Monday, February 8, 2021 – Edition: #6912

We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Hollywood stars have paid tribute to Christopher Plummer, the Canadian actor who died on Friday at 91. Dame Julie Andrews, who starred alongside Plummer in “The Sound of Music”, said he was a “consummate actor” and a “cherished friend”. Joseph Gordon-Levitt described him as “one of the greats”, and Chris Evans, who starred with Plummer in “Knives Out”, said: “What an unbelievable loss. Few careers have such longevity and impact.” Plummer was best known as ‘Captain Von Trapp’ in The Sound of Music, but his career flourished later in life. He won an Oscar in 2012 for the film “Beginners”, and was also nominated in 2010 and 2018. He also won two Tony Awards, a Golden Globe, a Screen Actors Guild Award and a Bafta.
-BBC
★ Jennifer Lawrence was injured in an incident on the set of the Netflix film “Don’t Look Up” early Friday morning. While shooting overnight in Brockton, Mass., J-Law was hit by flying debris from a special-effects explosion. According to reports, she was hit with glass fragments after a trash can went through a window and was seen holding her face afterward. The extent of her injury is unclear, although an insider said “it wasn’t that bad.” Filming was halted for the day as a result of her injury.
-Yahoo, TMZ
★ Armie Hammer’s talent agency WME has dropped him amid a social media firestorm of what the actor calls phoney claims about him. Hammer recently exited the Paramount+ series “The Offer,” and before that, he left the film “Shotgun Wedding” with Jennifer Lopez. Josh Duhamel has since replaced Hammer. His decision to leave both projects came after leaked messages purporting to detail his sex life, including a supposed interest in cannibalism and rape fantasies, surfaced on an Instagram account.
-TheWrap
★ Prince Harry left his quiet home in Montecito, California to spend some time with his pal James Corden on Friday. They were seen chilling on an open-air double-decker tour bus in Hollywood. As they pulled out of the CBS lot around noon, they were surrounded by a full crew, including 3 cameras and also got a police escort. No word what they were shooting, but it has all the makings of a pretty epic “Carpool Karaoke”, especially because Harry’s not exactly known for his pipes.
-TMZ

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Katy Perry, Michael McDonald
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Foo Fighters, Joel Kinnaman
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Queen Latifah, Steven Yeun
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Bill Burr, Justin Hartley
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Salma Hayek, Owen Wilson, the Weeknd
• “Conan” (TBS): Jay Pharoah (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Elizabeth Frankini, Ashling Lorger
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Ricky Gervais
• “The Talk” (CBS): Phil Keoghan, Rebecca Breeds
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Katy Perry, Luke Bryan, Lionel Richie
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Chrissy Teigen
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Jenny Han, Al Roker, Meagan Good
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Patti LaBelle, Pilar Valdes
• “The Bachelor” (ABC): Emotions run high as rivals come face-to-face, cocktail parties are called off, and a group date gets unexpectedly competitive.
• “Black Lightning” (CW): Season 4 premiere
• “VH1 Family Reunion: Love & Hip Hop Edition” (VH1): Casts from all four cities come together for a week; Trick Daddy throws an epic cookout and Trina has sexy pajama jam where old scores are settled.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Cardi B – dropped her new single ‘Up’ on Thursday. She says she has “like 50 songs recorded” for her next album, but “I’m just still not satisfied. If I’m not satisfied, I’m just not satisfied, but I really want to put out an album this year.”
• Zara Larsson – her upcoming album “Poster Girl” is inspired by pop legends ABBA. The ‘WOW’ singer will release her third album on March 5, and says she embraced her Swedish roots and was inspired by the artists she listened to for “escapism” growing up, also including Roxette and Robyn.
• Dave Grohl – says he learned to play drums on a set of pillows. He says he had to improvise, and that also included “two drumsticks that were actually marching sticks so they were gigantically fat.” By the time he was 16 and he finally got a real set of drumsticks, he says he “just shattered everything.”
• Coldplay – have a new album coming soon. According to reports, they have been working on music during the pandemic and the new release has the working title “Music of The Spheres”. Apparently, they’ve already trademarked the name for use on merchandise.
• Prince – his beloved white dove, Divinity, has died. The Paisley Park Estate has announced the bird previously owned by the late music legend flew to the heavens last Tuesday at the grand age of 28. According to the website statement, “One of the original doves Prince kept at his Paisley Park complex, Divinity was a fixture for countless Paisley Park tours, events, and productions.”
• Morgan Wallen – His music was banned from hundreds of radio stations after his use of a racial slur, but his sales have continued to skyrocket. “Dangerous: The Double Album” sales increased by more than 500% compared to the week before the controversy exploded.
• Luke Bryan — During a livestream performance on Thursday, he revealed that he will release a new version of his “Born Here Live Here Die Here”, which originally dropped in August. The expanded version, out April 9, will feature 6 new songs. He debuted 2 of them during the livestream: ‘Country Does’ and ‘Waves’. Bryan also played the Super Bowl afterparty event.
• Dan + Shay – dropped their new song ‘Glad You Exist’ on Friday. In addition to sharing the tune, they posted a message which included the words: “To us, ‘glad you exist’ is more than just a song. it’s a message of gratitude and hope. a message to everyone in our lives: our fans, our friends, our families.” LINK: https://youtu.be/eQzcHDAbfm8

SHOOTING THE BULL

HOME WORK:
If your boss thinks that maybe you’re enjoying a little more free time these days because you’re working from home, tell him/her to think again. New research shows that home-working employees are actually putting in more hours than they did when they were commuting to a workplace. The average working day is now 2.5 hours longer among employees studied in the UK, Australia, Canada and the US. NordVPN Teams, looked at the amount of data being sent via servers to calculate people’s working hours. They found “no significant drop” of business VPN usage at lunch time, indicating that workers seem to be only stopping work briefly, if at all, at mid-day. And many appear to regularly continue to use their computers through until 8pm. A separate research firm found that 55% of UK employees say they have been expected to work outside their regular hours while working from home.
(Of course we’re working on weekends too…I put in 3 hours on Saturday before I realized what day it was!)
(Ummm…what ELSE can they tell about what we are doing on their computers while working from home? Asking for a friend…)
(There are three kinds of jobs; those you shower before, those you shower after…and working from home.)
-CTV

TODAY’S SPECIAL:
A restaurant Iowa is for sale…for just $1. Owner Li Zhang says his restaurant and karaoke bar Lark & Owl in Iowa City has suffered huge losses over the last year due to the coronavirus pandemic and he is “carrying a huge rent debt.” He’s already heard from several people interested in taking over the restaurant for a buck, but they all seem hesitant due to its $5,000 per month rental agreement. The restaurant hasn’t made a profit since the pandemic hit the U.S., partly because it is dependent on its karaoke room, which has been closed. Delivery and takeout haven’t been able to make up the difference for the restaurant, which first opened in August, 2019.
(I’ve eaten there. It’s worth every penny!)
(Is that price negotiable?)
(Maybe he could just accidentally include the restaurant with someone’s delivery?)
-NYPost

NEW RELEASES:
☞ Yes, an artist like Justin Bieber began his career as a child prodigy, but at 15-months-old, Luca Yupanqui has him beat. She recorded her first album before she was even born. “Sounds of the Unborn” will be released April 2 by Sacred Bones Records. Luca’s sounds were captured by her parents, musicians Elizabeth Hart and Iván Diaz Mathé, using biosonic technology. Electrodes attached to her mother’s womb were used to receive electromagnetic impulses that were translated into MIDI and then hooked up to synthesizers to create the recordings over 5 one-hour sessions. Hart describes the resulting music as “free form landscapes” with a “network of variations that keep shifting and shaping the ambiance.” (Ah. Pink Floyd.)
☞ You’ve heard of “dad jokes”. You’ve heard of “dad jeans”. And maybe you’ve heard of “dad rock”. But you’ve probably never heard of so much dad rock all in one place. Some social media users are posting about their discovery of the 2018 compilation “Now That’s What I Call Dad Rock”, part of the long-running “Now That’s What I Call Music!” series of hits collections. The 59-song, 3-disc dad rock release kicks off with Queen’s ‘We Will Rock You’, and includes other usual suspects like ZZ Top’s ‘Sharp Dressed Man’, Survivor’s ‘Eye of the Tiger’, REO Speedwagon’s ‘Can’t Fight This Feeling’, and more. But last week, when word of the fatherly compilation started gaining traction on social media, some listeners were horrified to learn that songs from artists such as Sum 41 and Avril Lavigne are now considered “dad rock.” (59 songs, all of them “dad rock” …just like [***LOCAL CLASSIC ROCK STATION***]!!)
-CNN, Buzzfeed

VALENTINE’S DAY GIFTS THAT ARE…DIFFERENT:
⇒ Meathearts:  Candy hearts seem so “old school”. These beef jerky hearts with special messages (“Beef mine”) may keep your sweetheart from having a beef with YOU. (Especially good if your Valentine is doing keto…)
⇒ HugMeChicken:  If the pandemic has forced you and your valentine into a socially-distanced situation, this giant rubber chicken can take your place. When it starts crowing, your love will look at it and think of you. (And probably hate you!)
⇒ Chocolate hummus:  Sure, chocolate is great, but it’s not all that healthy. Unless it’s chocolate hummus, made from chickpeas. (It’s as good as it sounds, I’m sure…)
⇒ Broken heart chocolate pizza:  Yup. Just what it sounds like. This heart-shaped chocolate pizza literally splits the difference with the help of a mallet, allowing your valentine to deliver a blow that’s more satisfying than real-life romances. (But why would you get a gift for someone who is going to “break your heart”?)
⇒ BendShape Mask:  It’s a protective face mask with a plastic shield section over the mouth area to allow you to see your Valentine’s facial expressions. (Note: If you’re getting her the Chocolate hummus, if don’t WANT to see her facial expressions!)
⇒ Chocolate cake purse:  It’s a purse that looks like a chocolate cake. Sweet! (Better than a chocolate cake that looks like a purse?)
⇒ Bathing suit with matching face mask:  Bikinis are a sexy Valentine’s Day surprise, but a matching face mask will ensure your sweetheart isn’t exposed to the coronavirus while she exposes everything else…
⇒ Pickle bouquet kit:  Yes, it’s a thing. Skip the flowers and candy, and turn an assortment of sliced pickles into a beautiful, tart arrangement. Comes with 15 skewers and an empty pickle container to serve as the base. (It was then that she knew the romance had gone sour…)
-HuffPost

DID YOU KNOW?
Elon Musk’s Tesla Roadster, launched Feb 6, 2018, is continuing its impressive tour of the Solar System. The red electric car, which the CEO once drove on his daily commute to the office, now carries a dummy called “Starman” on an unimaginable journey toward Mars. The tracker WhereIsRoadster shows the car had completed 1.97 orbits of the Sun. It has traveled nearly 1.5 million miles, enough to outstrip the warranty over 40,000 times and far enough to travel all the world’s roads 68 times. It’s moving at a speed of nearly 75,000 mph, with a fuel economy rating of 11,900 miles per gallon. If the battery is still working, Starman has “listened” to David Bowie’s song ‘Space Oddity’ almost 300,000 times.
-Inverse, WhereisRoadster

BS CHRONOMETER 02.08.21

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1932 [89] John Williams, Long Island NY, composer-conductor (wrote the theme music for the “Star Wars” movies, “Superman”, “Indiana Jones” and “Jaws”)/25-time Grammy winner BS FACTOID: He has never seen a Star Wars movie for which he composed the music

1941 [80] Nick Nolte, Omaha NE, movie actor (“The Prince of Tides”, “Warrior”)

1943 [78] Creed Bratton, Los Angeles CA, TV actor (“The Office” 2005-2013)/pop guitarist (The Grass Roots-‘Midnight Confessions’)

1953 [68] Mary Steenburgen, Newport AR, movie actress (“Step Brothers”, “Elf”/TV actress “Last Man on Earth” 2015-18)

1955 [66] John Grisham, Jonesboro AR, lawyer-turned-novelist (“Rogue Lawyer”, “The Firm”) BS FACTOID: Movies made from his books include “The Pelican Brief” (1993), “A Time to Kill” (1996), “Runaway Jury” (2003), and “Christmas With the Kranks” (2004)

1961 [60] Vince Neil (Wharton), Hollywood CA, rock vocalist (Motley Crue-‘Smokin’ in the Boys Room’, ‘Home Sweet Home’)

1969 [52] Keith Nelson, Pittsburgh PA, rock guitarist (Buckcherry-‘Sorry’, ‘Lit Up’)

1974 [47] Seth Green, Philadelphia PA, movie actor (“Austin Powers” movies, “The Italian Job”/TV voice actor (Chris Griffin on “Family Guy” since 1999)

1977 [44] Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell, Plymouth MA, rock musician (Linkin Park-‘The Catalyst’, ‘Shadow of the Day’)

1984 [37] Cecily Strong, Springfield IL, TV actress (“Saturday Night Live” since 2012)/movie actress (“Ghostbusters”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Football Hangover Day”, it’s estimated nearly 14 million people call into work “sick” the day after the big game. For this reason, many feel the day after the Super Bowl should be declared a holiday. (Or, maybe have the Super Bowl on a Saturday?)

• “Laugh & Get Rich Day”, in recognition of laughter’s power to add to the bottom line. It’s claimed that people who laugh are more effective and tend to remember things better.

• “Opera Day”, for those who like listening to every word of a story being sung. (Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.) A few facts…
– The first ‘modern’ opera was written in 1597.
– The longest opera ever written was Wagner’s “The Ring Cycle,” a grueling 15½ hours.
– For all the attention and publicity that it gets, only 3% of us have ever attended an opera.

• “Propose Day”, the second day in the Valentine week from February 7-14. In India on this day, large numbers of young people give roses to girlfriends, boyfriends, relatives, or friends.

• “Boy Scout Day”, celebrating the birthday of Scouting in America. On February 8, 1910, Chicago publisher William Dickson Boyce filed incorporation papers in the District of Columbia to create the Boy Scouts of America.

• “National Kite Flying Day”, why Kite Flying Day is held in the middle of winter, we have no idea. BS FACTOID: Kites were first used by the military in ancient China over 3,000 years ago.

• “Oatmeal Monday”, a holiday that was traditionally celebrated at Scottish universities. From the 1600s through the late 1800s, students there were required to bring their own food and fuel to campuses, such as oatmeal and firewood.

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Chocolate Day
[Tues] Toothache Day
[Wed] Flannel Day
[Wed] Umbrella Day
This Week Is…Freelance Writers Appreciation Week
This Month Is…Black History Month

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2007 [14] 39-year-old wannabe actress, model, and million-heir Anna Nicole Smith is found dead in a room of the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida

2012 [09] Elizabeth Taylor’s collection of artwork by Vincent Van Gogh, Camille Pissarro, and Edgar Degas sells at auction for over $20 million

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2009 [12] Chris Brown is questioned by police in Los Angeles after assaulting his then-girlfriend Rihanna. The two were scheduled to perform together at the Grammys that night.

2011 [10] Ashlee Simpson files for divorce from Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy, citing irreconcilable differences

2015 [06] Sam Smith wins both ‘Song” and “Record of the Year” for ‘Stay With Me’ at the 57th Grammy Awards

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2004 [17] OutKast becomes the first hip-hop act to win a Grammy Award for “Album of the Year” (“Speakerboxxx/The Love Below”)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2004 [17] Beyoncé wins 5 trophies at the Grammy Awards, tying the then-record for female artists co-held by Alicia Keys, Lauryn Hill, and Norah Jones (Adele and Beyoncé have since raised the mark to 6)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Studies show that about 8% of dreams are about sex.
✓ 200 million roses will be sold in the U.S. on Valentine’s Day.
✓ Earth orbits the sun at a speed of about 1,000 (1,600 km) miles per minute.
✓ The first telephone answering machine was 3 feet (92cm) tall.
✓ The ‘tuatara’, a lizard native to New Zealand, has a third eye on the top of its head.
✓ At any one time, about 0.7% of the world’s population is drunk.
-ThoughtCatalogue, BathroomReadersInstitute

BS ENTERTAINERS CONSIDERED FOR PANDEMIC HALFTIME SHOW:
• Fleetwood Mask
• Miley Virus
• U2 Meters Away
• 3 Layers Down
• Bruce Springsteen And The PPE Street Band
• Covid and Cambria
• Epidemic Jagger
• The Masked Singer
• The Cure
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS SUPER BOWL LOSER EXCUSES:
• Depressing pre-game pep talk by Mitch McConnell
• Their quarterback kept looking one way, then throwing the other.
• Started giving 109% instead of 110%.
• Should have made ‘tails’ our FINAL ANSWER during the coin toss.
• Shouldn’t have skipped breakfast — it’s the most important meal of the day!
• The refs weren’t calling mask violations among the other team’s coaching staff.
• Hey, did you ever try to run around a 350-lb tub of goo?
• Those big guys on other team kept trying to knock us down!
• Secure enough in our manhood to play gently.
• It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.
• Wanted to beat the traffic.
-First published in BS in 2001

TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ Sunday is Valentine’s Day. (Flowers die.  Instead, I got my lady something that won’t go away, even if you want it to: Nancy Pelosi)
➠ Only 4% of women think flowers are the best present for Valentine’s Day. (That number jumps to 100% if they’re delivered by a shirtless Gosling.)
➠ A rescued German Shepherd is being hailed as a hero after saving her owner during a stroke. (Meanwhile, after my dog’s second 6-hour nap, he found a way to eat a hole in the couch, humped the neighbor’s cat, then took a crap in grandma’s flip-flop…)
➠ (***CHECK FOR ACCURACY***) People in Kansas City were setting trash fires and flipping over police cars Sunday night. (Then they heard the Chiefs won the Super Bowl, and things got REALLY crazy.
➠ A study claims nearly 35% of people say they plan to sext someone on Valentine’s Day.  (The other 65% don’t know Brett Favre’s number)

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Who first declared February 14th as Valentine’s Day?
a) Julius Caesar
b) Pope Gelasius [CORRECT]
c) Saint Valentine
d) George Washington

• In what year did the first written valentines appear?
a) 100
b) 1415 [CORRECT, written by Charles, Duke of Orleans]
c) 1647
d) 1951

• According to a survey, what is the most disappointing Valentine’s Day gift to receive?
a) Cheap chocolate
b) Cheap flowers
c) Cheap underwear [CORRECT]
d) A kiss
-LovetoKnow

BS WEB GOODIE:
Virtual reality:  https://tinyurl.com/1aadw5nq

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s your best sickie excuse? (Because we all could use one on the Monday after Super Bowl…)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Based on how I react when the toast pops, I’d never look cool walking away from an explosion.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  When it comes to disagreements between men and women, 40% of women admit they have done THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Thrown their shoe

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Everyone has the fire, but the champions know when to ignite the spark.