Thursday, February 1, 2024 – Edition: #7647

Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Praise be! “The Handmaid’s Tale” actress Elisabeth Moss is expecting her first child. She revealed the news during an appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live”. Referencing her growing baby bump. Kimmel joked: “I feel like I should ask, are you pregnant or just an incredibly committed method actor?” Moss, who is 41, answered: “A little bit of both”. She shared that she’s feeling “good,” and things are “going really well.” It’s not clear when she’s due, but Moss said she’ll be filming the final season of The Handmaid’s Tale this summer.
-Messenger
★ After more than 2 years away from the spotlight due to a rare diagnosis, Céline Dion will open herself up to fans with a new documentary recently acquired by Amazon MGM Studios. “I Am Céline Dion”, by Oscar-nominated filmmaker Irene Taylor, will take “viewers on a journey inside Céline’s past and present as she reveals her battle with stiff-person syndrome and the lengths she has gone to continue performing for her beloved and loyal fans,” says a press release. The documentary will be available on Prime Video. No release date has been announced.
-CBC
★ Tom Sandoval claims his ex-Ariana Madix “belittled” him during their nearly 10-year relationship before he cheated on her with Rachel Leviss. On Nick Viall’s “The Viall Files” podcast, he said: “If you want me to be…honest, I loved, I love Ariana. I do. I really care about her.” But, he claims that throughout their relationship, she, (Quote) “talked to me like I was down here, all the…time.” The “Vanderpump Rules” star added that he “acted out” because he had such “low self-worth.”
-PageSix
★ “Leave the World Behind” has entered Netflix’s most popular films of all-time list. The apocalyptic thriller, starring Julia Roberts, Ethan Hawke and Mahershala Ali, scored 136 million views in its first 52 days on the streamer, placing it at #8 on the most popular English films list, ahead of “Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery” and “Extraction.”
-TheWrap
★ Reba McEntire is planning her sitcom return.  Over 15 years after starring in “Reba” on the CW, McEntire is set to star in, and executive produce a pilot ordered by NBC for a new comedy, which will reunite the country music legend with Reba executive producers and writers. The official logline reads: “Reba inherits her father’s restaurant and is less than thrilled to discover that she has a new business partner in the half-sister she never knew she had.”
-TheWrap

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC/Global): Timothée Chalamet, Zendaya, Austin Butler and Florence Pugh, Benson Boone
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Sam Rockwell, Jack Whitehall
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Cena, Kwame Alexander
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Larry David
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Scott Bakula
• “The Talk” (CBS): Matt Walsh, Dr. Hadiyah-Nicole Green
• “Live With Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Catherine O’Hara
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Bryce Dallas Howard, Catherine O’Hara, Claudia Schiffer, Desmond Meade
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Zanna Roberts Rassi, Damona Hoffman
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): D-Nice
• “Law & Order” (NBC): When a young woman is strangled, Yee connects it to a potential serial offender, leading Riley to revisit a case that went cold. (Followed by new episodes of “SVO” and “Organized Crime”)
• “Farmer Wants a Wife” (Fox): Season 2 premiere. The 4 farmers match with women from big cities who think they might fit in with their farm lifestyle.
• “Genius: MLK/X” (ABC): Season 4 premiere. Young Martin is influenced by his family and the Jim Crow-era South; and heads to Boston University; Young Malcolm is taught pride, self-sufficiency and loss.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Justin Timberlake — *NSYNC fans shouldn’t give up on more new music just yet. During an appearance on “The Kelly Clarkson Show”, he dropped a hint that last year’s brief reunion was only the beginning. Quote: “We’ve been in the studio, so there may be a little something in the future, too.” The group got together last year to record ‘Better Place’ for the movie “Trolls Band Together”.
• Ed Sheeran – still isn’t popular with cats. He shared a hilarious video of him attempting to serenade a group of felines, and it wasn’t a success. In it, most of the kitties scurry away the second he strums his guitar, causing him to stop and stare at the camera in resignation. His caption: “Trying to win over the same kitties that ran away from me in 2014, same results.” LINK: http://tinyurl.com/2s3s3d88
• Joni Mitchell – In addition to the fact that she has recently been added to the performers’ list at the Grammys on Feb. 4, the 80-year-old has also announced she’ll play a show Hollywood Bowl in L.A. on Oct. 19. “Joni Mitchell and the Joni Jam” will be just her second headlining performance in 2 decades.
• Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie — have announced their second “Freaks on Parade” tour. The 21-city Summer spooktacular will launch Aug. 20 in Albuquerque NM, and run through Sept. 18 in Fort Worth TX. Tickets go on sale tomorrow. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/yc5upmz8
• Eric Church and Morgan Wallen – The pair have purchased Field & Stream magazine and plan to revitalize the outdoorsy brand as a print magazine, website, and apparel company – plus they have plans for a live music festival.
• Zach Bryan and Kacey Musgraves – ‘I Remember Everything’ has now been at #1 on the Hot Country Songs chart for 18 weeks. That ties Florida Georgia Line’s 2016 hit ‘H.O.L.Y.’ for the 11th-longest rule since the chart became a trendsetter in 1958.
• Luke Combs – has revealed the name of his new Nashville bar. “Category 10” is slated to open this summer. The multilevel entertainment venue, previously home to Wildhorse Saloon, will host 5 entertainment experiences: an authentic honky-tonk, dance floor, sports bar, intimate space for up-and-comers to perform and a 7,000-square-foot rooftop. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/uf2ruv6x

SHOOTING THE BULL

NOW THERE’S AN APP FOR THIS:
What a pain. It seems that due to theft, any of a number of products you’re looking for in a store these days, might be locked up in a glass case. Some retailers have even resorted to putting toothpaste, shampoo and cosmetics under lock and key, and that can be a real hassle for customers — and for staff. But now, some stores are testing a new way to let customers open the displays themselves – using their cell phones. The “Freedom Case” is essentially self-service for unlocking display cases. The touch screen lets customers use their cell phone number, a retailer’s app, or a store loyalty card to unlock a display case and access locked merchandise. Shoppers select an option on the display case and then receive a text message with a 4-digit code to let them open the case. The system is being tested in American retailers including Kroger, Safeway, and Lowe’s. The manufacturer, Indyme, assures us that the customer’s phone number is “used solely for the purpose of accessing merchandise”, as it aims to stem the approximately 20% reduction in sales that retailers usually see when they lock up items. One supermarket chain is even using the system in its liquor department.
(“Oh – hey buddy – while you have that open, let me have a look at the whiskey, will ya?”)
(You know what all this means, don’t you? All the more reason for someone to try to steal your cell phone!)
-CNN

EX-CELLENT PROMOTION:
We’ve got word here of another awesome Valentine’s Day promotion being run by an animal shelter. Homeward Bound Pet Adoption Center in Blackwood NJ has launched its “Neuter Your Ex” event. Fortunately, it’s not quite as…um…life-altering as it sounds…for your ex, at least. Here’s how it works: They are inviting people to donate $50 to the shelter to have a feral cat named after their ex. Then the cat gets neutered. A release says “It will then be “released back to their colony as part of our trap-neuter-return program.” The shelter says the idea has “really taken off”, no doubt helped along by the promotion’s tag line: “Because some things shouldn’t breed”. LINK: https://www.instagram.com/p/C2fR00GuS_8/
(Neuter Your Ex? Because “Castrate Your Mate” was already taken?)
(I always said that my ex was trying to “fix” me – but at least not literally!)
(Yeah – the idea isn’t the only thing that’s being “really taken off”!)
-People

ADVICE? CALL ‘EM:
At what point are you “adult enough” to finally realize that it’s OK to ask for help? 27, according to a new poll. A survey of 2,000 adults found that those between ages 25-34 are most likely to reach out to others when they need help, while those over 65 prefer to go it alone. Relationships were found to be the hardest thing to ask for help with (cited by 37% of people), followed by finances and health. People were found to be much more comfortable reaching out for help with work, careers and education. And why are we sometimes reluctant to ask for assistance? 51% said they prefer to be independent, 48% don’t want to be a bother to others, and 23% said they are simply too proud.
(Well, I’m not too proud to ask for help – especially with the laundry, right dear?)
(The problem with asking for help is this: Then you gotta do stuff – or the person will think you’re ignoring their advice!)
-StudyFinds

FULL NAMES OF CHARACTERS THAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW HAD FULL NAMES:
If you’re a ‘Barbie’ fan, you might already know that her full name is ‘Barbara Millicent Roberts’. But what about Ken? And what about these 15 other fictional characters?
☞ ‘Ken’:  Ken Carson
☞ ‘The Wizard’ (in “The Wizard of Oz”): Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs (He took the first 2 initials, rather than the next 7, which were unfortunate…)
☞ ‘Pillsbury Doughboy’: Poppin’ Fresh. His wife is ‘Poppy Fresh”, and they have kids named ‘Popper’ and ‘Bun Bun’.
☞ ‘Cap’n Crunch’: Horatio Magellan Crunch
☞ ‘The Lone Ranger’: A 1981 movie revealed his name to be ‘John Reid’. However, a 2003 film called him ‘Luke Hartman’.
☞ ‘The Michelin Man’: Bibendum (Bib for short) after his old catchphrase, Nunc est Bibendum, which is Latin for “Now for drinking.”
☞ ‘Peppermint Patty’: Patricia Reichardt
☞ ‘Mr. Snuffleupagus’: Aloysius Snuffleupagus
☞ ‘Shaggy’: Norville Rogers (Zoinks!)
☞ The “Operation” game patient: Cavity Sam
☞ The ”Cocoa Puffs” bird: Sonny the Cuckoo Bird
☞ ‘Mr. Clean’: Veritably Clean, as named in a 1962 contest.
☞ The “Monopoly” man: Rich Uncle Pennybags (although he’s known as ‘Mr. Monopoly’ today)
☞ ‘The Skipper’ from “Gilligan’s Island”: Jonas Grumby
☞ ‘The Professor’ from “Gilligan’s Island”: Roy Hinkley
☞ ‘The Comic Book Guy’ from “The Simpsons”: He was finally named ‘Jeff Albertson’ in 2005, concluding a long-running joke where he was left nameless.
-ReadersDigest

DID YOU KNOW?
The average ticket price for the Feb. 11 Super Bowl matchup between the Kansas City Chiefs and San Francisco 49ers is US $9,800, according to online events marketplace TickPick. The current cheapest admission for this year’s game is $8,188, which is more than 50% more expensive than the cheapest ticket to last year’s Super Bowl. That makes it, of course, the most expensive Super Bowl on record. (Even MORE expensive if you have a betting record like mine!)
-CNN

BS CHRONOMETER 02.01.24

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Change Your Password Day”, an annual reminder that ‘123456′ is not keeping your data all that safe.
• “Spunky Old Broads Day”, dedicated to the saying ‘old girls just wanna have fun’. Spunky old broads are positive, fun, butt-kicking mature women over the age of 50 who refuse to sit back quietly and get old. (Who’s the spunkiest famous old broad, now that Betty White has left us?)
• “G.I. Joe Day”. The name was inspired by the 1945 Robert Mitchum movie “The Story of GI Joe”. FUN FACT: Hasbro invented the term ‘action figure’ because it believed boys wouldn’t play with a ‘doll’.
• “Dark Chocolate Day”. Unsweetened chocolate is dark chocolate made up of between 85–100% cocoa beans. It is the most bitter dark chocolate — but is also the healthiest.
• “Car Insurance Day”, commemorating the first auto insurance policy, issued to one Truman Martin of Buffalo NY on this date in 1898. It cost $11.50 (96 cents if he paid monthly)
• “Baked Alaska Day”, made with hard ice cream on a base of sponge cake and covered in a shell of toasted meringue. (I thought “Baked Alaska” was the name of a reality show!)
• “Robinson Crusoe Day”, commemorating the anniversary of the rescue of Alexander Selkirk, on this date in 1709. He was a Scottish sailor who was banished to an uninhabited island in 1704 after a quarrel with his captain. His adventures there are said to have formed the basis for Daniel Defoe’s book “Robinson Crusoe”.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Tater Tot Day
[Fri] Change Your Windshield Wipers Day
[Sat] Halfway Point of Winter (Northern Hemisphere)
[Sun] Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
This Week is… African Heritage and Health Week
This Month is… Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [74] Mike Campbell, Panama City FL, rock guitarist-singer (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers – ‘Refugee’, The Dirty Knobs-‘Wreckless Abandon’)/touring guitarist for Fleetwood Mac 2018-19)/session guitarist (Stevie Nicks, Don Henley, Johnny Cash…)

1968 [56] Pauly Shore, Los Angeles CA, comedian/movie actor (“Encino Man”, “Son in Law”, “Bio-Dome”)

1979 [45] Jason Isbell, Green Hill AL, country-Americana singer-guitarist (Drive-By Truckers, Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit-‘Alabama Pines’)/4 Grammys/married to Amanda Shires since 2013

1971 [53] Michael C Hall, Raleigh NC, TV actor (“Dexter” 2006-13, “Dexter: New Blood” 2021-22, “Six Feet Under” 2001-05)/Broadway actor (“Lazarus” 2015-17)

1975 [49] Big Boi (Antwan Patton), Savannah GA, hip-hop artist (f/Kelly Rowland-‘Mama Told Me’, OutKast-‘Hey Ya!’)

1987 [37] Ronda Rousey, Riverside CA, former WWE wrestler (RAW Women’s Champion 2018-19)/former MMA fighter (won 12 consecutive MMA fights, 6 in the UFC, before suffering her first loss)/movie actress (“The Expendables 3”, “Furious 7”)

1994 [30] Harry Styles, Redditch England, pop singer (‘Watermelon Sugar’, One Direction-‘Story of My Life’, ‘What Makes You Beautiful’)/movie actor (“Dunkirk”, “Don’t Worry Darling”)

1994 [30] Julia Garner, The Bronx NY, TV actress (“Ozark” 2017-22, “Inventing Anna” miniseries)/movie actress (“The Assistant”) COMING UP… “Apartment 7A”

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982 [42] “Late Night With David Letterman” debuts on NBC, with Bill Murray as the first guest

2004 [20] In the infamous “Super Bowl Wardrobe Malfunction”, Justin Timberlake rips Janet Jackson’s top during the halftime show, exposing her breast. Unfairly, Jackson gets blacklisted, while Timberlake is welcomed back by the music industry and the NFL after a series of apologies

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2008 [16] NASA announces that ‘Across the Universe’ by The Beatles will become the first song ever beamed directly into space via the “Deep Space Network”

2017 [07] In an Instagram post that is liked over 8 million times in 24 hours, Beyoncé reveals she is pregnant with twins

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2009 [15] Johanna Siguroardottir is elected the first female Prime Minister of Iceland, becoming the world’s first openly gay head of government

TODAY’S SECOND . . .
2023 [01] At age 45, Tom Brady, regarded as the greatest NFL quarterback of all time, announces his re-retirement after a 23-year career, and a record 7 Super Bowl titles. His first departure came in 2022, and lasted 40 days

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2006 [18] 100-lb competitive eater Sonya Thomas chows down on 26 sandwiches in 10 minutes to win the “World Grilled Cheese Eating Championship”

2013 [11] “The Shard”, the tallest building in the UK at 309.6 metres (1,016 feet), officially opens in London

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The average person walks the equivalent of twice around the world in a lifetime.
✓ Spacesuits take 5,000 hours to make, cost 1 million dollars, weigh about 110 pounds (50kg), and have 11 layers of material.
✓ Karate actually originated in India, but was developed further in China.
✓ In Japan, it is common to put ketchup on rice.
✓ Honey is used sometimes for antifreeze mixtures and in the center of golf balls.
✓ 27,000 trees are cut down every day to supply the world’s toilet paper.
-RandomFactGenerator, TheFactSite

Best of BS . . .
BS LEAST POPULAR VALENTINE CARDS:
• “Who needs flowers when we have love?”
• “Here … I made this during halftime.”
• “Thinking of you sweetheart, which, technically, the court order can’t prevent.”
• “Just wanted to say ‘I love you’ when I wasn’t falling down drunk.”
• “If only we weren’t so closely related!”
• “Do you want to tell your wife I’m pregnant, or shall I?”
• “Hey Valentine, I’ll give you money to have sex with me.”
-First published in BS 2001

BS REASONS OUR PRODUCT IS BETTER THAN OUR COMPETITOR’S:
✓ Our celebrity spokesperson starred in some of your favorite movies, theirs is a deadbeat dad (or so we heard…).
✓ We let our 8-year-old employees have a break every 6 hours.
✓ 4-out-of-5 dentists have never filed a lawsuit against us.
✓ Our headquarters in the Caymans means we pay less taxes, and we pass the savings on to you.
✓ Companies like Boeing, Ford, GE, Viacom, and Walmart all have employees who have seen commercials for our products.
✓ Animal testing shows only slight genetic modifications.
✓ Focus-group approved, European-sounding name.
✓ The lowest percentage of rat droppings … period.
-First published in BS in 2015

BS WEB GOODIE:
He’s not wrong:  http://tinyurl.com/2zpf62s9

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The question “Fries or salad?” accurately sums up every adult decision you have to make.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the weirdest text or email you’ve ever received?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  It’s been found that 68% of adults still ask their parents for advice about THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Money

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Find a job you like, and you add 5 days to every week.