It’s Super Bull MMMCML!
WEEKEND BLOG BS:
• Since the “Directors Guild of America Awards” began in 1948 the winner has gone on to receive the ‘Best Director’ Oscar 54 times. That means Saturday’s DGA winner, “Slumdog Millionaire” director Danny Boyle, has pretty good odds of cleaning up at this year’s Academy Awards February 22nd. The rags-to-riches tale about a Mumbai slum-dweller has now won 4 major awards. It has a total of 10 Oscar nominations.
– ContactMusic.com
• A ‘significant’ amount of the profits from “Slumdog Millionaire” will be given back to the Mumbai slums where the film is set, director Danny Boyle has promised. The announcement comes in the wake of media claims last week that some of the film’s child stars, who are still living in the slums, had been exploited. The plans for a special fund will include a lump sum to be set aside for each of the children which they’ll gain access to at age 18. (If they make it.)
– “GQ”
• Word has it soccer ace David Beckham, who’s currently ‘on loan’ from the Los Angeles Galaxy to Italian team AC Milan for 3 months, will join the European club permanently while former Spice Girl wife Victoria stays in LA with their 3 young kids so they can complete school. The celeb duo has reportedly made the tough decision to live apart ‘for the good of the family’. (BS translation: Somebody needs a time-out.)
– “Sunday Mirror”
• “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell is denying reports that contestants on his reality TV shows are rewarded with skinflint contracts, insisting that all finalists go on to earn tens-of-thousands as a result of succeeding on his shows. (Enabling him to rake in tens-of-millions.)
– StarPulse.com
• 23-year-old Olympic swimming champ Michael Phelps has apparently been captured on film smoking marijuana. The 8-gold-medal swimming phenom is said to be pictured smoking a bong at a University of South Carolina party in early November. (Other party-goers were amazed at how long he could hold his breath.)
– “News Of the World”
• And soon-to-be-40 actress Jennifer Aniston has reportedly turned down $4 million to pose au naturel for “Playboy” magazine. Hugh Hefner was said to be so impressed by her steamy “GQ” photoshoot last year that he approached her with the idea. Sources claim she turned down the offer, even though there was a $10-million bonus built in if magazine sales reached a target, because the star simply isn’t interested in showing off her body. (At least, any more of it.)
– Hollyscoop.com
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Chuck” (NBC) – In an attempt to milk the distribution of millions of 3-D glasses to view ads during the Super Bowl, NBC-TV airs an episode of its comedy-drama series “Chuck” in 3-D.
• Gospel Music Hall of Fame – Dolly Parton is among this year’s inductees at a ceremony in Nashville TN. Others include singer/songwriter Michael W Smith and the Dixie Hummingbirds.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/City-TV) – Reigning “American Idol” David Cook is onstage.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Akon is the musical performer.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – She’s handed control of her $21-million fortune to her parents, meaning she can no longer make business decisions concerning her company without consulting them first. An insider says the move effectively stops her from ‘doing anything stupid’. (Again.)
• Britney Spears – She’s obtained restraining orders against former pal (some say manipulator) Sam Lutfi and one-time boyfriend, paparazzo Adnan Ghalib.
• Bruce Springsteen – In a “New York Times” interview he says he regrets giving Wal-Mart exclusive rights to retail his greatest hits compilation. Fans complained the chain’s anti-union practises conflict with Springsteen’s views, a criticism he now admits is true.
• Jennifer Hudson – The Super Bowl anthem singer is back at work, filming the music video for her new single, “If This Isn’t Love”.
• Kenny Chesney – He’s confirmed he’s moving out before ever moving in to a $5.7-million, 7,000-sq-ft home in Key West FL. Why? Media coverage circulated so many photos and details of the house, including the address, that he’d have no privacy. So the ‘For Sale’ sign is back up.
• Kid Rock – Friday night a commemorative banner was raised in the Palace of Auburn Hills saluting his record of 18 sold-out shows at the suburban Detroit venue.
• Lisa Loeb – Saturday the 1990s singer/songwriter said “I Do” to her 2-year partner Roey Hershkovitz, a music supervisor for “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC). They wed in a traditional Jewish ceremony in New York City.
• Ozzy Osbourne – Reports say he’s sent his hell-raising 24-year-old daughter Kelly to the tough boot-camp-style rehab clinic where he kicked his own addictions, the Hazelden Alcohol & Drug Rehabilitation Center in Oregon.
• Taylor Swift – The 19-year-old country star has inked a deal with the LEI fashion line to be the face of its Spring & Fall ad campaigns. Part of the agreement includes launching a Taylor Swift signature collection of sundresses for Spring. The duds are sold exclusively at Wal-Mart.
WORKOUT-LITE:
A study in the Journal of the American Medical Association says that people too lazy to exercise regularly can still get major health benefits from accumulating at least 30 minutes of moderate activity each day. So what counts as ‘moderate activity’? Climbing a couple flights of stairs, playing with children, gardening, or cleaning the house. (Then there’s those TV remote lifts, pushing-up off the couch, opening the fridge door…)
– ANI Science & Health
CELLPHONE SAFETY:
You might have thought that giving your child a cellphone would increase his or her safety but the latest research claims that more children are getting hit by cars because they’re too busy chatting, texting, or playing games on their phones. Although there isn’t yet any hard data to support the contention, a simulated study has found that children talking on their phones or texting are 43% more likely to be hit by a vehicle. (Either talk the talk or walk the walk … but not both!)
– Reuters
FAVORITE MOVIE ACTORS 2009:
A just-released Harris Poll ranks our all-time favorites in film …
1. Denzel Washington (3rd year in-a-row).
2. Clint Eastwood.
3. (Tie) John Wayne (dead 30 years)/Will Smith.
5. Harrison Ford.
6. Julia Roberts.
7. Tom Hanks.
8. Johnny Depp.
9. (Tie) Angelina Jolie/Morgan Freeman.
– World Entertainment News Network
I CAN’T, MOM. IT’S NOT HEALTHY!
Research at the UK’s Kingston University concludes that an unmade bed is not only unappealing to the eyes but also unappealing to dust mites, which are thought to cause asthma and other allergies. The average bed can be home to as many as 1.5 million dust mites, and when a bed is made, it traps moisture in the sheets and mattress – ideal conditions for the pests. The bed bugs apparently have a harder time surviving in the drier conditions of an unmade bed. (So there’s your excuse, kids … you’re welcome!)
– BBC News
TATTOO YOU:
The 3 best things about good tattoos are the same as those for good real estate – location, location, location. The most popular places on men are the arm, shoulder, upper back, and calf.
For women, the favorite locales are the small of the back, on the bikini line, and the ankle. For both sexes, the most painful areas are behind the knees, between the toes, the spine, the inner arms, the middle of the sternum, and the top of feet & hands. The least painful are the outer part of the forearm, the shoulder, and the buttocks. (Actually, the biggest pain is in the wallet … when you want to get rid of all the pretty pictures later on.)
– “Globe & Mail”
ENGLISH-TO-E.T. DICTIONARY:
A British professor claims to have invented a program which will be the first step in deciphering an alien language if we ever meet any extraterrestrials. The software would compare the new language to the patterns of 60 human languages in order to begin the deciphering, then break down the language into words and sentences and, eventually, nouns and verbs. (Unfortunately, by the time he figures it all out the entire planet will have been vaporized.)
– “Telegraph”
DID YOU KNOW?
• On average, we use 8.6 sheets of bathroom tissue per trip to the washroom, a total of 57 sheets per day according to industry statistics.
– GreatFacts.com
• The remnants of birds hit by, or flying into, airplanes are called ‘snarge’.
– Popbitch.com
SHE SAID IT:
“I’m not attracted to him, he’s too old for me. Nothing ever happened and nothing ever will.”
– Movie actress Evan Rachel Wood, categorically denying to Rollingstone.com that she is romantically connected to creepy actor Mickey Rourke, her co-star in “The Wrestler”.
BS CHRONOMETER 02.02.09
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [67] Graham Nash, Blackpool UK, oldies singer (Crosby, Stills & Nash-“Suite: Judy Blue Eyes”, Hollies-“Bus Stop”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1997)
1949 [60] Ross Valory, San Francisco CA, classic rock bassist (Journey-“Faithfully”, “Open Arms”)
1966 [43] Robert DeLeo, Glen Ridge NJ, rock bassist (Stone Temple Pilots-“Days Of The Week”, “Lady Picture Show”)
1975 [34] Todd Bertuzzi, Sudbury ON, NHL forward (Calgary Flames)
1977 [32] Shakira (Ripoll), Barranquilla, Columbia, pop singer (f/Wyclef Jean-“Hips Don’t Lie”, “Whenever, Wherever”)/philanthropist FACTOID: Shakira is Arabic for ‘full of grace’.
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Candlemas Day”, celebrated in Catholic & Orthodox churches. In Mexico, it’s known as “Dia de la Candelaria”, a big day for bullfights and fiestas.
• “Groundhog Day”, when we gullibly rely on a normally hibernating underground rodent to indicate whether we’ll have a so-called ‘second winter’. The groundhog is pulled out of its electrically heated burrow circa 7:25 am EST, looks for its shadow and utters a prediction to a Groundhog Club representative in ‘groundhogese’. The rep then translates the prediction for the general public. And people have been buying into this for 120-plus years! Disparagers note that groundhogs (or ‘woodchucks’) are true hibernators in real life who would never see their shadow on February 2nd because … they’re sleeping soundly.
NET: http://www.groundhog.org/
• “Imbolc” (pronounced ‘IHM-bulk’), the ancient Wiccan festival also known as ‘Candlemas’, ‘Brighid’ (‘breed’), or ‘Oimelc’ (‘EE-mulk’) which means ewe’s milk. The celebration signals the middle of the season of long nights and anticipates the upcoming season of light. Celebrants make ‘Corn Maidens’ from corn & wheat and place them in a cradle known as a ‘Bride’s Bed’.
• “Men’s Grooming Day”. Yeah it’s here again already, your annual day to clean up your act.
• “World Wetlands Day”, observed annually since 1997 to raise awareness among governments, non-governmental organizations, and the public at large of the ecological values and benefits of the world’s wetlands. (Formerly known as ‘swamps’.)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1912 [97] Using a parachute, Frederick Law jumps from the torch of NYC’s Statue of Liberty in the first-ever movie stunt
2000 [09] Oprah Winfrey’s new female-targeted ‘Oxygen’ TV network debuts
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1979 [30] Sid Vicious of punk rock band the Sex Pistols dies of a heroin overdose at a party celebrating … his completion of a detox program
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1964 [45] 1st ‘GI Joe’ is marketed (they’re called ‘action figures’ because it’s thought there’s no market for guys and ‘dolls’)
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] 50th anniversary of ‘The Day the Music Died’
[Wed] “All Access Grammy Special” (CBS)
[Thurs] Weatherman’s Day
[Fri] Pay-a-Compliment Day
[Fri] Wear Red Day (Women’s Heart Health Day)
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Boy Scout Anniversary Week / Children’s Authors & Illustrators Week / International Coaching Week / International Hoof Care Week / International Networking Week / International Snow Sculpting Week / Patient Recognition Week / Publicity for Profit Week / Solo Diners Eat Out Week / Women’s Heart Week
BULL’S BITS
BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 15 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
OTHER BS INDICATIONS OF A REALLY LONG WINTER:
Besides watching rodents as they’re coerced from their holes with electric prods, a few other ways to determine that Winter will be long …
• You’ve had no feeling in your big toe since November.
• You can see your breath … in your bedroom.
• You have to take the dog for a drag.
• Whenever there’s a house fire, people run in.
• Look at a calendar, twit!
GROUNDHOG DAY HAIKU:
It is winter
The groundhog sees a shadow
It is the front tire of my truck
There will be 6 more weeks of winter
But not for the groundhog
BS RANDOM JOKE:
To avoid the flu this winter, take vitamin C … to Barbados.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What was the worst job you ever had and why?
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
A ‘hand’ is the official name for a group of what?
a. Pigeons.
b. Cowboys.
c. Bananas. [CORRECT. A cluster of bananas is called a hand.]
d. Fingers.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Experts say that only 1-in-10 of us is unable to do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Carry a tune.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.