Wednesday, December 6, 2023 – Edition: #7612

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Britney Spears’ estranged father, Jamie, had his leg amputated last month, says a source in their hometown of Kentwood LA. Page Six reports a resident saying: “He had a knee replacement and got a terrible infection from it”, then underwent unsuccessful surgeries to save it as a “last resort”. The news comes 2 months after it was reported that the 71-year-old was “seriously ill” and had been in and out of hospitals, including a facility for infectious disease patients. His lawyer had no comment. After Britney described her father as “abusive” in court in 2021, a judge suspended Jamie as conservator, before terminating the guardianship altogether.
-PageSix
★ Jamie Foxx is cherishing every moment after his difficult health journey. He surprised the audience at the Critics Choice Association’s Celebration of Cinema & Television Honoring Black, Latino & AAPI Achievements, where he accepted the Vanguard Award. After walking on stage, he emotionally noted: “It’s crazy, I couldn’t do that 6 months ago. I couldn’t actually walk.” Foxx went on to say: “I’ve been through something…I cherish every single minute now — it’s different.” The Oscar winner also said: “I saw the tunnel — I didn’t see the light.” He did not directly address the nature of his illness.
-E!
★ “Barbie” will soon be available to stream on Max from your own Dreamhouse. Max announced that Greta Gerwig’s sparkly pink fantasy comedy will hit the streamer on Dec. 15. Earning over $1.4 billion at the global box office, Barbie is not only the highest grossing film of 2023 — but the highest grossing Warner Bros. movie in history. It follows Margot Robbie’s ‘Barbie’, who is joined by Ryan Gosling’s ‘Ken’, on her adventure outside of Barbieland. Will Ferrell, Simu Liu, Kate McKinnon, America Ferrera, Michael Cera and Issa Rae round out the cast.
-Variety
★ Kim Kardashian is set to star in an upcoming legal drama from Ryan Murphy, on Hulu. This continues the duo’s professional relationship. Recently, Kardashian starred in the 12th season of “American Horror Story” as a high-powered publicist for a movie star who’s on the rise. In the new show, she’ll play a divorce lawyer who’s the head of a successful all-female law firm in Los Angeles. Her current reality show “The Kardashians” also airs on Hulu. No word yet on a title for the new show.
-TheWrap
★ Jason Priestley has boarded upcoming CBC drama “Wild Cards”. The Canadian network said the “Beverley Hills” star will play lead character ‘Max’s’ father and master conman ‘George’ in the “procedural with a comic twist” launching January 10. Set in Vancouver, Wild Cards follows the unlikely duo of ‘Ellis’ (Giacomo Gianniotti), a gruff, sardonic cop and ‘Max’ (Vanessa Morgan), a spirited, clever con woman. It has also been picked up by The CW in the US.
-Deadline
★ The upcoming “Road House” remake starring Jake Gyllenhaal will not get a theatrical release. Amid producer Joel Silver’s firing over accusations of verbal abuse against 2 female executives, Amazon Studios has reportedly nixed plans to drop the movie in theaters and is said to be eyeing an early 2024 release as a streaming title under Amazon’s MGM label. The remake of the classic ’80s action pic follows Gyllenhaal’s character, a former UFC fighter who “takes a job as a bouncer at a rough-and-tumble roadhouse in the Florida Keys”. The film also features UFC star Conor McGregor.
-PopCulture

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC/Global):  Mahershala Ali, Greta Lee, Grupo Frontera
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): J Balvin, Matt Bomer
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Oliver, boygenius (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Maluma, Tony Shalhoub
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Dorit Kemsley, Guerdy Abraira
• “The Daily Show” (COM): Guest Host Charlamagne tha God
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Cynthia Nixon, Matt Rogers
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kelsey Grammer, Sarah Rafferty
• “Live With Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Shannen Doherty, Ariana Madix
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Sterling K. Brown, Kenan Thompson; Sean Paul and Manuel Turizo perform, Sabrina Bahsoon
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Erin and Ben Napier
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Darius Rucker
• “The Masked Singer” (Fox): “I Wanna Rock” night. Group B finalists rock out to legendary rockin’ songs, Bret Michaels performs.
• “Celebrity Jeopardy!” (ABC): Quarterfinal #9: Kyra Sedgwick, Mo Rocca and Amanda Seales
• “2024 Republican Presidential Primary Debate” (Check local listings): From Tuscaloosa AL, Elizabeth Vargas, Megyn Kelly and Eliana Johnson moderate.
• “Guy’s Ranch Cook-Off” (FOOD): Reality special. Chef Jonathan Waxman livens things up with Quail Liver Rigatoni, Chef Antonia Lofaso serves a go-to Goat Tartare and Chef Stephanie Izard jumps in with Rabbit Sausage and Carrot Hummus.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Dua Lipa – has reportedly called it quits with her boyfriend, filmmaker Romain Gavras after making their public debut on the red carpet in May. The Sun UK says she wants to focus on her music as she gears up to drop her third album, expected in early 2024.
• Drake – The Luna Luna amusement park, a wonderland of contemporary art which he and his media company purchased, will soon reopen in Los Angeles, 36 years after it was shuttered. The one-of-a-kind pleasure ground will be unveiled later this month as an immersive art exhibit in a 60,000-square-foot warehouse space.
• John Mellencamp – told an interviewer that although he hasn’t had a drink or taken drugs since he was 21, he still smokes a pack of cigarettes a day. It’s OK, though because he’s “a good smoker” (his words). His goal is to live to 80, and as he put it: “That gives me 10 years…I’ve got only 10 summers left … not that long.”
• Mötley Crüe – have been announced as headliners for next summer’s Calgary Stampede. The group will play the Scotiabank Saddledome on July 11. Tickets go on sale this Friday. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/pmcymtwz
• Red Hot Chili Peppers — have announced that their “Unlimited Love” tour will extend into next year across the US, following massive runs in 2022 and 2023. The 2024 run kicks off May 28 in Ridgefield WA, and ends July 30 at Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre. Special guests include Kid Cudi and Ice Cube.
• Carrie Underwood – spent her off-night from her Vegas residency by…going to a concert. She shared pics on her Instagram Stories of her taking in Lambert’s Velvet Rodeo show at Planet Hollywood. The 2 also spent a little time together. She captioned one of the photos: “Just a couple of country girls hanging out in Vegas.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2vyd2mcf
• Cole Swindell – will hit the road in 2024 for his headlining “Win The Night Tour”. It kicks off May 16 in London ON, and will conclude in Bonner, Montana, on July 20. Dylan Scott will open, while Jon Langston, Lily Rose, Mackenzie Carpenter, Meghan Patrick and Restless Road will open on select dates. Tickets go on sale Friday.
• Scotty McCreery – was surprised during his performance at the Opry Country Christmas show by Garth Brooks. Brooks walked onstage, handed McCreery a gift, and said: “Merry Christmas. This is a Christmas present to the Grand Ole Opry. We would love to invite you to be the newest member.”

SHOOTING THE BULL

NEW DEVELOPMENTS:
☞ In honor of “Cookie Day” on Monday, restaurant chain Subway offered cookie lovers in the US their first chance to try its new footlong chocolate chip cookie. The footlong dessert will be launching nationwide in January, but select Subway restaurants handed out the delicacy for free with the purchase of a footlong sub. In addition, 4 Subway restaurants in Chicago, Dallas, Miami and New York were transformed into “Cookieway” outlets for the day. (The problem with having a cookie that’s a foot long is that if anyone else sees it, they’ll honestly expect you to share!)
☞ With December being the most popular month for engagements, a cat-loving company is offering up a free engagement ring to a happy couples that comes up with the most inventive and heartwarming way to include their cat in a marriage proposal. Felix Cat Insurance says anyone planning to propose this month can privately share their engagement plans at FelixPurrfectProposal.com, including how their kitty will be involved in the memorable milestone moment. Grand prize is the ring, worth $4,750, and the furry friend gets a package of cat treats, a plush champagne toy, and festive feline accessories. (Are you feline creative?) LINK: https://www.felixpurrfectproposal.com/
-NYPost, GoodNewsNetwork

WHAT’S WORDS WORTH?
❑ Oxford University Press has done what Merriam-Webster almost did a week ago: named “rizz” its word of the year. The term is widely used by Generation Z to describe someone’s ability to attract or seduce another person. Oxford said rizz topped “Swiftie” (an enthusiastic fan of Taylor Swift), “situationship” (an informal romantic or sexual relationship) and “prompt” (an instruction given to an AI program) in the annual decision by experts at the publisher of the Oxford English Dictionary. Rizz comes from the middle of the word charisma, and can be used as a verb, as in to “rizz up,” or chat someone up. (It is especially handy because who knows how to spell “charisma”?)
❑ Conversations between Gen Z and millennials are dominated by slang, even when discussing serious topics such as mental health, and this worries experts. Take “menty b,” for instance: Social media users have come to use the phrase to describe varying levels of a “mental breakdown,” whether real or exaggerated. Others make reference to taking a “grippy sock vacation”. That’s refers to a stay in a psychiatric hospital, where patients are often given grippy socks. Also in recent years, “stressy depressy,” short for stressed and depressed, has crept into the vernacular, and so has the word “suey,” which means for suicidal. On one hand, using these terms can help destigmatize mental illness, making light of a usually dark circumstances. On the other, this language could be a way for some to distance themselves from the experience by using humor, or a coping mechanism used instead of seeking help, some experts say.
-AP, CNN, NYPost

DATE RATES:
How much should a good date cost? Somewhere around $200, according to the results of a new survey conducted in the US. The OnePoll survey looking at the cost of dating and relationships found that the average (presumably single) respondent has gone on 8 dates in the past 6 months, costing about $189 each. And that lines up pretty closely with what people estimated a good date should cost: $196. The average person has gone on $3,025.12 worth of dates within the past year. And it comes to picking up the tab, just about the same percentage of respondents said they are likely to pay for a date (33%) as those who have the date paid for them (31%). 27% said they split bills.
(…or say they’ll pay next time – honest!)
(Once I went on a first date, and she spent $200 on me right away. She bought me a gym membership!)
-SWNS

FUNNIEST TWEETS OF THE WEEK FROM PARENTS:
⇒ My 4-year-old said she’s scared to become a grown up because she “doesn’t know how to do the gas station.” She has no idea how real she’s being right now — Kristen Mulrooney
⇒ 6yo: was I born naked? Me: yeah. 6yo: sorry about that — Emily Adrian
⇒ I love that my son is the same annoying as me so we can annoy his dad together. It’s how we bond. – Marcy G
⇒ 13-year-old: I need cool clothes. Me: I think your clothes now are pretty cool. 13: That’s the problem – James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn
⇒ My kid hasn’t finished her homework but she did call a family meeting to show us the 20-slide presentation she created on why we should get a cat. – krista pacion
⇒ My kids no longer believe in Santa. Tell me, what am I supposed to threaten them with now? Who am I supposed to imaginary call in a crisis?? – That Mom Tho
⇒ There’s only one type of person that buys a child’s drum set, and that person is revenge gifting – Katie D
⇒ We just got a report that our kid has spent 34,721 minutes listening to one song, in case you were thinking of having kids. – mom mom mom mom mom
⇒ my son asked for a new hoodie for Christmas, so for convenience and to save time I’m having it shipped directly to his girlfriend’s house – Dad Moon Rising
⇒ Putting one kid to bed: Bedtime is at 7 PM, no later. Putting two kids to bed: You can stay up and read for 20 minutes. Putting three kids to bed: You can watch Cocaine Bear with me as long as you’re quiet. – Jessie
-HuffPost

DID YOU KNOW?
Over half of music fans believe that the guitar riff is on its deathbed, according to a new survey by UK TV channel Sky Arts. It polled “music aficionados” to rank the nation’s “favourite 6-string riff of all time” and uncover other guitar-focused insights for its documentary “Greatest Guitar Riffs”. 53% of participants said they thought that the riff was dying out. On the positive side, 83% said they prefer music with guitars in it. The top 5 riffs, in order, were determined to be: ‘Sweet Child o’ Mine’ – Guns N’ Roses; ‘Purple Rain’ – Prince; ‘Sultans of Swing’ – Dire Straits; ‘Smoke on the Water’ – Deep Purple and ‘Money for Nothing’ – Dire Straits. (Somewhere, Chuck Berry is turning over in his guitar-shaped grave!)
-Guitar

BS CHRONOMETER 12.06.23

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women” (in Canada), also known as “White Ribbon Day”, observed since 1991 to mark the anniversary of the 1989 École Polytechnique massacre, when a student murdered 14 women and injured 14 others in the name of “fighting feminism”. Today, Canadians are encouraged to observe a minute of silence and to wear a white ribbon as a commitment to end violence against women. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/mrx2kved
• “Gazpacho Day”, in celebration of the spicy but cold Spanish soup. To look like a real rube, order some in a restaurant, then blow on it to cool it down.
• “Special Kids Day”, started in 1990 as a seasonal event for children with special needs and their families to visit Santa Claus in environments designed to accommodate them.
• “Miners Day”, saluting the ‘men of the deeps’ who toil away daily underground. (You know what they say: “A lot of people worry about being buried alive, but really it’s a miner problem…”)
• “Put on Your Own Shoes Day”, This is it, boys and girls. Time to prove you’re a big kid now. (Tomorrow, we work on putting on MATCHING shoes…)
• “St Nicholas Day”, commemorating the 4th-century bishop who died December 6, 342 AD, and from whom the traditions of “Santa Claus” and exchanging gifts were derived. No wonder he’s the patron saint of both children and merchants! Many European kids awaken today to find candy and oranges in their shoes, or if they’ve been bad … a piece of coal.
• “Pawnbrokers Day”, celebrated on “St. Nicholas Day”, the saint who, among other things, is the patron saint of pawnbrokers. (Buuut…shouldn’t St. Nicholas Day be Dec. 25?)
• “Microwave Oven Day”. Percy Spencer discovered microwave cooking in 1945 when he came too close to a magnetron tube — and a chocolate bar in his pocket began to melt. (Fun Fact: The first commercially available microwave oven, in 1947, was called the ‘Radarange’)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day
[Thurs] Letter Writing Day
[Fri] Brownie Day
[Sat] Christmas Card Day
This Week Is…Influenza Vaccination Week
This Month Is…Farm to Food Bank Month

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [68] Steven Wright, Cambridge MA, comedian (known for his lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of one-liners)/movie actor (“Desperately Seeking Susan”, “The Emoji Movie” [voice])
Some of his classic lines:
• “It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.”
• “I’ve written several children’s books…not on purpose.”
• “7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.”
• “A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.”
• “I intend to live forever – so far, so good.”
• “I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he’s gone.”
• “A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently, it wasn’t first place.”
• “I had amnesia once…or twice.”

1956 [67] Peter Buck, Oakland CA, rock guitarist (R.E.M.-‘Losing My Religion’, ‘Everybody Hurts’)

1962 [61] Janine Turner (Gauntt), Lincoln NB TV actress (‘Maggie’ in “Northern Exposure” 1990-95)/movie actress (“Cliffhanger”)

1967 [56] Judd Apatow, Syosset NY, movie producer (“Bridesmaids”, “Pineapple Express”)/movie director (“Knocked Up”, “The 40-Year-Old Virgin”)/married to Leslie Mann

1972 [51] Sarah Rafferty, New Canaan CT, TV actress (“Suits” 2011-19, “Chicago Med” 2021-22)

1996 [27] Stefanie Scott, Chicago IL, movie actress (‘Quinn’ in “Insidious” films, “I.T.”)/pop singer (‘The Girl I Used to Know’, ‘Shoulda Woulda Coulda’)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [18] Director Ang Lee’s “Brokeback Mountain”, starring Heath Ledger & Jake Gyllenhaal, premieres in New York City (wins 3 Academy Awards)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1988 [35] Roy Orbison, while in the midst of a career resurgence, thanks to his part in supergroup Traveling Wilburys, dies from a heart attack at 52

2021 [02] Drake, a long-time critic of the Grammy Awards, turns down his 2 nominations, joining The Weeknd in boycotting the awards

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1877 [146] Thomas Edison enters the offices of Scientific American and turns the crank on his cylinder phonograph, astonishing those present with the recording, “Good morning. How do you do? How do you like the phonograph?”

2003 [20] Army becomes the first team in NCAA major college football history to finish its season 0-13, by losing to Navy 34-6

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2013 [10] The Fender Stratocaster played by Bob Dylan when he “went electric” at the 1965 Newport Folk Festival is sold at auction for a record $965,000 (It had been in the possession of a NJ family for 48 years after Dylan left it on a private plane)

2017 [06] Starbucks opens its largest cafe in the world, in Shanghai: 30,000 square-feet, half the size of a football field

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ More energy from the sun hits Earth every hour than the planet uses in a year.
✓ If they are unable to find food, some worms will eat themselves.
✓ Frowning burns more calories than smiling.
✓ Police are sometimes called “the fuzz” because London cops once wore fuzzy helmets.
✓ It takes 345 squirts from a cow’s udder to get a gallon (4.5 liters) of milk.
✓ The word “barbarian” originally referred to people who don’t speak Greek. The Greeks thought people who spoke a foreign tongue sounded like they were saying “bar bar bar” all the time.
-BathroomReadersInstitute, FactSlides

Best of BS . . .
BS TOP SIGNS YOU WON’T RECEIVE A CHRISTMAS BONUS:
• Co-workers refer to you as “the ghost of unemployment future”.
• The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial.
• On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips.
• What you call your new office, everybody else calls “the supply closet”.
• Boss’s Christmas card says, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out”.
• You keep getting memos reminding you that employees are required to wear pants.
• When your boss came over for Thanksgiving, he was crushed under avalanche of stolen office supplies.
• Whenever you ask for a raise, a guy shows up at your house and breaks your jaw.
• In your most recent performance evaluation, the word “inexcusable” appeared 78 times.
• You’re the starting quarterback for the New England Patriots.
• You work in radio.
-Neloo, first published in BS in 2017

BS INAPPROPRIATE FUNERAL THOUGHTS:
• “This is definitely the quietest I’ve ever seen him.”
• “Soooo…his wife is single now…”
• “That punk owed me 20…”
• “I cannot believe that priest is telling us that he went to heaven.”
• “I wore that outfit better.”
• “How much longer until we get to eat those little triangular sandwiches?”
• “I KNEW I shouldn’t have held his beer…”
• “Even in death, she’s on her back.”
• “It looks like I got away with it…”
• “Don’t check your phone…Don’t check your phone…Don’t check your phone…”
• “That looks nothing like her. She looks really pretty…”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

BS WEB GOODIE:
My week so far:  https://tinyurl.com/257j6xau

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Of course I can keep a secret. But the people I tell them to obviously can’t.

BS WOULD YOU RATHER?
(***You run down the list while your caller decides which choice is more palatable …***)
• Would you rather be trapped in a romantic comedy with your enemies, or trapped a horror movie with your friends?
• Would you rather be a chicken for one day, or a cow for one day?
• Would you rather have to shave your head, or to have your nose pierced?
• Would you rather date someone who won’t stop talking, or someone who won’t stop texting?
• Would you rather be in an elevator full of noisy high school students, or an elevator full of judgmental middle-aged men?
• Would you rather hit every red light for the rest of your life, or always get slow internet after the sun goes down?
• Would you rather have to wear a tuxedo shirt every day for a month, or have to wear a tutu every day for a month?
• Would you rather have no body hair, or no head hair?
• Would you rather be extremely allergic to your favorite food, or forced to eat your least favourite food once a week?
• Would you rather have a huge booger hanging out of your nose for the rest of your life, or a pimple on your forehead for the rest of your life?
-Brightful

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  About 70% of people say they will buy THIS during the holiday season. What is it?
Answer:  Scotch tape

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced – and don’t mind admitting?

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
An obstacle is often a stepping stone.