Monday, December 2, 2019 – Edition: #6585

Can You Believe This Sheet?

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Leonardo DiCaprio has rejected the accusation made by Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro that he was “giving money to set the Amazon on fire.” In a statement on Instagram Saturday, DiCaprio said: “At this time of crisis for the Amazon, I support the people of Brazil working to save their natural and cultural heritage. They are an amazing, moving and humbling example of the commitment and passion needed to save the environment.” Bolsonaro and his allies claim that the blazes are being deliberately set as part of an effort to by charities to rake in donations.
-PageSix
★ Jennifer Aniston reunited with her ex Justin Theroux for her annual ‘Friendsgiving’ gathering. The two parted ways in February 2018, after two-and-a-half years as husband and wife. But they remain in touch, and showed the strength of their ‘friend’ship as they celebrated  together on Wednesday. Aniston invited her best friends to the event, including Courteney Cox, Jason Bateman and wife Amanda Anka, Jimmy Kimmel and wife Molly McNearney and Will Arnett.
-Canoe
★ Johnny Depp has signed on to produce a musical about the life of Michael Jackson—and it’ll be told from the perspective of the late artist’s iconic sequined glove. The stage show is titled “For the Love of a Glove: An Unauthorized Musical Fable About the Life of Michael Jackson, as told by his Glove.” The music was written by playwright Julien Nitzberg, who says he came up with the idea after a disagreement over a Jackson biopic script.
(Good luck fitting that title on the marquee!)
-Complex
★ “E.T.” was one of the biggest movies of all time when it was released in 1982, but a proper sequel never materialized. But for those eager to see more adventures from Elliot and his extraterrestrial friend, you’re in luck. On U.S. Thanksgiving, communications company Xfinity released a video commercial reuniting the two friends. Elliot, this time played by an adult Henry Thomas, has a family of his own now, but the two friends still make time for one another. The video has all the hallmarks of the original “E.T.”, along with the tagline: “Reconnect for the Holidays.”
-TheBlast

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): James Corden, Mena Massoud, Brad Paisley, Ozuna
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): John Mulaney, Karlie Kloss, Solange
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Rep. Nancy Pelosi (R)
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Kevin Nealon, Dennis Miller, Norm Macdonald
• “Conan” (TBS): Adam Scott
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jane Lynch, Paul Wesley
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. Amy Klobuchar, guest co-host Yvette Nicole Brown
• “The Talk” (CBS): Ian Somerhalder, guest co-host Jenna Dewan
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Scarlett Johansson, Dana Avidan Cohn
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Rob Lowe, Kym Douglas, Zara Larsson
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Nick Offerman, Kellie Pickler, Big Bird, Abby Cadabby, Cookie Monster, Elmo, Oscar the Grouch
• “The Good Doctor” (ABC): Season 3 finale
• “Garth Brooks: The Road I’m On” (A&E): Part 1. An intimate look into Brooks’ life as a musician, father, and man as well as the moments that have defined his career and hit songs.
• “The Great Christmas Light Fight” (ABC): Season 7 premiere. Holiday displays in Brewerton, N.Y.; Portland, Ore.; Glendal, Ariz.; Hazlet, N.J.; Henderson, Nev.; West Frankfort, Ill., and Fillmore, Calif.
• “Making It” (NBC): Season 2 premiere. Ten new makers join Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman to show off their skills; first they make a physical representation of themselves as a food item, and for the master craft, they recreate a favorite craft from their youth.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ed Sheeran — still doesn’t have a cell phone. He ditched his electronic devices and social networking sites in 2015, but despite returning to Instagram 12 months later, he can still only be contacted via email. In 2017 he said that decision to lose the phone has helped lower his stress.
•  Rihanna – has shared hilarious video of her chance encounter with Paul McCartney while aboard an airplane. McCartney jokingly says, “Who is this filming me?” before Riri laughs and says “Who is this peasant filming this legend?” The two collaborated on the song ‘FourFiveSeconds’ with Kanye West in 2015 and have remained friendly.
• Sia — A mystery woman who covered the bill for several holiday shoppers on Thursday at a Palm Springs, CA Walmart turned out to be her. She reportedly told customers her name was “Ci Ci,” and she was there to ‘pay it forward’ after winning the lottery. Sia usually sports a black and white wig that obscures most of her face, which may be why she was able to fly under the radar — at least until a fan realized her true identity.
• James Blunt – wrote his new song ‘Monsters’ for his dad, who has kidney disease and is waiting for a transplant. Blunt says, “I stuck headphones on him, pressed play and walked out of the room…I was nervous about his reaction and I hoped he would take it in the right way and, afterwards, he put his hand on my knee. It was quite a moving moment between us.”
• Aerosmith – were joined on stage by Toni Braxton during their Fri. night show in Vegas. She took over the vocals for the chorus to ‘Livin’ on the Edge’ before Steven Tyler gave her a quick smooch. Braxton later wrote on Insta: “I feel like I was in college again! “He was my rock band crush!”
• Kid Rock – went on a sexually explicit tirade against Oprah Winfrey, Joy Behar and Kathie Lee Gifford on stage at his own Nashville bar last week. Video of the incident, in which he has been described as “clearly intoxicated,” ends with Rock being helped off the stage in an awkward manner by handlers.
• Midland — singer Mark Wystrach and his wife, Ty Haney, have welcomed their first child, a girl named Sundance (“Sunny”). She was born prior to Thanksgiving, and spent a week in the hospital following an undisclosed medical complication. The group has postponed their tour of the UK so Wystrach can be home with his family.
• Jason Aldean – He and his family are living rent-free in a house owned by his friend Kane Brown. Aldean and his wife, Brittany sold their estate outside of Nashville in Feb., and are currently building a massive “dream home” for their family. Brown invited them to live in his old house near Nashville for the time being.

RE: EMAIL:
A new study of internet habits in the UK says that we should really work on sending fewer pointless emails – because they are bad for the environment. The study, commissioned by OVO Energy, England’s leading energy supply company, found that sending email has such a high carbon footprint that cutting out a single email a day — such as ones that simply say “LOL” — could have the same effect as removing over 3,300 cars from the street. They say that more than 64 million “unnecessary emails” are sent every day in the UK, contributing to 23,475 tons of carbon a year to its footprint. OVO Energy is asking people to “think before you thank” to help contribute to a greener tomorrow. Here are the top 10 most “unnecessary” emails: “Thank you,” “Thanks,” “Have a good weekend,” “Received,” “Appreciated,” “Have a good evening,” “Did you get/see this,” “Cheers,” “You too,” and “LOL”.
(They couldn’t have thrown “Please see me” in there? I get that one a lot!)
(Maybe they’d like to pick on the spammers instead?!?!?!)
(And for God’s sake, don’t print them out!)
-NYPost

BY THE BOOK:
Penguin’s book gift-giving hotline returns tomorrow for the holiday season. Modeled on the famous “Butterball” hotline, which gives tips on cooking a turkey to perfection, the “Penguin Hotline” offers advice on which books to buy for the people on your holiday list. What you do is visit their website and fill out a form to give a bit of info about the person you’re buying for, and within a few days, a tailored recommendation will arrive via email, prepared by Penguin staffers. And no, the staff doesn’t only recommend books from Penguin Random House. This year some lucky readers will receive a “golden ticket” and have their request answered personally by a VIP author like Celeste Ng or Sophie Kinsella, among others.
(I can’t imagine what info someone shopping for me would enter. But I bet I’d end up with something ‘cheap’!)
(I did this for my dad last year. But I entered info about myself so I’d have something to read in the bathroom at his place!)
LINK: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/
-NYPost

THE COLD CODE:
How long should cold symptoms last?
• Sore throat, mild headache, mild body ache, low grade fever:  All usually runs their course within the first day or so.
• Fatigue:  May linger for a week to 10 days.
• Nasal congestion:  May continue for one to two weeks.
• Coughing:  May continue for one to two weeks.
(All longer if you’re a smoker…)

When should you see a doctor? If you experience…
• A temperature higher than 100.4° F.
• Symptoms that last more than 10 days.
• Symptoms that are severe or unusual. (Which, of course, is what all men experience…)
(When are they going to come up with a vaccine for the common cold?)
-BestHealth

BIGGEST BABY NAME TRENDS OF 2019:
(According to the U.S. Social Security Administration [SSA]:
⇒ The new royal names:  With a recent royal wedding, then a new royal baby, Archie and Meghan are among the fastest-rising names recently. And Harry saw a bump as well.
⇒ Royal-like names:  Even if they names don’t refer to specific people, royal-sounding names like Reign and Legacy are definitely in the air. (No recent spike for the name Throne. Or Andrew.)
⇒ Religious-feeling names:  Thanks to Kimye, Saint is one of the fastest-rising names lately. And similarly religious-inflected names like Genesis and Mercy have seen upticks as well.
⇒ “K” names:  Blame the Kardashians for this one as well. Keily, Kamilah and some version of Keilani/Kaylani/Kehlani are all rising fast for girls, while for boys, Kairo (also an exotic place name), Kylo (hello, Star Wars) and Karsyn have cropped up lately. (see next one…)
⇒ Y-is-the-best-vowel names:  For boys updating a familiar name with a “y” spelling is still en vogue, with names like Jaxtyn, Karsyn and Kamdyn climbing the charts.
⇒ (Something)-Lynn (with 2 ‘n’s):  While many of -lyn names (with one ‘n’) are on the decline (buh-bye, Braelyn), Oaklynn, Emmalynn, Gracelynn and Jazlynn are all on the rise.
⇒ Designer Names:  In our quest for status shoes and bags, designer names like Dior and Kenzo are newly popular. (And in my pay bracket, names like “Cheap Knockoff” are big…)
⇒ Tennessee names:  Boy names like Gatlin, Memphis and Shiloh — all cities in Tennessee or a variation — have inspired a new generation of parents. (So far, not many Chattanoogas, though…)
⇒ Rock ‘n’ roll names:  Celebrity singer names have been big this year. Think Billie — as in Billie Eilish — for girls, or names like Bowie or Santana, for boys. (Can I get a Lemmy? Anyone?)
⇒ “Game of Thrones” names:  The show lives on in future generations thanks to babies named Khaleesi, Yara, and Arya. (And next year, maybe ‘Winter’ is coming…)
⇒ ‘A brighter future’ names:  In a tumultuous year, names that speak to a brighter future gained in popularity. Hello, Dream and Promise are all showing up more and more. (Let’s hope so!)
-Mom

DID YOU KNOW?
Scientific tests show that you should not “burp” your baby. A study of 71 mothers and newborns found that babies are less likely to spit-up if you just leave them alone to digest in peace (instead of banging on their backs). And burped and non-burped babies cried about the same amount.
-Fatherly

BS CHRONOMETER 12.02.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1968 [51] Lucy Liu, Queens NY, TV actress (‘Joan Watson’ on “Elementary” 2012-19, “Dirty Sexy Money” 2008-09)/movie actress (“Kung Fu Panda”, “Kill Bill”)

1968 [51] Nate Mendel, Richmond WA, rock bassist (Foo Fighters-‘Learn to Fly’, ‘Best of You’)

1978 [41] Nelly Furtado, Victoria BC, pop singer (‘I’m Like a Bird’, ‘Promiscuous’)

1978 [41] Chris Wolstenholme, Rotherham UK, rock bassist-vocalist (Muse-‘Supermassive Black Hole’, ‘Uprising’)

1981 [38] Britney Spears, Kentwood LA, pop singer (‘Baby, One More Time’, ‘Oops!… I Did It Again’)

1983 [36] Jana Kramer, Rochester Hills MI, country singer (‘Why Ya Wanna’, I Got the Boy’)/actress (“One Tree Hill” 2009-12)/reality star (“Dancing With the Stars” 2016)

1983 [36] Aaron Rodgers, Chico CA, NFL quarterback (Green Bay Packers)/2011 Super Bowl

1983 [36] Daniela Ruah, Boston MA, TV actress (‘Kensi Blye’ on “NCIS: Los Angeles” since 2009)

1991 [28] Charlie Puth, Rumson NJ, pop singer (‘See You Again’ w/Wiz Khalifa, ‘We Don’t Talk Anymore’ w/Selena Gomez)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cyber Monday”, since 2005, the online version of “Black Friday”, when Internet retailers offer special deals and deep discounts in an attempt to jumpstart the holiday shopping season. The name grew out of the observation that millions of workers, fresh off a Thanksgiving weekend of window shopping, were returning to high-speed internet connections at work on Monday and buying what they liked (at the time, many people had slow internet at home).
BS REASONS “CYBER MONDAY” IS BETTER THAN “BLACK FRIDAY”:
5. No crowds … therefore fewer assaults and pepper-spraying.
4. Some online deals started in early November.
3. No sappy Christmas music.
2. Getting gifts in the mail is awesome … even if they’re for someone else.
1. Naked shopping.

• “Fritters Day”, honoring the yummy treat made by frying up small cakes of dough in butter or oil. (Yum! Really good for you, too!)

• “International Day For the Abolition of Slavery”, a UN observance begun in 1949.

• “Mutt Day”, saluting all dogs that are cross-breeds, no-breeds, or all-breeds. (And what do you get if you neuter your dog? Nixed mutts!)

• “Special Education Day”, initiated in 1975 to promote access to education for all children, including those with disabilities.

• “United Arab Emirates National Day”, celebrating the anniversary of independence of the federation of 7 Persian Gulf states from Britain (1971).

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Giving Tuesday
[Tues] Let’s Hug Day
[Wed] Cookie Day
[Wed] Sock Day
This Week Is…National Cookie Cutter Week
This Month Is…Safe Toys and Gifts Month

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [13] 25-year-old Beyoncé is signed to star in the film “Dreamgirls”, the musical based on Diana Ross & The Supremes

2012 [07] Blues legend Buddy Guy, actor Dustin Hoffman, TV host David Letterman, and the surviving members of Led Zeppelin receive Kennedy Center Honors for contributions to culture

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1983 [36] Michael Jackson’s 14-minute ‘Thriller’ video debuts on MTV

2009 [10] Beyoncé leads nominees for the 52nd Grammy Awards with 10 nominations

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2009 [10] Adam Barta of Girard, OH throws 191 bowling strikes in an hour, breaking the previous record by 15

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Elephants are the only animals that have four knees.
✓ Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body.
✓ Statistically, the safest form for of travel (miles travelled versus number of deaths) is the elevator.
✓ 40% of all industrial accidents happen on a Monday or a Friday.
✓ Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.
✓ Due to Plate Tectonics, Europe and North America are drifting apart at the same speed a human finger nail grows.
-Unnecessary Knowledge

BS ‘LEFTOVER’ TUNES:
• Re-heat it
• Cranberry Beret
• The Right Stuffing
• Saran Rapper’s Delight
• Gravy Train
• Love Me Tenderloin
• Money for Stuffing
• Tupperware Have All the Good Times Gone
• Poppa’s Got a Brand New Doggy Bag
• Jesus, Take the Cheese Wheel
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS ODD CYBER MONDAY BUYS:
• BOGO Thanksgiving leftovers
• A used scratch card
• A vowel
• A tent used to sleep in the Best Buy parking lot on Black Friday
• Those stupid Christmas lights for your beard
• Halloween decorations
• The book: “How To Stop Shopping On Corporate-Made Holidays”
• Romaine lettuce
• Anything that you actually need
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS PHONE STARTER:
What was the biggest or best thing you’ve ever won?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
For the 10th year in a row, my co-workers voted me “the most secretive guy” in the office. I can’t tell you how much this award means to me.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  The average person does THIS 98 times a year. What is it?
Answer:  Eats cereal.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.