Wednesday, December 13, 2023 – Edition: #7617
Sheet Happens!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ This Barbie is glad she didn’t party. Oscar winner Anne Hathaway has revealed that she feels “lucky” that her “Barbie” film never got made. In a podcast appearance, Hathaway explained: “What’s so exciting about what Greta [Gerwig] and Margot [Robbie] and that phenomenal team [did] is they hit a bullseye.” The “Devil Waers Prade” actress said that bullseye “caused the entire world to reach this level of ecstasy.” Hathaway was initially supposed to star as the iconic Mattel doll after Amy Schumer backed out, but, she says, it wouldn’t have been “the right version”. After that idea was scrapped in 2018, Robbie was cast, whom Hathaway called “sublime” in the role.
-NYPost
★ Ready for another rendezvous with the ton? Netflix has announced the return of “Bridgerton” in 2024, with the third season of the period drama streaming in 2 parts. The first 4 episodes will premiere on May 16, and the next 4 on June 13. The series will jump right into ‘Penelope’ and ‘Colin’s’ romance in Season 3, diverting from the books it’s based on. Penelope will also deal with her rift with ‘Eloise’.
-Variety
★ Jennifer Aniston claims Matthew Perry was “happy” and “healthy” in the days ahead of his shocking death in October. In an interview published by Variety, Aniston said: “He had quit smoking. He was getting in shape. He was happy — that’s all I know.” She also said she “was literally texting with him that morning…He was not in pain. He wasn’t struggling. He was happy.” She also stressed that her beloved “Friends” co-star hadn’t relapsed, despite what some might believe, in light of his years-long struggle with drugs and alcohol.
-PageSix
★ Anna “Chickadee” Cardwell secretly married her boyfriend, Eldridge Toney, before losing her battle with cancer. The eldest daughter of “Mama June” Shannon said “I do” on March 4 in Wilkinson County, GA, according to the marriage license obtained by TMZ. Sources explained that Cardwell wanted to walk down the aisle “while she was still feeling well enough to go through a ceremony” after being diagnosed with stage 4 adrenal carcinoma in January. Her sister Lauryn “Pumpkin” Efird’s husband, Joshua Efird, reportedly officiated the wedding — while a camera crew filmed for the family’s WE TV reality series “Mama June: Family Crisis.” Cardwell died Saturday night at the age of 29.
-PageSix
★ It’s been more than 3 years since a “Who’s the Boss?” revival was announced, and original series star Tony Danza is still hopeful that it’s happening. He appeared on “The View” with the cast of “Taxi” for a reunion special and, of course, host Sara Haines noted that Taxi was a key factor in Danza landing his Who’s the Boss? Part. When she pressed for any updates on a reboot or sequel series, Danza admitted he’s as in the dark as the rest of us. Quote: “It’s been up in the ether for so long, I’m hoping it happens now!…I’m just waiting to hear like everybody else.”
-TheWrap
★ The Black List has revealed its 2023 list of best unproduced screenplays, including a biopic of country singer Patsy Cline, the rise and fall of Sam Bankman-Fried crypto empire FTX, and an action-comedy about Tom Hanks and his doppelganger. Topping this year’s list is a script titled “Bad Boy”, with a logline that reads: “A rescue dog suspects his loving new owner is a serial killer.” Also on the list is a screenplay about the Broadway playwright behind the notorious disaster “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark”. The Black List, which was first published in 2005, features 76 feature screenplays that were selected by more than 375 film executives.
-HollywoodReporter
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC/Global): Carey Mulligan, Alan Ritchson, Sleater-Kinney
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Timothée Chalamet, David Blaine, Dogstar
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jason Momoa, Robert Smigel
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Danielle Brooks, Alexander Stewart
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Crystal Kung Minkoff, Marysol Patton
• “The Daily Show” (COM): Guest Host Kal Penn
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): The cast of “The Color Purple,” including Fantasia Barrino, Danielle Brooks, and Taraji P. Henson
• “The Talk” (CBS): Dermot Mulroney, Deon Cole
• “Live With Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Fantasia Barrino
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Hannah Waddingham, Brie and Nikki Garcia, Katie Kadan
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): The stars of ““Fellow Travelers” including Matt Bomer, Jonathan Bailey, and Allison Williams
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): “Property Brothers” Drew and Jonathan Scott
• “The Amazing Race” (CBS): Season 35 finale. The final 3 teams travel to Seattle to compete in 3 challenges for the $1 million prize.
• “The Masked Singer” (Fox): Soundtrack to My Life
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): Rosie O’Donnell vs. Billy Porter
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ariana Grande – has released a “naughty version” of her 2014 holiday hit ‘Santa Tell Me’. In the original, she sings, “Oh, I wanna have him beside me, like oh-woo-oh/On the 25th, by that fireplace, oh-woo-oh.” In the new version, she turns up the heat with the words: “Oh, I wanna let him unwrap me, like oh-woo-oh/Get on top of him, by that fireplace, oh-woo-oh.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/pcyjs74m
• Nicki Minaj – Days after releasing her latest album “Pink Friday 2”, she announced dates for a world tour. Kicking off March 1 in Oakland CA, the 3-month outing will see her perform in arenas across the US and Europe. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/bdfkv3m3
• Slipknot – has announced the first dates of its 25th anniversary tour. 11 performances in Europe and the UK are scheduled so far, plus 3 US festivals. The trek will launch on Dec. 5 in Netherlands, wrapping up on Dec. 20 in London. Prior to the announcement, the band posted a video teaser featuring footage from the late ’90s, captioned, “Here Comes the Pain…” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2cvp8vh3
• The Who — Pete Townshend admits he isn’t sure what’s next for the legendary band. He said that their run of shows over the summer, backed by a full orchestra, seems like the “end of an era”. But he’ll have a conversation with singer Roger Daltrey about what “what is feasible, what would be lucrative, what would be fun?” He has also been working on a new rock opera.
• Chris Janson – CMT has announced “CMT Crossroads: Bret Michaels & Chris Janson” will premiere on Dec. 20. The show features Janson and the Poison frontman dueting on each other’s songs, including Poison’s ‘Every Rose Has Its Thorn’ and Janson’s hits ‘Fix a Drink’, ‘Good Vibes’ and ‘Buy Me A Boat’. Janson says that Poison’s ‘Talk Dirty To Me’ was one of the first songs that he learned to play on guitar,
• Dan + Shay — Dan Smyers is selling his stunning mansion in Nashville for $3.6 million. The 5-bedroom, 6-bathroom, 5,365-square-foot home sits on an acre in the high-dollar Brentwood area. Amenities include: A saltwater pool and hot tub, full home automation, front and back irrigation – and a home recording studio. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2jettx75
• Lainey Wilson and HARDY – wrapped up their “mockingbird & THE CROW Tour” with a gift exchange. Wilson’s Instagram carousel features a video of her surprising HARDY with a guitar he’d been wanting. He reciprocated with a card and gift to Blackberry Farm, which left her emotional. Lainey captioned her post: “@hardy we will talk about this tour the rest of our lives.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2p97bzf9
SHOOTING THE BULL
FEELING YOUR “PRESENTS”:
A major UK retailer has a solution for those who have no idea what to buy someone on their Christmas list. Online gift shop “Not On The High Street” has recruited a psychic for the season, who claims to be able to accurately reveal the perfect gift for those who seem impossible to buy for. In her newly created role of “head of gifting insights,” renowned clairvoyant Inbaal Honigman is providing personalized readings for shoppers in need of help. To take advantage of the TV astrologer’s services, customers need to answer 4 questions on the retailer’s website about the person they’re struggling to buy for. The service was launched after a study found 45% of adults suffer from ‘holi-dread’ – that’s anxiety over what gifts to buy.
(I don’t think even a psychic could find a gift my mother-in-law would like. But at least I’d have someone else to blame it on!)
(I don’t suffer from “holi-dread’. But I do occasionally experience “season’s defeatings”!)
-SWNS
SCAN DOCTOR:
The latest breakthrough in AI just might change medical systems worldwide. A company says it is set to roll out “the world’s first AI doctor’s office” in some US cities next year. “CarePod” is a self-service cube where patients can be screened for issues relevant to diabetes, hypertension, and depression and anxiety, according to its maker, Forward. The high-tech health stops will be installed in malls, gyms and offices. Scan results will be integrated into a program called Health Apps. Memberships are priced at $99 per month. The CarePod can also draw blood using “no needle, no knife”, and future plans include scanning for advanced cancers and prenatal care – plus testing for risks of certain illnesses. The first 3 CarePods will be installed in Sacramento, California, Chandler, Arizona, and Chicago. LINK: https://youtu.be/yy3WyaaJBPo
(They plan to put those things in gyms? Mt fitness center can’t keep the vending machines working properly, and they want to scan me for cancer??)
(Great idea! But on the other hand, remember that study that came out last week about AI giving bad advice on medical questions?)
-NYPost
YULE BE UP EARLY:
If there’s one thing parents of young kids can count on, it’s that they won’t be sleeping in on Christmas morning. But what time does the average child get up on December 25? We’ve got the results of a new survey – and they might surprise you. 2,000 parents were polled and it was determined that the overall average wake-up time on Christmas morning is 6:44am. And no surprise here: Parents of younger children (aged 2-6) will be up earliest – with most wide awake by 6:45am. Parents of teens get some relief. Teenagers are the least likely to be up before their parents, with just 15% moving before 7am. Parents also shared their tricks and tips for encouraging excited children to go to bed on Christmas Eve. One in 5 said they’ll cut off sugary treats a few hours before bed. 22% will limit the amount of time the kids spend on their devices, and 1 in 6 said they’ll put on a boring Christmas movie to help everyone calm down. Extreme measures employed by some parents include warning the kids that “Santa won’t come if you’re still awake”, and telling them they will end up on Santa’s “Naughty List” if they don’t go to bed.
(I seem to remember our kids waking up Christmas morning just as the last present was wrapped!)
(And once again, my kids are below average. And by that, I mean that while other kids get up at 7, mine get up at 5!)
-HuffPost
WORST ROCK VERSIONS OF CHRISTMAS SONGS:
(According to the team at Ultimate Classic Rock…)
1. ‘Fairytale of New York’ – Bon Jovi (You Give Christmas Songs a Bad Name…)
2. ‘Happy Christmas [War Is Over]’ (Some songs should remain ‘uncovered’.)
3. ‘Jingle Bells’ – Korn (If that one-horse open sleigh had been pulled by the devil himself, it’d probably sound like this…)
4. ‘O Holy Night’ – Tiny Tim (Not really rock – but still should be on this list, simply because of how bad it is!)
5. ‘Frosty the Snowman’ – Steve Kudlow, Bumblefoot, Chris Chaney & Kenny Aronoff (Someone should have hollered “STOP!” when they were recording this!)
6. ‘White Christmas’ – Iggy Pop (Bing – Iggy…What’s the difference?)
7. ‘Back Door Santa’ – Bon Jovi (The guy has done 8 Christmas songs in his career – and 2 are on this list!)
8. ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ – Twisted Sister (Or possibly that was Dee Snider kissing him…!)
9. ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing’ – Weezer (There’s probably a reason you’ve never heard this!)
10. ‘Must Be Santa’ – Bob Dylan (They’re definitely not wrong with this one!)
-UCR
DID YOU KNOW?
Dietitians have long advised that one of the first rules of weight loss is to eat slowly, allowing your body time to feel full before eating more. But if you’re one of those who struggles to savor a meal, try this: A new study from the Netherlands found that people eat up to half as fast when they have to chew more, leading to about 20% less food consumption. This means that foods with hard, crunchy or chewy textures, which require more chewing, could facilitate weight loss by preventing you from eating too much at once. (Anyone got some crunchy cake they’re not eating?)
-NYPost
BS CHRONOMETER 12.13.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Hot Cocoa Day”, because there’s nothing like a steaming mug of the stuff on a bitter cold December day. (BS FUN FACT: Although the term is used interchangeably with ‘Hot Chocolate’ by many, Hot Cocoa has a thinner consistency and tends to be creamier and sweeter, because of its additives. True Hot Chocolate is much richer and denser, and can have bittersweet notes.)
• “Violin Day”, so pick up your Stradivarius and let’s make some sweet music together.
• “St Lucy’s Day”, a festival of lights celebrated in Sweden, Norway, and the Swedish-speaking areas of Finland in honor of St. Lucia (St. Lucy). One of the earliest Christian martyrs, she was killed by the Romans in 304 CE. Legend has it that, in order to follow a life of religious devotion, she cut out her eyes and sent them on a plate to a persistent lover who was haunted by them (especially afterward!)
• “National Day of the Horse”, encouraging us to be mindful of the contribution of horses to history, the economy and to the character of the places they inhabit (of course, of course…).
• “Ice Cream Day”, it’s so good that there are multiple holidays dedicated to it. Most of them take place in summer, but this one is in December! A few fun facts …
– Perhaps surprisingly, the most popular flavor is vanilla, usually snagging about 26% of total sales. Chocolate comes in a distant 2nd, with about 13% of the market.
– One of the major ingredients in ice cream is air. Without it, the stuff would be as hard as a rock.
– Among the most unusual flavors ever concocted are avocado, garlic, azuki bean, jalapeno, and pumpkin. Perhaps the weirdest of all – dill pickle ice cream – was once targeted at expectant mothers. Sales were disappointing.
– 1 out of every 5 ice cream eaters has shared their treat with a pet dog or cat.
– The largest ice cream sundae in history was made by Palm Dairies in Edmonton AB on July 24, 1988. It weighed in at over 24 tons.
– It takes an average of 50 licks to polish off a typical single-scoop ice cream cone.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Biscuits and Gravy Day
[Thurs] Roast Chestnuts Day
[Fri] Ugly Christmas Sweater Day
[Sat] Chocolate Covered Anything Day
This Month is…Read a New Book Month
This Month is…Write a Friend Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1925 [98] Dick Van Dyke, West Plains MO, TV actor (“The Dick Van Dyke Show” 1961-1966)/movie actor (“Mary Poppins”, “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”, “Night at the Museum” movies) COMING UP… “Dick Van Dyke 98 Years of Magic”, Dec. 21 on Paramount+
1948 [75] Ted Nugent, Redford MI, rock singer/guitarist (‘Cat Scratch Fever’, w/Damn Yankees-‘High Enough’)
1949 [74] Randy Owen, Fort Payne AL, country singer (Alabama-‘Mountain Music’, ‘Forever’s as Far as I’ll Go’)
1954 [69] John Anderson, Apopka FL, country singer-songwriter (‘Straight Tequila Night’, ‘Money in the Bank’)
1957 [66] Steve Buscemi, Brooklyn NY, TV actor (“Boardwalk Empire” 2010-15, “The Sopranos” 2004-05)/movie actor (“Reservoir Dogs”, “Fargo”)
1967 [56] Jamie Foxx (Eric Bishop), Terrell TX, movie actor (Oscar-“Ray”, “Django Unchained”)/TV host (“Beat Shazam” since 2017)/R&B singer (f/T-Pain-‘Blame It’, f/Ludacris-‘Unpredictable’) COMING UP…“Back in Action”
1975 [48] Tom DeLonge, Poway CA, rock singer (Blink 182-‘All the Small Things’, ‘I Miss You’, Angels & Airwaves-‘Everything’s Magic’)
1981 [42] Amy Lee, Riverside CA, rock singer (Evanescence-‘Call Me When You’re Sober’, ‘Bring Me To Life’)
1989 [34] Taylor Swift, Reading PA, pop singer (‘You Need to Calm Down’, ‘Shake It Off’)
1995 [28] Emma Corrin, England, TV actress (‘Princess Diana’ in “The Crown” 2020) COMING UP… “Deadpool 3”, 2024
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [19] Dick Clark bows out from hosting his annual TV event, “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” due to complications from a recent stroke (he dies in 2012). Regis Philbin is named as stand-in
2016 [07] Alan Thicke suffers an aortic dissection while playing hockey and dies shortly after, at age 69
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2012 [11] Police bust a bizarre murder plot by a team of 3 hitmen in Albuquerque NM, targeting Justin Bieber
2013 [10] Beyoncé’s self-titled album is released with no advance notice, sending radio stations scrambling to get its songs on-air (it sells over 600,000 digital copies in 3 days and debuts at #1)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2010 [13] In China, a 2,400-year-old pot of soup is discovered near the ancient capital of Xi’an (“It’s almost ready…”)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The higher a woman’s heels are, the more power she has over men, according to a study.
✓ The sun is white, not yellow.
✓ Contrary to popular belief, lightning travels from the ground upward, not from the sky downward.
✓ An elephant’s tooth can weigh as much as 12 pounds.
✓ Lying children tend to grow up to be more successful.
✓ If you take a plant with you on a long airplane flight, it, too, will suffer from jet lag.
-WhattheFFacts, BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
BS MODERNIZE A CAROL:
• “We Tweet You a Merry Christmas”
• “Pimp the Hallz”
• “I Saw Mommy Kissing Mrs. Claus”
• “Angels We Have Heard While High”
• “Joy To the World Wide Web”
• “Groot King Wenceslas”
• “Deck the Halls With Boughs of Pre-lit Holly Made From Durable Poly-carbon Fiber and Powered by 3 Lithium Batteries. Also Comes With an Alternate USB Plug for Power – fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la”
• “We Three Queens”
• “Have Yourself a Merry Little Holiday”
• “Silent Meh”
• “Baby, It’s Cold Outside. Too Bad You Gotta Go, Before I Get Accused of Something”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Shohei Ohtani signed a 10-year $700 million dollar contract with the Los Angeles Dodgers. (He’s making so much money, Wall Street bankers have started camping out on his lawn to protest!)
➠ French coffee houses will now charge more to customers who are rude and ill-mannered. (Or, as they’re otherwise known in France, “customers.”)
➠ A survey found that women spend over 13 hours looking for the perfect gift for their mate — while men spend only 4 hours. (Wait a second, MY WIFE — overthinking something? Now I’ve heard everything…)
➠ 62% of teens surveyed want a smartphone for Christmas. (The other 38% want world peace . . . just kidding. They want an Xbox.)
➠ A survey found that 3:18 P.M. on Christmas Day is the peak time for family fights. (Which is why, by drinking early in the day and passing out by noon, I’m known as the “Peacemaker” in my family!)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Clark Griswold lives! https://tinyurl.com/bdzax72u
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m not lazy. I’m highly motivated to do nothing.
TRUTH OR BS:
• The cheetah is the fastest animal on the planet. [BS. It is the fastest land animal. The peregrine falcon is the fastest member of the animal kingdom, with a diving speed of over 300 km/h (190 mph).]
• Soda pop is the most popular beverage on the planet. [BS. Water is.]
• Water boils at 100 degrees Celsius. [True. That’s 212 degrees Fahrenheit.]
• A human brain is the organ with the most fat. [True. About 60 percent of it is composed of fat.]
• An average human head weighs about 20 pounds (9.1kg). [BS. More like 11 pounds (5kg).]
• Butterflies taste things with their wings. [BS. Butterflies taste with their feet.]
• Colorblind people can see color. [True. Generally, they are able to detect narrow ranges of color.]
-Parade
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is your least favorite holiday side dish?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 35% of us agree: THIS Christmas tradition is one that no one does anymore. What is it?
Answer: Roasting chestnuts on an open fire
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Good things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.