The Bull Sheet

February 6, 2015

Friday, February 6, 2015        Edition: #5392

Sheet Rocks!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Jennifer Hudson is set to reunite with her “Winnie Mandela” co-star Terrence Howard on his new FOX-TV drama “Empire”. Howard played Nelson Mandela opposite Hudson, who portrayed wife Winnie, in the 2011 biopic, and they will re-team when she makes a guest appearance on his new TV show that centers on a conniving rap music mogul. The drama, written & produced by filmmaker Lee Daniels, already has a star-studded lineup of guest stars, including Courtney Love, Cuba Gooding Jr, Naomi Campbell, and Rita Ora.
– ContactMusic.com
★ Things sure have changed since her first book! Thanks to pre-orders, 88-year-old Harper Lee’s 2nd novel in 55 years, “Go Set a Watchman”, is already an Amazon ‘Best-Seller’ 5 months ahead of its publication. The book is a sequel to her 1960 Pulitzer Prize winner “To Kill a Mockingbird”, set 20 years later in the 1950s but still centering around the perspective of ‘Scout’, now a grown woman. Lee actually wrote “Go Set a Watchman” first, but never released it. A huge first printing of 2 million copies is scheduled ahead of its July 14th release.
– NPR.org
★ And Kim Kardashian seems to be on a mission to single-handedly save the flagging magazine publishing industry. Not quite 3 months after Kim attempted to ‘break the Internet’ with her nude shots in “Paper” magazine, she’s back at it again with another full-frontal shot for “Love” magazine. The photo was leaked intentionally this week and features Kardashian greased up in oil and extremely tanned. She’s wearing eyeglasses and an unzipped sweater that is exposing … well … everything. Just like before. Yawn.
– QMI agency

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “BAFTA Film Awards” (BBC1) – Sunday Stephen Fry hosts the annual British Academy of Film & Television Arts movie honors in London. Wes Anderson’s comedy farce “The Grand Budapest Hotel” leads nominations with 11, followed by “Birdman” and “The Theory of Everything” with 10 apiece; and then “The Imitation Game” with 9.
NET: http://www.bafta.org/film/awards
• DGA Awards (Los Angeles) – Jane Lynch hosts the 67th annual Directors Guild of America awards dinner on Saturday. Nominations for ‘Outstanding Directorial Achievement’ include Alejandro G Iñárritu (“Birdman”); Clint Eastwood (“American Sniper”); Morten Tyldum (“The Imitation Game”); Richard Linklater (“Boyhood”); and Wes Anderson (“The Grand Budapest Hotel”).
NET: http://www.dga.org/Awards/Annual.aspx
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Hozier (“Hozier”).
• “Grammy Awards” (CBS) – Sunday LL Cool J returns to host for a 4th year in-a-row as the 57th annual music honors are handed out at LA’s Staples Center. Nominations are led by Beyoncé (now most Grammy-nominated woman in history), Pharrell Williams, and Sam Smith with 6 each. Performers include AC/DC, Ariana Grande, Eric Church, Kanye West, Katy Perry, Madonna, Miranda Lambert, Pharrell Williams, and Usher. Special duet performances by Adam Levine & Gwen Stefani; Beck w/Chris Martin; Brandy Clark & Dwight Yoakam; Ed Sheeran w/ELO; Hozier w/Annie Lennox; Jessie J w/Tom Jones; and Lady Gaga & Tony Bennett.
NET: http://www.grammy.com
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight ZZ Top (“The Complete Studio Albums”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight The Melvins (“Hold It In”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show” (CBS/Omni 1) – Tonight Ed Sheeran (“X”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Kid Ink (“Full Speed”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Tonight Bob Mould (“Beauty & Ruin”).
• MusiCares Person Of the Year (Los Angeles) – Tonight the 25th annual Grammy weekend benefit gala honors Bob Dylan. Tributes by Alanis Morissette, Beck, Black Keys, Bonnie Raitt, Bruce Springsteen, Crosby, Stills & Nash, Eddie Vedder, Jack White, Jackson Browne, John Mellencamp, Neil Young, Norah Jones, and Willie Nelson. Former US president Jimmy Carter personally presents the award.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Today LL Cool J (“Grammy Awards”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Jennifer Lopez (“American Idol”). Rerun.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Gwen Stefani – This weekend in Los Angeles she does her first solo gig in 6 years. Saturday she plays the Orpheum as part of MasterCard’s “Priceless Surprise” campaign, the ads for which she has appeared in. She is expected to release her 3rd solo album later this year.
• One Direction – Saturday they begin a stadium tour of Australia, playing open-air venues in each of the 5 big markets. The “On the Road Again 2015 Tour” begins with 2 nights in Sydney, then hits Brisbane, Melbourne, Adelaide, and Perth.
• Queen – 67-year-old Brian May is said to be considering a political run as an independent candidate in the upcoming UK general election. His agent tells “The Mirror” that May is frustrated by “a system that he sees as failing the electorate”.
• Sam Smith – The Brit pop star tells “Entertainment Tonight” he tends to avoid show biz parties because he finds celebrities can be ‘judgmental’. One exception he made was Taylor Smith’s 25th birthday bash in December, which he says was “amazing”.
• Taylor Swift – “1989” is at #1 once again on the latest ‘Billboard 200’ chart for a 10th non-consecutive week. She’s now second to Whitney Houston as the only women with multiple albums that spent at least 10 weeks at #1.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Jupiter Ascending” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): Written & directed by the Wachowski siblings, this pic is framed as a ‘space opera’. Mila Kunis stars as a struggling janitor who is shocked to learn from a galactic warrior (Channing Tatum) that her fate can change the universe. Co-stars Sean Bean and breakthrough actor Eddie Redmayne (“The Theory of Everything”).
NET: http://www.jupiterascending.com/index.php
• “Seventh Son” ( PG-13 Fantasy Adventure ): For many years, the 7th son of a 7th son (Jeff Bridges) has protected his country from all manner of things that go bump in the night. Now he’s seeking an apprentice to carry on. His last hope is a young farmer’s son (Ben Barnes). Does he stand a chance against the most dangerous witch in the county (Julianne Moore)?
NET: http://seventhson.legendary.com
• “The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water” ( PG Animated Adventure ): In this follow-up to the long-running TV series and 2004 movie, SpongeBob leaves Bikini Bottom on a quest to discover a stolen recipe that takes him to our physical, non-animated world, where he tangles with a pirate. Voice cast includes Antonio Banderas, Bill Fagerbakke, Tom Kenny.
NET: http://www.spongebobmovie.com
• Opening in limited release: “Ballet 422” (Documentary).

PROPER NAMES OF BODILY FUNCTIONS:
Like everyone else, you do it … but do you know what to call it?
• Borborygmi – A rumbling in the stomach.
• Cachinnation – A fit of spontaneous, uproarious, unrestrained laughter.
• Deglutition – The act of swallowing.
• Eructation – The medical term for burping, while the burp itself is called a ructus.
• Lachrymation – Shedding tears, which are produced in the lachrymal glands.
• Mastication – Chewing.
• Nictitation – Blinking or winking.
• Pandiculation – A catchall term for things you do when tired or just waking up, such as yawning, stretching, cracking joints, etc.
• Rhinorrhoea – When your nose runs.
• Sternutation – A sneeze or a sneezing fit.
– Condensed from MentalFloss.com

CELEB COUPLES YOU HAD NO IDEA DATED:
Some mind-blowing matchmaking from Hollywood days past …
• Singer Rihanna & increasingly weird actor Shia LaBeouf.
• Famous-for-nothing Kim Kardashian & former 98 Degrees boy-band singer Nick Lachey.
• “22 Jump Street” actor Channing Tatum & troubled former actress Amanda Bynes.
• Actress/dancer Jenna Dewan (now Mrs. Channing Tatum) & singer Justin Timberlake.
• Jessica Biel (now Mrs Justin Timberlake) & Chris Evans (“Avengers: Age of Ultron”).
• Actors Leonardo DiCaprio & Blake Lively (now Mrs Ryan Reynolds).
• Actor Ryan Reynolds & singer Alanis Morissette.
• Actors Ryan Gosling (34) & Sandra Bullock (50).
• Rap impresario Jay Z & “Sin City” actress Rosario Dawson.
• Jamie Dornan (“50 Shades of Grey”) & Keira Knightley (“The Imitation Game”).
• Movie star Tom Cruise & TV star Sofia Vergara (“Modern Family”).
• Henry Cavill (“Man of Steel”) & Kaley Cuoco (“The Big Bang Theory”).
– Sourced from Cosmopolitan.com

BS AMAZING FACT:
In 2004, 24% of households in China owned a fridge. 10 years later this had shot up to 88%.
– BBC News

BS CHRONOMETER 02.06.15


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1962 [53] Axl Rose (William Rose Jr), Lafayette IN, rock singer (Guns N Roses-“Chinese Democracy”, “Sweet Child O’ Mine”)

1962 [53] Richie McDonald, Lubbock TX, country singer (“How Do I Just Stop”, Lonestar-“Tell Her”)

1964 [51] Gordon Downie, Amherstview ON, rock singer (Tragically Hip-“Bobcaygeon”, “New Orleans Is Sinking”)

1966 [49] Rick Astley, Newton-le-Willows UK, 1980s pop singer (“Never Gonna Give You Up”, “Together Forever”) who enjoyed a brief resurgence thanks to the Internet meme ‘Rickrolling’

1973 [42] Amy Robach, St Joseph MI, TV news anchor (“Good Morning America”)

SATURDAY –
TV/movie actor James Spader (“The Blacklist”) is 55; Country singer Garth Brooks (“Man Against Machine”) is 53; Classic rock keyboardist David Bryan (Bon Jovi) is 53; Movie actor/comedian Chris Rock (“Grown Ups”) is 50; Rock guitarist Wes Borland (Limp Bizkit) is 40; Rock bassist Tom Blankenship (My Morning Jacket) is 37; TV actor Ashton Kutcher (“Two-And-a-Half Men”) is 37.

SUNDAY –
Author John Grisham (“Gray Mountain”) is 60; Rock singer Vince Neil (Motley Crue) is 54; Rock guitarist Keith Nelson (Buckcherry) is 46; House musician Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo (Daft Punk) is 41; Rock bassist Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell (Linkin Park) is 38; Rock bassist Jeremy Davis (Paramore) is 30.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Canadian Maple Syrup Day”, initiated in 2010 to celebrate the upcoming ‘running of the sap’. About 75% of the world’s supply of maple syrup is produced in the province of Québec.
NET: http://maplesyrupday.webs.com/
• “Frozen Yogurt Day”, honoring the alternative to ice cream that has (slightly) less sugar. And the best fro-yo topping is …?
NET: http://www.food.com/food-holidays/frozen-yogurt-day-0206
• “Reggae Day”, in celebration of the spirit of the music made popular worldwide by Bob Marley, who was born on this day in 1945 (died May 11, 1981). It’s celebrated as “Bob Marley Day” in Rastafarianism (Jamaica and Ethiopia).
• “Waitangi Day” in New Zealand (aka “New Zealand Day”), commemorating the signing of an 1840 treaty between Maori chiefs and the British. The national holiday is on Monday.
• “Wear Red Day”, the 12th annual observance on the 1st Friday of February, created by the Heart Association to raise awareness about heart disease, the #1 cause of death among women in North America.

SATURDAY –
• “Ballet Day”, an annual celebration of the artistic dance-form that keeps people on their toes.
• “Dump Your Significant Jerk Day”, the beginning of “Dump Your Significant Jerk Week”, when you’re encouraged to terminate your jerk relationship before “Valentine’s Day”, thereby saving the money and awkwardness involved in faking romance.
• “Fettuccine Alfredo Day”, an annual appreciation of the pasta dish that involves tossing fettuccine noodles with heavy cream & cheese. (Which sits in your stomach like a bowling ball.)
NET: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/national-fettuccine-alfredo-day
• “Ice Cream for Breakfast Day”, a tongue-in-cheek holiday on the 1st Saturday of February intended to brighten up the dreary days of Winter.
• “Take Your Child To the Library Day”, the 4th annual event when many libraries plan special family-oriented events.
• “Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day” … instead of just the middle one. (And they’ll be wondering, “What the heck does that idiot want now?”)

SUNDAY –
• “Autism Sunday”, observed annually on the 2nd Sunday of February, a day of awareness for Autism & Asperger Syndrome, which affects an estimated 60 million people around-the-world.
• “Laugh & Get Rich Day”, in recognition of laughter’s power to add to the bottom line. It’s claimed that people who laugh a lot are more effective and tend to remember things better.
• “Opera Day”, for those who like listening to every word of a story being sung. (Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.)
• “World Marriage Day”, an annual recognition of married couples on the 2nd Sunday of February, with particular attention focused on those married longest.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [12] ABC-TV’s “20/20” features Martin Bashir’s Brit TV documentary “Living With Michael Jackson” in which he admits he has ‘sleep-overs’ with young boys

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2011 [04] At Super Bowl 45 in Dallas TX, Christina Aguilera makes headlines by forgetting the lyrics during her rendition of the pre-game anthem (Green Bay Packers defeat Pittsburgh Steelers 31-25)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1952 [63] Queen Elizabeth II ascends to the British throne (she will surpass Queen Victoria’s record as longest-serving British monarch on September 10, 2015)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1990 [25] Steve Briers recites the lyrics of Queen’s album “A Night At the Opera” backwards in 9 minutes 58.44 seconds on BBC 4 in London, a world record for ‘backwards talking’

2005 [10] At Super Bowl 39 in Jacksonville FL, New England Patriots captured their 2nd straight and 3rd Super Bowl win in 4 seasons with a 24-21 victory over Philadelphia Eagles

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Stop Bullying Day
[Mon] Read In the Bathtub Day
[Tues] Extraterrestrial Visitor Day
[Wed] Get Out Your Guitar Day
[Wed] Pro Sports Wives Day
[Wed] Satisfied Staying Single Day
This Week Is … Boy Scout Anniversary Week
This Month Is … Jobs in Golf Month

BULL’S BITS


BS EVENTS AT THIS WEEKEND’S LOCAL WINTER CARNIVAL:
✓ “Mr & Mrs Chapped Lips Competition”
✓ “Best Hat-Head Contest”
✓ “The Skate to Open Water Race”
✓ “The Luke-Warm Chocolate Chug-a-Lug”
✓ “The Rip Your Tongue from a Frozen Fence Contest”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Sometimes I think that this world is just another planet’s hell.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
New stats show we purchased 55% more of these in 2014 than we did in 2013. What?
a. Ukuleles [CORRECT. Sales in the UK alone doubled to 250,000 a year.]
b. ‘Smart’ kitchen appliances.
c. Blue jeans with ripped out knees.
– Telegraph.co.uk

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What food item has been lurking in the back of your refrigerator for more than a year?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Doing THIS feels as good as winning money, according to a new survey.
Answer: Reading or hearing celebrity gossip.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

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