The Bull Sheet

February 22, 2007

Thursday, February 22, 2007        Edition: #3473
Get a Load of This Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT the first-ever “Oprah Winfrey Oscar Special” (ABC) features Academy Award-winning actors interviewing other Academy Award-winning actors: Julia Roberts w/George Clooney; Nicole Kidman w/Russell Crowe; and Jamie Foxx w/Sidney Poitier . . . “Dancing With the Stars 4” debuts MARCH 19th and the just-announced celeb hoofers will include Paul McCartney’s estranged wife Heather Mills (the show’s 1st disabled performer); country singer-turned-TV actor Billy Ray Cyrus (“Hannah Montana”); former *NSYNC member Joey Fatone; “Entertainment Tonight” co-host-turned-syndicated radio personality Leeza Gibbons; and 60-year-old actor Vincent Pastore, who played whacked mobster ‘Big Pussy’ on “The Sopranos” . . . “Ghost Rider” star Nicolas Cage is learning to speak German so he can converse with locals when he spends time at his recently acquired 11th century Schloss Neidstein castle in Bavaria that’s currently being renovated (in German ‘ihr kopf ist auf feuer’ means ‘your head is on fire’) . . . First his luggage was seized, now Sylvester Stallone may be investigated by Australian authorities for allegedly possessing banned bodybuilding substances (it’s likely just payback for inflicting another “Rocky” movie on Aussies) . . . 38-year-old ‘James Bond’ actor Daniel Craig says he’d like 57-year-old former ‘Bond girl’ Jane Seymour (“Live & Let Die”) to appear in the next instalment of the spy series – as his love interest (just to add a new wrinkle, so to speak – ‘The Cougar Who Loved Me’?) . . . Filmmaker Spike Lee has picked up one of the most prestigious awards in print & broadcast journalism, the “George Polk Award”, for his HBO documentary about the Hurricane Katrina aftermath, “When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts” . . . And according to a new biography by Charlotte Chandler, Hollywood screen icon Ingrid Bergman (1915-82) & Humphrey Bogart, her co-star in the all-time classic “Casablanca” (1942), were never much interested in the film – and refused to even rehearse for it (it seemed to work out all right, anyhow).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Barenaked Ladies – TONIGHT they do a guest shot on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Britney Spears – Apparently her ‘in & out tour’ is continuing. A day after entering Promises rehab in Malibu CA she’s reportedly left the treatment center. There’s no word on whether she has officially checked out. LAST WEEK she spent a day at Eric Clapton’s Crossroads Center in Antigua. If she spends a day at 30 different rehab facilities will it work the same?
• Bruce Springsteen – His music will be honored in an all-star tribute gala at NYC’s Carnegie Hall APRIL 5th, with performances by Jewel, Chris Isaak, Kenneth ‘Babyface’ Edmonds, Steve Earle, Bruce Hornsby, and many others. The show is a fundraiser to benefit Music for Youth.
• HelloGoodbye – TONIGHT the “Here (In Your Arms)” band plays the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• James Brown – He’ll finally be buried within the next few days following a family agreement on a burial site. The location is being kept confidential as is his body’s current whereabouts.
• Kylie Minogue – Despite the fact she’s split with philandering French actor Olivier Martinez, she’s still seeing his … dog. Wouldn’t they be one and the same?
• Slash – The former Guns N’ Roses & current Velvet Revolver guitarist has a new deal to write his autobiography with the help of author Anthony Bozza, who aided Tommy Lee with his memoir “Tommyland”.
• Tyrese/Method Man – TONIGHT they’re on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Van Halen – Their much-talked-about reunion tour featuring the return of David Lee Roth has been postponed indefinitely, before tickets even went on sale. There’s no comment on why.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A selection of movies in the making …
• “Avatar” – Director James Cameron has signed Sigourney Weaver to play a space explorer in his new sci-fi epic, his first fictional film since 1997’s Oscar-winning blockbuster “Titanic”. The 57-year-old actress previously starred in his 1986 sci-fi thriller “Aliens”. Shooting on the new movie, which Cameron has also written, is due to begin in APRIL.
• “Breakfast With Scot” – This upcoming indie drama which tells the story of an 11-year-old boy being raised by 2 gay men, one of whom happens to be a member of the Toronto Maple Leafs, is already causing controversy before it’s even released. A spokesman for the Canada Family Action Coalition charges that the Maple Leafs are ‘underwriting homosexuality’. Interestingly, he hasn’t even seen the film. It’s due out later THIS YEAR.
• “Saw IV” – Darren Lynn Bousman, the director behind “Saw II” & “Saw III”, is returning to helm yet another installment of the horror franchise. And check this turn-around time: it’s slated to begin shooting in Toronto in APRIL and is due for release just in time for Halloween, on OCTOBER 26th. The series has earned more than $400 million worldwide but after 3 films, when it’s comes to “Saw” … we’ve pretty much seen it.
• “Taken” – In this upcoming thriller, Liam Neeson will star as a former spy whose estranged daughter, played by former “Lost” actress Maggie Grace, is kidnapped and forced into the slave trade. Neeson, of course, is tested to the limit and uses all his skills to save her. Grace was once hyped as ‘the next big thing’ upon leaving the TV show in 2005. The film’s due in 2008.
• “A Woman of No Importance” – Now that rehab-challenged Lindsay Lohan has dropped out to concentrate on sobriety, 25-year-old Jessica Biel (“7th Heaven”, “Elizabethtown”) has landed the plum role in this film version of Oscar Wilde’s classic play. It’s coming to theaters in 2008.

HAIR IS GETTING KINKY:
There’s a new but familiar kink in today’s primping protocol: Crimped hair is back. But today’s ribbed waves are softer than those sported by ’80s mall rats and heavy-metal bands. One observer describes it as more ‘eggshell-foam mattress pad’ than ‘corrugated cardboard’. The modern crimp – seen recently in magazines, on runways, red carpets and award shows – is a tighter take on the textured, tousled hair that briefly appeared a couple years back. (So unplug the hair straightener and plug back in the old curling iron!)
– “USA Today”

FAT CHANCE:
Heston Blumenthal has added iPods to the unusual menu at his acclaimed Fat Duck restaurant in Bray UK. The Michelin-starred chef wants diners at his restaurant, famous for its bacon-and-egg ice cream, to listen to an iPod while they tuck into ‘The Sound Of The Sea’, a dish comprised of shellfish, plus edible ‘foam’ and ‘sand’ made from tapioca and Japanese breadcrumbs. Blumenthal claims that the sound effects sharpen the taste buds. In experiments, customers eating oysters while listening to sea sounds said they found the flavor saltier and more intense. (What if you order steak?)
– Reuters

IT’S NOT JUST THE CARS, IT’S THE COWS:
A new report from the UN Food & Agriculture Organization says a large amount of the greenhouse gases creating climate change come from various aspects of the livestock industry, including the use of energy to produce fertilizer and run slaughterhouses and processing plants. The FAO report says gasses produced by the livestock trade account for 18% of all greenhouse-gas emissions, including 9% of all carbon dioxide, 37% of methane and 65% of nitrous oxide. The total percentage exceeds that caused by the transportation sector. (Next they’ll be looking at ‘Hybrid Livestock’ that you plug in overnight.)
– “Christian Science Monitor”

BS INTERNATIONAL MOOS:
• In Malaysia, the northern state of Terangganu has recruited a volunteer spy squad to catch couples engaged in ‘immoral activities’, including everything from pre-marital relations to simply holding hands in public. The ‘sex spies’ will be trained by the state’s religious officials and will tip them off if they find couples in compromising situations.
• In New Zealand, a family noticed there was something different about their new 3-month-old pet kitten when she started scratching more than other cats. When they examined the frisky feline they were amazed at what they found. After counting and then recounting they confirmed their kitty has 7 toes on each front paw and 6 on each back paw – a total of 26 toes, 6 more than usual. So what did they name her? ‘Extra’.
• In Italy, a couple who wed via telephone will finally be able to consummate their marriage.  Pakistani officials allowed the long-distance wedding because the groom couldn’t get time off from his work in northern Italy. But then Italian diplomats refused to issue a visa for the Pakistani bride, claiming the marriage wasn’t valid. Fortunately, a judge in Milan cut through the red tape and overruled the suits, saying if Pakistan allowed a phone marriage … it’s good to go.

THE FUTURE OF THE MUSIC BIZ?
The 4-month-old ‘Blast My Music’ website promises to eliminate the middle man and put control of sales and distribution into the hands of recording artists themselves. The brainchild of 25-year-old Chris Fellure, the free site has already attracted artists in over 75 different genres. Artists simply log on, create a profile, and upload their music, placing the site’s ‘MusicBlaster’ player on their own website. Consumers can audition tracks, and then download them in an unprotected MP3 form. Like other download sites, tunes sell for 99 cents but two-thirds of that goes directly back to the artist … about triple what they get elsewhere. (All this is happening just as the recording industry has announced a new crackdown on illegal downloads over campus computer networks – wake up, folks!).
NET: http://www.blastmymusic.com/
– antiMusic.com

IN THE SPOTLIGHT:
The US Army’s ‘Aviation Applied Technology Directorate’ (AATD) has developed a 7.5 million candlepower strobe floodlight system that’s mounted on board an unmanned air vehicle. It’s designed to be used as a non-lethal crowd-control system. But that’s not the only flying robot/ray gun combo the American military is examining. The US Air Force is also toying with the idea of mounting its ‘Active Denial System’ pain weapon on a drone. (That way the robots can make us feel like we’re on fire … BEFORE they temporarily blind us.)
– “Wired”

RETURN TO ‘THE 3 Rs’:
A daily dose of mental arithmetic has been placed on the curriculum for French children under a government plan to sharpen young minds dulled by TV. It will be a daily exercise for children as young as 5. Nursery schoolers will also study multiplication and division for the first time since the 1970s. (“Jean-Pierre has 6 Gummi worms in his pocket. How many lint-covered Gummi worms can he share with his 3 friends before being sent to the office?”)
– “Times of London”

DID YOU KNOW?
• Canada has the world’s highest tertiary education enrolment.
• Canada confers the most new citizenships per capita of any country in the world.
• More than 2.2 million Americans play the accordion.
• There are at least 56 ranches in Texas where one may shoot a zebra.
• The dolphins that live in the Amazon River are pink.
• It takes 31.7 years to count off a billion seconds.
• Most dogs run an average of 19 mph.

THE BULL SHEET 02.22.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1932 [75] Ted Kennedy, Brookline MA, US Senator (Massachusetts) since 1962

1944 [63] Jonathan Demme, Baldwin NY, movie director (“Neil Young: Heart of Gold”, Oscar-“The Silence of the Lambs”)

1959 [48] Kyle MacLachlan, Yakima WA, TV actor (‘Orson Hodge’ on “Desperate Housewives” since 2006, “Sex & the City” 2000-02)

1963 [44] Vijay Singh, Lautoka, Fiji, professional golfer on the PGA Tour

1968 [39] Jeri Ryan (Zimmerman), Munich, Germany, TV actress (‘Jessica Devlin’ on “Shark” since 2006, “Boston Public” 2001-04, “Star Trek: Voyager” 1997-2001)

1975 [32] Drew Barrymore, Culver City CA, movie actress/producer (“Music and Lyrics”, “50 First Dates”)  UP NEXT: Stars with Eric Bana in the Las Vegas drama, “Lucky You”, opening MAY 4th.

1974 [33] James Blunt, Tidworth UK, pop singer (“You’re Beautiful”)/one-hit-wonder?

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Be Humble Day”. Just for one day try not to brag or to boast; and try not to talk about your success or accomplishments. Why? Because humbleness is a good thing, a virtue.

• “George Washington’s Birthday”, celebrating America’s 1st President, born on this date in 1732.

• “World Thinking Day”, an annual celebration of Boy Scouts/Girl Guides founders Lord & Lady Baden-Powell’s joint birthday. Scouts and Guides are encouraged to ‘think’ of good deeds. Many will wear their uniforms to school TODAY (if you remind them).

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1949 [58] The debut of ‘Modern Professional Wrestling’ as Gorgeous George beats Ernie Dusek at NYC’s Madison Square Garden using fake moves and lots of other razzamatazz

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1989 [18] The “Grammy Awards” reach a whole new low by citing Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy” as both ‘Best Record’ & ‘Best Song’; and awarding lip-sync scammers Milli Vanilli a win for ‘Best New Artist’ (Universal Pictures is currently developing a movie about the bogus duo who sold 30 million singles & 11 million albums before becoming the laughing stock of the entertainment biz)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1959 [48] 1st ‘Daytona 500′ auto race (won by Lee Petty, father of legendary racer Richard Petty)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Canada Winter Games begin (Whitehorse YT)
[Fri] Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day
[Fri] Curling is Cool Day
[Sat] 27th “Razzie Awards” (Los Angeles)
[Sun] 79th Academy Awards (Los Angeles)
This Week Is … Engineers Week
This Month Is … World Understanding Month

BULL’S BITS

WHAT WOMEN ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• “Push His Buttons … Drive a Man Wild With Some Sly Moves!” [“Cosmo”]
• “The Cutest Cupcakes You’ve Ever Seen!” [“Ladies’ Home Journal”]
• “BlackBerry Thumb … Can Texting All the Time Really Strain Your Fingers?” [“Redbook”]
• “19 Ways to Set the Scene” [“Woman’s Day”]
• “The Next Big Thing … Grey!” [Cleo]

WHAT MEN ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• “Screw World Peace: Here’s the Best Weapons We Don’t Have” [“Maxim”]
• “The Dangers Of Dating A Coworker” [AskMen.com]
• “How to Spice Things Up Outside the Bedroom” [“Men’s Health”]
• “The Five Shoes Every Man Needs” [“Esquire”]
• “Please, Go Tuck Yourself … Is Your Shirt Making You Look Fat?” [“GQ”]   

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Mary Kaye has just died at age 83. What now-common term did she introduce to Las Vegas?
a. Comped Hotel Room
b. Lounge Singer [CORRECT. She suggested building a stage in the bar area of the Last Frontier hotel and calling it a ‘lounge’. Her group, the Mary Kaye Trio, performed there in the wee hours of the morning, helping to turn Vegas into a 24-hour entertainment Mecca.]
c. Live Nude Girls

BS RANDOM JOKES:
• I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children … because I don’t think children should be having sex.
• To me, boxing is like a ballet … except there’s no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: More than 3 times as many women as men have issued THIS ultimatum to their partners.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: “Marry me or move out!”

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

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