Wednesday, February 9, 2011        Edition: #4443
Sheeters Always Prosper!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Former “Frasier” star Kelsey Grammar & estranged wife Camille have apparently reached a deal for a quickie divorce and the settlement could be signed as soon as tomorrow (just in time – Kelsey’s scheduled to wed wife #4, Kayte Walsh, at the end of the month) . . . Word has it Simon Cowell’s upcoming US version of his “X Factor” talent show will include a $5-million record deal as part of the grand prize (he’s so out to run “American Idol” into the ground) . . . 18-year-old Miley Cyrus has been spotted cuddling up with 22-year-old Josh Bowman, her castmate in the now shooting film “So Undercover” who formerly dated singer Amy Winehouse (seems he likes trouble) . . . Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II has enjoyed a private screening of “The King’s Speech” and was ‘moved’ by the film, at least according to producer the Weinstein Company (“My word, Philip! Who’s that little guttersnipe playing me as a child?”) . . . 35-year-old actress Eva Longoria seems to have quickly forgotten about her NBA-player ex, Tony Parker, as she’s been spotted cruising aboard a yacht in Miami FL with Eduardo Cruz, brother of actress Penelope Cruz, who’s 10 years younger (Longoria’s no longer “Desperate Housewives” material – she should be on “Cougar Town”!) . . .  32-year-old Oscar-nominated actor James Franco (“127 Hours”) is in talks to develop a feature film & stage play about the 1977-84 TV sitcom “Three’s Company” (in between teaching a college course, hosting the Oscars, and writing/directing/starring in numerous other projects) . . . And Fergie has come to Christina Aguilera’s defence over Xtina’s Super Bowl anthem flub, saying ‘you get nervous at these things … we’re human’ (Aguilera has yet to come to the defence of Black Eyed Peas’ half-time performance in return).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Ray LaMontagne (“God Willin’ & The Creek Don’t Rise”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Justin Bieber (“Never Say Never – The Remixes”); James Blunt (“Some Kind Of Trouble”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Ke$ha (“Cannibal”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Mini Mansions (“Mini Mansions”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Cowboy Junkies (“Demons”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Elton John & Leon Russell (“The Union”).
• “Live to Dance” (CBS) – The winning act is announced on the finalé of Paula Abdul’s dance competition series.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Adam Lambert (“For Your Entertainment”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – John Legend (“Wake Up!).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Ricky Martin (“Musica + Alma + Sexo”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bon Jovi – Tonight their  “Live 2011” tour begins in University Park PA. Meantime, Jon Bon Jovi is said to be interested in purchasing 15% of the NFL’s Atlanta Falcons. ESPN reports the tab would run to about $150 million.
• Brad Paisley – He’ll perform on the “Daytona 500 Pre-Race Show” (FOX), leading up to the start of the 53rd annual classic at Daytona International Speedway on February 20th.
• Chris Young – “Voices” has become the 3rd consecutive #1 country single from his sophomore album “The Man I Want To Be”.
• Elton John – It’s official, says “The Guardian”. Zachary, the baby son of Elton John & David Furnish will refer to his parents as ‘Daddy’ & ‘Papa’ respectively once he gurgles his first words.
• Taylor Swift – Tonight her “Speak Now World Tour 2011” kicks off in Singapore. The massive trek includes some 87 shows in 19 countries spanning 4 continents. The North American leg begins May 27th in Omaha NE.

AMAZING NEW DISCOVERY:
Pennsylvania State & University of Nebraska researchers have conducted a study in which they asked college undergraduate students to leer at members of the opposite sex. It was found that when women are ogled by strange men, their performance on math tests are worse compared to those not ogled. On the other hand, when men were leered at by strange women, their performance seems unaffected. The conclusion: An objectifying gaze subtracts from women’s math abilities. (Next in this series of useful studies: ‘A Comparison of the Effects of Groping’.)
– Chronicle.com

BS BUZZWORDS:
New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Data Exhaust’ – The digitally trackable or storable actions, choices, and preferences that people generate as they go about their daily lives.
• ‘Patent Cliff’ – A sharp drop in revenue that a company experiences when a lucrative patent expires.
• ‘Vigilante Consumer’ – A person not connected with the police or other legal authorities who exposes or seeks to punish companies that engage in illegal or unethical activities.

SECRET ROMANTICS:
Men enjoy romantic comedies as much as women, according to University of Kansas research. A study of dating couples found that, even though men complain about watching so-called ‘chick flicks’, they afterward admit to liking them. Surprisingly, when the report dove even deeper, it also found that men preferred romantic, mushy scenes more than raunchy ones. (That’s because they were interviewed coming out of theaters … with their girlfriends.)
– AP

STUPIDEST JOB INTERVIEW QUESTIONS:
One ranking of the most useless questions used to grill potential personnel …
• Tell me about yourself. (Could you be more vague?)
• What’s your greatest weakness? (Submitting to your dumb questions.)
• Where do you see yourself in 5 years? (Not in this hell-hole.)
• Tell me about a professional conflict you had and how you resolved it. (I offed the boss.)
• Why do you want to work here? (Uh, I need a job.)
(So what’s the dumbest job interview question you’ve ever been asked?)
– TheOatmeal.com

RACE TO THE ER:
About 7,500 runners took part in last weekend’s 7th annual “Krispy Kreme Challenge” at North Carolina State University in Raleigh NC. The rules are simple and stomach-churning: run for 2 miles, eat a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts and then run back along the same 2 miles. That’s 4 miles of running to burn off about 2,400 calories. Ironically, the annual event is a fundraiser … for a children’s hospital. (There’s the solution to better healthcare …. encourage people to wolf down 90,000 doughnuts.)
– “Globe & Mail”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 69% of us are not honest when it comes to social networking sites.
• 55% of women & 45% of men are dissatisfied with their appearance.
• 33% of people turn to the right when they kiss.
• 26% of university students have snooped through their roommate’s cellphone.
• 20% of us don’t have any interest in Valentines Day whatsoever.
• 3% of single women have made a life decision based on their horoscope.

WOMB WITH A VIEW:
The Corallium Spa in the Canary Islands has installed a new treatment room designed to simulate life … as an unborn child. ‘The Womb Room’ is designed to recreate the beginning of life. The entrance to the room is a passageway lined with pink carpet; while the treatment room itself revolves slowly to simulate a giant umbilical cord. The low-lit room is filled with blood-colored water beds designed to emulate the amniotic sac. Music, described by the spa as ‘breathy’, is piped into the room to recreate the noises heard inside the womb. (What’s on the menu? Pickles & peanut butter?)
– “Daily Telegraph”

POSITIONING FOR PASSION:
Occasional “BS” contributor Robyn Bentley, the ‘Feng Shui Diva’, offers these tips for adding some zip to your love life …
• Sleep in Your ‘Love Luck’ Direction – Find your feng shui position and always sleep that way.
• Display Symbols of Love & Pairs of Things – Sculpture or painting of a couple, 2 hearts, flowers, candles, etc.
• Display Happy Couple Photos – Make sure you both like them and they’re from happy moments.
• A Bed for 2 With 2 Bedside Tables & Lamps – Set up your bedroom for 2 even if you’re single.
• Scents for Romance – Make sure you both like the way your bedroom smells … vanilla, cinnamon, lavender or your favorite.
– FengShuiDiva.com

FOR THE RECORD:
Long distance runner Stefaan Engels has set a new world record by completing a marathon every day … for a year. The 49-year-old from Belgium finished his final race in Barcelona, Spain on the weekend after running 15,000 km (9,569 miles) across 7 countries in 365 days. His ‘Marathon of Marathons’ now holds the record for number of marathons run in-a-row. The previous record was by 65-year-old Akinori Kusuda of Japan, who ran 52 consecutive marathons in 2009. (How wimpy by comparison.)
– TIME.com:

DID YOU KNOW?
• The venom of the Australian funnel-web spider can kill a person in less than an hour, and its fangs can bite right through a shoe.
– “Discover Magazine”
• The harmonica is the best-selling musical instrument in the world.
– AnswerBag.com

THE BULL SHEET 02.09.11

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1936 [75] Stompin’ Tom Connors, Saint John NB, Canadian icon (“The Hockey Song”) who’s written more than 300 tunes and recorded some 40 albums

1942 [69] Carole King, NYC, oldies singer/songwriter (w/James Taylor-“Live At the Troubadour”)

1943 [68] Joe Pesci, Newark NJ, movie actor (“Casino”, Academy Award-“Goodfellas”)

1963 [48] Travis Tritt, Marietta GA, country singer (“Love Of a Woman”, “Best of Intentions”)

1976 [35] Chad Wolf, Charleston SC, pop singer (Carolina Liar-“I’m Not Over”, “Show Me What I’m Looking For”)

1979 [32] Richard On, Rockville MD, rock singer/guitarist (OAR-“Shattered [Turn the Car Around]”, “This Town”)

1979 [32] Zhang Ziyi, Beijing, China, movie actress (“Memoirs Of a Geisha”, “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon”)  UP NEXT: A live-action version of “Mulan”, currently in production.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bagels & Lox Day”, a food holiday celebrating the deli favorite that involves topping a fresh-baked bagel with salmon fillet that has been cured.

• “Develop Alternative Vices Day”, a day to change your habits and improve yourself.

• “Read In the Bathtub Day”, an excuse to luxuriate in a steamy tub with a great novel. (On your eReader …. zap!)

• “Stop Bullying Day”, the kickoff of “Stop Bullying Week”, when schools are encouraged to conduct classes on how to stop bullying in schools & neighborhoods. Sponsored by Hey UGLY (Unique Gifted Lovable You).
NET: http://www.heyugly.org

• “Toothache Day” in honor of the feast day of St Apollonia, patron saint of dentists and those suffering from toothaches.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1893 [118] Artist model ‘Mona’ slowly disrobes during a beauty contest at the Moulin Rouge in Paris, France … thereby creating the ‘Striptease’

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1964 [47] Some 74 million viewers tune in to watch the first appearance by The Beatles on CBS-TV’s “Ed Sullivan Show”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1895 [116] 1st ‘College Basketball Game’ as Minnesota State School of Agriculture trounces Hamline College ‘Porkers’ 9-3 (heart-stopping action!)

1966 [45] 1st ‘NHL Expansion’ announced, to 6 American markets – LA, Minnesota, Oakland, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, and St Louis)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1992 [19] World’s ‘Fastest Yodeller’ records 22 tones in a single second (Thomas School, Germany)

1997 [14] 1st NHL coach to win 1,000 games (Scotty Bowman, Detroit Red Wings)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] “The Eagle”; “Gnomeo & Juliet”; “Just Go With It”; “Justin Bieber: Never Say Never” open in movie theaters
[Fri] BAFTA Awards (London UK)
[Fri] Pro Sports Wives Day
[Fri] Shut-in Visitation Day
[Fri] Satisfied Staying Single Day
[Sat] Darwin Day
This Week Is … Consumer Protection Week
This Month Is … International Boost Self-Esteem Month

BULL’S BITS

BS MOVIE SEQUELS WE DON’T WANNA SEE:
There’s talk that “Sex & The City” mastermind Michael Patrick King wants to do a prequel movie, with Blake Lively starring as a young ‘Carrie’. We say “Sex & The City 3-D” (or any title similar) is a rotten idea for a follow-up film, as well as these …
• “Lord Of the Rings: The Return Of the King’s Speech”
• “A Country for Old Men”
• “Harry Potter: Getting Blood From a Stone”
• “Men In Black Swan”
• “Rush Hour 4: Public Transit”
• “The Chronicles of Narnia 4: The Lion, The Witch & The Devil Wears Prada”
• “Paul Blart Jr: Hall Monitor”
• “The 90-Year Old Virgin”
• “Bridget Jones’ Blackberry”

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s your little trick to calm a crying baby?

BS WHYZITS:
• Whyzit there is ‘artificial meat’ for vegetarians but no ‘artificial vegetables’ for carnivores? (‘Tofurkey’ is disgusting. ‘Baconroccoli’ would be delicious!)
• Whyzit when you stand on your head your face turns red but when you stand on your feet your legs don’t?
• Whyzit when a lawyer writes a 10,000 word document it’s called a ‘brief’?
• Whyzit bikers chain their wallets to their pants? Is anyone really stupid enough to try and pickpocket a biker?
• Whyzit women marry men hoping they will change but men marry women hoping they won’t?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
You are suffering a ‘chirospasm’. What should you do?
a. Stop Writing. [CORRECT. You’ve got writer’s cramp.]
b. Stop Walking.
c. Stop Singing.
d. Stop Breathing.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
He’ll never go where he’s told until he dies.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: In a survey of hiring managers, 71% name THIS as the top blunder job-seekers make.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Taking a call or text on their phone during the interview.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Home is where everybody goes when they get tired of being nice to people.