Monday, December 18, 2006        Edition: #3432
100% Grade A Bull!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• 29-year-old Australian Carmel Sloane is alleging that 50-year-old movie director/actor Mel Gibson (“Apocalypto”) is her birth father. Sloane claims her mother was hitchhiking Down Under in 1976 and was picked up by Gibson who ended up ‘romancing’ her in the back of his car. THIS WEEK legal papers will be served demanding Gibson either admit paternity or face a DNA test. Sloane claims she’s not in it for the money; she just wants to meet the man she’s always known was her father. Yeah, right.
– “News of the World”
• NFL QB Tom Brady (New England Patriots) & TV actress Bridget Moynahan (“Six Degrees”) have split up after dating for 3 years. Her rep says the parting was amicable.
– “E! News”
• Word has it the Dixie Chicks have secretly decided to split up after the “Grammy Awards” (FEBRUARY 8th). The 3 Chicks, who have 7 kids among them, apparently want to spend more time with their families, plus Emily Robison and Martie Maguire are said to be tired of Natalie Maines’ outspoken political rants because they take the focus off their music.
– “National Enquirer”
• Britney Spears has reportedly bought a new home, a Mediterranean villa near Mulholland Drive in Beverly Hills CA, listed at a whopping $7.2 million.
– “Star Magazine”
• NYC plastic surgeon Dr Brad Jacobs is offering Britney Spears a free tummy-tuck after seeing her recent spate of pants-less photos. Maybe he could also implant some class?
– PopBitch.com
• Meantime, 25-year-old Paris Hilton claims she’s ready to wed 21-year-old Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos, and Britney Spears is going to be the maid-of-honor. If this announcement proves true too form, we’ll soon find out Hilton’s just yanking our collective chain … again.
– “Daily Star”
• Both Jennifer Lopez and Jim Carrey are denying recent reports that they’ve converted to Scientology with the aid of Tom Cruise. J-Lo’s rep claims no knowledge, while Carrey’s publicist says simply, “He is not taking classes”. Not exactly a blanket denial from either, is it?
– “NY Post”
• What’s it cost to hire a former “American Idol” contestant? It all depends on whether you want them to sing their hearts out or just show up and pretend they care; and it’s also contingent on their post-show popularity. Ruben Studdard, for instance, gets anywhere from $30,000-$75,000 for 3 songs; Taylor Hicks will sell his soul for $150,000; while Kelly Clarkson will set you back a cool $300,000. Meanwhile, a lowly castoff like 2003’s Kimberly Caldwell only commands $2,000.
– TMZ.com
• “Miss USA” contest owner Donald Trump has reportedly told the pageant’s hard-partying 2006 winner Tara Connor to pack her bags and move out of her Trump Plaza apartment in NYC. Word is pageant officials are looking into a ‘situation’ and plan to make an announcement TUESDAY. The rumor is the pageant’s crown is about to be turned over to runner-up, Tamiko Nash.
– “New York Post”
• British cops have warned 38-year-old Heather Mills-McCartney that they’ve received word of a ‘non-specific threat’ to her safety. She’s reportedly been told the details of the threat including names of those involved and given a panic alarm which gives her access to immediate police response. Authorities say they’re satisfied there’s no ‘imminent risk’ to Mills-McCartney. As long as Paul stays in his mansion next door, that is.
– “OK Magazine”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• All-American Rejects – Frontman Tyson Ritter is launching his own clothing line called Butter. But he wants it to become a success in its own right. Quote: “I want it to grow naturally. I don’t want it to be completely whored-out like Clandestine by Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy).
• Beyoncé – TODAY she guests on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Billy Idol – The classic rocker has released a new album called “Happy Holidays”, a selection
of seasonal classics such as “Frosty the Snowman” and “Jingle Bell Rock” sung in his pseudo-Elvis drawl.
• Carrie Underwood – She’s announced plans for a USO tour to the Persian Gulf THIS WINTER but no specific dates or locations have been revealed due to security reasons.
• Chris Brown – THIS MORNING he’s on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
• Fall Out Boy – Frontman Pete Wentz has been performing concerts in extreme pain for over 2 weeks since injuring his back doing a stunt for their new music video “This Ain’t a Scene It’s an Arms Race”.
• Jay-Z – TONIGHT he does “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• The Killers – TONIGHT they perform on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Tony Bennett – TONIGHT the legendary crooner is a guest on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).

WHAT’S YOUR POISON?
Many of us are convinced that different alcoholic drinks produce different effects, but experts say there is no scientific proof of that. Pharmacologist Dr Paul Clayton says a lot of the effect depends on what mood you were in when you started drinking and the social context. But fundamentally, he says, alcohol is alcohol, whatever kind it is and whichever way you drink it. Any difference is dependent on the rate at which it is consumed and the amount. There are also the psychological factors of cultural beliefs (tequila will get you slammed) and personal memories of particularly bad hangovers. (What’s the one drink you’ll never touch again? Sloe gin? Purple Jesus? Extra dry martinis?)
– PA News

TIES THAT DON’T BIND:
There are 9 ‘tie-breakers’ used by the NFL to decide who makes the playoffs when 2 teams are tied. The first 8 are …
1. Head-to-head (best won-lost-tied percentage in games between the clubs).
2. Best won-lost-tied percentage in games played within the Division.
3. Best won-lost-tied percentage in games played within the Conference.
4. Best won-lost-tied percentage in common games if applicable.
5. Best net points in Division games.
6. Best net points in all games.
7. Strength of schedule.
8. Best net touchdowns in all games.
So what’s the 9th and final tie-breaking procedure? Believe it or not … it’s a coin toss!
– FantasyMVP.net

I’M BIDDING ON A WHITE CHRISTMAS:
TODAY’s the deadline for bidding on an eBay charity auction for … a guaranteed white Christmas. British company Sno-zone, which operates 3 indoor ski slopes, is offering a package that includes a decorated Christmas three, a front door wreath, a Christmas light display, plus 10 tons of snow, all delivered by refrigerated trucks and assembled by experts on Christmas Eve. Proceeds from the auction go to a children’s charity. But alas, delivery is limited to England and Wales. The fine print warns there is no guarantee on how long the snow will last and there is no provision for it to be removed. (Sounds like our tenancy agreement.)
– AHN

CANADA’S TOP SKI RESORTS:
10. Sunshine Village – Banff, Alberta
9. Big White – Kelowna, British Columbia
8. Mont Sainte-Anne – Beaupre, Quebec
7. Marble Mountain – Corner Brook, Newfoundland
6. Lake Louise – Lake Louise, Alberta
5. Marmot Basin – Jasper, Alberta
4. Mont Tremblant – Mont Tremblant, Quebec
3. Kicking Horse Resort – Golden, British Columbia
2. Fernie Alpine Resort – Fernie, British Columbia
1. Whistler Blackcomb – Whistler, British Columbia
– AskMen.com

AMERICA’S MOST LITERATE CITIES:
The places where the most people read, based on an annual survey of newspaper circulation, number of bookstores, library resources, periodical publishing resources, educational attainment and Internet resources …
5. St Paul MN
3. [tie] Atlanta GA / Washington DC
2. Minneapolis MN
1. Seattle WA
Least literate city? El Paso, Texas.
– “USA Today”

FUN WITH FOOD:
• Inhaling certain aromas actually depresses your appetite, according to the Smell & Taste Treatment Research Foundation. A research study has found that just 3 sniffs of the scent of banana, peppermint or green apple suppresses hunger. (Do not attempt this with the aroma of chocolate!)
• People with asthma should not eat Christmas fruitcake. The dried and glazed fruit bits often contain sulfites, chemicals that can cause severe reactions among asthmatics, including nausea, itching and, in rare cases, death. (And if that doesn’t get ya, just lifting one can cause a hernia.)
• Japanese scientists have discovered the taste of bad wine and cheap whisky can be dramatically improved by treating them with small doses of … atomic radiation. (Adds whole new meaning to the phrase ‘getting a glow on’.)

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• The average person laughs 10 times a day.
• Beer foam will go down if you lick your finger and stick it in the beer.
• The average person spends about 2 years of their life on the phone.

THE BULL SHEET 12.18.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [63] Keith Richards, Dartford UK, rock guitarist (Rolling Stones–“Start Me Up”, “Satisfaction”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)  FACTOID: He’ll play the father of ‘Jack Sparrow’, ‘Captain Grant Sparrow’, in “ Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End”, opening MAY 25, 2007.

1946 [60] Steven Spielberg, Cincinnati OH, movie director/producer (“Munich”, 3 Academy Awards: “Saving Private Ryan”, “Schindler’s List”, 1986 Irving G Thalberg Award)

1954 [52] Ray Liotta, Newark NJ, movie actor (“Take the Lead”, GoodFellas”)

1963 [43] Brad Pitt, Shawnee OK, movie actor (“Babel”, “Ocean’s 11-13″)/Angelina Jolie’s partner/Mr Jennifer Aniston 2000-05

1970 [36] DMX (Earl Simmons), Mount Vernon NY, rapper (“Lord Give Me a Sign”)/movie actor (“Cradle 2 the Grave”)/ex-con

1970 [36] Cowboy Troy (Troy Coleman), Victoria TX, country singer (“I Play Chicken with the Train”)

1978 [28] Katie Holmes, Toledo OH, movie actress (“Batman Begins”, “Phone Booth”)/former TV actress (“Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)/Mrs Tom Cruise since NOVEMBER

1980 [26] Christina Aguilera, Staten Island NY, 5′-2″ pop singer (“Ain’t No Other Man”, “Beautiful”)/4 Grammy Awards  FACTOID: She’ll appear on “CSI: New York” sometime in 2007.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bake Cookies Day”. What’s the best kind of homemade cookie: Chocolate Chip, Oatmeal-Raisin, or Peanut Butter?

• “International Migrants Day”, a day of solidarity for migrant workers, on the anniversary of the UN’s 1990 adoption of the International Convention on the Protection of the Rights of all Migrants Workers & Members of Their Families. Close to 17,000 migrant farm workers come to Canada each year to pick fruits and vegetables.
NET: http://www.december18.net/web/general/start.php

• “Let’s See What We Find In the Fridge Day”, a day to be brave and eat something from the back of the refrigerator. Ask listeners for their grossest discoveries.

• “Oatmeal Muffin Day”. “Here [co-host], put this muffin in your mouth!”

• “Roast Suckling Pig Day”. Here [co-host], put this apple in your mouth!”

• “Wear a Plunger On Your Head Day” for some unknown reason. Something to do with your potty mouth maybe?.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1892 [114] 1st performance of Tchaikovsky’s seasonal favorite, “The Nutcracker Suite”, in St Petersburg, Russia

2002 [04] “Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers” opens in theaters (grosses over $920 million worldwide)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1999 [07] Christina Aguilera releases hit single “What A Girl Wants” on her 19th birthday

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1993 [13] ‘World’s Largest Hotel’ opens, the 5,000-room MGM Grand in Las Vegas (The Venetian in Vegas now claims to be largest, at least in terms of area)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[1 week today] Christmas Day
[Wed] “Night at the Museum” opens in movie theaters
[Thurs] Humbug Day
[Thurs] Look at the Bright Side Day
[Thurs] Flashlight Day
[Fri] Solstice Synchronized Global Orgasm for World Peace
[Fri] Winter begins (7:22 pm EST)
[Fri] Abilities Day
[Sun] Christmas Eve

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Halcyon Days / International Language Week / Tell Someone They’re Doing a Good Job Week

BULL’S BITS

THINGS TO SAY ‘YES’ TO IN 2007:
• Pay a pro to tackle a chore you hate.
• Take a 10-day vacation.
• Delete your entire inbox.
• Indulge in buying one luxury item.
• Master the art of mono-tasking.
• RSVP ‘no’ to an out-of-town wedding.
– “Cosmopolitan”

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you were a migrating bird, where would you fly for the winter?

BS XMAS QUIZ:
Q: What type of natural Christmas tree is the best seller?
A: The best selling Christmas trees are Scotch pine, Douglas fir, Noble fir, Fraser fir, Virginia pine, Balsam fir and white pine.

Q: Where did the tradition of killing a tree and dragging it indoors for the holidays originate?
A: The first printed reference to Christmas trees appeared in Germany in 1531.

Q: Which Canadian province is the biggest exporter of Christmas trees?
A: The Canadian province of Nova Scotia leads the world in exporting Christmas trees, as well as lobster and wild blueberries.

Q: In what country was the first Christmas card created?
A: The first Christmas card was created in England on December 9, 1842.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average woman will waste $15,000 on THIS during her lifetime.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Clothing she never wears.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Others look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails.