WEEKEND BLOG BS:
• “London Fashion Week” is underway with over 51 women’s wear shows over 5 days. Yesterday actress Sienna Miller made her design debut, presenting fashions from the ‘Twenty8Twelve’ label she runs with her sister Savannah. (We wonder if she specializes in sleepwear … or maybe sleep-around-wear.)
– ContactMusic.com
• Mike Myers & Paris Hilton swept the 29th “Razzies” Saturday, the annual spoof awards for the year’s worst in film. Myers’ “Love Guru” picked up 3 dishonors including ‘Worst Picture’, ‘Worst Screenplay’ and ‘Worst Actor’. Hilton also raked in 3 nods for “The Hottie & the Nottie” and “Repo! The Genetic Opera”: ‘Worst Actress’, ‘Worst Supporting Actress’, and ‘Worst Screen Couple’. (Hard to believe, but somehow Pierce Brosnan’s singing in “Mamma Mia!” was ignored.)
– Sun Media
• At the annual “Independent Spirit Awards” Saturday in LA, 56-year-old actor Mickey Rourke added to his award stash for “The Wrestler” … and his reputation for absurdity. In a hilarious and rambling acceptance speech he dedicated the ‘Best Actor’ award to his pet Chihauhua Loki, who died last week; threatened to beat up comedian Rainn Wilson (“The Office”), who impersonated him in an earlier skit; forgot the name of his co-star, Marisa Tomei; and broke his microphone. (This guy’s a bad accident just waiting to happen.)
– “Entertainment Weekly”
• A secret romance is blossoming between “Slumdog Millionaire” actors Dev Patel & Freida Pinto, according to co-star Anil Kapoor. The pair play childhood sweethearts in the movie and their offscreen friendship has prompted rumors of a real life romance. 24-year-old Pinto is rumored to have ended her relationship with her fiancé earlier this month, thereby making way for her to date 18-year-old Patel. (They’re newcomers to the biz and they’re already acting so ‘Hollywood’.)
– “Hindustan Times”
• Entertainment mogul Harvey Weinstein is promising to broadcast the next season of his reality show “Project Runway” … even if it means airing it on radio. The 6th season remains in limbo as Bravo and the Lifetime network battle over rights. During an appearance on Ryan Seacrest’s LA radio show, Weinstein confirmed the entire season has been taped but nobody’s seen it yet. He then noted he owns radio rights free and clear and asked if Seacrest could ‘describe’ all 13 episodes. (Now there’s an idea for a bit that just might work.)
– StarPulse News Blog
• In his final edition of “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” Friday (NBC), O’Brien took a sledgehammer and ax to his stage set, giving fans souvenirs. Most of the final show after 16 years was spent airing highlights and telling stories with former sidekick Andy Richter, who left the show in 2000. O’Brien is heading to Los Angeles, where NBC-TV will fulfill a promise it made 5 years ago to make him “Tonight Show” host. That new gig begins in June when Jay Leno moves to primetime. (And Andy Richter moves back to obscurity.)
– HuffingtonPost.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Hour” (CBC) – George Stroumboulopoulos interviews former Audioslave frontman Chris Cornell.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Jonas Bros visit; Darius Rucker performs.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Jesse McCartney is the musical guest.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Country star Trace Adkins (“You’re Gonna Miss This”) is on.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Akon (“Right Now”) is onstage.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bon Jovi – 46-year-old Jon Bon Jovi says his receding hairline is making him paranoid about ending up bald. Someone told him to regularly massage the scalp to prevent hair loss, so he admits to doing that obsessively. (Stop! You’re rubbing it all out!)
• Clay Aiken – The former “American Idol” runner-up has reportedly been ditched by his record label RCA after his last album, “On My Way Here”, flopped. (‘Claymates’ weep!)
• 50 Cent – He has a 4th studio album and a hits compilation left on his label contract, which he says may be his final recordings. At the moment the rapper/wannabe movie star is looking for a movie project through his new production company that would team him onscreen with funnyman Martin Lawrence.
• Michael Jackson – Discussions are underway for him to perform a residency at London’s O2 Arena in July which could net him more than $7 million per show, or a total of over $210 million for 30 performances. His last major tour was in 1996. (We’re doubtful he could finish one performance at this point, let alone 30. He’s likely too paranoid about ‘losing face’.)
• Miley Cyrus – In her memoir “Miles to Go”, to be published next month by Disney, she says she’s bothered by people who think that she and her dad Billy Ray Cyrus are ‘too close or too cuddly’. She claims there’s nothing ‘weird’ about the relationship. (“Isn’t that right, daddy Ray honey?”)
• Pink – The “So What!” hitmaker appears in an upcoming PETA ad alongside UK comedian Ricky Gervais. He’s dressed as a rabbit, she’s an alligator.
• Rihanna – In her first public outing since ex-boyfriend Chris Brown allegedly attacked her 2 weeks ago, she’s been photographed in a car wearing sunglasses. In a released statement, she assures fans she remains strong, is doing well, and appreciates the outpouring of support she’s received.

SIZING UP CONSUMERS:
Do you know what a megapixel is or what horsepower actually measures? According to a recent study in the “Journal of Consumer Research”, today’s buyers are irresistibly drawn to product specifications, whether it be the ‘distortion rate’ of a music system or the calorie count in a snack … even when the numbers mean nothing to them. Given the chance to try competing products, the study shows most consumers are more likely to pick the item with impressive-sounding numbers, measurements, and/or features on the package. (This explains why you’re always bragging about your car’s ‘Dual-OverHead Camshaft’.)
– “The Atlantic”

YOU CAN JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS TITLE:
It’s time again to vote for the ‘Oddest Book Title Of the Year’ to be awarded by trade publication “The Bookseller”. This year’s shortlist includes the classics …
• “Baboon Metaphysics”
• “Curbside Consultation Of the Colon”
• “The Large Sieve & Its Applications”
• “Strip & Knit With Style”
• “Techniques for Corrosion Monitoring”
• “The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-milligram Containers of Fromage Frais”
Somehow these finalists beat out equally odd titles such as “All Dogs Have ADHD”, “Excrement In the Middle Ages“, and “The Industrial Vagina”. The first ever winner was “Proceedings Of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice” in 1978. Last year’s winner was “If You Want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs”.
NET: http://www.thebookseller.com
– “Curious Times”

ANOTHER REASON TO BUY BULK:
More and more consumers are said to be experiencing ‘packaging rage’, frustration with trying to open products due to safety caps, vacuum-sealed bags, etc. But is it a result of poor packaging or an aging population? A recent UK survey found that fully 71% of people over 50 have actually injured themselves while trying to get into a grocery product. (Ask listeners for examples of bad packaging and – on a positive note – innovative good packaging.)
– “The Australian”

TOP SINS BY SEX:
Women are prouder than men but men are more lustful, according to a new Vatican report that suggests the 2 genders sin differently. The new study has found that the most common sin for women is ‘pride’ while for men the urge for food (‘gluttony’) is only surpassed by ‘lust’, the urge for sex. The report is based on a study of confessions carried out by 95-year-old Jesuit scholar Father Roberto Busa and comes amid Vatican concerns about the declining rate of confessions. A recent poll of Catholics has found that nearly a third no longer consider confession necessary. (Especially if you’re gonna record it for later analysis!)
– BBC News

THE FEAR PILL?
A drug for heart disease has shown promise in treating emotional disorders by suppressing fear, according to a new study by Dutch researchers. The beta-blocker propranolol seems to interrupt the brain’s ability to recreate memories of a traumatic event according to tests conducted by University of Amsterdam psychologists in the Netherlands. The tests involved showing images of spiders and giving electrical shocks to 60 volunteers. (Ouch! Does Amnesty International know about this?)
– MSNBC

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Brad Pitt’s “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” has been banned in the restrained Asian country of Bhutan. The only other films to get this honor? Monty Python’s “Life Of Brian” (1979) and the horror epic “Cannibal Holocaust” (1980).
• An anagram of William Bradley Pitt is: ‘A Liberal Dimply Twit’.
– PopBitch.com

BS CHRONOMETER 02.23.09

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [60] Marc Garneau, Quebec City QC, Federal MP (Westmount-Ville-Marie)/Canada’s first astronaut (3 Space Shuttle missions 1984-2000)/President of Canadian Space Agency (2002-05)/Carleton University Chancellor since 2003

1952 [57] Brad Whitford, Winchester MA, rock guitarist (Aerosmith-“I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing”, “Crazy”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2001)

1965 [44] Michael Dell, Houston TX, founder & CEO of Dell Computer

1965 [44] Kristin Davis, Boulder CO, movie/TV actress (“Sex & The City”)

1972 [37] Steve Holy, Dallas TX, country singer (“Brand New Girlfriend”, “Good Morning Beautiful”)

1983 [26] Emily Blunt, London UK, movie actress (“Charlie Wilson’s War”, “The Devil Wears Prada”)

1994 [15] Dakota Fanning, Conyers GA, movie actress (“Push”, “The Secret Life of Bees”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Curling is Cool Day”, celebrating the Winter sport of curling … basically a drinking game with some housecleaning interspersed..

• “Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day”. A recent poll of pet owners finds that fully 34% of us have eaten dog food at one time or another, most likely just to see what it tastes like.

• “International Chili Day”, when we’re encouraged to enjoy a steaming bowl to ward off the cold of Winter. What’s your secret ingredient? How about Dante’s Inferno Sauce?

• “Rose Monday”, the Monday before Lent during the Christian observance of “Shrovetide”. In Iceland, it’s celebrated with the traditional “Bun Day”, when children invade homes with colorful sticks and receive gifts of whipped cream buns (the original ‘food fight’). Tomorrow, of course, is “Mardi Gras”, aka “Pancake Day”.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1996 [13] Actor Charlie Sheen divorces model Donna Peele; actress Halle Berry divorces Major League Baseball player David Justice

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1970 [39] Canada’s national music awards are first presented in Toronto (the ‘Juno Awards’ are originally called the ‘RPM Gold Leaf Awards’)

2000 [09] Carlos Santana ties “Grammy Awards” record by picking up 8 trophies for his multi-platinum album “Supernatural” and its first #1 single “Smooth”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1886 [123] World’s 1st ‘Classified Ad’ appears in “The Times of London”

1905 [104] 1st ‘Rotary Club International’ established in Chicago, so-named because members rotate through various duties (like Shriners, only without the funny hats)

1909 [100] 1st powered flight in Canada & the ‘British Empire’ (the “Silver Dart” in Baddeck NS)

1988 [21] “XV Winter Olympiad” opens in Calgary, the 1st winter games held in Canada

1997 [12] Scientists in Scotland announce the 1st successful cloning of an adult mammal, ‘Dolly’ the sheep

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1906 [103] 5-foot, 7-inch Canadian Tommy Burns (real name Noah Brusso of Hanover ON) defeats Marvin Hart in a 20-round bout in Los Angeles to become ‘Shortest-Ever World Heavyweight Boxing Champ’

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Shrove Tuesday
[Tues] Spay Day USA
[Tues]Flag Day (Mexico)
[Wed] Ash Wednesday
[Thurs] For Pete’s Sake Day
[Fri] Polar Bear Day
[Sat] Floral Design Day
[Sat] Tooth Fairy Day
[Sat] Repetitive Strain Injuries Awareness Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Cowboy Poetry Week / Crossword Puzzle Week / Eating Disorders Awareness Week / Pancake Week / Read Me Week / Telecommuter Appreciation Week

BULL’S BITS

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BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 15 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS EXCUSES FOR CALLING IN SICK ON A MONDAY:
• “My weekend ran a little longer than I expected.”
• “Look, it’s your call, either it’s sick leave or stress leave due to sexual harassment, I’ll let you decide.”
• “My stigmata is acting up.”
• “I’ve contracted flu that causes projectile vomiting but if you really need me to come in …”
• “Don’t we always get the Monday after the Academy Awards off?”
• “My dog ate my car keys … hasn’t pooped yet.”

BS PHONE STARTER:
Is late actor Heath Ledger a new generation’s James Dean, destined to become an iconic symbol, or will he be totally forgotten within 10 years?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Lots of animals kiss besides humans. Chimpanzees and bonobos also lock lips; foxes lick each other’s faces; and birds tap their bills together. How do elephants kiss?
a) They put their trunks in one another’s mouths. [CORRECT]
b) They rub tusks.
c) They hold tails.
– BBC News

• A perfect antidote to frizzy hair is to rub what all over your head?
a) Mayonnaise.
b) Fabric softener sheets. [CORRECT]
c) Super Glue.
– “Twist Magazine”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Duffy … wow, she really puts the plank in plankton, doesn’t she?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Monday is the most common day for THIS to happen to you … or for you to do it to someone else.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Break up.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Better the shoulder to the wheel than the back to the wall.