The Bull Sheet

August 10 2022

Wednesday, August 10, 2022 – Edition: #7286

Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘n Fresh!


BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:

★ Pete Davidson is reportedly seeking trauma therapy due to online harassment he’s received from Kanye West. Davidson has been a frequent target for West ever since the “SNL” star began dating Kim Kardashian, who filed for divorce from the rapper in February 2021. People reports that a source close to Davidson said he “has been in trauma therapy in large part” due to West’s threatening posts. Despite this, he reportedly “has no regrets for dating Kim and wants it to be made very clear that she’s been nothing but supportive of him throughout their relationship.” The source said that “moving forward”, Davidson “just wants to focus on his career.” West frequently lashed out at Davidson during his relationship with Kardashian and did so again just recently following their split.
-ETCanada
★ If there was any doubt that big names would get behind Johnny Depp again following his legal win over Amber Heard, lay them to rest. Sources say that Dior has just inked a deal with the actor to the tune of 7 figures. Depp has signed back with Dior for a multi-year deal to be the face of their Sauvage men’s scent. He first signed with Dior in 2015 as the face of the cologne, but after Heard made her allegations, the Sauvage commercial stopped airing on TV.
-TMZ
★ Ashton Kutcher has spoken about his rare autoimmune disorder diagnosis that left him unable to see, hear or walk. During a sneak peek of his “Running Wild with Bear Grylls: The Challenge” appearance, Kutcher said that about 2 years ago, he had “this weird, super rare form of vasculitis” which affected his vision, his hearing and “all” his equilibrium. He continued, saying: “You don’t really appreciate it…Until you go, ‘I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to see again, I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to hear again, I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to walk again.’” Kutcher told Grylls that he’s “lucky to be alive” after battling the affliction, which can cause inflammation of the blood vessels, resulting in restricted blood flow. He said it took about a year to build each sense back up again.
-ETCanada, PageSix
★ Hugh Grant insists he is “not that posh”, despite the characters he has played onscreen. The 61-year-old has made a career out of playing middle class men such as ‘Edward Ferrars’ in “Sense and Sensibility” and Daniel Cleaver in “Bridget Jones’ Diary” but says while growing up, he was a “badly-behaved and pretentious” schoolboy who would smoke and do impersonations of the teachers. Following school, Grant won a scholarship to Oxford, but explained that he has often felt like the “black sheep” of his family, partly because his older brother is a financial broker who “makes a lot of money and I was ‘dumb Hugh’. Talented and cute and all, but lazy and a total idiot with money.”
-Bang

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jamie Foxx, Abbi Jacobson, Soccer Mommy, guest host David Alan Grier
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Madonna, Elvis Costello, Rusty
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Kieran Culkin, Run the Jewels, Joe Walsh
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): :Andy Cohen, Jeff Foxworthy, Brooke Colucci (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): RuPaul, Vanessa Bayer, Bishop Briggs (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kathy Hilton, Crystal Kung Minkoff
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Julie Andrews, Luke Hemsworth, guest co-host Lindsey Granger (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Phil Keoghan (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Michaela Jaé Rodriguez, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, guest co-host Lisa Rinna
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Robin Roberts, Dwyane Wade (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Laura Linney, Gabriel Iglesias, PJ Morton (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Mariska Hargitay, Tiki Barber, Jenny Mollen, Jason Biggs (R)
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (Fox): Season 17 finale. The final 2 competitors dance 5 performances each, before the audience decides the $100,000 winner.
• “The Challenge: USA” (CBS): In the wake of a shocking blindside, players scramble for power; a pair of underdogs must choose between creating chaos and playing it safe.
• “Mysteries of the Deep” (DSC): Season 2 premiere. Jeremy Wade explores a shipwreck that may contain stolen Nazi treasure: the priceless lost furnishings of the 18th century Amber Room; astonishing footage captures moment when freight ship MV Arvin split in 2 and sank in the Black Sea.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – Her “Renaissance” album not only debuted at #1, it has registered the second-strongest first-week numbers so far this year. It scored 332,000 equivalent album units, according to Billboard. Harry Styles’ “Harry’s House” bowed with 521,000 units in June.
• Nicki Minaj – will receive the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award at the MTV Video Music Awards on Aug. 28. The 17x nominated and 5x VMA winner will also perform at the award show. Minaj took to Twitter to express her excitement about the announcement, and used a LOT of emojis in doing so. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/mw36vvnm
• Ozzy Osbourne – reunited with Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi in their hometown of Birmingham, England Monday at the city’s Commonwealth Games closing ceremony. They performed their classic ‘Paranoid’, after teasing the intro to ‘Iron Man’ with Osbourne bellowing “I am Iron Man” backstage.
• Foreigner — bassist Jeff Pilson says that the band has recently recorded new music “and it’s good”.  In an interview, he said that vocalist Kelly Hansen “did a lead vocal on a new song during our last break. So yeah, there will be something coming out.” Foreigner are currently touring North America.
• Limp Bizkit — Fred Durst has reportedly tied the knot for the 4th time. TMZ reports the frontman recently married a woman named Arles in LA. Last month, the 51-year-old announced that Limp Bizkit’s upcoming tour of Europe had to be postponed due to his “health concerns”.
• Teenage Head – Gord Lewis, guitarist for the legendary Canadian punk band, was reportedly found dead in a Hamilton ON apartment on Sunday. His son, 41-year-old Jonathan Lewis, a resident of the apartment suite, has been charged with 2nd degree murder.
• Luke Bryan – During his show in Gilford NH, he noticed 23-year-old Dylan Cooper in the audience, who is a dead ringer for Luke Combs. Cooper was holding up his phone with a message written on it. Bryan told the crowd that it wasn’t planned, but “Damn he looks like… It’s damn Luke Combs coming up here right now.” The pair performed impromptu covers of Combs’ ‘When It Rains It Pours’ and Bryan’s ‘Do I’. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/58uveyzt
• Carrie Underwood – Over the weekend, she and some friends were visiting a restaurant and music venue near Nashville, when she hopped onstage to join cover band The Heartshakers for a rendition of Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty‘s ‘Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around’. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ya6dcvv9
• Shania Twain – will be inducted into the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame. The Class of 2022, which also includes Steve Wariner, Hillary Lindsey, Gary Nicholson, and David Malloy, will be honored at the Hall of Fame Gala on Oct. 30. Twain will be included in the contemporary songwriter/artist category. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/mrzxtuyy

SHOOTING THE BULL

HAPPY RETURNS:
Have you ever noticed that when pro athletes play against their former team, they often seem to have a “chip on their shoulder” and play better? Well, according to a new study, playing a “revenge game” may actually be a thing. Russian researchers found that athletes’ emotions have a much greater effect on their performance when taking on ex-teammates. For the study, data was analyzed from the NBA, NHL, and 6 European football leagues. It was determined that athletes performed exceptionally better at their former home stadiums against their old teams compared to newer venues. Researchers also found both NBA and NHL players took more shots against their ex-clubs. This also included those who saw little to no playing time with their former teams, with study authors saying these athletes may have felt they had something to prove. The researchers believe their findings could apply to other situations, such a new employee’s performance in competition against their former employer.
(So, it turns out this doesn’t just happen to [LOCAL SPORTS TEAM])
(…although they don’t recommend that anyone “take shots” on their old boss!)
(But I thought these guys were paid millions to “give 110%” ALL THE TIME?)
-StudyFinds

TOOTHBRUSH TRUTH:
When it comes to replacing your old toothbrush, you want to be hygienic without being wasteful, so how often should you do it? According to a group of dentists, here are some answers: Manual toothbrushes should be replaced every 3-4 months – and never stretch it past 6 months. Your toothbrush literally brushes bacteria off of your teeth, and germs can stick around even after you’ve rinsed it. Plus, worn out toothbrushes don’t remove plaque well. Electric toothbrushes? 1-2 months, as the vibrating brush heads don’t last as long as standard toothbrushes. And if you’ve been sick with cold, flu, or another virus infection, it’s important to toss your toothbrush and get a new one right away to avoid reinfection.
(Every 3-4 months? Then maybe they should start giving me 2 at the end of my 6-month checkup?)
(My dentist gives me a new toothbrush every time I’m there, which is nice because I save them for when a lady stays the night. So far, I have about a dozen saved up!)
-RealSimple

“UNCONSCIONABLE” WORK:
How would you like a job where you’re not only allowed to sleep on the job – you’re expected to? New York-based mattress brand Casper is on the hunt for “Casper Sleepers”.  Those hired will sleep “in our stores, and in unexpected settings out in the world,” according to Casper’s job posting. Now, it’s not all fun and ZZZZs – there is some work required when employees are awake. Casper Sleepers will create social media content, sharing their experience as a professional sleeper. They’re taking applications until tomorrow, and say that the ideal candidate should have an “exceptional sleeping ability,” a “desire to sleep as much as possible,” and of course, the “ability to sleep through anything.” In addition to being paid to sleep, successful candidates be able to wear pajamas to work, enjoy free Casper products, and the flexibility of a part-time schedule. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4n7552hm
(If you got this job, what do you suppose you’d look forward to on the weekend? Getting up early?)
(It’s the kind of job I’ve been drooling for all my life – literally!)
(Part time? If [**AFTERNOON GUY***] got this job, he’d actually end up sleeping LESS than he does now!)
-CNN

ODD USES FOR WD-40:
Sure, it lubricates, but if you believe what’s been written online, it can do many other things, such as remove makeup from carpet, unstick Legos, kill weeds, and keep squirrels from climbing into bird feeders. Here are some other uses for WD-40…but we don’t recommend trying them unless you have a way to do it safely and without damaging stuff…
☞ Cleans & protect cowboy boots, prevents mud from sticking to footwear.
☞ Removes marker from dry erase boards.
☞ Removes tough glue from fingers.
☞ Keeps wicker chairs from squeaking.
☞ Cleans chrome fixtures, piano keys, copper pots & pans…and seashells.
☞ Unkinks gold chains.
☞ Prevents mildew on outdoor fountains.
☞ Removes soap scum from tubs & showers.
☞ Loosens burrs and thistles from dogs and horses.
☞ And, if you dare, it eases arthritis pain. Just spray it onto the joint that hurts.
(It also causes people to say “What’s that horrible smell?”)
-BathroomReadersInstitute

DID YOU KNOW?
Brace yourself. Fall is coming – and with it, Oreo’s “Pumpkin Spice Sandwich Cookies” are hitting store shelves on August 15, marking their return following a 5-year hiatus. The limited-edition flavor features two golden Oreo cookies with a “festive pumpkin spice flavored cream” sandwiched in the middle. Pumpkin-flavored items have become synonymous with fall. Bud Light Seltzer and Samuel Adams beer have pumpkin-flavored beverages, Cup Noodles sells pumpkin-flavored ramen and Tim Hortons, Starbucks and Dunkin’ all infuse the flavor into drinks every year. (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth…anyone got some pumpkin spice mouthwash?)
-CNN

BS CHRONOMETER 08.10.22

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Spoil Your Dog Day”, like you have a choice. Just look at those big sad eyes … and those dangly-wangly ears … aren’t you just the cootest little thing … er, sorry. (What is the most extraordinary way you’ve heard of someone spoiling theirs?)
• “Lazy Day”, a day to take it easy. Just another day ‘round here. (And that’s all I could be bothered to come up with for that…)
• “S’mores Day” celebrating one of our favorite campfire treats, a toasted marshmallow sandwiched between graham crackers with piece of chocolate. The original recipe, published in Scout leader Loretta Scott Crew’s “Tramping & Trailing with the Girl Scouts” (1927), referred to the delicacy as “Some Mores”.
• “Smithsonian Day”, celebrating the series of Washington DC museums that form the Smithsonian Institution, basically “America’s Attic”. It was created on this date in 1846.
• “Duran Duran Appreciation Day”, a celebration of the 1980s teen heartthrob band who pushed the limits of acceptable music video content. (**BS FAST FACT: Duran Duran was named after a character in the movie “Barbarella”, ‘Dr. Durand Durand’.)
• “World Lion Day”, to celebrate lions globally. It is estimated that there are as few as 20,000 lions left in the wild. As a result, they’re now officially classified as ‘vulnerable’.
• “Vlogging Day”, a celebration of online creators and their work, encouraging people to share their stories via video. (Because there aren’t enough already?)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Presidential Joke Day
[Thurs] Play in the Sand Day
[Fri] Middle Child Day
[Fri] Vinyl Record Day
This Month is…Home Business Month
This Month is…Family Fun Month

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [75] Ian Anderson, Dunfermline Scotland, rock singer/flautist/guitarist (Jethro Tull-‘Aqualung’, ‘Bungle in the Jungle’)/Member of the Order of the British Empire, 2008

1959 [63] Rosanna Arquette, New York City, movie actress (“Pulp Fiction”, “The Whole Nine Yards”)/sister of David Arquette & Patricia Arquette

1960 [62] Antonio Banderas, Malaga Spain, movie actor (“The Legend of Zorro”, “Shrek” movies)/COMING UP…untitled 5th ‘Indiana Jones’ film, 2023

1971 [51] Justin Theroux, Washington DC, TV actor (“The Leftovers” 2014-17)/movie actor (“American Psycho”, “Lady and the Tramp”)/screenwriter (“Zoolander 2″, “Iron Man 2″)/married to Jennifer Aniston 2015-2017(separation date)

1979 [43] ‘Mama’ June Shannon, McIntyre GA, TV reality star (“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” 2012-2014, “Mama June: From Not to Hot”, 2017-21)

1987 [35] Charley Koontz, Concord CA, TV actor (‘Daniel Krumitz’ on “CSI: Cyber” 2015-2016, ‘Fat Neil’ on “Community” 2011-15)

1997 [25] Kylie Jenner, Los Angeles CA, fashion model/reality TV star (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians” 2007-21, “The Kardashians” since 2022)/owner of Kylie Cosmetics/current estimated net worth of $700 million/named “youngest self-made billionaire of all time” by Forbes in 2019

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008 [14] Isaac Hayes, singer (‘Theme From Shaft’) and actor (‘Chef’ on “South Park”) dies in Memphis TN of a stroke at age 65

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1985 [37] Michael Jackson buys ATV Music (including publishing rights to every Beatles song) for $47 million

2008 [14] Katy Perry’s song ‘I Kissed a Girl’ hits #1 in over 20 countries

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2003 [19] Temperatures in the UK top 100°F (38°C) for the first time in recorded history, during a European-wide heat wave

2003 [20] Russian cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko becomes the first to marry in space, wedding Ekaterina Dmitrieva (who is in Texas) while he’s 240 miles over New Zealand aboard the International Space Station

2017 [05] A 100-year-old fruit cake by Huntley & Palmers is deemed “almost eatable” after being discovered in a hut used by Captain Scott’s expedition in Antarctica

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2014 [08] Rory McIlroy wins his 4th major championship, the PGA, making him one of 4 golfers in history to reach that benchmark by age 25

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The human body contains enough fat to make 7 bars of soap.
✓ Sharks existed before trees (They’ve been around for about 400 million years).
✓ Every time you shuffle a deck of cards, you get a combination that’s probably never existed before.
✓ In his lifetime, the average man removes 28 feet of hair through shaving.
✓ A newborn expels its own body weight in waste every 60 hours.
✓ Actor Bill Murray uses a 1-800 number instead of an agent or manager.
-WhattheFFacts, BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .
BS FAILED SPORTS FILMS:
• Angels in the Outhouse
• The Shape of Water Polo
• Cross Country for Old Men
• Malcolm BMX
• The Good, The Badminton, And the Ugly
• LeBron With The Wind
• The Detroit Lion Kings
• Purple Rain Delay
• What About Bobsled?
• Field of Wet Dreams
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

BS THINGS NEVER SAID IN RAP SONGS:
• “I like flat butts and I cannot lie.”
• “Let’s hook up in my tractor.”
• “Driving down the street in my Honda Accord. Appreciating the women, handshaking the bros.”
• “It’s hard out there for an independent contractor.”
• “Abstinence rules!”
• “I eat a salad with no regret, top it off with balsamic vinaigrette.”
• “Yo, look at the clock, it’s late and I’m going to bed.”
• “I’m Slim Shady…thanks to my girl Jenny Craig.”
• “Please don’t back your buttocks in my general direction.”
• “These pretzels are makin’ me thirsty.”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

BS WOULD YOU RATHER?
(***You run down the list while your caller decides which choice is more palatable …***)
• Would you rather be able to change the past or see into the future?
• Would you rather have night vision or be able to breathe fire?
• Would you rather be able to turn water into a soft drink or bread into cake?
• Would you rather be a famous director or a famous actor?
• Would you rather live in a cave or live in a treehouse?
• Would you rather live without internet or live without A/C and heating?
• Would you rather be unable to use search engines or unable to use social media?
• Would you rather have a completely automated home or a self-driving car?
• Would you rather get a surprise wet-willy from a random stranger every day or a surprise wedgie from a random stranger every day?

BS WEB GOODIE:
Good morning!  https://tinyurl.com/4pzpvju2

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I hate it when I finally have the laundry caught up, and then I see my family walking around in clothes.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What old saying will kids today never understand? (“Kodak moment”? “You sound like a broken record”? “Look it up in the encyclopedia”?)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  27% of women say they feel younger when they have THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Blonde hair

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.

 

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