Friday, December 6, 2019 – Edition: #6589

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Chris Pratt’s water usage was called out by none other than Aquaman himself! Pratt was criticized on Instagram on Tuesday by Jason Momoa for posing with a plastic water bottle while announcing his collaboration with Amazon. Pratt posed in a gym setting wearing workout clothes and holding a plastic bottle, which Momoa — an avid ocean activist — noticed, writing: “Bro I love u but wtf on the water bottle…No single use plastic. Come on.” Pratt replied that he always carries a reusable jug with him, but, “Somebody threw that plastic bottle to me in the photo shoot ’cause I didn’t know what to do with my hands!”
-MSN
★ Alex Trebek, David Suzuki, Tina Keeper and Daniel Levy will receive special honours from the organization behind the Canadian Screen Awards next year. The Academy of Canadian Cinema & Television says it will salute the four along with several others during Canadian Screen Week in March. Trebek will receive the Academy Icon Award “for his exceptional ongoing contribution to the media industry.” The Emmy-winning “Jeopardy!” host, who’s been undergoing treatment for pancreatic cancer, was born in Sudbury, ON, and lives in Los Angeles.
-MSN
★ Anna Faris was extremely thankful to the North Lake Tahoe Fire Department on Thanksgiving, as she and her family were saved from carbon monoxide poisoning. She took to Twitter to thank emergency services for coming to their rescue, writing that she feels ”very fortunate”. The group of 13 assumed they were suffering from altitude sickness, and two members of the party were taken to hospital to be treated. Upon further inspection, it was found that the rented house had more than six times the maximum recommended carbon monoxide level.
-ContactMusic
★ Julia Louis-Dreyfus has been granted a restraining order against a woman who has allegedly been harassing and stalking her, including threatening to throw a “grenade” or “molotov cocktail” at her home. Louis-Dreyfuss claims the woman, who is homeless, “has engaged in a course of harassing/threatening conduct for many months.” and that she and her family have been victims of “stalking, cyberstalking, harassment and other annoying and alarming misconduct by an obsessed fanatic and complete stranger.”
-TheBlast

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Will Ferrell, Alan Cumming, Jessica Kirson (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Pharrell Williams, Chris Parnell, the Weeknd
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jessica Biel, Jesse Plemons, Brooks Wheelan (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Michelle Pfeiffer, Chiwetel Ejiofor, George Salazar, Mj Rodriguez (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Cyndi Lauper
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Laura Dern, Pentatonix, Monica Mangin
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Oscar Isaac, Sean Hayes, Camila Cabello
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Tracee Ellis Ross, Hayley Kiyoko, Dr. Sandra “Pimple Popper” Lee
• “Charmed” (CW):  Season 2 mid-season finale
• “Dynasty” (CW)”: Season 3 mid-season finale

SATURDAY-
• “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” (AMC): The Griswolds spend the holiday in a garish way, especially when a country cousin pulls up in an RV.
• “A Christmas Love Story” (HALLMARK): A youth choir director must write the title song for the Christmas Eve show but becomes distracted when a gifted boy joins her choir unbeknownst to his widowed father Greg.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Jennifer Lopez, with musical guest DaBaby.

SUNDAY-
• “AFV: America, This Is You!” ABC): A celebration of the 30-year anniversary of “America’s Funniest Home Videos”; a look at the history of the series and its influence on pop culture; memorable video clips.
• “2019 Miss Universe” (FOX): Women representing more than 90 countries compete in multiple categories; the reigning Miss Universe, Catriona Gray, crowns her successor; Steve Harvey hosts.
• “Madam Secretary” (CBS): Season 6 finale

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lady Gaga — is returning to the Super Bowl stage — sort of. She’ll perform at AT&T TV Super Saturday Night in Miami on Feb. 1, a day before Super Bowl 54. The concert will take place at Meridian at Island Gardens and will be livestreamed on Twitter. She headlined the Super Bowl halftime show in 2017.
• Mariah Carey — is releasing a mini documentary on the making of 1994’s ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’. In the film, to be released on Amazon Music this month, she admits she was determined to write an absolute ”classic”. It’s spent a total of 36 weeks at the top of Billboard’s Christmas chart.
• Mötley Crüe – their reunion tour has finally been officially announced…with an unexpected addition to the bill. They’ll hook with Def Leppard, Poison — and Joan Jett for “The Stadium Tour”, a 22-date trek starting July 7 in Miami. It is currently set to wrap up Sept. 5 in Los Angeles. Tickets go on sale Friday, Dec. 13 at LiveNation.com.
• Kid Rock — is channeling his anger over recent criticism to produce the greatest album he’s ever created. On Wed., he posted: “All this BS going on has just got my blood pumpin’ and is only more songwriting fuel for a new record and tour in 2021…You haters better be shaking in your boots.”
• The Who – will perform in Cincinnati for the first time since 11 fans were crushed to death there 40 years ago in a stampede outside an arena. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the P.E.M. Memorial Scholarship Fund, which honors three students who died in 1979.
• Jon Bon Jovi — The ice-skating rink at Rockefeller Center Plaza on Tuesday was only about half-full as he performed a new song. NBC staffers had tried to fill the area with fans to film a segment for Wednesday’s tree-lighting special. About 300 people eventually did show up.
• Blake Shelton – has a new duet with Gwen Stefani set for release on his upcoming album. ‘Nobody But You’ will be a part of “Fully Loaded: God’s Country” when it’s released Dec. 13. The album will include five new recordings and seven recent hits.
• Chris Stapleton – His exhibit at the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum in Nashville is set to open on June 26. It will trace his career from his early days as a songwriter for artists including Adele, Luke Bryan, Alison Krauss and George Strait, as well as his time fronting the SteelDrivers.
• Willie Nelson — After years of lung-related issues and breathing problems, the legendary country singer and marijuana proponent has been forced to stop smoking it. The 86-year-old said that he will not stop touring but he has to stop further potential damage.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Playmobil: The Movie” (Animation/Comedy):  When her younger brother disappears into the colorful and animated world of Playmobil, Marla is forced to abandon her organized and structured life to rescue him. (Jim Gaffigan, Daniel Radcliffe)
• “Dark Waters” (PG-13, Drama):  A corporate defense attorney takes on an environmental lawsuit against a chemical company that exposes a lengthy history of pollution. (Anne Hathaway, Mark Ruffalo)
• “Daniel Isn’t Real” (Horror/Mystery – Limited Release):  A troubled college freshman suffers a violent family trauma and resurrects his childhood imaginary friend Daniel to help him cope. (Miles Robbins, Patrick Schwarzenegger)
• “The Aeronauts” (PG-13, Action/Adventure-Limited Release):  Pilot Amelia Rennes and scientist James Glaisher find themselves in an epic fight for survival while attempting to make discoveries in a gas balloon. (Felicity Jones, Eddie Redmayne)

CAT TALES:
You would be correct in assuming that when your kitty “meows” at you, that your lovely furball wants something. Many pet experts agree that their chattiness is a form of communication. But Georgia Mason, a veterinary researcher who has just completed a study on humans’ ability to understand cats, says that cats try to communicate with us in a number of ways, even though we don’t always pick up on it. Her team had more than 6,000 participants watch 20 cat videos to decide whether the featured feline was experiencing a negative or positive emotion, simply by the look on their faces. Here is what they found:
• The average number of correct human responses to cat’s expressions was a disappointing 11.85 out of 20. That’s about what someone would score if they were simply guessing.
• Only 15% scored 15 or higher on the test. (Cat whisperers!)
• Women performed better than men.
• Younger participants scored higher than middle aged ones.
• Cat owners had no advantage over the average person. That indicates that perhaps each cat communicates differently with their owner.
• Cat owners are less bonded to their pets than dog owners.
Mason says that when a cat is communicating with us, “It’s subtle, and you need expertise – and maybe a little intuition – to see it.”
(Well, I can certainly tell when I’ve petted the wrong part of my cat!)
(But one facial expression from a cat can mean so many different things. Take the “Woman Yelling at a Cat” meme for instance…)
-NYPost

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A Mexican family discovered that their pet cat had been leading a double life. That’s right, he had a second home, a different name and another family just a few blocks away. Whenever Pixi went away for longer than usual, Mary Lore Barra assumed that he was going on feline adventures through the streets of Tamaulipas. What she never imagined was that Pixi was actually spending time with another human family, who in turn thought they were the cat’s sole owners. Pixi’s double life was accidentally revealed when he came home to the Barra residence wearing a new collar around his neck. (Which totally let the cat out of the bag…)
➢ After a Vancouver Island newspaper accidentally advertised opportunities for “pictures with Satan” during a weekend Christmas parade, one man decided to dress up as the red man himself. That’s right, on Sunday, Tim Miller showed up at the Courtenay, BC parade dressed as Satan. Photos show dozens of people happily taking pictures with Miller, who also donned a Santa suit on top of his horns and claws. (Would that be Little Saint Nicky?)
-OddityCentral

DID YOU KNOW?
Mike Jack of London, UK is celebrating two Guinness World Records for eating one of the hottest chilies on the planet. He earned the world record for the fastest time to eat three ghost peppers when he downed the trio of super-spicy chilies in 9.75 seconds Jan. 26. On March 2, he broke the record for the most ghost peppers eaten in one minute, consuming 97 grams. Ghost peppers have a rating of more than one million Scoville heat units. A jalapeno ranks between 3,500-8,000. How does his body react when he consumes some of the hottest chilies on the planet? He says: “When I’m done, I just start sweating a lot and it’s just snot and drool coming out of my face.”
-LondonFreePress

BS CHRONOMETER 12.06.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [64] Steven Wright, Cambridge MA, comedian (known for his lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of one-liners)/actor (“Desperately Seeking Susan”, “The Emoji Movie”)
Five of Steven Wright’s best lines:
• It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.
• I’ve written several children’s books…not on purpose.
• 7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
• A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
• All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
• I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he’s gone.
• A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently, it wasn’t first place.

1956 [63] Peter Buck, Oakland CA, rock guitarist (REM-‘Losing My Religion’, ‘Everybody Hurts’)

1958 [61] Debbie Rowe, Spokane WA, mother of Michael Jackson’s sons Prince and Paris/married to Michael Jackson 1996-99

1967 [52] Judd Apatow, Syosset NY, movie producer (“Bridesmaids”, “Pineapple Express”)/movie director (“Knocked Up”, “The 40-Year-Old Virgin”)

SATURDAY- Tom Waits (‘Downtown Train’) is 70; Priscilla Barnes (“Jane The Virgin”) is 64; Sara Bareilles (‘Love Song’) is 40; Aaron Carter (‘Aaron’s Party [Come Get It]) is 32; Nicholas Hoult (“X-Men: First Class”) is 30

SUNDAY- Teri Hatcher (“Desperate Housewives”) is 55; Sinead O’Conner (‘Nothing Compares 2 U’) is 53; Dominic Monaghan (“Lost”) is 43; Ian Somerhalder (“Vampire Diaries”) is 41; Niki Minaj (‘Anaconda’) is 37; Sam Hunt (‘Body Like a Back Road’) is 35

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Gazpacho Day”, in celebration of the spicy but cold Spanish soup. To look like a real rube, order some in a restaurant, then blow on it to cool it down.

• “Miners Day”, saluting the ‘men of the deeps’ who toil away daily underground.  (You know what they say: “A lot of people worry about being buried alive, but really it’s a miner problem…”)

• “Put on Your Own Shoes Day”, This is it, boys and girls. Time to prove you’re a big kid now. (Tomorrow, we work on putting on MATCHING shoes…)

• “Pawnbrokers Day”, celebrated on “St. Nicholas Day”, the saint who, among other things, is the patron saint of pawnbrokers.  (Buuut…shouldn’t St. Nicholas Day be Dec. 25?)

• “St Nicholas Day”, commemorating the 4th-century bishop who died December 6, 342 AD and from whom the traditions of “Santa Claus” and exchanging gifts were derived. No wonder he’s the patron saint of both children and merchants! Many European kids awaken today to find candy and oranges in their shoes, or if they’ve been bad … a piece of coal.

• “Microwave Oven Day”, Percy Spencer discovered microwave cooking in 1945 when he came too close to a magnetron tube and a chocolate bar in his pocket began to melt. (Fun Fact: The first commercially available microwave oven in 1947 was called the ‘Radarange’)

SATURDAY-
• “Cotton Candy Day”, celebrating the sweet, sugary taste-treat that melts in your mouth. It was invented in 1897 as ‘Fairy Floss’, then renamed in 1920. In Greece, Israel, and India it is often referred to as ‘Old Woman’s Hair’. Yuck.
• “International Civil Aviation Day”, an observance by the International Civil Aviation Organization since 1994. The day is celebrated worldwide by the aviation community, including ATC (Air Traffic Control), airport management, and airlines.
• “Letter Writing Day”, when we’re encouraged to take a few minutes to send someone a handwritten letter. Letter-writing has almost become a lost art. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone, either printed or in cursive?
• “Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day”, observed on the anniversary of the ‘date which will live in infamy’, the 1941 Japanese raid on Pearl Harbor, Hawaii which caused the US to enter WW2. BS FAST FACT:  The film “Pearl Harbor” cost as much to produce as the actual rebuilding of Pearl Harbor and lasted an hour longer than the attack.

SUNDAY-
• “Brownie Day”, celebrating the chewy chocolate in a pan that you just can’t quit eating.
• “Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day”, an annual event created in 2007 by the Koala Wallop online community that combines performance art, humor, and plain old fun. The basic premise is to pretend to be someone from the past or future who’s somehow ended up in the present.
• “Take It In the Ear Day”, a day to learn how to accept criticism graciously.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [14] Director Ang Lee’s “Brokeback Mountain”, starring Heath Ledger & Jake Gyllenhaal, premieres in NYC (goes on to win 3 Academy Awards)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2008 [11] Beyoncé’s 3rd album “I Am Sasha Fierce” debuts at #1 (as had her first 2)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1877 [142] First recording made of the human voice: Thomas Edison reciting ‘Mary had a Little Lamb”

2003 [16] Army becomes the 1st team in NCAA major college football history to finish its season 0-13, by losing to Navy 34-6

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2013 [06] The Fender Stratocaster electric guitar played by Bob Dylan at the 1965 Newport Folk Festival is sold at auction in NYC for a record $965,000 (had been in the possession of a NJ family for 48 years after Dylan left it on a private plane)

2017 [02] Starbucks opens its largest cafe in the world in Shanghai: 30,000 square-feet, 1/2 size of a football field

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ William Shakespeare invented the word ‘bump’ in the play “Romeo and Juliet”.
✓ Bison are born orange.
✓ Of all types of smiles, the insincere smile uses the least energy and the fewest muscles.
✓ If you lose your pinkie finger, you lose 50% of your hand strength.
✓ It’s estimated that the value of a home drops by $5,000 if any room is painted bright pink.
✓ Hell, Michigan froze over in 2004, 2014 and again this year.

BS COMPLAINTS FROM NORTH POLE ELVES:
• Not allowed to join in reindeer games.
• Always being compared to Buddy.
• Low shelf-esteem.
• Climate change is melting my work station.
• How are we supposed to make these kids an iPhone without being sued?
• Nothing to eat but cookies and reindeer jerky.
• Keebler Elves have a better benefit package.
• The polar bears ate Sugarplum Mary.
• South Pole elves never have to do squat.
• “I can’t handle one more Christmas Carol, and it’s only Dec. 6!
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS INAPPROPRIATE FUNERAL THOUGHTS:
• “This is definitely the quietest I’ve ever seen him.”
• “Soooo…you’re single now…”
• “Punk owed me 20…”
• “I cannot believe that priest is telling us that he went to heaven.”
• “I wore that outfit better.”
• “How much longer until we get to eat those little triangular sandwiches?”
• “I knew I shouldn’t have held his beer…”
• “Even in death, she’s on her back.”
• “It looks like I got away with it…”
• “Don’t check your phone…Don’t check your phone…Don’t check your phone…”
• “That looks nothing like her. She looks really pretty…”
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m pretty happy that this year I managed to put off my Christmas shopping extra early.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What did you think was cool when you were young, but not so much now?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  1/3 of THESE happen between US Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day. What are they?
Answer:  Marriage proposals

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.