100% Grade A Bull!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
“30 Rock” leads the pack in primetime TV categories for the 2010 “Screen Actor’s Guild Awards” with 3 top nominations; while on the movie side “Up In The Air”, “Inglorious Basterds”, and “Precious” each have 3 nominations (the hardware’s handed out January 23rd) . . . 40-year-old Jennifer Lopez thinks motherhood to 21-month-old twins Max & Emme has made her a better person (maybe, it has made her quit talking to the media for 2 years) . . . 30-year-old movie actress Kate Hudson (“Nine”) was reportedly dumped by 34-year-old NY Yankee star Alex Rodriguez after a 7-month relationship because she was ‘too much of an attention seeker’ (BS translation: She got more press coverage) . . . “Us Weekly” reports that 33-year-old movie star Reese Witherspoon ended her 2-year relationship with 28-year-old actor Jake Gyllenhaal because she was feeling pressured to get married (and she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life trying to spell ‘Mrs Gyllenhaal’) . . . A big-budget stage musical version of Will Ferrell’s 2003 Christmas movie “Elf” is being developed to hit Broadway next Christmas (CBS-TV airs the movie this Saturday night) . . . 34-year-old movie actor Tobey Maguire is baffled by reports he’s set to play the lead in the upcoming movie version of “The Hobbit”, saying he hasn’t even been approached (BS translation: I’ve got ‘Spider-Man’, why would I play a bug-eyed dwarf?) . . . And Tiger Woods has just been selected ‘Athlete Of the Decade’ by the Associated Press (based on 10 years of consistently satisfying 14 women).
WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Christmas in Washington” (TNT) – Sunday George Lopez hosts this pre-recorded White House concert featuring Mary J Blige, Neil Diamond, Rob Thomas, Sugarland, and Usher.
NET: http://www.tnt.tv/christmasinwashington09/
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Today Robin Thicke (“Something Else”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Mary J Blige (“Stronger With Each Tear”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Snoop Dogg (“Malice N Wonderland”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Ronnie Spector (“Frosty the Snowman”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight Alicia Keys (“The Element of Freedom”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – James Franco hosts; with musical guest Muse (“The Resistance”).
• “Satellite Awards” (Los Angeles) – Sunday the 14th annual awards from the International Press Academy. “Nine” leads nominations in the ‘Best Comedy or Musical’ category with 11; the highly acclaimed “Precious” is on the short-list for ‘Best Drama’.
NET: http://www.pressacademy.com/satawards/awards2009.shtml
• “Survivor: Samoa” (CBS/Global) – Sunday the winner is chosen during the 2-hour 19th season finalé; followed by the 1-hour cast reunion show.
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Foreigner (“No End in Sight: The Very Best of Foreigner”).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Black Eyed Peas – Taboo claims they ‘never rehearse’ and will likely come up with the entire set for their upcoming arena tour within a month.
• 50 Cent – He credits his near-death experience in 2000 with making him a good businessman because it made him fearless. (And used to back-stabbing.)
• Garth Brooks – He’s demanding the return of a $500,000 donation he made to his hometown hospital in Yukon OK for allegedly reneging on a deal to name a new wing after his late mother Colleen. He’s suing Integris Canadian Valley Regional Hospital for breach of contract.
• John Mayer – He says he’s decided to take a break from relationships, because he is ‘freaked out’ about dating. (And his thumbs are sore from tweeting all the dirty details.)
• Shakira – The 32-year-old claims she owes her sexy figure to … chocolate. While she sticks to a strict fitness regime, she says it’s also important to treat yourself to your favorite foods on occasion. (Hey, thanks for the excuse!)
• Spandau Ballet – The ’80s Brit-pop has-beens have reportedly signed to be the first music artists to perform in space, aboard Richard Branson’s commercial spacecraft ‘Enterprise’. The gig will reportedly take place in 2011 and last 5 minutes, just long enough for 1 tune. (Good thing … that’s all the hit they have.)
• Taylor Swift – She’s featured on the cover of “People” magazine’s year-end ‘25 Most Intriguing’ issue. Inside quote: “I’m the kind of person who thinks and over-thinks and analyzes and over-analyzes, every move that I make and every word that I say and everything that I do.“ (No wonder she makes so few mistakes!)
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Avatar” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): This $230-million 3-D epic, director James Cameron’s James Cameron’s first feature film since 1997’s “Titanic”, stars Sam Worthington as a paraplegic former marine who accepts a unique mission to the planet ‘Pandora’, where he confronts the indigenous Na’vi people. 40% live action; 60% CGI, using motion capture technology. Co-stars Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez. Shot in California, Hawaii, and Wellington, New Zealand.
NET: http://www.avatarmovie.com
• “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Hugh Grant & Sarah Jessica Parker play an estranged NYC couple who witness a murder and are thus relocated to small-town Wyoming as part of the Witness Protection Program. Co-stars Sam Elliott, Elisabeth Moss. Soundtrack includes Allman Bros Band, Bay City Rollers, Bob Dylan, Buddy Holly, Canned Heat, Diane Birch, George Harrison, George Strait, Los Lobos, and Stevie Wonder. The best scene? Sarah Jessica Parker gets kicked by a cow.
NET: http://didyouhearaboutthemorgans.com
• “Nine” ( PG-13 Limited Release Musical ): “Chicago” director Rob Marshall’s adaptation of the Tony-winning Broadway show features an all-star cast that includes Oscar-winners Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard, and Penélope Cruz. The story follows a famous film director as he struggles to juggle relationships with his wife, his mistress, his muse, his agent, and his mother. Co-stars Fergie, Judi Dench, Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman, Sophia Loren. Expands to wide release on Christmas Day.
NET: http://nine-movie.com
THE JOYS OF JAVA:
George Institute researchers in Australia have discovered that high consumption of coffee and tea is associated with a substantially reduced risk of type 2 diabetes, which is caused by the body’s ineffective use of insulin. Type 2 diabetes often results from excess body weight and physical inactivity. But the study shows people who consume on average 3-to-4 cups of coffee a day have a 25% lower risk of developing diabetes compared to non-coffee drinkers. (They also lose weight from shaking all the time.)
– “Digital Journal”
WORST HOLLYWOOD REMAKES SINCE 2000:
A new ranking of the worst do-overs of the decade …
5. “The Pink Panther” (2006) … remake of “The Pink Panther” (1963).
4. “Alfie” (2004) … remake of “Alfie” (1966).
3. “Poseidon” (2006) …. remake of “The Poseidon Adventure” (1972).
2. “The Stepford Wives” (2004) … remake of “The Stepford Wives” (1975).
1. “The Women” (2008) … remake of “The Women” (1939).
(Dishonorable mention: Guy Ritchie’s 2002 film “Swept Away”, a remake of the 1975 film).
– Movieline.com
ANOTHER REASON TO BE WARY IN WINTER:
Cities that have installed energy-efficient traffic lights are discovering a hazardous downside – the bulbs don’t burn hot enough to melt snow and can become crusted over in a storm. The problem is now blamed for dozens of accidents and at least 1 death. Many communities have switched to LED bulbs in traffic lights because they use 90% less energy than the old incandescent variety, last far longer, and therefore save money. But their great advantage is also their drawback … they don’t waste energy by producing heat. (A good excuse next time you run a red though!)
– MSNBC
DID YOU KNOW?
• Alternative medical treatments and the (rounded off) percentages of us who use them: non-vitamin & natural products (18%); deep breathing exercises (13%); meditation (9%); chiropractic (9%); therapeutic massage (8%); and yoga (6%).
– “TIME Magazine”
• The old saying about the eye of the beholder has been proven true. Studies show that we see physical challenges as more difficult when alone than with others. We see objects that cause fear as closer than they actually are . And we see things that we want as bigger.
– “Psychology Today”
• Despite its high alcohol content (around 40%) vodka is the least likely alcoholic drink to leave you with a hangover, according to a study by the British Medical Association.
– “Daily Mail”
BS CHRONOMETER 12.18.09
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [66] Keith Richards, Dartford UK, classic rock guitarist (Rolling Stones-“Start Me Up”, “Satisfaction”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)/one-time movie actor (“Pirates Of the Caribbean: At Worlds End”)
1946 [63] Steven Spielberg, Cincinnati OH, movie director/producer (“Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull”, 3 Academy Awards: “Saving Private Ryan”, “Schindler’s List”, 1986 Irving G Thalberg Award)
1955 [54] Ray Liotta, Newark NJ, movie actor (“Wild Hogs”, “Goodfellas”)
1963 [46] Brad Pitt, Shawnee OK, movie actor (“Inglorious Basterds”, “Ocean’s 11”)/Angelina Jolie’s partner since 2005/wed to Jennifer Aniston 2000-05/’Make It Right’ New Orleans rebuilding project founder
1968 [41] Rachel Griffiths, Melbourne, Australia, TV actress (‘Sarah Whedon‘ on “Brothers & Sisters” since 2006, “Six Feet Under” 2001-05)
1978 [31] Daniel Cleary, Carbonear NL, NHL winger (Detroit Red Wings)
1978 [31] Katie Holmes, Toledo OH, movie actress (“Batman Begins”, “First Daughter”)/Broadway actress (“All My Sons”)/former TV actress (“Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)/Mrs Tom Cruise since 2006
1980 [29] Christina Aguilera, Staten Island NY, pop singer (“Beautiful”, “Genie In a Bottle”)/5 Grammy Awards/30 million albums sold worldwide
SATURDAY –
Movie actress Jennifer Beals (“Flashdance”) is 46; Magician Criss Angel (“Mindfreak”) is 42; TV actress Alyssa Milano (“My Name is Earl”) is 37; Movie actor Jake Gyllenhaal (“Brokeback Mountain”) is 29; NHL center Matt Stajan (Toronto Maple Leafs) is 26.
SUNDAY –
Rock drummer Peter Criss (KISS) is 64; Rock singer Chris Robinson (Black Crowes) is 43; Pop singer David Cook (“American Idol”) is 27.
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bake Cookies Day”. What’s the best kind of homemade cookie: Chocolate Chip, Oatmeal-Raisin, or Peanut Butter?
• “International Migrants Day”, a day of solidarity for migrant workers, on the anniversary of the UN’s 1990 adoption of the International Convention on the Protection of the Rights of All Migrants Workers & Members of Their Families. About 17,000 migrant farm workers come to Canada each year to pick fruits & vegetables.
• “Islamic New Year” (“Al-Hijra”), which Muslims observe on the 1st day of Muharram, the first month in the Islamic calendar. It continues for 29 days until January 15th.
• “Let’s See What We Find In the Fridge Day”, a day to be brave and eat something from the back of the refrigerator. Ask listeners for their grossest discoveries.
• “Oatmeal Muffin Day”. “Here [co-host], put this muffin in your mouth!”
• “Roast Suckling Pig Day”. Here [co-host], put this apple in your mouth!”
• “Wear a Plunger On Your Head Day” for some unknown reason. Something to do with your potty mouth maybe?
SATURDAY –
• “Email Santa Claus Just in Case He Didn’t Get Your Letter Day”.
• “National Clean Out Your Closet to Make Room for New Toys Day”.
SUNDAY –
• “Games Day”. The best-selling board game of all-time? ‘Monopoly’, with over 200 million games sold in 80 countries and in 26 languages since 1935. In fact, an estimated 500 million people around-the-world have played ‘Monopoly’ since its inception.
• “International Human Solidarity Day”, established by the United Nations in 2005 as an initiative in the fight against poverty. It’s a reminder that the world has a collective responsibility to alleviate the plight of the poorest people.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/3c3ztc
• “I’ve Got My Big Fat Pants On Day”, a day to wear anything you want as long as it’s comfortable and roomy. Wouldn’t this be better celebrated AFTER the holidays?
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2002 [07] “Lord Of the Rings: The Two Towers” opens in theaters (grosses over $925 million worldwide, ranking #8 all-time)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1892 [117] 1st performance of Tchaikovsky’s seasonal favorite, “The Nutcracker Suite”, in St Petersburg, Russia
1999 [10] Christina Aguilera releases her hit single “What A Girl Wants” on her 19th birthday
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1993 [16] ‘World’s Largest Hotel’ opens, the 5,000-room MGM Grand in Las Vegas (The Venetian/Palazzo in Las Vegas now claims to be largest with 7,095 rooms, ahead of the First World Hotel in Genting Highlands, Malaysia with 6,118 rooms)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Crossword Puzzle Day
[Mon] Humbug Day
[Mon] Haiku Poetry Day
[Mon] Winter Solstice
[Wed] “Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakuel” opens in movie theaters
[Thurs] Christmas Eve
This Week Is … Tell Someone They’re Doing a Good Job Week
This Month Is … Closed Caption TV Month
BULL’S BITS
TONIGHT ON HGTV [or DIY TV]:
• “Let’s Buy Our First House”
• “Let’s Paint a Wall”
• “Let’s Decorate a Wall With Cheap Crap”
• “Let’s Knock Out a Wall With Big Hammers”
• “Let’s Put in a New Wall with Exciting Features”
• “Let’s Purchase Colorful Gewgaws to Make Our House More Presentable”
• “Let’s Sell Our House”
• “Let’s Buy Another House”
• “Let’s Rip Out the Kitchen and Put in a New One”
• “Let’s Fill a Room With Obscenely Expensive Crap”
• “Let’s Buy a House in Another Country”
– Thanks to Kim Justice.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after 3 hos.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: There are approximately 3 million of THESE in the ocean.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Shipwrecks. (AskMen.com)
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There’s a pinch of the madman in every great man.
SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“BS” will be on hiatus for the holidays from December 25th-January 1st inclusive. All paid-up subscribers will receive account credits in lieu of service days.