The Bull Sheet

January 4 2019

Friday, January 4, 2019 – Edition: #6365

Bully For You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Carrie Ann Inaba will be Julie Chen’s replacement on “The Talk”. Inaba made her official debut on Wednesday, joining Eve, Sara Gilbert, Sharon Osbourne and Sheryl Underwood. Throughout the past two seasons, Inaba has appeared as a recurring guest co-host. Chen publicly supported Inaba in a videotaped message released the day she quit the long-running gab fest.
-Canoe
★ “The Walking Dead” was the most-pirated TV show of 2018, according to BitTorrent officials. “Game of Thrones” held the crown for the last six years, but with the eighth and final season delayed until 2019, no new episodes of the cult fantasy drama aired last year, allowing “The Walking Dead” to steal the title. The TV drama, based on the comic books of the same name, had been the second-most popular illegal download for every year since 2014.
-Canoe
★ Bob Einstein, known for his character on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and for creating “Super Dave Osborne,” has died at the age of 76. Einstein passed away Wednesday morning in Indian Wells, CA after recently being diagnosed with cancer. The actor, perhaps best known for his role of Marty Funkhouser alongside Larry David, appeared in some of the HBO show’s most memorable episodes since 2004. The Super Dave Osborne character first became known on the sketch series “Bizarre” in the 1980s and as a recurring guest on “The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson”.
-TheBlast
★ “Mean” Gene Okerlund, one of the most recognizable faces in WWE history, is dead at the age of 76. It’s unclear when Okerlund died, but WWE made the announcement on Wednesday. No cause of death was announced.  Okerland had two kidney replacements over the years, in 1995 and 2004, but had appeared to be in good health since then.
-TheBlast
★ Sheldon and Amy are headed for a major highlight on CBS’ “The Big Bang Theory”. “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” star Kal Penn and “Lord of the Rings” veteran Sean Astin have been tapped to guest star in an upcoming episode of the final season of the comedy. Penn and Astin will play a team of physicists who accidentally confirm Sheldon and Amy’s super-asymmetry theory. An airdate for the episode has not yet been determined.
-HollywoodReporter

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Amy Adams, Jeff Ross, Dave Attell, Kurt Vile (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Benedict Cumberbatch, Minka Kelly, Orlando Leyba (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Julia Roberts, Patrick Wilson (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Lin-Manuel Miranda, Colin Quinn, Richard Danielson (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Zachary Levi, Jake Johnson (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Amy Robach
• “The Talk” (CBS): Mel B
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Members of the “Live” staff share their favorite memories from 2018
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Kalen Allen
• “The Hollywood Walk of Fame Honors”(CW): Highlighting ceremonies for stars Jennifer Garner, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Tracy Morgan, N’Sync, Zoe Saldana, Gillian Anderson, Mary J. Blige, Jack Black, Mark Hamill, Cedric the Entertainer, Simon Cowell, “Weird Al” Yankovic, Eric McCormack, Carrie Underwood and a special presentation to Minnie Mouse by Katy Perry.

SATURDAY–
• “Winter Castle” (HALLMARK): Jenny is thrilled when her sister Meg decides to have a destination wedding at an ice hotel. Jenny is immediately entranced by the magical décor of the hotel and also finds herself instantly smitten with Craig, the handsome best man.
• “Vanished” (HISTORY): Docudrama about end-times prophecy.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Liev Schreiber with musical guest Lil Wayne.

SUNDAY–
• “76th Annual Golden Globe Awards” (NBC): Sandra Oh and Andy Samberg host the 76th annual awards ceremony at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills, CA. Nominees include Amy Adams, Mahershala Ali, Kristen Bell, Emily Blunt, Glenn Close, Bradley Cooper, Lady Gaga, Donald Glover and Nicole Kidman.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Mac Miller – The late rapper’s “The Mac Miller Circles Fund” has raised $700,000 since his death in September. MMCF was setup in his memory to provide funding and resources for underprivileged youths to explore the arts in his hometown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
• Justin Bieber – His face tattoo has finally been unveiled after months of secrecy. In November, celebrity tattoo artist ‘JonBoy’ said that Bieber and his wife Hailey Baldwin had visited his studio. The artist took to Instagram on Tuesday to share a photo of Bieber’s new body art – the word “Grace” in cursive writing above his right eyebrow.
• Pink – has revealed her own wine label,  “Two Wolves”, after keeping it secret for five years. Fans and connoisseurs will have to wait, though, as the first 114 cases sold out in a single day. She has been honing her winecraft since purchasing a 25-acre vineyard in Santa Barbara County five years ago with her husband Carey Hart.
• Hedley – Embattled frontman Jacob Hoggard married Canadian actress Rebekah Asselstine in Vancouver on New Year’s Eve. He is due in court on July 11 and 12 after being charged with one count of sexual interference and two counts of sexual assault causing bodily harm.
• Olivia Newton-John — Her manager has blasted reports that the “Grease” icon is “clinging on to life” in her latest battle with cancer. An article claimed that the 70-year-old is weeks away from dying and that she was holding on to see her daughter get married in the new year.
• Courtney Love — has been granted a permanent restraining order against Britney Spears’ former manager. The order against Sam Lutfi protects Love, her sister, and Love’s daughter, Frances Bean Cobain.
• Queen — Their bio-pic “Bohemian Rhapsody” will arrive on digital services Jan. 22, with the physical versions (including 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray and DVD) coming on Feb. 12. While there’s no word on what bonus features will be available, the band has partnered with three big-box retailers for exclusive content.
• Twisted Sister – is threatening to sue Australian politician Clive Palmer for using a rewritten version of their hit ‘We’re Not Gonna Take it’ in an ad without permission.  Singer Dee Snider tweeted: “No we do not endorse @PalmerUtdParty! We are contacting our legal team to address this and if that doesn’t work…I’ll be down under in three weeks to deal with it myself!”
• Toby Keith – will sing at the inauguration of the newly elected Oklahoma Governor, Kevin Stitt, on Jan. 14. Keith, an Oklahoma native, will be joined by Jimmie Allen, the Oklahoma City Philharmonic and the Cherokee Youth Choir at the Oklahoma City inaugural ball.
• Keith Urban – was joined onstage by Peter Frampton for a rendition of ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ during his Nashville New Year’s Eve concert.  The pair performed the song to pay tribute to Lynyrd Skynyrd guitarist Ed King, who died in August.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Escape Room” (PG-13, Action/Horror):  Six strangers find themselves in circumstances beyond their control, and must use their wits to survive. (Deborah Ann Woll, Taylor Russell)
• “The Vanishing” (R-Rated, Mystery/Suspense):  Three lighthouse keepers on the remote Flannan Isles find a hidden trunk of gold, leading to their mysterious disappearance. (Gerard Butler, Peter Mullan)
• “State Like Sleep” (Not Rated, Mystery/Suspense):  A woman grapples with the consequences of her celebrity husband’s double life after he commits suicide. (Katherine Waterston, Michiel Huisman)
• “Rust Creek” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery):  An overachieving college student gets lost on her way to a job interview. She must defend herself against the harsh elements and a band of ruthless outlaws. (Hermione Corfield, Denise Dal Vera)
• “American Hangman” (Not Rated, Drama):  An unidentified man posts a live feed on social media showing that he has kidnapped two strangers and intends to kill one before the day is out. His intention is to hold a capital “trial” online. (Donald Sutherland, Vincent Kartheiser)

THIS GUY WANTS TO BELIEVE:
A NASA scientist says in a new research paper that tiny aliens may have already visited us, but we didn’t know about it.  Silvano Colombano, of NASA’s Intelligent Systems Division, wrote that extraterrestrials may look different than what we expect, so we may have totally missed the fact that they dropped in. He points out that aliens may be “of an extremely tiny super-intelligent entity” and they may not even be carbon-based life forms, as humans are.  That could alter what we look for when we think about life forms from other planets.  He also points out that any potential ETs may have very different life-spans, or even a different concept of time, which could also affect our ability to detect them.
(I’m pretty sure their concept of a ‘year’ would be a bit different, yes…)
(I bet they are smart enough not to go changing their clocks twice a year, too!)
(So instead of looking for ‘little green men’, we should be looking for ‘VERY little green men’?)
-NYPost

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
➠ A Japanese company has created a backpack large enough to carry an adult.  The “Backpacker’s Closet” is so large it could also literally be used a closet.  Measuring 100 cm (40 inches) long by 68 cm (27 inches) wide, the Backpacker’s Closet features a maximum holding capacity of 180 liters (48 gallons), making it ideal for carrying a young adult. And if you’re worried about the shoulder straps snapping under the weight, don’t be. It was made for this type of thing.  It features padding and an extra middle strap to reduce stress on the wearer’s back and shoulders.  The oversized backpack is obviously going to cost more than your standard backpack, selling for around US $230 plus shipping. Nevertheless, they’ve apparently been selling like hotcakes.
(Cheaper than getting a room…)
-OddityCentral
➠ Police in Kentucky were fully aware of the irony when they were called to the scene of a donut truck fire.  And they weren’t afraid to have fun with it.  No one was injured when the Krispy Kreme driver stopped Monday after noticing smoke in the cab of his truck. The fire was quickly extinguished.  Lexington police posted photos on social media of the blackened side of the truck and officers jokingly mourning the truck’s loss. The post was accompanied by the comment, “No words.”  Other police departments chimed in to offer their condolences, including this tweet from the New York City Police Department:  “Hang tight, we are sending backup forthwith … We hope you like sprinkles.”
(Those would be EXTRA Krispy Kreme donuts…)
-CTV

DID YOU KNOW?
The Mediterranean diet has been named 2019’s best overall diet.  The rankings of 41 eating plans also gave the Mediterranean diet the top spot in several subcategories: best diet for healthy eating, best plant-based diet, best diet for diabetes and easiest diet to follow.  Numerous studies have found that the diet can reduce the risk for diabetes, high cholesterol, dementia, memory loss, depression and breast cancer. Meals from the sunny Mediterranean region have also been linked to stronger bones, a healthier heart and longer life. Oh, and weight loss, too.
-CNN

BS CHRONOMETER 01.04.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [65] Tina Knowles, Galveston TX, fashion designer (Mother of Beyoncé and Solange Knowles who became known as the head designer of the House of Dereon brand)

1960 [59] Michael Stipe, Decatur GA, retired rock singer-songwriter (REM-‘The One I Love’, ‘Losing My Religion’)

1965 [54] Julia Ormond, Epsom UK, movie actress (“My Week with Marilyn”, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”)/TV actress (“Mad Men” 2013-15)

1966 [53] Deana Carter, Nashville TN, country singer (‘How Do I Get There’, ‘Strawberry Wine’)

1989 [30] Kevin Pillar, Los Angeles CA, MLB baseball player (Toronto Blue Jays center fielder since 2013)

SATURDAY-
Movie actor Robert Duvall (“The Godfather”) is 88; TV personality Charlie Rose (“CBS This Morning”) is 77; Movie actress Diane Keaton (“Annie Hall”) is 73; TV personality Carrie Ann Inaba (“Dancing With the Stars”) is 51; Musician Marilyn Manson (‘The Dope Show’) is 50; Movie actor Bradley Cooper (“A Star is Born”) is 44; TV actress January Jones (“Mad Men”) is 41

SUNDAY-
Actor Rowan Atkinson (“Mr. Bean”) is 64; Chef Nigella Lawson (“Simply Nigella”) is 59; TV actor Norman Reedus (“The Walking Dead”) is 50; TV host Julie Chen (“Big Brother”) is 49; Movie actor Eddie Redmayne (“The Theory of Everything”) is 37

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Spaghetti Day”, celebrating the Italian pasta dish that seemingly everyone loves. Marco Polo brought the recipe for pasta back to Europe with him after his famous trip to China in the 13th century.

• “Trivia Day”, honoring those with ‘doctorates in uselessology’.
BS ‘TRIVIA DAY’ QUIZ, COURTESY OF “TRIVIA CRACK”:
► Who uttered the famous salute “Live Long and Prosper”? (“Star Trek’s” ‘Spock’)
► Who wrote the French romantic novel “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”? (Victor Hugo)
► What famous phrase is Marie Antoinette known for? (“Let them eat cake”)
► In the sport of bull riding, which hand do you ride with? (Either)
► A group of porcupines is known as what? (A ‘prickle’)

• “World Braille Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1809 birth of Louis Braille of France. In 1829, he published “Method of Writing Words, Music & Plain Song by Means of Dots, for Use by the Blind”. Today, the ‘Braille method’ is used in virtually every language as the standard form of reading and writing by those with vision-loss.

• “World Hypnotism Day”, with the objective of correcting the myths and misconceptions about hypnotism while promoting the truth and benefits of the process that helps many put aside fears, and change what they believed was unchangeable. (Not to mention bark like a dog.)
NET: http://www.worldhypnotismday.com

SATURDAY-
• “Bird Day”, an annual observance with half a million adherents who celebrate through birdwatching, studying birds, and bird adoption. Part of the idea is to educate wannabe bird owners about the special issues involved with taking care of our fine feathered friends.
• “Whipped Cream Day” (aka Crème Chantilly), celebrating the sweet fluff used to top off desserts. What’s the weirdest thing you put it on?
• “Twelfth Night”, the “Eve of Epiphany”. Tomorrow is the “Twelfth Day of Christmas” when, according to the carol, your true love should give to you ’12 drummers drumming’.  Different traditions mark the date of “Twelfth Night” on either the 5th or 6th of January.
• “Screenwriters Day”, most people think that the director created the vision for the movies they watch.  They’re often surprised when they discover that almost every movie or TV show was originally created, written, and rewritten long before the director ever heard of the project…by a screenwriter!
• “Fruitcake Toss Day”, your opportunity to finally throw away the old fruitcake. After the holidays are over, it’s time to bring in the new, and toss out the old. Today is the day that the fruitcake goes. Make it into a real event … go for distance! (Or do with it what Mother Nature intended: regift it!)

SUNDAY-
• “Cuddle Up Day”, a chance to snuggle up to someone or something on a cold Winter’s day.
• “Smith Day”, celebrating the most-common surname in the English-speaking world.
• “Take Down the Christmas Tree Day”, as the official holiday season ends today with Epiphany.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2009 [10] Led Zeppelin singer Robert Plant is voted the ‘Greatest Voice in Rock’, followed by Queen’s Freddie Mercury, and Paul Rodgers of Free and Bad Company

2012 [07] Roxy Music singer Bryan Ferry (66) weds Amanda Sheppard (29), who dated Ferry’s son for a brief time

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1863 [156] 4-wheeled roller skates patented by James Plimpton of NY

1996 [23] 1st ‘Live Rock Concert on the Internet’ features Deborah Harry, Joan Jett, Joey Ramone, The Lunachicks

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1975 [44] Ice thickness measured at 4776 m, at Wilkes Land, Antarctica

2010 [09] The Burj Khalifa, ‘World’s Tallest Building’ (828 m or 2,717 ft), is officially opened in Dubai UAE

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ 91% people skip the first slice of bread, just because it’s ugly.
✓ The human body was designed to get 4 hours of sleep twice per day, rather than 8 hours of sleep all at once.
✓ Watching a horror movie can burn up to 200 calories – the same as walking for 30 minutes.
✓ People whose names start with ‘A’ have the longest life expectancy.
✓ Reincarnation is forbidden in China without government permission.
✓ Your earlobes line up with your nipples.
-WhattheFFacts

BS STUPID QUESTIONS FOR TELEMARKETERS:
• Would you like to buy some of these fundraising chocolates that my kid has to sell?
• New phone.  Who dis?
• Could you repeat everything that you just said?
• Why would I want my ducks cleaned?  Who has ducks?
• How much for TWO extended warranties?
• Do you take Kohl’s Cash? (Or Canadian Tire money?)
• Is the man of the company home?
• Is it me you’re looking for?
• Did I interrupt your dinner?
• Could you stop calling me?
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS YOU’VE JOINED A BAD GYM:

More people sign up at fitness clubs this week than any other time of the year. Beware if …
• The door to the front desk has a slot in it that slides open to verify your membership.
• There’s a KFC between the aerobics area and the free weights.
• The personal trainer claims that carrying his groceries up 30 flights is much better than a Stair-Master.
• It’s not actually carpet in the locker room, it’s really thick shower mold.
• On the way to the workout area, you pass several members’ memorial plaques.
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2017

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which character NEVER appeared in J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy?
a. Meriadoc
b. Ahsoka [CORRECT – this was Anakin Skywalker’s apprentice in “Star Wars: The Clone Wars”]
c. Faramir
d. Elrond

• What does the “J” stand for in author J.K. Rowling’s name?
a. Jane
b. Joanne [CORRECT- she refers to herself as “Jo”]
c. Joely
d. Norma
-PubTimeTrivia

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s one thing you really want to do in 2019 that you didn’t get to do last year?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  According to a survey, it takes an average of 12 minutes 30 seconds to do THIS.  What?
Answer:  Decide what to watch on Netflix

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want.

 

 

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