Wednesday, February 16, 2005        Edition: #2971
It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!!

SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
THIS MORNING “Canadian Idol” auditions hit Calgary’s Saddledome as they cross the country West to East hitting 13 cities in 13 weeks . . . Mark Burnett’s upcoming NBC-TV reality series “The Contender” will debut as scheduled MARCH 7th even though a 23-year-old contestant has committed suicide by shooting himself in the head in Philadelphia (well, guess we know who DOESN’T win then) . . . Among the famous who may be called as defense witnesses in the Michael Jackson trial are aging actress Elizabeth Taylor, illusionist David Blaine, “60 Minutes” journalist Ed Bradley, Backstreet Boy Nick Carter and – Kobe Bryant (what they couldn’t get Charlie Manson?) . . . Actress Nicole Kidman has reportedly dumped her movie producer boyfriend Steve Bing – because he doesn’t want to get married . . . Among the new additions to the latest edition of the “Dictionary of Women’s Biography” are actress Meryl Streep, “Harry Potter” author JK Rowling, US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, and – Yoko Ono (best known as a sheet disturber) . . . “Fear Factor” producer & stunt coordinator Perry Barndt says that a death or injury on the show is inevitable at some point, perhaps the reason insurance costs the show circa $100,000 per episode . . . The annual Barbara Walters hankie-fest special the night of the Oscars will feature interviews (and likely weeping) with “Desperate Housewives” actress Teri Hatcher, “Ray” star Jamie Foxx, and “Anchorman” comic Will Ferrell . . . George Clooney is denying reports that he’s been setting up his acting pal Brad Pitt with single women (apparently they were all married) . . . And maybe this explains things – the real reason actor Pierce Brosnan has been dropped from playing ‘James Bond’ is reportedly because he demanded – ouch! – $42 million to reprise the role.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Britney Spears – She now says she wants to raise her children in her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana.
• George Michael – TONIGHT a documentary about his life called “A Different Story” will be screened at Germany’s prestigious “Berlin Film Festival”. He’ll introduce the film in person.
• Kenny Chesney – TONIGHT he’s scheduled to perform on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien”.
• The Clash – Lead singer Joe Strummer, who died in 2002, has been honored in Bristol UK with a train named for him. ‘The Strummer’, a diesel locomotive built in 1965, follows a 200-year-old tradition of British trains being named after famous people.
• The Eagles – Their entire Asylum Records catalogue will be available MARCH 15th in a 9-disc “Eagles Box” that includes each of their 7 albums recorded from 1972-1980. The $130 package will be limited to 20,000 copies.
• John Mellencamp – His first North American tour in 3 years begins MARCH 23rd in Savannah GA. ‘60s recording star Donovan will be billed as a ‘Special Guest’.
• Madonna – TONIGHT she’s making a guest appearance on UPN’s reality show “The Road to Stardom with Missy Elliot”, offering professional advice to the 5 finalists.
• Sum 41 – TONIGHT they’re on NBC-TV’s “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.

BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Real Estate Refugees’ – People who move out of the city and into surrounding suburbs and towns so they can purchase a larger home on a bigger lot. (“They hardly ever go to the theater anymore now that they’re real estate refugees.”)
• ‘The Bing’ – Jail or prison. (“Handcuffed, roughed up, I’m tossed in the bing now …”)
• ‘Actorvist’ – An actor who is also an activist. (Actorvist Richard Gere has called for Tibetans to no longer wear fur while eating KFC heated with fossil fuels …)

THE MOOD PATCH:
A researcher at the UK’s University of Warwick has designed a scented patch to be worn on the wrist by women to boost flagging sexual desire. The ‘Scentuelle’ patch, invented by Dr George Dodd, increases libido by mimicking the effects of the feel-good chemical dopamine in the brain.
The patch contains a combination of hundreds of chemical molecules but, unlike the nicotine patch, they are not absorbed through the skin. Instead, the wearer must remember to sniff it every hour or so to ensure the concoction gets into the brain’s pleasure center. A pack of 30 costs about $40. (It seems the patch smells like money.)
– “Daily Mail”

WHY LOVE STINKS:
Indiana psychologist Patricia Sheehan, who has conducted extensive clinical research on the topic, says there are 5 basic fears about intimacy …
• Abandonment (“If I love you, you will leave me.”)
• Merger (“If I love you, I will lose myself or get off my own path.”)
• Exposure (“If you really knew me, you wouldn’t like me.”)
• Attack (“If I love you, you will hurt me.”)
• Attacking (“If I love you, I will hurt you.”)
(What about “If I love you, you’ll sue me for alimony and I’ll go broke”?)
– “Indianapolis Star”

THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH:
New research shows that seniors who frequently read, do crossword puzzles, practise on a musical instrument or play board games cut their risk of Alzheimer’s by nearly two-thirds. (Memorizing the ‘Early Bird’ dinner menu helps as well.)
– “New England Journal of Medicine”

PHONEY MUSIC:
Both Sony Ericsson and Nokia have announced they will soon market music-player mobiles that allow subscribers to load music from a PC onto their phones, much the same as a digital music player like iPod works. Unlike dedicated MP3 players, Nokia users will also be able to download tracks directly onto their handsets through the wireless phone network and transfer them to computer for storage or burning onto a CD. (Because we really need to be able to do everything on our cellphones, don’t we?)
– Canada.com / Canadian Press

BS TALES OF REVENGE:
• Two announcers from the UK’s Kerrang! Radio have been suspended and may face charges after breaking into their Program Director’s house, trashing it and spray-painting obscenities on the walls. All that we can understand but here’s the dumb part – they did it live on-air! In a burst of understatement DJ Tim Shaw admits, “We took it too far.” (Way farther than your career is likely to go, pal.)
• Before leaving on vacation, a couple from Itzehoe, Germany rigged up a sound system on a timer with a loudspeaker aimed directly at their annoying neighbors that blasted the sound of a crowing rooster early each morning between 2-and-4am. Police have confiscated the gear and charged the vacationers, who are still away on holiday. (Laughing their asses off.)

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 73% of those with ‘business’ e-mail accounts also use them to receive personal messages.
• 60% of men spit in public. And women?
• 49% of us sleep with 2 pillows.
• 40% of us admit we’ve been so mad we’ve hurled footwear at another person.
• 18% of us twist our Oreos apart before eating them.
• 25% of all ice cream orders are vanilla.
• 7% of us have flossed our teeth with our hair.

DID YOU KNOW?
• The forked peace symbol is actually a composite of the semaphore signals ‘N’ and ‘D’ representing ‘Nuclear Disarmament’.
• Just by recycling a single aluminum can, enough energy is saved to run a TV for 3 hours.
• A typical house cat spends 70% of its time sleeping.
• The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of lobsters is blue.

THE BULL SHEET 02.16.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1958 [47] Ice T (Tracy Morrow), Newark NJ, TV actor (‘Detective Fin Tutuola’ on “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” since 2000)/hip-hop artist known as ‘The Father of Gangsta Rap’ (“Cop Killer”)

1959 [46] John McEnroe, Wiesbaden Air Force Base, Germany, TV tennis analyst/Hall of Fame player ranked #1 for 4 years during the 1980s

1972 [33] Taylor Hawkins, Ft Worth TX, rock drummer (Foo Fighters since 1997-“Times Like These”, “All My Life”)/drummer for Alanis Morissette 1995-96

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Heart 2 Heart Day”, a day to confide in your diary. Start young and before you know it, you’ll have written a whole book! (Causing endless embarrassment when you’re older.)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1990 [15] 1st issue of “Entertainment Weekly” magazine (kd lang on the cover)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1994 [11] Apple introduces 1st ‘Digital Camera’ that allows uploads to computer

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1980 [25] ‘World’s Longest Traffic Jam’ extends 180 km (109 mi) from Paris to Lyons, France

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] “Survivor 10″ debuts on CBS-TV (Palau)
[Fri] Second Honeymoon Weekend
[Sat] Student Volunteer Day
[Sun] East Coast Music Awards (Sydney NS)
[Mon] Family Day (Alberta)
[Mon] Presidents’ Day
This Week Is … Heart Failure Awareness Week (wouldn’t you be SLIGHTLY aware if this was happening?)
This Month Is … International Expect Success Month (next month is ‘Admit It, You’re A Huge Failure Month’)

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS SIGNS SHE’S NOT THAT INTO YOU:
• She doesn’t laugh at your jokes.
• She often brings up other women.
• She won’t bend to your will.
• She keeps mentioning the ‘F-word’ … ‘Friend’.
• She hangs with other people when you’re out in public.
• She brings a 3rd wheel along on a date.
• She doesn’t lay a finger on you … ever.
• She always gushes over other men.
– AskMen.com

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
1. Mario – “Let Me Love You”
2. 50 Cent – “Candy Shop”
3. Nelly – “Over And Over”
4. Ciara f/Missy Elliott – “1, 2 Step”
5. Eminem – “Like Toy Soldiers”
– Big Champagne Online Music Measurement

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• I’ve got a dog that growls, a parrot that swears, a fireplace that smokes and a cat that stays out all night. Why would I want a husband?
• You can say whatever you want in this country. No one listens anyway.
• [Co-host] is so lonely he’s taken up jogging just so he can hear heavy breathing again.
• I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian.
• I went to school to become a wit … but I only made it halfway through.

BS PHONE STARTER:
The TV audience for this year’s “Grammy Awards” was off by 28%, the lowest in 10 years. Are there just too many awards shows for anyone to care who wins anymore?

BS Q & A:
Q: What was Pope Gregory the Great’s most famous papal decree?
A: It was he who decided some 1,400 years ago that the proper response to a sneeze is ‘God Bless You’.

Q: What’s the #1 ‘Chick Flick’ of all-time?
A: A survey of over 8,000 women says it’s “Dirty Dancing”.

ALL-TIME BEST MOVIE KISSES:
1. Clark Gable & Vivien Leigh in “Gone With the Wind”.
2. Omar Sharif & Julie Christie in “Doctor Zhivago”.
3. Humphrey Bogart & Ingrid Bergman at the end of “Casablanca”.
4. Humphrey Bogart & Audrey Hepburn in “Sabrina”.
5. Rock Hudson & Doris Day in “Pillow Talk”.
– “Us Weekly”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: By the age of 50, half of guys do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Snore.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Teamwork is a lot of people doing what the boss says.