The Bull Sheet

February 1 2021

Monday, February 1, 2021 – Edition: #6905

Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning!


BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:

★ Apparently, “Mission: Impossible” is living up to its name. Sources working on the latest installment of the movie franchise are complaining that star Tom Cruise is continuing to be a “nightmare,” according to a report. One insider told a UK newspaper that a lot of crew members “would love to cut our losses and leave things for a while…But Tom is completely obsessed with finishing and nothing will stop him.” The source went on to say that Cruise is “the most determined person. It’s impressive, but a nightmare.” And Cruise isn’t the only issue, after production was moved out of the UK to the United Arab Emirates. Crew are worried when they’ll be able to go home, because direct flights between the Middle East and the UK are now being banned. The blockbuster has been hit with serious delays — including due to COVID-19 lockdowns — since production began in 2019.
-PageSix
★ Sarah Jessica Parker says that the “Sex and the City” reboot will make reference to the COVID-19 pandemic. Parker, who will resume her role as ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ in the upcoming series, titled “And Just Like That”, told an interviewer: “It will obviously be part of the storyline, because that’s the city (these characters) live in. And how has that changed relationships once friends disappear? I have great faith that the writers are going to examine it all.”
-Canoe
★ Nick Cannon’s daytime talk show is coming to TV screens in the fall. “Nick Cannon” was originally slated to launch last September, but those plans were put on hold in the wake of some controversial comments he made, which were widely viewed as anti-Semitic. He later issued an apology on social media, admitting his words (QUOTE) “reinforced the worst stereotypes of a proud and magnificent people and I feel ashamed of the uninformed and naive place that these words came from.”
-MSN
★ A sequel to “Cloverfield,” the 2008 sci-fi and monster movie, is in the works from producer J.J. Abrams. Cloverfield told the story of a group of young New Yorkers who embark on a rescue mission to save their friend amid a mysterious, unknown monster attack ravaging the city. The movie was notable for being shot as though it was found footage, much like “The Blair Witch Project.” A viral marketing campaign helped boost the low budget film to a gross of $172.3 million worldwide. Though “Cloverfield” spawned two movies that were part of a shared universe, the new film will be a direct sequel to the 2008 original.
-TheWrap

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Robin Wright, Chris Bianco, Bahamas featuring the Teskey Brothers
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Bryan Cranston, John Cena, Remi Wolf
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Ethan Hawke, Mickey Guyton
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Post Malone, Mary Steenburgen, Matt Cameron
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Viggo Mortensen, Quinn XCII featuring Chelsea Cutler
• “Conan” (TBS): Jay Baruchel
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Michelle Collins, Jerry O’Connell
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Anthony Anderson
• “The Talk” (CBS): Josh Lucas
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): John David Washington, Katherine Heigl, Dr. Gail Saltz
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Tracee Ellis Ross, Rita Wilson
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Leslie Odom Jr., Kelsea Ballerini, Paul O’Sullivan Band
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Marcus Samuelsson, Andie MacDowell, Jameela Jamil
• “The Bachelor” (ABC): With a rose ceremony looming, one woman finds herself in an emotional spiral; a group date showcases Matt’s country roots and reveals who is comfortable getting down and dirty.
• “The Investigation” (HBO): Six-part Scandinavian series about the real-life, headline-generating murder of Swedish journalist Kim Wall in a submarine in 2017.
• “Love & Hip Hop: It’s a Love Thing” (VH1): Chris and Vanessa Spencer host a couples-only, sexy date night bringing together beloved couples from “Love & Hip Hop” detailing how they first met and what makes their relationships tick.

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Coachella & Stagecoach — The coronavirus vaccine isn’t enough to save them for 2021. On Friday, it was announced that the festivals, scheduled to take place April 9-11 and 16-18, have been cancelled for the second year in a row. The U.K.’s Glastonbury and Miami’s Ultra Music Festival are among the other major music events that have recently been cancelled for 2021.
• The Weeknd — is making sure his Super Bowl Halftime Show will be one to remember by pouring $7 million of his own cash into the big gig. He’ll take center stage at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa Bay on Sunday, and said: “We’ve been really focusing on dialing in on the fans at home and making performances a cinematic experience, and we want to do that with the Super Bowl.”
• Justin Timberlake – revealed during a virtual appearance on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” that he has been working on a new album. Although he has already let Fallon have a sneak listen to a few new songs, he doesn’t know when the music will drop.
• Lenny Kravitz — shared an emotional tribute to his godmother, the late icon Cicely Tyson, writing: “She lived a remarkable life…A true pioneer, who bared her heart and soul so we could witness the spirit of the characters she so brilliantly portrayed, which continue to move and inspire generations.”
• Phil Collins – His ex-wife, Orianne Cevey, is selling off his stuff — cheap. Cevey – who has been going through a series of bitter legal proceedings with Collins, is auctioning off a number of items including gold records for just $100. A lot containing “Assorted Phil Collins Awards” is also $100.
• The Animals – Founding member/guitarist Hilton Valentine, died Friday at 77. He is credited with the guitar introduction to the Animals’ 1964 signature song ‘The House of the Rising Sun’, which inspired countless guitarists. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1994 with The Animals.
• 54-40 — guitarist Neil Osborne says he thought he’d never again see his missing Gibson Dove acoustic guitar, that was found by police among $70,000 worth of stolen goods. It was one of 7 guitars taken from a trailer in 2018, outside the Queen’s Park Care Centre in New Westminster, BC, before a gig.
• Jimmie Allen — released his new single ‘Freedom Was a Highway’, featuring Brad Paisley, on Friday. According to Allen, “This song takes me back to simpler moments such as an innocent, childhood crush on the next-door neighbor or feeling freedom in the wind as you drive with the windows down.” LINK:  https://youtu.be/pr9TK5_-s60
• Morgan Wallen – Friday, he released 3 new songs from “Dangerous: The Double Album.” ‘This Side Of A Dust Cloud’ and ‘Bandaid On A Bullet Hole’ are bonus tracks that had been exclusive to Target, while the third is an acoustic live version of ‘Sand on My Boots’.
• Charlie Daniels — The 2021 Volunteer Jam: A Musical Salute to Charlie Daniels, scheduled for Feb. 22, has been pushed back to Aug. 18 at Nashville’s Bridgestone Arena due to COVID. Randy Travis, Chris Young, Michael W. Smith, Lorrie Morgan, Exile and rising star Anthony Castagna have been added to the previously announced lineup, which includes Alabama, Ricky Skaggs, Trace Adkins, and many more.

SHOOTING THE BULL

REAL REAL ESTATE DEAL:
Remember that story from a few weeks ago where dilapidated homes in Italy were being offered for sale for just over a dollar? Well, if you had second thoughts about the hassle of renovating one of those ‘fixer-uppers’, one town has an offer that might just tempt you. The waterfront community of Biccari, with a view stretching to the Adriatic Coast, is selling off dilapidated homes priced at €1, but it also has bargain deals on ready-to-occupy places. Prices of empty turnkey homes start as low as €7,500 (US $9,000). Most are in the range of €10,000-€13,000 (US $12,000-16,000). The sale is part of Mayor Gianfilippo Mignogna’s mission to save his town from dwindling to nothing, after years of people leaving to pursue jobs in Italy’s cities or abroad. Biccari’s population now stands at about 2,000. There are roughly a dozen €1 and 20 “upper-scale” homes available. The mayor says the turnkey houses have been shut for years, but are habitable, and perhaps a better deal than those on sale for €1, once the cost of renovating a more dilapidated building in considered. Photos and maps of the properties will soon be put online on the town hall website. LINK: http://www.comune.biccari.fg.it/
(I’m not saying that’s a small town, but I understand they recently had it carpeted…)
(I’m guessing there won’t be a problem getting pizza delivery there…)
-CNN

ROUNDING UP THE WILDLIFE:
➢ The mythical “Bigfoot” creature has captured the imagination of adventurers for decades, and now, there may be an official season to capture HIM. A state lawmaker in Oklahoma says there should be a Bigfoot hunting season. Rep. Justin Humphrey presides over a district that includes the Ouachita Mountains, where a Bigfoot festival is held each year. He says issuing a state hunting license and tag could help draw more tourists to the area. His bill would only allow for trapping, not shooting of the ape-like creature, and he hopes to secure $25,000 to be offered as a Bigfoot bounty. (I’m sure they’ll “sasquatch” that plan pretty quickly!)
➢ (***Caution: graphic***) Wombats, which are native to Australia, are known for two things: their cuteness and their unique poop, which comes out in cubes. The fecal phenomenon has long been a mystery — until now. Researchers from Georgia Institute of Technology, the University of Tasmania and the Taronga Conservation Society dissected dead wombats, and created a model to emulate how the gut might expand and contract during digestion. They determined that after feces are dried out in the extremely long wombat colon (10 meters, or 33 feet in length), the stiff and flexible regions of the gut contract in tandem, sculpting the poop into its unique shape. (I guess it IS possible to fit a square peg through a round hole!)
-AP, HuffPost

CLOSE, BUT NO BUCCANEER:
In honor of Sunday’s Super Bowl, here are some NFL team names that were considered, but not picked…fortunately!)
✗ Cincinnati Rhinos:  Because of the city’s large German population, when it was awarded a pro team in 1966, owners almost called it the “Rhinos”, a play on Germany’s Rhine River. After it was pointed out that rhinos are fat and slow, they decided to go with “Bengals”.
✗ Seattle D. B. Coopers:  A 1975 naming contest for the new franchise brought in suggestions including “Lumberjacks”, “Abominable Snowmen”, the “Soggies” …and the “DB Coopers”, after the mysterious hijacker who jumped out of a plane over Washington in 1971. They eventually went with the “Seahawks”.
✗ Atlanta Yellow Dogs:  In 1965, the city was awarded an NFL team. The team had competition in the football programs at Georgia Tech (The “Yellow Jackets”) and University of Georgia (“Bulldogs”). To attract fans from both, the name “Yellow Dogs” was considered. Eventually a fan vote pointed to the name “Falcons”.
✗ Dallas Steers:  The Dallas expansion team was all set to begin the 1960 season when the owner realized that it might be bad optics if their mascot was the steer – a castrated male cow raised to be turned into beef. He considered “Rangers”, but didn’t want conflict with the then-minor league baseball team, so he decided on “Cowboys”.
✗ Oakland Señors:  In 1960, “Señors” was the winner of a name-the-team contest. It is thought the contest was fixed, as a joke, because the team’s co-owner, a local celeb named Chet Soda, called everyone he met “señor”. Owners decided to go with the 3rd place vote-getter: the “Raiders”.
-BathroomReadersInstitute

DID YOU KNOW?
Walking offers some impressive mental and physical benefits, but when is the best time of day to head outside? According to a study conducted by the National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, walking after your main meal provides the biggest health boost. A 20-minute hike after an evening meal can decrease the “post-meal blood-glucose spike”, improve digestion, heart health, blood sugar management, and regulate blood pressure. Plus, those who suffer from heartburn who walk after dinner instead of sitting down to relax, have a 12% lower risk of experiencing symptoms.
-CountryLiving

BS CHRONOMETER 02.01.21

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1968 [53] Pauly Shore, Los Angeles CA, movie actor (“Encino Man”, “Son in Law”, “Bio-Dome”)

1968 [53] Lisa Marie Presley, Memphis TN, pop singer (‘Lights Out’), daughter of the “King of Rock and Roll”, Elvis Presley/married to the “King of Pop”, Michael Jackson 1994-96)

1969 [52] Patrick Wilson, Buffalo NY, rock drummer (Weezer-‘Buddy Holly’, ‘Africa’)

1971 [50] Michael C Hall, Raleigh NC, TV actor (“Dexter” 2006-13, “Six Feet Under” 2001-05)/Broadway actor (“Lazarus” 2015-17)

1975 [46] Big Boi (Antwan Patton), Savannah GA, hip-hop artist (f/Kelly Rowland-‘Mama Told Me’, OutKast-‘Hey Ya!’)

1987 [34] Ronda Rousey, Riverside CA, WWE wrestler (RAW Women’s Champion 2018-19)/former MMA fighter (won 12 consecutive MMA fights, 6 in the UFC, before suffering her first loss)/movie actress (“The Expendables 4”, “Furious 7”)

1994 [27] Harry Styles, Holmes Chapel UK, boy-band singer (‘Watermelon Sugar’, One Direction-‘Story of My Life’, ‘What Makes You Beautiful’)

1994 [27] Julia Garner, The Bronx NY, TV actress (“Ozark” since 2017) COMING UP…”Inventing Anna”, 2021

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Car Insurance Day”, which commemorates the first auto insurance policy, issued to one Truman Martin of Buffalo NY on this date in 1898. It cost $11.50 (96 cents if he paid monthly)

• “Change Your Password Day”, an annual reminder that ‘123456′ is not keeping your data all that safe.

• “Spunky Old Broads Day”, dedicated to the saying ‘old girls just wanna have fun’. Spunky old broads are positive, fun, butt-kicking mature women over the age of 50 who refuse to sit back quietly and get old. Who’s the spunkiest famous old broad? Betty White?

• “G.I. Joe Day”, the name was inspired by the 1945 Robert Mitchum movie “The Story of GI Joe”. FACTOID: Hasbro invented the term ‘action figure’ because it believed boys wouldn’t play with a ‘doll’.

• “Baked Alaska Day”, made with hard ice cream on a base of sponge cake and covered in a shell of toasted meringue.

• “Robinson Crusoe Day”, commemorating the anniversary of the rescue of Alexander Selkirk on this date in 1709. He was a Scottish sailor who was banished to an uninhabited island in 1704 after a quarrel with his captain. His adventures there are said to have formed the basis for Daniel Defoe’s book “Robinson Crusoe”.

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Groundhog Day
[Tues] Crêpe Day
[Wed] National Carrot Cake Day
[Wed] The Day the Music Died
This Week Is…National Patient Recognition Week
This Month Is…National Self Check Month

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982 [39] “Late Night With David Letterman” debuts on NBC, with Bill Murray as the first guest

2004 [17] In the infamous “Super Bowl Wardrobe Malfunction”, Justin Timberlake rips Janet Jackson’s top during the halftime show, exposing her breast (leading to a year of excruciating media censorship)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2008 [13] NASA announces that ‘Across the Universe’ by The Beatles will become the first song ever beamed directly into space via the “Deep Space Network”

2017 [04] In an Instagram post that is liked over 8 million times in 24 hours, Beyoncé reveals she is pregnant with twins

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2009 [12] Johanna Siguroardottir is chosen the first female Prime Minister of Iceland, also becoming the world’s first openly gay head of a country

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2006 [15] 100-lb competitive eater Sonya Thomas chows down on 26 sandwiches in 10 minutes to win the “World Grilled Cheese Eating Championship”

2013 [08] “The Shard”, the tallest building in the UK at 309.6 metres (1,016 feet), officially opens in London

2015 [06] New England Patriots win Super Bowl 49, beating Seattle Seahawks 28-24; Patriots QB Tom Brady is named MVP and becomes 1 of only 3 quarterbacks to win 4 Super Bowls (he has won 2 more since…and maybe another this Sunday?)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ In Japan, it is common to put ketchup on rice.
✓ Karate actually originated in India, but was developed further in China.
✓ Ducks will only lay eggs early in the morning.
✓ The average home creates more pollution than does the average car.
✓ Honey is used sometimes for antifreeze mixtures and in the center of golf balls.
✓ Most burglaries occur during the daytime.
-RandomFactGenerator

Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS YOU’VE BEEN WATCHING WAY TOO MUCH FOOTBALL:

• Before sex, you flip a coin to see who will receive.
• Every time you get up from the couch, you pull a groin muscle.
• As you are hurled from your car after a high-speed collision, your first thought is, “Cool, I’m in a nice tight spiral!”
• When the kids clean up their room, you celebrate by dumping Gatorade on them.
• For the last 2 months, you’ve been wearing nothing but a cup.
• You fell in love with your girlfriend/wife because she looks like Al Michaels.
• After sex, you go for the 2-point conversion, then spike the pillow.
-First published in BS 2000

TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ I love February because it contains two of my favorite events: Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address. (One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.)
➠ Justin Timberlake turned 40 on Sunday. (He celebrated by continuing to be better than you and me at all aspects of life…)
➠ There’s a “Legally Blonde” sequel in the works. (It was either that, or just ask people to hand over their $16.50 for nothing…)
➠ Police are questioning suspects after someone stole $20k worth of detergents and cleaning supplies from Lowe’s Home Improvement. (And yes, they made a CLEAN getaway. [Rim Shot!])
➠ Phil Collins turned 70 on Saturday. (I won’t say he’s old, but these days when he sings ‘I Can’t Dance’, it’s because of his bum-hip!)

BS WEB GOODIE:
From the mouths of babes:  https://tinyurl.com/yy4uvxw2

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• In “Friends”, what was Chandler’s original job?
a) Advertising manager
b) Masseuse
c) Data analysis [CORRECT]
d) NFL quarterback

• In “Family Guy”, what is Stewie Griffin’s middle name?
a) Gilligan [CORRECT]
b) Barney
c) Woody
d) Fonzie

• Which of these is NOT a House from “Game of Thrones”?
a) Lannister
b) Tully
c) Stark
d) Clampett Mansion [CORRECT]
-TriviaCrackAnswers

BS PHONE STARTER:
What odd or surprising hobby do you keep secret?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  Only 1 in 10 people are able to do THIS in the morning. What Is it?
Answer:  Wake up on time without an alarm

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up.

 

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