski
⇒ My kids could fart and my father-in-law would be like, “Great job! Here’s five bucks.” — @copymama

DID YOU KNOW?
The makers of “Lucky Charms” cereal are finally caving to pressure and making available what we’ve all wished for since we were kids – packages containing JUST the marshmallows from the famous cereal. For a limited time, you can purchase a 6 oz. pouch of the tasty marshmallows, which includes all eight of the popular shapes for about $4 in the US. (Ok, NOW they’re ‘magically delicious’!)
-TheBlast

BS CHRONOMETER 08.27.20

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952 [68] Paul Reubens/Pee-wee Herman, Peekskill NY, comedian/TV actor (“Pee-wee’s Playhouse” 1986-1990)/movie actor (“Blow”, “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure”)

1953 [67] Alex Lifeson (Zivojinovich), Fernie BC, rock guitarist (Rush-‘Tom Sawyer’, ‘Closer to the Heart’)

1961 [59] Tom Ford, Austin TX, fashion designer (head designer for the fashion brands YSL and Gucci/2008 Menswear Designer of the Year)

1969 [51] Chandra Wilson, Houston TX, TV actress (‘Dr Miranda Bailey’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005)

1969 [51] Cesar Millan, Culiacan Mexico, dog trainer/reality star (“Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan” 2004-12)

1970 [50] Tony Kanal, Kingsbury UK, rock bassist (No Doubt-‘Don’t Speak’, ‘It’s My Life’)

1972 [48] Mike Smith, New Glasgow NS, TV actor/comedian (‘Bubbles’ on “Trailer Park Boys” 2001-18, “Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series” 2019)/movie actor (“Trailer Park Boys: The Movie”)

1976 [44] Sarah Chalke, Ottawa ON, TV actress (“Scrubs” 2001-10, “Roseanne” 1993-97, 2018)

1979 [41] Aaron Paul (Sturtevant), Emmett ID, TV actor (“BoJack Horseman” since 2014, “Breaking Bad” 2008-13)/movie actor (“Need for Speed”) COMING UP…”Duel”

1981 [39] Patrick J. Adams, Toronto ON, TV actor (‘Mike Ross’ on “Suits” 2011-19)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Banana Lovers Day”, an annual celebration of the fruit with appeal. (***Some ’nana facts here:***) …NET: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/banana-lovers-day

• “Rock Paper Scissors Day”, it’s the only game that, regardless of language, gender or age, everyone has a chance of coming out victorious in the end. (Have you ever noticed that it is just as hard to try to LOSE at Rock Paper Scissors as it is to win?)

• “Just Because Day”, a chance to do something spontaneously without rhyme nor reason. Most often in life, we do things because we have to, we want to, or they’re expected of us. None of those reasons apply on this day…just because.

• “Petroleum Day” (aka Oil & Gas Industry Appreciation Day), honoring the world’s first commercially successful oil well, drilled near Titusville, Pennsylvania 161 years ago today in 1859. (When many of today’s problems began…)

• “Kiss Me Day”, also known as “First Kiss Day”, commemorating Popeye’s first kiss with Olive Oyl. Some sources claim today marks the date of Popeye and Olive Oyl’s first on-screen kiss, when Olive Oyl said “My hero” after kissing Popeye.

• “Tarzan Day”, on this day in 1912, Tarzan made his magazine debut. Tarzan was the creation of Edgar Rice Burroughs, and two years later, Mr. Burroughs published the first of a series of novels based on the character.

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Bow Tie Day
[Fri] Red Wine Day
[Sat] Chop Suey Day
[Sat] Lemon Juice Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2001 [19] Angelina Jolie is named a United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees Goodwill Ambassador at UNHCR headquarters in Geneva

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1990 [30] 35-year-old blues-rocker Stevie Ray Vaughan dies in a helicopter crash near East Troy, Wisconsin, following a concert in which he appeared with Robert Cray, Buddy Guy, Eric Clapton, and his older brother, Jimmie Vaughan

1991 [29] Pearl Jam release their debut album “Ten”, which launches them to stardom and puts them in the forefront of the Seattle grunge movement

1992 [28] John Lennon’s original handwritten lyrics for The Beatles’ ‘A Day in the Life’ fetch $87,000 at auction

THIS DAY IN SPORTS . . .
2017 [03] Former five-weight world boxing champion Floyd Mayweather Jr. defeats MMA fighter Conor McGregor in his debut match in the 10th round in Las Vegas.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .

1955 [65] “Guinness Book of World Records” is first published. Over 100 million copies have been sold. (It’s the world’s best-selling copyrighted book, which means it’s a ‘Guinness World Record’ holder!)

2012 [08] The first interplanetary human voice recording is broadcast from the Mars Rover Curiosity

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1994 [26] 1,592,744 balloons are released by Disney Home Video in England

1998 [22] Canadian dollar drops to its lowest point ever … 63.31¢ US (today, about 76¢)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The most common national flag color is red.
✓ You can charge an iPhone with oranges. It takes 595 of them.
✓ A Blue Moon comes once every 2.7 years.
✓ Earth spins at 1600 km/h (roughly 1000 mph).
✓ There is a prison in Uraguay called “Freedom”.
✓ Frogs don’t drink. Anything. (They absorb water through their skin.)
-LearnSomethingEveryDay

Best of BS . . .
BS FAKE 80s FACTS:

• If the school photographer couldn’t fit all of your hair into your picture, your yearbook was free.
• “The Safety Dance” saved millions of lives.
• Video had an alibi and in fact, DIDN’T kill the radio star.
• The “Just say no” campaign was very effective.
• If you jumped out of a plane with parachute pants, you did not need a parachute.
• Wearing blue eye shadow was illegal.
• Even Santa Claus sported a mullet.
• Mobile phones were available at reasonable cost.
• There were no movies produced for the teen demographic.
• Girls just wanted to have fun.
-Twitter

August is “Inventors Month”, a good excuse to review …
BS ALL-TIME MOST USELESS INVENTIONS:
• The Waterproof Tea Bag
• World’s Largest Microchip
• The Compact Limousine
• The Glow-in-the-Dark Sundial
• Imitation Cubic Zirconia
• The Impact-Triggered Parachute
• All-Terrain Roller Blades
• Armpit-Scented Deodorant
-First published in BS in 2015

TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ Zoo officials had to step in when a Tigress mother at a safari park in India started ignoring and neglecting one of her three weaker kittens. (The Tiger-mom’s name is Sheela, but everyone has started calling her Kris Jenner!)
➠ The world’s first television commercial, transmitted on July 1, 1941, cost $4 and was only 10 seconds long. (8 seconds of which was devoted to medical side-effect disclaimers.)
➠ A report claims that smoking pot before sex can double the chances of orgasm and make climaxes stronger. (Which is GREAT, if you don’t mind that orange Cheetos Cheese Puff residue all over your body…)
➠ Fact of the Day: Having sex can unblock a plugged-up nose. (Explains why people at Comic-Con are always holding nasal spray…)
➠ Pee Wee ‘Paul Reubens’ Herman is 68 today. (He’ll get a lot of “Happy birthdays” . . . but not too many handshakes!)

BS WEB GOODIE:
Dog walk fails:  https://tinyurl.com/y582pqmo

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the worst thing you could ask someone?

BS RANDOM JOKE:

My friends tell me that cooking is easy, but it’s not easier than not cooking.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Question:  According to some relationship experts, the happiest couples are the ones who rarely do THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Post pictures of themselves together on social media

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If the wind will not serve, take to the oars.

 

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