Tuesday, February 19, 2008        Edition: #3714
Don’t Forget to Renew Your Subscription or You’ll Be Sheet Outta Luck!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
First “Rocky”, then “Rambo”, and now 61-year-old movie actor Sylvester Stallone is set to recycle another old character – rock climber ‘Gabe Walker’ from his 1993 film “Cliffhanger” (who’s now a fossil himself) . . . 30-second spots on ABC-TV’s FEBRUARY 24th telecast of the “Academy Awards” are fetching as much as $1.7 million apiece, a new record (live broadcasts are increasingly lucrative because viewers are less likely to digitally record them for later viewing – and skip the ads) . . . An association of Hollywood movie studios is suing a popular website in China for film piracy, seeking about $1 million for allowing the free download of hundreds of movies (it’s estimated piracy costs studios more than $2.7 BILLION a year in lost revenue – so why are they suing for a lousy million?) . . . APRIL 19th is being declared “Record Store Day”, when music retailers are encouraged to celebrate the culture & unique place they offer their local communities (now THERE’s an advertising lead for you!) . . . Movie actor Jim Carrey & his former ‘Playmate’ girlfriend Jenny McCarthy are allegedly expecting their 1st child together (he hasn’t had a lot else to do of late) . . . Joe Simpson, father/puppet-master of Dallas Cowboys nemesis Jessica Simpson, says he’s currently in talks with CMT about creating a reality TV series based on her attempt to record her first country album (can we take up a collection to put out a contract on this guy?) . . . ABC-TV’s “Lost” is shooting 5 more post-strike episodes and promises stuff will actually happen quickly as the storylines are condensed (oh good, no more time-lapse photography then) . . . And the wrestler formerly known as The Rock is now officially the actor known simply as Dwayne Johnson (which helps the credibility … but not the acting).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – Minneapolis-based artist Phil Hansen often carves her image into a mixture of frozen red & white wine using a soldering iron. Then, as part of his ‘Goodbye Art’ series, the sculpture is promptly melted down to symbolize her self-destructive streak. Deep, huh?
• Asia – The reunited early ‘80s group (“Heat Of the Moment”) has wrapped a new album, appropriately titled “Phoenix”, and plans to hit the road MARCH 1st in the UK before touring North America, Japan, and Europe.
• Avril Lavigne – She’s on the current cover of “Maxim” magazine, doing that ‘if I squeeze my boobs together they look bigger’ thing.
• Eminem – His publicist says he has no interest whatsoever in becoming a WWE wrestler. A rumor was being spread that he was just 4 months away from making his debut … likely by some guy named McMahon.
• Nelly Furtado – She may be “Promiscuous” but she’s apparently not pregnant. Her rep categorically denies recent reports saying the 29-year-old is expecting her 2nd child. It’s confirmed, however, that she’s still engaged to sound engineer Demacio ‘Demo’ Castellon.
• REM – They’ve launched a website offering aspiring videographers the chance to cobble together their own video for “Supernatural Superserious”, the 1st single from the band’s upcoming album, “Accelerate”.
• Rolling Stones – 64-year-old Mick Jagger is finally sounding his age by advising young musicians to live a healthy, drug-free lifestyle. These days he keeps himself impressively fit for a geezer by boxing, swimming, and running up to 8 miles a day.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The 12 females perform for the first time on the “Idol” stage. Contestant Carly Smithson, the former Dublin, Ireland native who’s made it to the semifinal again after having to bow out the first time (visa probs), is actually a professional singer who once recorded for MCA Records under her maiden name, Carly Hennessy. Hmm, is the fix in?
• “Last Call With Carson Daly (NBC): Hellogoodbye (“Here In Your Arms”) makes an appearance.
• “Late Show With David Letterman (CBS) – Former Kinks frontman Ray Davies performs.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Maroon 5 is featured.
• “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno (NBC) – The Hives are Jay’s musical guest.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Grammy-winning jazz musician Herbie Hancock drops by.
• White Stripes – They release their first Spanish-language single, a reworking of their song “Conquest” called “Conquista”. It’s being issued on both CD and 7-inch vinyl under the name ‘Las Rayas Blancas’, the Spanish translation of the White Stripes.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “American Gangster” ( Crime Drama ): Denzel Washington plays real-life 1970s Harlem drug lord Frank Lucas, who notoriously imported heroin in the coffins of dead soldiers returned from Vietnam. Russell Crowe plays the hard-nosed cop determined to bring him in. Nominated for 2 Oscars. Also available in a ‘2-Disc Unrated Extended Edition’ and a ‘3-Disc Collector’s Edition’.
• “In the Valley of Elah” ( Drama ): Tommy Lee Jones & Susan Sarandon play the parents of a missing soldier who has returned from Iraq and gone AWOL. Charlize Theron co-stars as a police detective who reluctantly agrees to help solve the mystery behind the son’s disappearance. Country star Tim McGraw has a small role. Directed by Paul Haggis (“Crash”).
• “Lust, Caution” ( War Drama ): Ang Lee (“Brokeback Mountain”) directs this WW2-era story set in Shanghai, where a female college student attempts to ensnare a Japanese collaborator in an affair so her cohorts can kill him. Stars Tang Wei & Joan Chen. Filmed in Malaysia & China.
• “Margot at the Wedding” ( Comedy ): Nicole Kidman stars as ‘Margot’, who shows up on the eve of the wedding of her estranged sister (Jennifer Jason Leigh) to a an unemployed musician-artist-depressive (Jack Black) to offer advice and her own brand of ‘support’.
• “Michael Clayton” ( Drama ): George Clooney stars as the ‘fixer’ who takes care of the dirty work for a major NYC law firm. He risks his career – and his life – on a class action suit that pits him against a rival litigator (Tilda Swinton). Premiered at the 2007 “Toronto International Film Festival”. Nominated for 7 Academy Awards, including ‘Best Picture’.
• “Rendition” ( Thriller ): Jake Gyllenhaal & Reese Witherspoon star in this story about a CIA Middle East analyst who begins to have doubts about his latest assignment after witnessing the interrogation of a suspect by the Egyptian secret police. Co-stars Alan Arkin & Meryl Streep.
• “Redacted” ( Drama ): The story of a US Army squad that targets and persecutes an innocent Iraqi girl and her family. The Brian De Palma film alternates points of view between the military, the media, and the Iraqi people. No name stars.
• Also released TODAY: “COPS: 20th Anniversary Edition” (TV); “Gangsters: The Ultimate Film Collection”; “Kurt Cobain: About a Son“ (Documentary); “Terror’s Advocate” (Documentary); and “Walker, Texas Ranger: The 4th Season” (TV).

WORST BS MOVIE ENDINGS IN HISTORY:
5. “No Country For Old Men” (2007): It just suddenly ends. Did they run out of money or something?
4. “War Of the Worlds” (2005): Tom Cruise stumbles across the 1 house left in America that hasn’t been turned to rubble … and his entire family just happens to be in it.
3. “Sunshine” (2007): A wacko comes out of nowhere and chases everyone around. It’s like they realized the Sun isn’t all that interesting so they decided to bring a nutcase on board.
2. “Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” (2003): Why not pick just one ending and go with it? The audience actually stood up 2 or 3 times hoping it was over and they could finally hit the can after 4 hours.
1. “Return of the Jedi” (1983): What better way to sell merchandise than to introduce some cute teddy bears (‘Ewoks’) during the finalé? To make it worse … they do a little dance at the end.
– HecklerSpray.com

CAMPAIGN TUNE-UP:
Barack Obama takes the stage to Ben Harper’s “Better Way” and Stevie Wonder’s “Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours”. Hillary Clinton strides on to Celine Dion’s “You & I”, and leaves to The Police’s “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic”. And since being asked by John Mellencamp to stop using “Our Country”, John McCain has been using ABBA’s “Take A Chance On Me” as his campaign song. Meantime, fellow Republican hopeful Mike Huckabee has been asked by former Boston band-member Tom Scholz to quit using their 1976 hit “More Than a Feeling” without permission. (What would be a bad campaign song? “Before He Cheats”?)
– Canwest News Service

A KISS IS NOT JUST A KISS:
Men and women gauge a kiss differently, according to new research. Guys use it as a means to an end … meaning they’re hoping to get lucky. But women lock lips as a bonding gesture and, subconsciously, to evaluate a guy’s potential from the chemicals in his saliva. (They’re not just swapping spit … they’re analyzing it!)
– “Cosmopolitan”

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 88% of women polled say it’s important to have a ‘personal rapport’ with their hairstylists.
• 70% of cellphone owners admit to having content stored on their phone that they wouldn’t want others to see.
• 60% of workers say that the most annoying workplace behavior is ‘office gossip’.
• 32% of women who’ve had their hair cut short say they regret doing it.
• 15% of kids have been grounded in the winter for throwing a snowball.
• 10% of cellphone users admit to taking a call during ‘intimacy’.

ANOTHER PINK DRINK:
A new pink port is being launched in a bid to change the sweet fortified wine’s old-fashioned image and entice female drinkers. Portuguese port-maker Fladgate Partnership hopes the Springtime launch will precede a Summer rush and boost the flagging sales of the product. Like rosé wine, pink port is best served chilled. (With a straw and one of those little umbrella thingies.)
– “Telegraph”

POPULAR PUREBREDS:
Canada’s top canines ranked by registrations …
3. German Shepherds (4,461)
2. Golden Retrievers (5,353)
1. Labrador Retrievers (8,749)
– “Toronto Star”

FOR THE RECORD:
The license plate “1” has been sold for a world-record $14 million at a charity auction in Abu Dhabi. The plate was purchased by 25-year-old Saeed Abdel Khouri, scion to a real estate fortune. Proceeds from the auction go to fund a hospital for those injured in traffic accidents.
– “Guardian”

DID YOU KNOW?
• Feeling sad and angry at the same time increases the risk of developing heart disease. The 1-2 punch of negative emotions appears to elevate levels of inflammatory proteins. Chill, dude.
– MedicalNewsToday.com
• New stats show that there are 119 single men (never married, widowed, or divorced) in their 20s for every 100 single women of the same age. Bad odds, guys.
– US Census Department

BS CHRONOMETER 02.19.08

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [68] Smokey Robinson, Detroit MI, legendary Motown singer (“Cruisin’”, “I Second That Emotion”)/songwriter (“My Guy”, “My Girl”)/recording producer/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1987)/Kennedy Center Honors (2006)

1955 [53] Jeff Daniels, Athens GA, movie actor (“Good Night, and Good Luck”, “Dumb & Dumber”)

1960 [48] Prince Andrew (Andrew Albert Christian Edward Windsor), London UK, Britain’s Duke of York/son of Queen Elizabeth II/Fergie’s ex-/Prince Charles’ little brother/single-digit handicap golfer

1963 [45] Seal (Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adelo Samuel), London UK, pop singer (“Kiss From a Rose”, “Crazy”)/married to model Heidi Klum (2005)

1967 [41] Benicio Del Toro, Santurce, Puerto Rico, movie actor (“Sin City”, Oscar-“Traffic”)  COMING UP: Plays Latin American revolutionary Che Guevara in “Guerrilla” (2008).

1975 [33] Daniel Adair, Toronto ON, rock drummer (Nickelback-“Rockstar”, “Photograph”)/formerly with 3 Doors Down (“Here Without You”, “When I’m Gone”)

1985 [23] Haylie Duff, Houston TX, movie actress (“Material Girls”, “Napoleon Dynamite”)/former TV actress (“7th Heaven” 2005-07)/older sister of singer-actress Hilary Duff  UP NEXT: She’s currently working on her debut album, “Masquerade”, due mid-2008.

TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
• “Chocolate Mint Day”, kind of a lame excuse for an observance … but it’s all we get today.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1960 [48] 1st edition of “The Family Circus” comic strip by Bil Keane (they’re middle-aged now, so how come ‘Billy’, ‘Dolly’, ‘Jeffy’ and ‘PJ’ still look the same?)

1968 [40] “Mr Roger’s Neighborhood” kids’ show debuts on TV (runs until 2001)

1995 [13] Clad in a white bikini, Pamela Anderson weds Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee in Cancun, Mexico (they divorce in 1998)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1974 [34] Producer/music impresario Dick Clark launches the annual “American Music Awards”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1906 [102] 1st ‘Corn Flakes’ go on sale (do you put the milk on first or the sugar?)

1981 [27] 1st scientific report about atmospheric warming caused by pollution, dubbed the ‘Greenhouse Effect’ or ‘Global Warming’ (thereby giving Al Gore a hobby)

1996 [12] Canada’s new $2-coin is officially released (and ‘toonie busting’, separating the two metals that make up the coin, briefly becomes a national pastime)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] 2008 BRIT Awards
[Wed] Hoodie Hoo Day
[Wed] 1st CFPTA Canadian Indie Awards
[Wed] Full (Snow) Moon
[Thurs] Card Reading Day
[Thurs] Single Tasking Day
[Thurs] Chinese Lantern Festival
This Week Is … Pay Your Bills Week
This Month Is … Marijuana Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

BROADCASTING 101:
A nugget of know-how to help encourage you to get back to the basics …
• Eliminate excess verbiage. Good broadcasting, like good writing, uses the fewest words necessary to clearly communicate concepts.

BS REFERENCE CHECKING:
Here’s a quick little phone bit that tests how much friends will lie for one another. Ask a contestant to give you a friend’s phone number. Then call the friend pretending to be a prospective employer of the contestant. Tell her she’s listed as a reference on his résumé & you want to check some facts (did he really have a healthy repartée with co-workers when VP of Microsoft, was he really national chess champion, etc). If the loyal friend lies for the contestant, both win!

BS RANDOM JOKE:
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her … or something like that.

BS ‘BEAT THE TOASTER’:
Your contestant gets 15 seconds to give as many answers as possible in each category. Time’s up when the toaster SFX go off!
• Things you do to get ready in the morning.
• Types of bread.
• Affectionate names you might call your lover.
• Famous people who think they’re hot but they’re not.
• Most romantic places to ‘fool around’.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average woman spends 54,000 hours in her lifetime on THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Her hair.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The problem with the gene pool is that there’s no lifeguard.