Friday, December 13, 2024 – Edition: #7856

Sheet Happens!

 

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ It’s popes vs. witches. “Conclave” and “Wicked” both received 11 nominations for the the 30th annual Critics Choice Awards, announced Thursday morning. That put the 2 very different films in first place among nominees, followed by “Dune: Part II” and “Emilia Pérez” with 10 each. All 4 of the top nominees earned Best Picture nods, as did “A Complete Unknown, “Anora,” “The Brutalist,” “Nickel Boys,” “Sing Sing” and “The Substance.” Directors of the top 4 were also nominated. “The Brutalist” and “Anora” received 9 and 7 nods, respectively. The Critics Choice Awards will air live on E! on Sunday, January 12.
-TheWrap
★ Dick Van Dyke revealed on the “Today” show that his neighbors saved him while he was struggling to evacuate his home during the wildfire that raged across Malibu this week, burning more than 2,600 acres, and causing widespread evacuations and power cutoffs. Van Dyke fled his home just ahead of his 99th birthday today. The “Mary Poppins” star said: “It was coming from the hill, you could see it.” He was crawling to his car, but was “exhausted” and “couldn’t get up.” Thankfully, he said, “Three neighbors came and carried me out and came back and put out a little fire in the guest house and saved me.”
-Variety
★ Austin Butler is set to star in Luca Guadagnino‘s new interpretation of the book “American Psycho”. While there had been rumors that Jacob Elordi was being eyed to play ‘Patrick Bateman’, that didn’t come to pass. And ironically, Elordi and Butler have something in common, having both played different versions of Elvis, in the movies “Priscilla” and “Elvis”. The new American Psycho film will not be a remake of the 2000 film starring Christian Bale, but a new adaptation of the Brett Easton Ellis novel.
-Variety
★ Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco are engaged. She made the announcement on Instagram Wednesday night. The “Emilia Pérez” star captioned a carousel of photos showing off her diamond sparkler with the words “forever begins now.” Blanco, a music producer, commented on her post: “hey wait… that’s my wife.” She sparked engagement rumors in August when she posted a photo of herself in front of a mirror, with 2 very strategic hearts over her left ring finger. They have been dating for a little more than a year. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yc2r56yj
-PageSix
★ Peacock will premiere the 4-part docuseries “SNL50: Beyond Saturday Night” on Jan 16, a month before the big 50th anniversary primetime special for the late-night show. The SNL documentary series will feature over 60 contributors, including SNL alumni, who will cover decades of the show’s history. A press release says: SNL50: Beyond Saturday Night will give viewers “a behind-the-scenes look at some of the most iconic hallmarks of the American late night comedy institution. Each episode will provide brand-new insights into what was going on behind the scenes in the writer’s room and will also include footage from the show’s audition process.”
-TheWrap

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC/Global): Kerry Washington, Jimmy O. Yang, The Red Clay Strays (R)
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Angelina Jolie, Sebastian Stan, Andrew Ridgeley, Laura Peek (R)
• “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Mark Harmon, Caitlin Weierhauser
• “After Midnight” (CBS/Global): Milana Vayntrub, Jessica Lowe, Jason Ritter (R)
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Kristin Chenoweth, Jimmy O. Yang (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Lisa Kudrow
• “The Talk” (CBS): Tom Selleck and Donnie Wahlberg, Tammy Pescatelli
• “Live With Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Jimmy Fallon
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Eddie Redmayne, “Queer Eye” fab 5
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Christian Slater and Sarah Michelle Gellar, Danny Pellegrino
• “The Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Lucky Daye
• “Blue Bloods” (CBS): Season 14 finale. The Reagan family races to stop deadly mayhem in the city when gangs unite to demand amnesty for the release of their imprisoned members.
• “Happy’s Place” (NBC): When Bobbie catches Isabella doing a slow-fade breakup with her long-distance boyfriend, she convinces her to send a Dear John letter.
• “Shark Tank” (ABC): The Tank is transformed into a winter wonderland, and entrepreneurs present Sharks with business opportunities that celebrate the holiday season.
SATURDAY:
• “Nugget Is Dead? A Christmas Story” (CBS): When her dog gets sick during Christmastime, Steph must abandon her holiday plans and return to her small Australian hometown.
• “Heisman Trophy Ceremony” (ESPN): The 90th ceremony, honoring college football’s most outstanding player, live from New York City.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Chris Rock; Gracie Abrams performs
SUNDAY:
• “The Simpsons” (Fox): After a fight in an escape room, Krusty’s aunt fixes Homer’s relationship with Patty and Selma.
• “NFL Football” (NBC, TSN): Green Bay Packers @ Seattle Seahawks
• “An Evening With Dua Lipa” (CBS): She performs her greatest hits, accompanied by the 53-piece orchestra, a 14-strong choir and her 7-piece band; with guest Elton John.
• “Yellowstone” (PAR): Season 5 finale. As the Duttons and the Yellowstone cowboys lay John to rest, the fate of the ranch is revealed.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift, Beyoncé and Rihanna – All 3 are listed in Forbes’ year-end ‘most powerful women’ ranking. At #23, Swift is the highest-placing musician on the list. Bey is #35, and Ri-Ri is #76.
• Ed Sheeran – has his next era all figured out. He told Variety that his next album is finished and he has already filmed 2 music videos. As for what fans can expect, “It feels like I’m getting back into big pop for the first time in a long time. It’s quite exciting.”
• The Beatles – Director Ridley Scott seems to have let it slip that the rumors are true that Paul McCartney will be played by Paul Mescal in the upcoming 4-part biopic of the group’s members, from Sam Mendes. Scott was asked if Mescal, who stars in “Gladiator II”, would appear in his next film. He answered that Mescal is “doing the Beatles next. So I may have to let him go.”
• ZZ Top – has add a coast to coast Canadian run to their “Elevation” tour, with special guests The Wallflowers. They will play 15 cities across 8 provinces next summer, starting June 1 in Victoria BC, and ending Aug. 23 in Richmond BC. Tickets go on sale today. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y36cd9jv
• Elton John – has been named Time’s Icon of the Year for 2024. On Instagram, he responded: “What an honour! … This accolade is a personal milestone and a reminder to the world that being yourself is truly iconic.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5aa3czy6
• Toby Keith – His 2003 hit ‘I Love This Bar’ came in at #4 on the Most-Played Songs on Digital Jukeboxes for 2024, Billboard reports. The late country legend’s classic song was only exceeded in plays by newer hits like Shaboozey’s ‘A Bar Song (Tipsy)‘ (#1), Chris Stapleton’s ‘Tennessee Whiskey’ (#2), and Teddy Swims’ ‘Lose Control’ (#3).
• Blake Shelton – will co-produce a new documentary about the late Keith Whitley. Shelton said that he and wife Gwen Stefani “love to watch documentaries, and I looked for his doc one night and couldn’t believe that there wasn’t one.” His Lucky Horseshoe Productions is partnering with Anomaly Content & Entertainment to create the film, which will begin shooting next month.
• Luke Combs – On Instagram Stories, she shared a screenshot of their family’s new Elf on the Shelf. In her posts, she joked that her husband won’t be thrilled when he sees all the care and maintenance that an Elf on the Shelf requires, and later wrote: “In other news…it’s happening.”

SHOOTING THE BULL

NEW MOVIES THIS WEEK:
• “Kraven the Hunter” (R, Action/Fantasy): Kraven’s complex relationship with his ruthless father, Nikolai Kravinoff, starts him down a path of vengeance with brutal consequences, motivating him to become the greatest hunter in the world, and one of its most feared. (Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Russell Crowe, Ariana DeBose) Tomatometer: 11%
• “The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim” (PG-13, Animation/Adventure): A sudden attack by Wulf, a ruthless Dunlending lord seeking vengeance for the death of his father, forces Helm Hammerhand, the King of Rohan, and his people to make a daring last stand. (Brian Cox, Miranda Otto, Shaun Dooley) Tomatometer: 59%

“TIMELY” ADVICE:
If you get stressed out at this time of year with the task of finding the right gift for everyone on your list – and then having to make sure it is nicely wrapped and delivered on time, take heart: New research says that gift-givers overestimate the negative consequences of sending a late gift. Why? In a series of studies that will soon be published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, it was concluded that when people give presents, they pay more attention to “norms” of gifting than the recipients do. For example, earlier research has found that people tend to be reluctant to give “used” things as presents because there’s a norm that gifts should be new. But in reality, many people are good with receiving used things. The new research found that this concept also applies to beliefs about the importance of timing. Many people worry that a late gift signals that they don’t care about the recipient – and that their relationship will be affected as a result. But in reality, these fears are largely unfounded – and gift recipients are much less worried about when the gift arrives.
(Awesome. After-Christmas sales, here I come!)
(People are OK with not paying attention to the “norms” of gift giving? Great! This SOOO gets me off the hook with my, ummm, shall we say…’unorthodox’ style of wrapping!)
-StudyFinds

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ Officials in Bend, Oregon are asking people to stop attaching googly eyes to the city’s sculptures, despite support for the whimsical practice from some locals. The city said on Instagram that the oversized plastic eyes attached to 8 public art installations by unknown pranksters is an expense to the city. The post reads: “While the googly eyes placed on the various art pieces around town might give you a chuckle, it costs money to remove them with care to not damage the art. While we don’t condone the wreaths, leis and Santa hats, let’s stay away from adhesives, graffiti and all things that can damage the art.” A city spokesperson said the adhesives that keep the eyes in place can damage the coating of the metal, and the municipality has already spent over $1,500 removing googly eyes from sculptures. (Well, maybe if they were sculpted accurately in the first place…) LINK (You’ve gotta see ‘em…): https://tinyurl.com/3xxnb7f4
➢ Some parents are seeing red over a Santa dressed in green. As part of a “holiday partnership” with the “Wicked” movie, “Santaland” at New York’s flagship Bloomingdale’s store is looking more Emerald City than the North Pole. In addition to pink Christmas trees and wand lollipops instead of candy canes, jolly old St. Nick wears a green – instead of his traditional red – suit, with elaborate gold details. A disillusioned mom wrote in a local Facebook group: “Bloomingdale’s is only offering green Santa. We left a bit disappointed without a photo.” Another mother told local media: “There’s no reason to have a green Santa except to promote a movie in an already overly commercialized holiday. Green Santa is stupid … Hard pass.” Kids are also struggling with the change. Over the weekend at “Wicked” Santaland, an emerald elf admitted that some babies take one look at Santa and start crying, explaining: “I think it’s because he’s green.” (Thank God they didn’t do a “Barbie” themed Pink Santa last year!)
-UPI, NYPost

TIKTOK’S TOP TRENDS OF 2024:
☞ Baby Animals: People around the world were captivated by the emergence of 2 popular baby animals: Moo Deng the hippo and Pesto the Penguin. Both gained their claims to fame at only a few months old. (And people want to ban TikTok, and make us miss all that cuteness?)
☞ “Very demure, very mindful”: Jools Lebron exploded on social media, with over 54 million views, after reminding everyone why they should be “very demure, very mindful.” It was so infectious that Dictionary.com named it Word of the Year.
☞ Cucumber dishes: Logan Moffitt, a Canadian food influencer known as the “cucumber guy”, experienced tremendous popularity with his cucumber recipes. His most viral vid, where he makes his version of a creamy cucumber California roll, amassed 43 million views, and caused stores to experience cucumber shortages. (43 million people watched a cucumber recipe video? OK, go ahead and ban TikTok!)
-NYPost

FUNNIEST TWEETS OF THE WEEK FROM WOMEN:
⇒ They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat – Thee Aries
⇒ When you in the top 0.001% of listeners you should be able to go to the artist’s house – miss bae
⇒ i was gonna stay out of the barry and sabrina discourse but i think now is a funny time to mention i saw them at tompkins square bagels once and she paid for him – bailey moon
⇒ Do you ever find yourself in situations at work where you think I am not old enough to be involved in these kinds of problems? I am just a 26 year old teenage girl — Natalie
⇒ your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually — Mariam
⇒ having anxiety is so stupid like what do u mean i’m scared of hanging out with my friends — niahdx
⇒ always very funny to me when people get all dressed up for thanksgiving. you’re going to stand around your nana’s house do we really need to be doing business casual here – ellie schnitt
⇒ bring back men that yearn for women. i need a love letter delivered by a pigeon — Em
⇒ craziest part of growing up ginger was defending the concept of a soul to my fellow eleven yr olds. just arguing about the domain of ensouled beings according to presocratic thinking until the bell said recess was over — meredith
-HuffPost

DID YOU KNOW?
Researchers at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology say they have found the recipe for success. In their quest to determine which personality traits are needed to become good at something, having a positive attitude came in at the top. It’s long story, but those with a positive attitude have what the researchers call a “growth mindset,” meaning they believe intelligence and skills can be developed through hard work, dedication and effort — and see obstacles as opportunities to grow and improve. On the other hand, a “fixed mindset” means that you believe intelligence, talents and personality cannot change — regardless of effort. These people tend to avoid challenges, give up when something is hard, and take constructive criticism as a personal attack. People who believe they will succeed are far more passionate and have greater willpower than those who do not have a positive attitude. (What if I’m absolutely positive that I will not succeed?)
-NYPost

BS CHRONOMETER 12.13.24

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Friday the 13th”, a bad day for those who suffer ‘triskaidekaphobia’ – fear of number 13, or ‘paraskevidekatriaphobia’ — fear of Friday the 13th. Every year has at least 1, but never more than 3. (By the way, the 1940 bombing of Buckingham Palace and the 1996 death of Tupac Shakur each occurred on a Friday the 13th…)
• “Hot Cocoa Day”, because there’s nothing like a steaming mug of the stuff on a bitter cold December day. (BS FUN FACT: Although the term is used interchangeably with ‘Hot Chocolate’ by many, Hot Cocoa has a thinner consistency and tends to be creamier and sweeter, because of its additives. True Hot Chocolate is much richer and denser, and can have bittersweet notes.)
• “Salesperson’s Day”, honoring those gifted and creative individuals whose big kick in life is persuading others to spend a buck. (We were going to buy lunch for the station sales team, but it seems they’ve already left for the day…)
• “Lost & Found Day”, the 13th annual, encouraging us to give one last effort to find whatever it is we have lost. (Our minds?)
• “Violin Day”, so pick up your Stradivarius and let’s make some sweet music together.
• “St Lucy’s Day”, a festival of lights celebrated in Sweden, Norway, and the Swedish-speaking areas of Finland in honor of St. Lucia (St. Lucy). One of the earliest Christian martyrs, she was killed by the Romans in 304 CE. Legend has it that, in order to follow a life of religious devotion, she cut out her eyes and sent them on a plate to a persistent lover who was haunted by them (especially afterward!)
• “National Day of the Horse”, encouraging us to be mindful of the contribution of horses to history, the economy and to the character of the places they inhabit (of course, of course…).
• “Ice Cream Day”. It’s so good that there are multiple holidays dedicated to it. Most of them take place in summer, but this one is in December! A few fun facts …
– Perhaps surprisingly, the most popular flavor is vanilla, usually snagging about 26% of total sales. Chocolate comes in a distant 2nd, with about 13% of the market.
– One of the major ingredients in ice cream is air. Without it, the stuff would be as hard as a rock.
– Among the most unusual flavors ever concocted are avocado, garlic, azuki bean, jalapeno, and pumpkin. Perhaps the weirdest of all – dill pickle ice cream – was once targeted at expectant mothers. Sales were disappointing.
– 1 out of every 5 ice cream eaters has shared their treat with a pet dog or cat.
– The largest ice cream sundae in history was made by Palm Dairies in Edmonton AB on July 24, 1988. It weighed in at over 24 tons.
– It takes an average of 50 licks to polish off a typical single-scoop ice cream cone.

SATURDAY:
• “Free Shipping Day”, another day dedicated to shopping. Today, thousands of online retailers, both large and small, offer free shipping and guarantee your items by Christmas Eve.
• “Bouillabaisse Day”, a day to throw some shellfish in a pot with some finely-chopped onion, celery, and tomato; a little white wine, a little MORE white wine; and a whole mess of garlic. Nummers, instant heaven!
• “International Monkey Day”, to raise awareness about monkey issues, monkeys in the news, and ways you can help monkeys — apes and other primates included (Did you know humans eat more bananas than monkeys? It’s true, although monkeys are more filling…!)
• “International Shareware Day”. Shareware is software that is shared as “try before you buy”. That includes programs, including Donkey Kong, WinZip, YouTube Downloader, antivirus programs, and Adobe Acrobat. When the trial period for shareware is over, the user either starts paying, or has to stop using the program. (That’s not sharing – that’s lending!)
• “Roast Chestnuts Day”, when we’re encouraged to actually do what we all sing about at this time of year: “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…”. They go great with a cup of hot chocolate!
• “Halcyon Days” begin, the 7 days before and the 7 days after the Winter Solstice that are traditionally thought to be a time of ‘calm and tranquility’. (Uh, maybe at YOUR house…)
• “Screwdriver Day”, and we’re not talking about the tool. It’s a day to celebrate the classic drink made with orange juice and vodka. (***Caution***) There are many variations, including: Harvey Wallbanger, Slow (Sloe) Screw, Slow Comfortable Screw, Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against The Wall, Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against The Wall Mexican Style, and Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against a Fuzzy Wall.

SUNDAY:
• “Cupcake Day”, for many years, cupcakes were known as “1-2-3-4 cakes” because of their recipe: 1 cup of butter, 2 cups of sugar, 3 cups of flour, 4 eggs, plus 1 cup of milk and 1 spoonful of baking soda. (And as you know, it’s impossible to be in a bad mood when you’re eating a cupcake!)
• “Underdog Day”, saluting the underdogs and the unsung heroes, the ‘Number Twos’ who contribute so much to the ‘Number Ones’ that we always hear about:  Sherlock Holmes’ Dr Watson, Captain Kirk’s Mr. Spock, Batman’s Robin, Simon’s Garfunkel, etc.
• “Cat Herders Day”, a day of sympathy for anyone who feels their job, or even their life, is like trying to herd cats. (Or making cats do anything else, for that matter…)
• “International Tea Day”, observed annually since 2005 in tea-producing countries like Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Vietnam, Indonesia, Kenya, Malawi, Malaysia, Uganda, India, and Tanzania. (Not Chai-land?)
• “Wear Your Pearls Day”, reminding us that when life throws dirt our way, we all have value in the end. The beautiful result of nature’s design, one irritating grain of sand can cause an iridescent pearl to form.
• “Bill of Rights Day”, on December 15, 1791, Virginia ratified the first 10 amendments of the Constitution (The Bill of Rights). With this, the amendments reached the requisite number of state ratifications necessary to become part of the US Constitution.

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1925 [99] Dick Van Dyke, West Plains MO, comedian/TV actor (“The Dick Van Dyke Show” 1961-1966)/movie actor (“Mary Poppins”, “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”, “Night at the Museum” movies)

1948 [76] Ted Nugent, Redford MI, rock singer/guitarist (‘Cat Scratch Fever’, w/Damn Yankees-‘High Enough’)

1949 [75] Randy Owen, Fort Payne AL, country singer (Alabama-‘Mountain Music’, ‘Forever’s as Far as I’ll Go’)

1954 [70] John Anderson, Apopka FL, country singer-songwriter (‘Straight Tequila Night’, ‘Money in the Bank’)

1957 [67] Steve Buscemi, Brooklyn NY, TV actor (“Boardwalk Empire” 2010-15, “The Sopranos” 2004-05)/movie actor (“Reservoir Dogs”, “Fargo”)

1967 [57] Jamie Foxx (Eric Bishop), Terrell TX, comedian/movie actor (Oscar-“Ray”, “Django Unchained”)/TV host (“Beat Shazam” since 2017)/R&B singer (f/T-Pain-‘Blame It’, f/Ludacris-‘Unpredictable’) COMING UP…“Back in Action” 2025

1967 [57] (Linnethia Monique) “NeNe” Leakes, Queens NY, reality TV star (“The Real Housewives of Atlanta” 2008-20, “Fashion Police” 2013-17)/TV actress (“Glee” 2012-15)

1975 [49] Tom DeLonge, Poway CA, rock singer (Blink 182-‘All the Small Things’, ‘I Miss You’, Angels & Airwaves-‘Everything’s Magic’)

1981 [43] Amy Lee, Riverside CA, rock singer (Evanescence-‘Call Me When You’re Sober’, ‘Bring Me To Life’)

1989 [35] Taylor Swift, Reading PA, pop singer/songwriter (‘You Need to Calm Down’, ‘Shake It Off’)

1995 [29] Emma Corrin, England, TV actor (‘Princess Diana’ in “The Crown” 2020)/movie actor (“Deadpool 3”) COMING UP… “Nosferatu” 2024

SATURDAY- Cliff Williams (AC/DC) is 75; Jackson Rathbone (“Twilight” movies) is 40; Vanessa Hudgens, (“High School Musical” movies) is 36; Tori Kelly (‘Should’ve Been Us’) is 32; Offset (Migos) is 33; Barbie Ferreira (“Euphoria”) is 28

SUNDAY- Dave Clark (‘Glad All Over’) is 85; Don Johnson (“Miami Vice”) is 75; Adam Brody (“The OC”) is 45; Michelle Dockery (“Downton Abbey”) is 43; Charlie Cox (“Daredevil”) is 42; Camilla Luddington (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 41; Alana Haim (Haim) is 33; Maude Apatow (“Euphoria”) is 27

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [20] Dick Clark bows out from hosting his annual TV event, “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” due to complications from a recent stroke (he dies in 2012). Regis Philbin is named as stand-in.

2016 [08] Alan Thicke suffers an aortic dissection while playing hockey and dies shortly after, at age 69.

2022 [02] Stephen “tWitch” Boss, a dancer, DJ, and producer known for his work on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”, takes his own life at age 40.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2012 [12] Police bust a bizarre murder plot by a team of 3 hitmen in Albuquerque NM, targeting Justin Bieber.

2013 [11] Beyoncé’s self-titled album is released with no advance notice, sending radio stations scrambling to get its songs on-air (it sells over 600,000 digital copies in 3 days, and debuts at #1).

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2010 [14] In China, a 2,400-year-old pot of soup is discovered near the ancient capital of Xi’an (“It’s almost ready…”).

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The higher a woman’s heels are, the more power she has over men, according to a study.
✓ Prior to 1900, prize fights lasted up to 100 rounds.
✓ The sun is white, not yellow.
✓ An elephant’s tooth can weigh as much as 12 pounds.
✓ Lying children tend to grow up to be more successful.
✓ Pageant Models often smear Vaseline on their teeth so their lips won’t stick when smiling.
-WhattheFFacts, BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .
BS WEIRD RESPONSES TO “I LOVE YOU”:
• “We have so much in common. I love me too.”
• “That’s just because you haven’t gotten to know me yet.”
• “Have we met?”
• “Pull my finger.”
• “I’m still not sleeping with you.”
• “Thank you.”
• “And Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii will always love youuuuuuuuuuuu.”
• “It’ll pass.”
• “For the third time, license and registration, please.”
• “New phone. Who ‘dis?”
• “Who doesn’t?”
• “Get away from my window!”
• “It’s another $50, if you want me to say it back.”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2017

TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Juan Soto has signed a 15-year $765 million-dollar contract with the New York Mets. (That makes him the only person at a Mets game who’ll be able to afford a beer and a hot dog!)
➠ Europe has sold over 500,000 hybrid cars this year. (I hope we don’t completely get rid of regular cars. After all, no more gas-powered cars would mean no more gas stations. And no more gas stations would mean no more last-minute places to gift shop on Christmas Eve!)
➠ A survey found that women spend over 13 hours looking for the perfect gift for their mate — while men spend only 4 hours. (Wait a second, MY WIFE — overthinking something? Now I’ve heard everything…)
➠ This year, mall Santas are reportedly trying to lower kids’ expectations, because of the bad economy. (Wow. You know it’s tough out there when a mall Santa thinks YOU’VE got it bad!)
➠ A survey found that 3:18pm on Christmas Day is the peak time for family fights. (Which is why, by drinking early in the day and passing out by noon, I’m known as the “Peacemaker” in my family!)

BS WEB GOODIE:
Caption says it all:  https://tinyurl.com/45u9htxt

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Just remember . . . there is no “we” in chocolate.

☎ BS PHONE STARTER:
What did you really want for Christmas when you were a kid, but never got?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Only 8% of people say they would appreciate receiving THIS for Christmas. What is it?
Answer:  A gag gift

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There are always flowers for those who want to see them.