The Bull Sheet

December 13, 2010

Monday, December 13, 2010        Edition: #4406
It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Today production on TV show “Glee” (FOX) is scheduled to restart after being shut down for several days when cast members fell ill with tonsillitis. The actors & crew had been working on a special episode to air after the Super Bowl. The scenes which had to be skipped will now be shot in January.
– EW.com
• “Better with You” (ABC) TV actress JoAnna Garcia & New York Yankees player Nick Swisher  swapped wedding vows in front of family & friends in an evening ceremony Saturday in Palm Beach FL. Actress Jamie Lynn Sigler (ex-“Sopranos”) and Garcia’s former “Reba” co-star Reba McEntire served as bridesmaids; former *NSYNC singer Lance Bass also stood as part of the wedding party.
– NYDailynews.com
• Nicole Richie & musician Joel Madden (Good Charlotte) also got hitched, exchanging vows Saturday at her father Lionel Richie’s Beverly Hills CA estate. Madden’s bandmate Benji served as best man while the socialite’s DJ pal Samantha Ronson was among the bridesmaids. Other guests included Ashlee Simpson, Gwen Stefani, and Kris Jenner.
– People.com.
• Any way you look at it, 2010 was a challenging year for the music touring business. Overall the numbers reported to ‘Billboard Boxscore’ are way down, excepting country music concerts, some major festivals, and tours by superstars. Postponed, canceled, or reconfigured tours in 2010 include “American Idols Live”, Christina Aguilera, the Eagles, Jonas Bros, Lilith Fair, Limp Bizkit, Rihanna, and Simon & Garfunkel.
– Billboard.biz
• Just days after splitting from Canadian model Gabriel Aubry, 30-year-old reality TV star Kim ,Jersey Nets basketball player Kris Humphries. After checking out Z100’s “Jingle Ball” concert – featuring Justin Beiber and Katy Perry – they partied at Provocateur lounge, then returned to Kardashian’s hotel in the wee hours Saturday morning.
– UsMagazine.com
• Actor-comedian Chris Rock has come to the rescue of a pregnant Christmas shopper who went into labor at a New Jersey mall. Rock was browsing the aisles of Neiman Marcus at the Westfield Garden State Plaza when he saw the mother-to-be’s water break in the middle of the store. He rushed over to help, and stayed by her side making her laugh until paramedics arrived.
– Jam Showbiz!
• And remember the ‘Digital Life Sacrifice’ initiated by Alicia Keys on “World AIDS Day”, whereby 18 celebs suspended their social network accounts until $1 million was donated to her ‘Keep A Child Alive Foundation’? Here’s what really happened – after 6 days, donations were still under 300K and the celebs got restive. Usher just plain gave up and started tweeting again. So a billionaire philanthropist was reportedly begged for the remainder. It would have cost the stars’ 35 million combined followers less than 3 cents each to get them tweeting again, so it appears not many care much about what they have to say. In any event, Keys’ victory tweet, “Weee diiid itttt!” seemingly didn’t tell the whole story.
– PopBitch .com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Jimmy Eat World (“Invented”). They’ll tour North America again starting January 28th in Albuquerque NM, then visit Japan, Australia, and New Zealand in March-April.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Darker My Love (“Alive As You Are”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Two Door Cinema Club (“Tourist History”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Diddy-Dirty Money (“Las Train to Paris”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – “American Idol” runner-up Crystal Bowersox (“Farmer’s Daughter”).
• “Mariah Carey: Merry Christmas To You” (ABC) – Carey performs new & classic holiday songs at the Orpheum Theatre in Los Angeles.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Good Charlotte (“Cardiology”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Brad Paisley – He’s set an April 19th release date for his next album, “This Is Country Music”. Starting today the title track is available for 1 week as a free download on the album’s website.
• Gorillaz – Damon Albarn has recorded an album of new material on his iPad while on tour, and the release date for it is Christmas Day. Even better, it’ll be a free download. (Nice gift!)
• Lady Gaga – She’s been named “Billboard” magazine’s ‘Top Artist Of the Year’, based on the chart performance of “The Fame” and “The Fame Monster”.
• Taylor Swift – She reveals that she resorted to lining her eyes with a Sharpie permanent marker when she was aboard a Japan-bound plane without any makeup a while back. She doesn’t recommend the tactic but does say it turned her on to using liquid liner. (CoverGirl must be thrilled their new spokesperson is finding such subtle ways to do plugs.)
• Train – “Hey, Soul Sister” was the top-selling song of 2010 on iTunes. Eminem’s “Recovery” was the top-selling album.

THE BEAUTY MARK:
British scientists at King’s College London have discovered that people with lots of moles are genetically protected from many of the signs of aging. The new research suggests they may not only develop fewer wrinkles in old age, but also have stronger bones and tauter muscles. In some people, moles continue to spread as they grow older, producing a smooth and wrinkle-free complexion that can make a woman look 7 years younger than her real age. (Yeah but how can you tell if it’s a mole … or just a wart?)
– “Times of London”

KID DICTIONARY:
A few of the children-centered words found in Eric Ruhalter’s new “KidDictionary: Words Parents Need to Describe Their Kids” …
• Deframation – The sharp decline in the number of photos taken of the 2nd child compared to the 1st.
• Garboflage – To hide a piece of your child’s artwork under other trash in the wastebasket so they don’t catch you throwing it away.
• Toyphoon – Kids’ routine recreational activity that leaves their playroom looking like it was struck by a hurricane.
• Uptitude – The intense desire to be the one who presses the button in an elevator.
• Wishjacked – What happens when another kid barges in and blows out the flames on a birthday cake while the guest of honor is still struggling with a birthday wish.
• Woundoggle – When a child pretends to be hurt after hurting someone else, in hopes it will prevent him or her from getting in trouble.
– “Chicago Tribune”

NEW DISCOVERIES ABOUT THE COMMON COLD:
• Feeling rested doesn’t help you fight a cold, but the number of hours you sleep does. Want to lower your risk of catching a cold? Sleep for more than 7 hours a night.
• If you hate your job, you’re more likely to catch a cold. A pair of recent studies show that unhappy employees do more sniffling & sneezing than their happier colleagues.
• Catching a cold may be connected to childhood obesity. In a recent study, fully 78% of the kids who tested positive for the cold-causing AD36 virus were obese.
• A team of US researchers has recently finished mapping the genetic code of 99 different cold viruses. It’s hoped it will eventually provide the key to the best ways to prevent infection.
– Condensed from “Best Health Magazine”

CONGREGATING CAUSES CONTENT:
Religious people tend to report more life satisfaction, and a new study explains why. It’s not their spirituality, belief in heaven, or even the ritual act of praying or going to a house of worship that leads the pious to happiness. Rather, the study found, it’s the close friends people gain through their religion that makes a difference. The findings suggest that forging close bonds with people over mutually shared and meaningful interests might boost quality of life for anyone, religious or not. But there’s something about being part of a congregation in particular that seems to build a sense of community and lead to fulfilment for many people. (Church … another social network.)
– “ Discovery News”

FOREVER IN NEW JEANS:
• A new hybrid form of jeans has hit the market … the ‘jegging’. This offspring of denim and the legging is such a big deal that Conan O’Brien recently sported a pair on his late night show as a joke. Higher end brands are actually made with denim and last longer than the ‘faux’ brands.
– “NY Daily News”
• Jeans were created in Genoa, Italy as an all-purpose pant for sailors. They were washed by being pulled behind ships in large nets and the saltwater bleached them over time. Denim came from France, and the word for denim pants in French was similar to their word for Genoa, hence the term ‘jeans’.
– TTP

THE PERP HAD GOOGLY EYES:
Researchers in the UK have found that police artists would be better off drawing cartoon caricatures of criminals rather than using the standard realistic pictures they now create. A study at the University of Central Lancashire found that cartoon-like faces are far better at jogging a witness’ memory of a perpetrator’s face. The experiment finds that standard police sketches result in a correct identification just 20% of the time, while caricatures are twice as effective, scoring in 40% of attempts. (This will be really helpful if you’re ever mugged by a ‘toon.)
– “The Guardian”

DID YOU KNOW?
The first version of what became the ‘mall Santa’ appeared in 1900 in Los Angeles. The 5 original ‘Sidewalk Santas’ were actually booked for ‘creating a nuisance’ and hauled off to jail. They were later freed after a public outcry and went on to raise some $800 to provide Christmas dinners for the poor.
– “Volunteers of America”

AND WE QUOTE:
“I get my flow from daddy, my singing ability from mommy, and the camera stuff from both. That’s just what happens when you hang with the Smiths!”
– 10-year-old celebrity offspring Willow Smith (daughter of Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith), whose single “Whip My Hair” currently tops the British pop chart. She’ll be joining Justin Bieber on the European leg of his “My World Tour”, which begins in March.

BS CHRONOMETER 12.13.10

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1925 [85] Dick Van Dyke, West Plains MO, movie actor (“Night At the Museum” films, “Mary Poppins”)/TV actor (“Diagnosis Murder” 1993-2001, “Dick Van Dyke Show 1961-66, 1971-74)

1929 [81] Christopher Plummer, Toronto ON, stage actor (Tony Award -“Barrymore”)/movie actor (“Sound of Music”)/Companion Of the Order of Canada (1968)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (1999)/Governor-General’s Performing Arts Award (2001)

1957 [53] Steve Buscemi, Brooklyn NY, TV actor (‘Nucky Thompson’ on “Boardwalk Empire” 2010, “The Sopranos” 2004-05)/movie actor (“Monster House”, “Fargo”)

1967 [43] Jamie Foxx, Terrell TX, movie actor (“Dreamgirls”, Academy Award-“Ray”)/R&B singer (f/T-Pain-“Blame It”, f/Ludacris-“Unpredictable”)  UP NEXT: The album “Best Night of My Life”, out December 17th.

1974 [36] Nicholas McCarthy, Blackpool UK, rock guitarist (Franz Ferdinand-“No You Girls”, “Take Me Out”)

1975 [35] Tom DeLonge, Poway CA, rock singer (Angels & Airwaves-“Everything’s Magic”, Blink 182-“I Miss You”)

1981 [29] Amy Lee, Riverside CA, rock singer (Evanescence-“Call Me When You’re Sober”, “My Immortal”)

1989 [21] Taylor Swift, Wyomissing PA, country/pop singer (“Mine”, “You Belong With Me”)/2010 Grammy & 2009 CMA Award for ‘Album Of the Year’ (“Fearless”)/2009 CMA Award for ‘Entertainer Of the Year’

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Hot Cocoa Day”, because there’s nothing like a steaming mug of the stuff on a bitter cold December day. (Ouch! Burned my freakin’ tongue!)

• “New Calendar Day”, a reminder to pick up the 2011 model. (Regular charity contributors likely already have too many.)

• “Peace Day” in Korea, marking the date in 1991 when North & South Korea signed a treaty of reconciliation non-aggression, formally ending the Korean War 38 years after fighting had stopped in 1953. (Well, that seemed to work out well!)

• “St Lucy’s Day”, honoring her 304 AD birth. Legend has it that, in order to follow a life of religious devotion, she cut out her eyes and sent them on a plate to a persistent lover who was haunted by them (especially afterward!). Today hotels in Sweden feature their own ‘Lucia’, a young blond girl in white gown who serves guests coffee & ‘lussekatter’ (saffron buns).

• “Violins Day”, for some unknown reason. (Don’t forget your G-string!)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982 [28] Vanna White turns over her 1st letter on “Wheel of Fortune” … it’s a ‘T’ (man, what a soft touch way to make a living, huh?)

1996 [14] “Jerry Maguire” opens in movie theaters, starring Tom Cruise, Cuba Gooding Jr, and Renee Zellweger (and people everywhere begin yelling, “Show me the money!”)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1998 [12] A Belgian horticulturist introduces a fashionable skirt made of living grass (it’s recommended it be watered once-a-day and mowed once-a-month)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1988 [22] 3 men end a 29-hour, all-466-station subway ride in NYC (and live to tell about it!)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] “Oprah’s Ultimate Australian Adventure” taping (Sydney)
[Tues] Michael Jackson’s “Michael” album released
[Wed] Cat Herders Day
[Wed] Ashura begins (Muslim)
[Thurs] Chocolate-Covered Anything Day
[Thurs] Underdog Day
This Week Is … Drunk Drivers Awareness Week
This Month Is … Hi Neighbor Month

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN:
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you’re gone.
Dogs feel guilty when they’ve done something wrong.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs never laugh at how you throw a ball.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
Dogs understand what ‘no’ means.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The trouble with doing something right the first time is nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

BS WEB GOODIE:
Where to find WikiLeaks mirror sites …
NET: http://bit.ly/f5YVel

BS PHONE STARTER:
Tell us about your unique/unusual/truly weird Christmas Eve ritual.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average woman spends between 3-and-4 hours a year doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Wrapping Christmas gifts.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless you have plenty that needs doing.

Exit mobile version