The Bull Sheet

August 25 2021

Wednesday, August 25, 2021 — Edition: #7053

You Really Know Your Sheet!


BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Apparently, “Jeopardy!” honchos REALLY want Mayim Bialik to step in as new daily host following the quick exit of Mike Richards, and they’re willing to bend over backwards to show her how much they mean it. Bialik is the top choice to take over as “Jeopardy!” host, but the problem is she’s also busy with her new FOX sitcom, “Call Me Kat,” and shooting schedules for that show are set in stone. Sources say Sony bosses have even offered up the possibility of shooting on weekends and hiatus weeks to squeeze in more shows with her as host. Bialik is already locked in for 15 episodes, which she has been taping this week. Earlier this month, she was named as the host of Jeopardy! prime time specials.
-TMZ, CNN
★ After months of speculation, rumors and even a leak, the first trailer for “Spider-Man: No Way Home” is finally here. The Marvel Cinematic Universe (and Sony) have exploded the multiverse for the third Tom Holland Spidey flick. And yes, that’s Alfred Molina in the final scene bringing back heavily armed villain ‘Doctor Octopus’ for the first time since 2004’s “Spider-Man 2”. The trailer sees ‘Peter Parker’ grappling with the fallout of 2019’s “Spider-Man: Far From Home”, in which the world discovered his secret Spidey identity. He turns to ‘Doctor Strange’ for a spell that’ll wipe everyone’s memories. Of course, it doesn’t go to plan, and a multiverse of madness is unleashed. By the way, although there’s no space in the new trailer for any other Spider-Men other than Holland, but Andrew Garfield and predecessor Tobey Maguire are apparently also be involved in the multiverse-spanning adventure. No Way Home hits theaters Dec. 17. LINK: https://youtu.be/rt-2cxAiPJk
-CNET
★ Could a reboot of “The Office” be on the way? According to NBCU content chief Susan Rovner, it’s a possibility. She recently attended the Edinburgh International TV Festival, where she initially said “no comment” when asked about plans for a potential reboot of the hit NBC sitcom. When pressed, she said: “Whenever (exec producer) Greg Daniels wants to do one, we’re standing by.” In January, Daniels said that a reboot of The Office was not currently in development but is “not impossible.” He elaborated by saying: “I would want to be involved, and I’ve got two other shows I’m working on right now.”
-PopCulture
★ The Toronto International Film Festival will require audiences, staff and guests entering any TIFF venues to be vaccinated for COVID-19, or to show proof of testing negative for the virus within 48 hours prior, the festival’s organizers have announced. TIFF is returning to an in-person event this year after staging a slimmed-down festival that was a hybrid of in-person and virtual screenings last year. The Toronto festival runs from September 8-19.
-TheWrap

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Symone, Tai Verdes, guest host RuPaul
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Eugenio Derbez, CHVRCHES
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jason Sudeikis, Yola (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Michael Keaton, Teyonah Parris, Chris Stapleton, Jerome Flood II
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Bradley Whitford, Lorde
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Stacy London (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kim Fields, guest co-host David Begnaud (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Uzo Aduba, Wilmer Valderrama, Sabrina Soto, Anthony Ramos
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Emma Stone, Ziwe, Mimi Webb (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Seth Rogen, Bethenny Frankel (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Milo Ventimiglia, Amy Sedaris, Cat Deeley, Jonah Larson (R)
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC):  Quarterfinals Results 3
• “American Horror Story: Double Feature” (FX): Season 10 premiere
• “Neighborhood Wars” (A&E): Series premiere. A woman is incensed by her neighbor’s parking and takes revenge on her car; when a dog owner allows her pooch to poop on a neighbor’s lawn and doesn’t pick it up, the neighbor has a surprise in store.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
***UPDATE*** • Rolling Stones — Charlie Watts, one of the original members of the band, died on Tuesday at the age of 80. A statement from his publicist said: “He passed away peacefully in a London hospital…surrounded by his family.” The statement described him as “one of the greatest drummers of his generation” and a “cherished husband, father and grandfather.” Earlier this month, Watts was forced to bow out of the band’s upcoming U.S. stadium tour after undergoing an unspecified medical procedure. (***See “Charlie hit me”, below***)
• Taylor Swift — started off her week with a splash, posting her first TikTok. Along with a collection of video snippets, she wrote: “Lots going on at the moment. Red (my version) vinyl is up for presale on my site and oh I’m on tiktok now let the games begin. #SwiftTok.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/7r55ehzu
• Beyoncé — has made fashion history as the first Black woman to wear the iconic 128.54 carat Tiffany Diamond. The stunning piece of jewelry, previously worn by Audrey Hepburn and Lady Gaga, features one of the world’s largest yellow diamonds. Bey dons it as she and husband Jay-Z become the faces of Tiffany & Co’s new “About Love” campaign.
• Sex Pistols – Frontman John Lydon — better known as ‘Johnny Rotten’ — has lost his legal battle against bandmates Steve Jones, and Paul Cook. That means Jones and Cook can license the band’s music for Danny Boyle’s FX adaptation of Jones’s memoir, “Lonely Boy: Tales From A Sex Pistol”.
• Aerosmith – has inked a deal to move the group’s entire recorded music catalog to Universal Music Group ahead of their 50th anniversary. UMG will also be home to Aerosmith’s future music projects and merchandise, and will work with the band on new film, television and other audio-visual content.
• Duran Duran — have announced 2 small hometown shows in Birmingham. They’ll play the city’s 1,500-capacity O2 Institute September 14 and 15, performing songs from their new album, ”Future Past”, out October 22.
• Carrie Underwood — will return for a 9th season as Sunday Night Football’s opening theme singer. Her song ‘Waiting All Day for Sunday Night’ will be familiar, but the performance that goes with it will be brand-new. Cutting-edge LED technology will put her at a virtual tailgate party, and the opening video will also feature cameos from NFL stars and fan-submitted video.
• Tim McGraw — is giving fans an inside look at his role in the upcoming “Yellowstone” prequel series “1883”. In an Instagram post, he shared 2 photos, the first of a leather-bound book stamped with the name ‘J. Dutton’, and the second of a pair of jeans with black powder on the leg. The show premieres Dec. 19 on Paramount+.
• Loretta Lynn – Her ranch in Hurricane Mills, TN—a town which she now completely owns and where she has maintained a residence since the 1960s—was severely damaged by flooding caused by over 15 inches of rain that fell on Saturday. The sudden storm killed at least 22 people, including Wayne Spears, who worked for decades as the foreman of Lynn’s ranch.

SHOOTING THE BULL

CHARLIE HIT ME:
The sad news of the death of Rolling Stones’ drummer Charlie Watts at 80 on Tuesday brought to mind this anecdote, first recounted in Keith Richards’ autobiography “Life”: “In the mid-1980s, an intoxicated (Mick) Jagger phoned Watts’s hotel room in the middle of the night, asking, “Where’s my drummer?” Watts reportedly got up, shaved, dressed in a suit, put on a tie and freshly shined shoes, descended the stairs, and punched Jagger in the face, saying: “Don’t ever call me your drummer again. You’re my (bleeping) singer!”
-Life

PUMPKIN TO TALK ABOUT:
Fall is coming, and with it, cooler temperatures, but the pumpkin spice wars are heating up. Starbucks has stiff competition this year as Dunkin’ and Panera are also releasing pumpkin-flavored treats and drinks. Yesterday, Starbucks launched its classic PSL (Pumpkin Spice Latte) as well as the returning pumpkin cream cold brew, pumpkin cream cheese muffin and pumpkin scone. The PSL first debuted in 2003 and has set off a pumpkin frenzy ever since. Earlier this month, Dunkin’ announced its pumpkin cream cold brew and pumpkin spice signature latte drinks, and added pumpkin and apple cider donuts and “Munchkin” holes to their spicy mix. Panera is getting in on the game this year with its new seasonal cinnamon crunch latte, because, as they say, “cinnamon crunch trumps pumpkin.” Oh, and Dairy Queen is coming in hot with its own take on the pumpkin spice craze, re-introducing its pumpkin pie blizzard and pumpkin cookie butter shake on Aug. 30.
(Ah, yes. That time of the year when my wife desperately tries to prove her theory that she can live solely on things made of pumpkin…and whip cream!)
(Does anyone else seriously regret not investing in the pumpkin spice industry, like, 15 years ago?)
(If you buy one of these in the drive-thru, shouldn’t it be called an “autumnmobile”?)
-NYPost

ANIMAL TALES:
➢ Petting and cuddling with a dog can significantly enhance your well-being, according to research from the University of British Columbia. Study authors assigned student volunteers to one of 3 groups. One group could interact with a therapy dog, but with no touching. Another could interact and touch their therapy dog, and a third group met with a dog handler and no pup at all. Students assigned to the “interact but don’t touch” group showed some improvements across various measures of well-being, including happiness, integration into the campus community, stress, loneliness, and “self-perceptions of flourishing.” But the group actually permitted to touch and pet their therapy dogs experienced the most benefits. And it was the only group that displayed big improvements across all well-being factors. While several studies have found canine-assisted interventions improve participants’ wellbeing, there has been little research into what interactions provide the greatest benefits. (They did sore lower in the “eat dinner without having to share” category, though…)
➢ City life is making animals fatter, according to new research. As urbanization causes many animals to lose their natural habitats and end up running through local neighborhoods, a study has found that although scientists have long believed that this process ends up making animals smaller, it’s actually leading to larger and more hefty critters roaming through your trash. A team from the Florida Museum of Natural History examined the body length and weight of more than 140,000 animals from over 100 North American species which pop up in cities, including wolves, bobcats, deer, bats, shrews, and rodents, and found they are getting bigger and fatter than their rural relatives, thanks to the fact that there is more food in the area. (…at least until they start getting into the garbage cans of anyone doing Keto!)
-StudyFinds

NOT MY ASPHALT:
Polish construction firm Budimex and refiner Lotos have created a floral-scented asphalt. Why? According to the companies, it’s not to improve conditions for people living in large cities without ready access to nature. And it’s not for the sensory enjoyment of commuters who must spent hours fighting traffic every day to get to work. It’s to improve working conditions for road builders. The new bitumen contains a mixture of natural and synthetic essential oils, most of which neutralize the typical smell of asphalt, while the remaining ones add a more pleasing scent. A foreman was quoted by the companies as saying that at times, he can detect the scent of flowers, which made “working more pleasant”.
(So would a raise, but apparently the company isn’t working on THAT!)
(He also mentioned that if his co-worker Aleksy would pull up his pants, that would ALSO make working more pleasant…)
-Reuters

THE NINE MOST-HATED WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
(***CAUTION – preview for content***)
1. Moist:  It’s the clear winner in surveys conducted by Reader’s Digest and Oxford Dictionaries. (And among parents of diaper-age children!)
2. Flap:  It can be used to refer to a bird in flight, or extra skin, or…well, you get the idea. (Flap flak?)
3. Whatever:  Wikipedia defines it as “a slang term meaning ‘whatever you say, ‘I don’t care what you say, or ‘what will be will be.’ (Yet still strangely satisfying to SAY!)
4. Dude:  It’s a word that you either love or hate. Those who love the term have made it applicable to any and all situations. But “dude’s” extensive range of uses has made it annoying to non-users.  (Whatever…)
5. Like:  Used the way it usually is these days, it’s, like, a filler word with no real purpose.
6. Literally:  Another word that people love or hate. Some people use the word literally, like literally way too much. (And have you noticed that the way it’s used these days, it literally means “not literally”?)
7. Flaccid:  Oxford defines it as “soft and hanging loosely or limply, especially so as to look or feel unpleasant.” For example, “she took his flaccid hand in hers.” You get the picture.
8. Panties:  The word itself is innocuous, but for some reason, it makes some people uncomfortable. (On the other hand, if the right person says it in the right way…)
9. Pus:  It is used to define a thick yellow fluid produced by the body as a response to an infection. No wonder people find it gross. (Yup. Should have stopped at ‘panties’!)
(C’mon…we know there’s one that YOU hate even more. What is it?)
-Ladders

DID YOU KNOW?
Rattlesnakes shake louder to make listeners think they are closer than they actually are, and can trick the ear into believing they are right beside the snake, according to new research. Study lead Boris Chagnaud of Karl-Franzens-University-Graz in Austria, wrote: “The acoustic display of rattlesnakes, which has been interpreted for decades as a simple acoustic warning signal…is in fact a far more intricate interspecies communication signal. The sudden switch to high-frequency mode acts as a smart signal, fooling the listener about its actual distance to the sound source. The misinterpretation of distance by the listener thereby creates a distance safety margin.”
-StudyFinds

BS CHRONOMETER 08.25.21

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [72] Gene Simmons [Chaim Witz], Haifa Israel, classic rock bassist-singer (Kiss-‘Rock and Roll All Nite’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2014/reality TV personality (“Gene Simmons: Family Jewels” 2006-12)

1954 [67] Elvis Costello [Declan McManus], London England, rock singer (‘Alison’, ‘Pump It Up’, ‘Watching the Detectives’)

1958 [63] Tim Burton, Burbank CA, movie director-producer (“Alice in Wonderland”, “Charlie & The Chocolate Factory”) COMING UP…”Beetlejuice 2″

1961 [60] Billy Ray Cyrus, Flatwoods KY, country singer (‘Achy Breaky Heart’, Lil Nas X-‘Old Town Road [Remix]’) TV actor (“Doc” 2001-04, “Hannah Montana” 2006-2011)/father of Miley Cyrus

1962 [59] Vivian Campbell, Lisburn Northern Ireland, rock guitarist (Def Leppard-‘Two Steps Behind’, Whitesnake, Dio

1968 [53] Rachael Ray, Glens Falls NY, TV personality-celeb cook (“Rachael Ray”, “Rachael Ray’s Tasty Travels”)

1970 [51] Jo Dee Messina, Framingham MA, country singer (‘I’m Alright’, ‘My Give a Damn’s Busted’)

1976 [45] Alexander Skarsgård, Vallingby Sweden, TV actor (“Big Little Lies” 2017-19), “True Blood” 2008-14) COMING UP…”The Northman”, 2022

1981 [40] Rachel Bilson, LA CA, TV actress (“Hart of Dixie” 2011-15, “The OC” 2003-07)

1987 [34] Blake Lively, Tarzana CA, TV actress (“Gossip Girl” 2007-12)/movie actress (“The Town”)/model (“Vogue”)/married to Ryan Reynolds since 2012

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Banana Split Day”, saluting the ooey-gooey sundae concoction that’s served in a ‘boat’.

• “Kiss-and-Make-Up Day”, a day to make amends in relationships that have deteriorated. (Let’s see, there’s that ornery cab driver, that rip-off auto mechanic, the boss (and is it a coincidence that “Kiss and Make-Up Day” falls on Gene Simmons’ birthday?)

• “Secondhand Wardrobe Day”, celebrating the joys of shopping consignment shops, thrift stores, and anywhere else a clothing bargain can be had.

• “Whiskey Sour Day”, a salute to the mixed drink containing whiskey, lemon juice, and sugar. Whiskey sours are shaken, then served either straight up or over ice, traditionally garnished with half an orange slice and a maraschino cherry. Yes, please!

• “Willing-To-Lend-A-Hand Wednesday”, these actions don’t have to be anything grand—a small gesture can go a long way

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Make Your Own Luck Day
[Thurs] Dog Day
[Fri] Just Because Day
[Fri] Banana Lovers Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2014 [07] Seth Meyers hosts the 66th Emmy Awards; winners include “Modern Family” for Best Comedy and “Breaking Bad” for Best Drama

2018 [03] Actress Daryl Hannah and musician Neil Young are married in a secret ceremony in Atascadero, California.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2001 [20] Actress-model-singer Aaliyah (‘One in a Million’) dies in a plane crash at Marsh Harbour, The Bahamas at age 22

2006 [15] Aerosmith bassist Tom Hamilton misses his first gig in the band’s 24-year history after being diagnosed with throat cancer (after a 2nd bout in 2011, he recovers, following further treatment)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1958 [63] In Japan, Nissin Foods markets the first package of precooked instant noodles (“Chikin Ramen”)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1985 [36] NY Mets pitcher Dwight Gooden becomes the youngest 20-game winner in Major League Baseball history at the age of 20 years, 9 months, 9 days

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Tablecloths were originally meant to be used as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces after eating.
✓ The opposite of “cross-eyed” is “wall-eyed”.
✓ The average can of cat food has the nutritional equivalent of 5 mice.
✓ To lose one pound of fat, you need to walk at least 35 miles [56km] (briskly).
✓ Doctors in the 1700s prescribed ladybugs, taken internally, to cure measles.
✓ The names of Popeye’s four nephews are Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye!
-StrangeFacts, BathroomReadersInstitute

BS HONEST-TO-GOODNESS HEADLINES:
(Yup, they’re REAL)
• Shortage of Brains Slows Medical Research
• Collapsed Bridge in China Faulty
• Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One
• Shooting Reported at Firing Range
• Relief Groups Help Hurt Family
• Deer Season to Conclude With Youth Hunt
• Babies are What the Mother Eats
• Florida Reporter Completes Sentence
• Community, Friends, Family Remember Slaying Victim
• Police Say Middletown Man Hid Crack in his Buttocks
-BathroomReadersInstitute

TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ A survey suggests that 1 in 6 people don’t know their next-door neighbor’s name. (Yeah, true, but THEY DO know how to hack into their Wi-Fi…)
➠ A vintage unopened Super Mario Bros. video game just sold for $2 million. (The seller plans on taping the dollar bills together to form the shape of a girlfriend.)
➠ Gene Simmons is 72 today. (These days, he’ll still still Rock n’ Roll All Night, except his night starts at 3pm and ends around 7:30…)
➠ It’s Blake Lively’s birthday! (She is:  a) 32  b) 34 or c) On my phone’s screen when my wife is in the shower…)
➠ Fact of the Day: Betty White is older than Mickey Mouse. (Then again, Mickey’s real age is a bit ‘sketchy’…)

TRUTH OR BS:
• ‘Nemo’ is a puffer fish. [False. Nemo is a clownfish]
• John Lennon’s middle name was Edward. [False. It was Winston.]
• Batman’s butler is named ‘Albert’. [False. He is named ‘Alfred’.]
• The kids’ bathroom on The Brady Bunch didn’t have a toilet. [True]
• Broccoli was once banned from the White House. [True. In 1990, George H.W. Bush said broccoli would no longer be in the White House.]
• Cows sleep standing up. [True]
• There are 100 dimples on a golf ball. [False. There are between 300 and 500.]
• Before becoming queen, Queen Elizabeth was a mechanic. [True!]
-Ltkcdn

BS WEB GOODIE:
Just got a pedicure:  https://tinyurl.com/2xc34nut

BS RANDOM JOKE:
My relationship with my siblings is strange. I’d give them a kidney, but there’s no way they’re borrowing my charger.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is something you have in your purse or car that you think no one else does?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  In a survey where women were asked what item they wish their partner didn’t own, THIS came in at #1. What is it?
Answer:  Golf clubs

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.

 

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