Monday, January 23, 2006        Edition: #3202
Witty? Amusing? Provocative? Sounds Like Sheet!

WEEKEND TABLOID BS:
• Rapper Wyclef Jean reportedly sent out a secret message to fellow Haitians before his show biz pals Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt visited the country, urging them not to kidnap the movie stars. Jean is said to have contacted gang leaders on Haiti and pleaded with them not to try anything rash. Jolie & Pitt visited the island LAST WEEK on behalf of Jean’s charity, Yele Haiti Foundation.
– Newindpress
• Meantime, rumors are circulating that Angelina Jolie is expecting twins. A source says she underwent fertility treatments to help her conceive with Brad Pitt and it certainly seems to have worked – enabling 2 buns in the oven! Angelina is due to give birth THIS SUMMER.
– “Celebrity Living” / “The Sun”
• British actor Dominic Monaghan and his Edmonton-born “Lost” co-star Evangeline Lilly are reportedly engaged. Monaghan got down on one knee to propose to his girlfriend on the Hawaii set of the hit series LAST WEEK, to which Lilly apparently replied “Yes, yes, yes!”
– ContactMusic.com
• One of the movies being talked about at the currently-running “Sundance Film Festival” is “The Night Listener”, starring Robin Williams as a radio personality who develops an intense relationship with a young listener, played by Rory Culkin (youngest brother of Macaulay Culkin).
– PopBitch.com
• Ron Perelman, the billionaire head of Revlon Corp, is seeking a divorce from his wife of 5 years, movie actress Ellen Barkin (“Sea of Love”, “The Big Easy”).
– “New York Post”
• Former *NSYNC members Lance Bass & Joey Fatone are developing a new comedy/reality hybrid series for UPN that’s described as a modern-day “Odd Couple” with Fatone as ‘Oscar’ the slob, and Bass as ‘Felix’ the neat-freak. The show’s is tentatively titled – “Out of Sync”.
– “Star Magazine”
• TONIGHT model Rachel Hunter is on the hunt for a star stylist to make her sizzle on the red carpet with her new Women’s Entertainment TV reality show “Style Me with Rachel Hunter”. The supermodel will choose from a crop of 12 competing wannabes.
– “People”
• And picture this couple – George Clooney is reportedly enjoying a whirlwind romance with “Desperate Housewives” star Teri Hatcher – and they are said to be getting serious. The show biz twosome quickly became close after realizing they were neighbors, and have been seen enjoying romantic dinners at Clooney’s favorite restaurant, Casa Vega, in the San Fernando Valley.
– “News of the World”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bon Jovi – No one was hurt early SATURDAY when the Boeing 707 carrying the band overshot the runway at Hamilton [ON] International Airport, then skidded off after landing. The plane was arriving from Buffalo NY. TONIGHT & tomorrow they play Toronto’s Air Canada Centre.
• Fiest – TONIGHT the indie Canadian singer appears on ABC-TV’s late night “Jimmy Kimmel Live”.
• 50 Cent – He’s being sued for allegedly stealing lyrics for his 2003 hit, “In Da Club”, from a 1994 song by former 2 Live Crew frontman Luther Campbell entitled “It’s Your Birthday”.
• Madonna – She’s encouraging fans to upload their personal Madonna photos onto her official Website in a bid to create the ‘Biggest Photo Archive Ever Devoted to a Single Subject’.
• Mariah Carey – She’s set to become the latest celebrity to release her own perfume, reportedly based on ‘white flowers’.
• Sarah McLachlan – TONIGHT she guests on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Sugarland – Kristen Hall has announced she’s leaving the multi-platinum country music trio to spend more time writing songs on her own.
• U2 – Bono has been overheard in Dublin’s Patrick Guilbaud restaurant discussing a
new red American Express card and a red iPod, both designed as charity fund-raisers.

GOOD MORNING …TO THE MOST MISERABLE DAY:
Feeling a bit off this morning? Well, there could be a good reason for that. TODAY is the ‘Most Depressing Day of the Year’, at least according to a formula devised by psychologist Dr Cliff Arnall of Cardiff University in Wales. His calculation is based on the poorest weather, debts owed for seasonal spending, the time since Christmas, the period of time before you abandon New Year’s resolutions, the dates when motivation levels seems to be at their lowest and the timing for the need for action to escape the blues.
– Sky News / “The Guardian”

TOP MONEY MAKERS IN MUSIC:
The top-earning music acts, ranked by combined 2005 sales of albums, digital downloads and concert tickets …
5. Elton John – $77 million
4. Paul McCartney – $84 million
3. Kenny Chesney – $88 million
2. Rolling Stones – $152 million
1. U2 – $255 million
– “Billboard”

WHAT YOUR SNEEZE SAYS ABOUT YOU:
You might know that when you sneeze you spew about 100,000 bacteria through the air at better than 100 mph. But did you know that you’re also revealing aspects of your personality? So says body language expert Patti Wood, who also just happens to be a spokeswoman for Benadryl cold medicine. So which type of sneezer are you?
• THE ENTHUSIASTIC SNEEZER: Big, lusty & powerful, a charismatic leader. You’re imaginative and have great ‘out-of-the-box’ ideas. You’re optimistic and spontaneous. You’re open and let people know what you’re feeling. You’re likely to have sneezes that people notice – either big or multiple.
• THE NICE SNEEZER: No showy histrionics or noise levels; would rather hold it back so as not to offend. You are warm & friendly and like a relaxed pace. The most important thing in your life is your relationship with others. You will work hard to avoid conflict and get along.
• THE BE-RIGHT SNEEZER: A proper, dignified & moderate ‘achoo’, most likely covered up with a tissue or hankie. You’re careful and accurate; also detailed and precise and catch mistakes that others miss. You take your time, play by the rules and wish others would also.
• THE GET-IT-DONE SNEEZER: Incoming! Board up the windows! Get out the Lysol! You sneeze quick & hard. You are fast, decisive and to the point. You’re efficient and uncomplicated. You seek physical exertion. You do not like to be used unfairly by others. You will hold in your sneeze if you can and are more likely to have a big loud sneeze than other types.
• THE STIFLER: A couple of ‘ahh-ahhs’ followed by a muffled internal explosion, sometimes accompanied by a mouse squeak. You suppress your feelings and are embarrassed to talk about yourself. You have trouble expressing yourself and being open. The same holds true when you sneeze. Beware, you’re going to blow your eyeballs out doing that! Best to let ’er rip!
– “Arizona Republic” / Knight Ridder News

BS AMAZING FACT:
FRIDAY the Aston Martin spy car from the ‘James Bond’ movies “Thunderball” and “Goldfinger”, complete with machine guns and tire slashers, sold for $2.1 million at a vintage motor cars auction in Phoenix AZ.

THE MOST BORING MUSIC ON EARTH:
4-and-a-half years after it began, the world’s slowest and longest concert has begun playing its 2nd chord. The performance, based on composer John Cage’s “organ2/ASLSP” (‘As SLow aS Possible’) is scheduled to run from 2001 until 2639. It was originally written as a 20-minute work for the piano but organizers of the ‘John Cage Organ Project’ decided to carry out the performance which the composer originally envisioned, a 638-year-long piece played on a church organ in Halberstadt, Germany. It began with a year-and-a-half of silence, played its 1st chord FEBRUARY 2, 2003 and finally progressed to its 2nd LAST WEEK. John Cage is also famous for a piece of music called “4-33″, which consists of 4 minutes, 33 seconds of – total silence!
– “Curious Times”

OUR ALL-TIME FAVORITE MOVIE STARS:
10. Sandra Bullock
9. Sean Connery
8. George Clooney
7. Mel Gibson
6. Clint Eastwood
5. Julia Roberts
3. [tie] John Wayne / Harrison Ford
2. Johnny Depp
1. Tom Hanks
– Newly-released Harris poll

AND WE QUOTE:
“Like every good Mormon, I’m in love with both my wives.”
– “Desperate Housewives” star Doug Savant, saying he’s fond of both real-life wife, actress Laura Leighton, and his TV spouse, played by Felicity Huffman.

THE BULL SHEET 01.23.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [56] Patrick Simmons, Aberdeen WA, classic rock guitarist/vocalist (Doobie Bros-“China Grove”)

1953 [53] Robin Zander, Beloit WI, classic rock singer/guitarist (Cheap Trick-“The Flame”)

1957 [49] Princess Caroline Grimaldi of Monaco, Monte Carlo, Monaco, idle rich girl

1964 [42] Mariska Hargitay, LA CA, TV actress (‘Detective Olivia Benson’-“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” since 1999)

1969 [37] Brendan Shanahan, Mimico ON, NHL winger (Detroit Red Wings)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
“Canadian General Election”, the day for Canadians to have their say about government. Did you know that voting in Australia was made compulsory in 1924? Since then, voter turnout has remained around 95%. They also use elections as an excuse to party– with barbecues at many polling stations on general election days.

“Compliment Day”, a day to bolster someone else’s self-esteem. Go ahead, tell someone they’re not looking as ugly as usual.

“Handwriting Day”, a day set aside to recognize ‘graphology’ (handwriting analysis) and to encourage more legible handwriting.
SECRETS YOUR HANDWRITING MIGHT REVEAL:
• Are your ‘U’s and ‘W’s rounded on their bottoms? You’re sensitive … maybe even poetic.
• Do you cross your ‘T’s in the middle or at the top? The lower you cross your ‘T’, the less ambition you have.
• Do you loop your ‘C’s at the top? That’s a sign of vanity.
• Are your ‘A’s and ‘O’s tightly closed? You’re likely hiding something.
• Do your letters slant every which way? Only 10% of the general population has a wobbly slant, compared with over 70% of convicted felons.
• Is your signature different from your regular handwriting? Odds are you’re putting on an act.
• Do the connecting swoops between your letters droop? Maybe you have a martyr complex, and are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.
• Is your handwriting spiky and angular? Relax. There’s no need to be so tense.
• Are your letters a bit squatty? If they’re biggest in the middle zone, and don’t extend much up or below the baseline, then you’re a bit childish.
– “Handwriting Analysis: Putting It to Work for You”, by Andrea McNichol

“Measure Your Feet Day”, a good excuse to conduct a poll to find the listener with the largest.

“Pie Day”, celebrating the pie as an ‘art form’. But isn’t it better used as a weapon?

“Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day”, when snowplow drivers are encouraged to take out as many mailboxes as possible. High score wins! Hey, any excuse to have fewer bills delivered.

“Spieling Day”, celebrating that great Canadian pastime — blathering. Celebrants are encouraged to give long-winded speeches about meaningless subjects to family and co-workers. It’s a good day to play ‘Dollar-a-Second’, where phone contestants must speak for 30 seconds continuously on-air without saying ‘um’ or repeating themselves. Not as easy as it seems … as you well know.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1991 [15] “Seinfeld” debuts on NBC-TV as a regular weekly sitcom

2004 [02] Long-running NBC-TV sitcom “Friends” films its final episode in front of an invitation-only audience  FACTOID: Word has it the 6 cast members have just agreed to multi-million dollar deals to reprise their roles in 4 one-hour specials.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1986 [20] 1st “Rock & Roll Hall of Fame” inductees include Elvis Presley, Chuck Berry & Fats Domino

1994 [12] In a Toronto hospital, Billy Joel avoids emergency surgery by passing a kidney stone

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1942 [64] ‘Tupperware’ is invented (that stuff in your cupboard you can’t find the lids for)

1981 [25] 1st NHLer to score 50 goals in 50 games (Mike Bossy-NY Islanders)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1935 [71] Lowest-ever recorded Ontario temperature (-58.3 C at Iroquois Falls)

1916 [90] Browning MT sets record for 24-hour temp variation at 100 degrees (from +44 F to -56 F)

1971 [35] Lowest US temperature ever recorded (-80 F at Prospect Creek Camp, Alaska)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Opposite Day
[Wed] 6th International Internet-Free Day
[Wed] Robbie Burns Day
[Wed] School Nurse Day
[Thurs] Australia Day
[Fri] Fun At Work Day
[Fri] Thomas Crapper Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Handwriting Analysis Week / Creative Frugality Week / Nurse Anesthetists Week / Solo-Preneuring Week / Take Back Your Time Week

BULL’S BITS      

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• Of all your favorite foods, which would you find most difficult to give up for the rest of your life? (Top answers in an AOL poll: 3. French Fries  2. Cheese  1. Chocolate.)
• Which musical instrument do you wish would disappear from the face of the Earth?
 
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 1 in 5 men admit they read THESE, though they’re embarrassed to admit it.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Romance novels.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

ON OUR SHEET LIST:
“The Bull Sheet” salutes a couple of subscribers who’ve just re-upped for another full year – Jaime Mendez @ KKMO Seattle WA; and Steve Cole @ #1 Country [KDQN] De Queen AR (12th year!); and we welcome samplers this week that include Keith Andrews @ 94.1 Fox FM [CFGW] Yorkton SK; Brian Nicholl @ Mid FM Cookstown, Ireland; and Matthew Reid @ 95.7 Ben FM [WBEN] Philadelphia PA. As always, you can instantly subscribe or renew your subscription online at our Website.