Thursday, December 5, 2019 – Edition: #6588
Why Not Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning?
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Margot Robbie and their “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood” co-stars will receive the ensemble cast award at the upcoming “Capri Hollywood – The International Film Festival” The festival will run between December 27 and January 2. President Tony Renis said: ”Leonardo Di Caprio, Brad Pitt and Margot Robbie are the leading members of an outstanding cast that also includes Emile Hirsch, Margaret Qualley, Timothy Olyphant, Austin Butler, Dakota Fanning, Bruce Dern, Lorenza Izzo and Al Pacino. Combined, these amazing performers populate the captivating scenario of 1969 Los Angeles, arousing the enthusiasm of audiences from all around the world.”
-ContactMusic
★ Brad Pitt is getting candid about his past struggles with alcohol, admitting he used booze as “an escape” before getting sober after his split with Angelina Jolie. Pitt said that after Jolie filed for divorce in 2016, he spent two years “freeing” himself from those substances. He also spent over a year in Alcoholics Anonymous. Quote: “You had all these men sitting around being open and honest in a way I have never heard. It was this safe space where there was little judgment, and therefore little judgment of yourself.”
-TheBlast
★ Martin Scorsese has urged people not to watch his film “The Irishman” on their phones. The gangster film is now available to stream on Netflix, in addition to being released in cinemas, but the director does not want viewers to experience the movie on their mobiles. Quote: ”I would suggest – if you ever want to see one of my pictures, or most films – please, please don’t look at it on a phone, please. An iPad, a big iPad, maybe.”
(Why not? My phone’s the only screen I stare at for 3½ hours!)
-ContactMusic
★ A “Star Wars” game show is coming to Disney+ in 2020. They’ve put in the order for “Star Wars: Jedi Temple Challenge,” a competition series that will pit contestants against each other to see who can be the best Jedi. According to Disney, the competition will test contestants in the core Jedi principles of strength, knowledge, and bravery. Ahmed Best, who played Jar Jar Binks in the prequel “Star Wars” trilogy, will host the series.
-TheWrap
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Sam Rockwell, Francesca Hayward, Sheryl Crow, Stevie Nicks
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jennifer Lopez, Camila Cabello
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Scarlett Johansson, Joe Pera, the Weeknd
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Mariska Hargitay, Lizzy Caplan, Sam Fender (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Rebel Wilson, Kacey Musgraves
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Casey Wilson, Nico Santos, Chris Hardwick
• “Conan” (TBS): Jameela Jamil
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Alanis Morissette, Julia Stiles
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Josh Groban, guest co-host Bari Weiss
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jimmy Kimmel
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jimmy Smits, Lea Michele, Monica Mangin
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Eddie Murphy, Sean Hayes
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Chrissy Metz, Iain Armitage, Diane Warren
• “A Charlie Brown Christmas” (ABC): Linus helps Charlie Brown with what Christmas is all about, plus “Charlie Brown Christmas Tales” features a vignette of each “Peanuts” character.
• “Same Time, Next Christmas” (ABC): Sparks fly between a young woman and her childhood sweetheart when they reunite at the same Hawaiian resort where they met years earlier.
• “A Saturday Night Live Christmas Special” (NBC): A collection of “Saturday Night Live’s” Christmas-themed sketches, including D… in a Box, Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood, Adam Sandler’s ‘Chanukah Song’, Martha Stewart’s Topless Christmas and more.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Drake and Ed Sheeran — have been named Spotify’s Most Streamed Artists of The Decade. Drake has tallied a staggering 28 billion streams on the service, while Sheeran has notched 2.3 billion for his song ‘Shape of You’ alone. In third place on the Most Streamed Artists of The Decade list is Post Malone, followed by Ariana Grande and Eminem.
• Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes – Their hit ‘Señorita’ is Spotify’s Most Streamed Song of 2019 with more than a billion streams.
• Prince – His sister Tyka Nelson has sold off a chunk of her one-sixth share of his estate, amid her ongoing financial woes. In March, she was ordered to pay up on $850,000 owed to lawyers who worked on her late brother’s estate.
• Deep Purple – have announced that they have completed a new album, their first since 2017’s “inFinite”. the band have also confirmed a run of UK dates for October 2020 with special guest Blue Oyster Cult, and singer Ian Gillan indicated that new tour plans will be announced in the spring.
• Neil Young – is asking fans for help with deciding on the next release from his archives. He’s currently considering 29 different offerings, and has called on subscribers to his Neil Young Archives website to vote for their top three.
• Michael Bolton – will tour the UK in autumn 2020 with a symphony for his “Love Songs Greatest Hits Tour”. That follows his “A Symphony of Hits” LP, which was released this year to mark his 50th anniversary in the music business, and featured his best-known recordings re-arranged and recorded with the West Australian Philharmonic Orchestra.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – will co-headline the Hangout Music Festival with Post Malone and Billie Eilish. The 11th edition of the Gulf Shores, Alabama music fest, set to run May 15-17, will also include Marshmello, Lana Del Rey, Cage The Elephant, Juice WRLD, Kane Brown, The Head and the Heart, and more.
• Miranda Lambert – the well-known humanitarian and animal-rights activist launched a program for her non-profit “MuttNation” on Giving Tuesday. She is asking people to sign a pledge to volunteer, and those that do so and complete their volunteer day, could win a $1,000 grant for their shelter.
• Darius Rucker – will play a charity show at a Price Hill, Ohio school. The May 7 fundraiser at Elder High School is for a new school fitness center and to provide scholarships to students in need, plus raise money for “Kids2Camp”, which helps send children in need to sports camps. It will be hosted by Kyle Rudolph of the Minnesota Vikings, and will also feature the Bronson Arroyo Band.
• Thomas Rhett – Although he has two new Christmas songs out this season (‘The Christmas Song’ and the original tune ‘Christmas in the Country’, he says his “dream in life would be to write a classic Christmas song that gets played until my kids are older,” because “It’s kind of impossible to write a (holiday) classic.”
WIPING UP:
It’s common question when the winter weather hits. Should we leave our windshield wiper blades up or down before a snowfall or ice storm? The Canadian Automobile Association (CAA) recommends keeping them down, because raising them is likely to reduce their pressure against the windshield over time, resulting in possible visibility issues. As well, wipers could snap back and crack your windshield, especially on a very cold day. While lifting your wipers prior to wintery weather may reduce some wear on the rubber, the vast majority of wear happens while actually using the wipers, so you won’t be doing much to increase the longevity of your wipers.
(I’m not too concerned about increasing their longevity. Every time I get an oil change, my mechanic goes ahead and replaces them anyway!)
(Or be like my Grandmother, and cover them with knitted socks!)
(In my neighborhood, if you raise them up, it’s like putting up a sign that says “Please remove!”)
-Yahoo
IS THERE A NAP FOR THIS?
A biologist at University of Nebraska-Lincoln is attempting to determine how humans might learn to hibernate, similar to the way that bears do. Matt Andrews believes that the physiology of hibernation might also be applicable to organ transplants. Currently, a waiting kidney or liver can be preserved in cold solutions for only 24 hours, after which it can’t be used. A heart or a lung is only good for four to six hours. He believes that if organs could be induced to enter something like hibernation, in the future, organ donation banks could exist. Human hibernation could be very handy for extraterrestrial travel, as you are no doubt aware if you’re a fan of sci-fi space movies.
(I’m totally willing to volunteer…In fact, I did a test-run on the weekend!)
(I’d be all for this just to save a few months’ car insurance!)
(Why not? My wife already says I’m like a bear when I first wake up!)
-QI, NYTimes
SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO THE OFFICE…OR IS HE?
As we get set for the painfully awkward “Secret Santa” season at the office, we get the news that the annual gift-swap among workers just might end up being the next thing that is killed off by millennials. According to a survey by the British job-hunting website “Jobsite”, 35% of millennials would prefer to do away with that kind of office celebration, due to financial and emotional pressures. The survey says that workers spend an average of $169 per year on office events like birthdays and Secret Santas, and fork over close to $8,000 over the course of their careers. And perhaps surprisingly, the survey found that millennials spend about 34% more than the average worker, totaling $258 per year or $12,142 over their careers.
(That’s if they aren’t able to have it canceled in the meantime!)
(I’m not even going to ask about the emotional pressure one faces when selecting a $10 gift…)
(Just when I thought there was no hope for the future, they go and do something like this…and totally redeem themselves!)
-Canoe
FOR THE WEIRDO ON YOUR HOLIDAY LIST:
(Some of the absolute weirdest products on Amazon that people actually buy…)
⇒ Candle for Lefties: If you have lefties in your family, you know how difficult they find it to use some common objects. Well, they won’t have any trouble lighting this candle, which is specially designed to be easily lit with the left hand. Bonus: When lit, it “smells like the weird scissors” they gave lefties in school. (And why is it that the left-handed kids couldn’t be trusted with ‘pointy’ scissors?) $20
⇒ Pizza Pouch: If you need a way to transport your pizza hands-free, this is it! It uses what looks like a lanyard strap attached to a triangular Ziploc bag, so your next piece of ‘za is never too far away from your face!
⇒ Toe Stretchers: They might make you look weird, but YogaToes stretches and separates your toes to keep your feet healthy and strong. $29.95
⇒ Yodeling Pickle: There is very little to say about this other than that it is a yodeling pickle. It is literally a pickle that yodels when you press a button. (What’s not to love?) $14.99
⇒ The Wine Glass That Holds a Whole Bottle: We’ve all had days like that…. when there was no question from the first pour that you’re going to finish the whole thing. So why not pour it all at once? (Plus, no worries about a ‘sloppy pour’ after you’re already tipsy!) $13.99
⇒ Horse Head Squirrel Feeder: Yes, it’s just that. A squirrel feeder in the shape of a horse head. In order to use it, a squirrel must stand on its rear legs, and insert its head into the suspended feeder, giving the appearance that it is wearing an enormous horse-head mask. Hours of fun! (Or at least a small chuckle…once!) $20
⇒ Portable Toilet: Comes with a privacy poncho, a pee bag with a unisex receiver cup, urine gels, and a Ziploc seal, a poo bag and a leak-resistant disposal bag. (Finally, I can ‘go’ anywhere!) $3.49
-22Words
DID YOU KNOW?
It’s OK to only exercise on weekends. According to a study published in JAMA Internal Medicine, as long as you get in the recommended 150 minutes of exercise a week, it doesn’t matter how you spread it out. The study found that people who work out on the weekend lower their risk of death from any cause by 30 percent, on average. The average risk of death from any cause for those who worked out for the same amount of time, but regularly throughout the week, was just 5 percent lower.
-Curiosity
BS CHRONOMETER 12.05.19
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1932 [87] Little Richard (Richard Wayne Penniman), Macon GA, rock singer ‘Good Golly Miss Molly’, ‘Tutti Frutti’)
1965 [54] John Rzeznik, Buffalo NY, rock singer-guitarist (Goo Goo Dolls-‘Iris’, ‘Slide’)
1967 [52] Gary Allan (Herzberg), La Mirada CA, country singer (‘Every Storm Runs Out of Rain’, ‘Nothing on But the Radio’)
1968 [51] Margaret Cho, San Francisco CA, comedian (known for her critiques of social and political problems)/movie actress (“Face/Off”)/award winner for her work with the LGBT and Asian communities
1975 [44] Paula Patton, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“Mission: Impossible, Ghost Protocol”, “Precious”, ex-wife of Robin Thicke
1981 [38] Adan Canto, Acuña, Mexico, TV actor (‘Aaron Shore’ on “Designated Survivor” since 2016)
1982 [37] Keri Hilson, Decatur GA, R&B singer-songwriter (‘Pretty Girl Rock’, f/Kanye West & Ne-Yo–‘Knock You Down’)
1985 [34] Frankie Muniz, Wood Ridge NJ, TV actor, (“Malcolm in the Middle” 2000-2006)/TV host (“Dancing With the Stars: Juniors”, 2018)/movie actor (“Agent Cody Banks”)
1986 [33] James Hinchcliffe, Oakville, ON Canada, IndyCar racer (winner of 5 IndyCar races over seven years/finished second in season 23 of “Dancing With The Stars”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bathtub Party Day”, encouraging a luxurious long, hot bath to develop inner peace. Almost everyone nowadays takes showers, so here’s a chance to recall a luxury from days gone by.
• “Communicate With Your Kids Day”, to promote open and ongoing communication between parents and children with a special emphasis on early childhood communication.
• “International Day of the Ninja”, when you’re encouraged to dress like a ninja and run wild in the streets. The problem? One of the skills of a ninja is ensuring that one’s opponent does not know of his existence. So how can you run wild in the streets?
NET: http://www.dayoftheninja.com
• “World Soil Day”, first declared in 2013 to raise awareness of the importance of soils for food security, agriculture, as well as in mitigation of climate change, poverty alleviation, and sustainable development.
• “International Volunteer Day”, honoring the selfless people who make many of the good things in life happen by volunteering their time.
COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Bartender Appreciation Day
[Fri] Faux Fur Friday
[Sat] Earmuff Day
[Sat] National Cotton Candy Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [16] Coldplay frontman Chris Martin marries actress Gwyneth Paltrow, a year after meeting backstage at one of his concerts. They divorce in 2016
2006 [13] The little black dress worn by Audrey Hepburn in the 1961 film “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” is sold at auction in London for $923,000, 7 times the pre-auction estimate
2013 [06] Spotify responds to critics by revealing how much acts can expect to earn from the music streaming site … an average of $0.007 per play
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2004 [15] Elton John is introduced by Robert Downey Jr. as the “other first lady” as he receives a Kennedy Center honor
2012 [07] Alicia Keys scores her 5th #1 album on the ‘Billboard 200’ with “Girl on Fire”
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Top speed of a falling raindrop is 18mph (29kph).
✓ When we touch something, the message moves to the brain at 124 mph (200kph).
✓ The color blue causes the brain to release calming hormones.
✓ Most soccer players run about 7 miles (11.2 km) in a game.
✓ The temperature of milk when it leaves the body of a cow is 101 degrees Fahrenheit (38.3C).
✓ The average woman consumes 6 lbs (2.72 kg) of lipstick in her lifetime.
Best of BS . . .
BS WHYZITS:
• Whyzit people on TV never go to the bathroom?
• Whyzit the fellow who says “I’m no speechmaker” never lets it go at that, but insists on giving a demonstration?
• Whyzit people who know the least know it the loudest?
• Whyzit, whether you ‘sit up’ or ‘sit down’, the result is the same?
• Whyzit the practice is called ‘fasting’ when time passes so slowly while you’re doing it?
• Whyzit the phrase ‘It is none of my business’ seems to always be followed by the word ‘but’?
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2009
BS ODD THINGS TO PUT ON LAYAWAY:
• Fresh fruit
• A pregnancy test
• A partridge in a pear tree
• Advent calendar
• A bag of Lay’s chips
• A gift certificate
• An Epi-pen
• Ice cream
• A book on how to handle your household budget
• My holiday spirit
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018
BS PHONE STARTER:
Which member of your family do you spend the most on at Christmas? (A survey found that husbands spend the most on their wives, but wives spend the most on their sons.)
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Some day I hope to be rich enough that I can sort by price from high to low.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 31% of adults tell a new girlfriend or boyfriend THIS within a month of dating them.
Answer: Their salary
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Worry is a misuse of your imagination.
