Tuesday, January 10, 2006        Edition: #3193
Here’s Sheet in Your Eye!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
THIS MORNING nominations will be announced for the 2006 “Brit Awards” (UK equivalent of the “Juno Awards”) which will be handed out FEBRUARY 15th . . . Amber Brkich (“Survivor: All Stars” winner, “The Amazing Race 7″, “Rob & Amber Get Married”), who’s now going by Amber Mariano, has written “Amber’s Guide For Girls: Advice on Fame, Family, Fashion & More!”, a ‘fun and insightful book’ of advice on school, family, goals, relationships & fashion (based on her expertise as – a reality show contestant) . . . Former kid actor Macaulay Culkin has written a novel entitled “Junior”, which follows a child star with a troubled home life (hmm, sound familiar?) . . . “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell is exec-producing a new FOX-TV talent show called “Duets” that pairs up celebs with professional singers to perform for a panel of judges (“Skating With the Stars”, only without ice) . . . 40-year-old Icelandic singer Bjork has been voted the ‘World’s Most Eccentric Star’ in a new BBC poll . . . Acting couple Kurt Russell & Goldie Hawn have put their Tudor-style Vancouver mansion on the market for $5.4 million (they lived there to support son Wyatt’s junior hockey career but now he’s 19 and moving on).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alanis Morissette – TONIGHT she guests on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Avril Lavigne – She’s ditched her gothic eyeliner and baggy clothes for a stylish look in Chanel and Gucci to demonstrate her new fashion sense in the FEBRUARY edition of “Harper’s Bazaar” magazine.
• Released TODAY in music stores – “Tony Bennett Sings for Lovers”; “Dion’s “Bronx in Blue”; Morningwood’s self-titled CD; and We Are Scientists’ “With Love & Music”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “The Constant Gardener” ( Thriller – DVD ): Based on the best-selling John le Carré novel, Ralph Fiennes plays a widower who is determined to get to the bottom of a potentially explosive secret involving the murder of his wife (Rachel Weisz) in a remote area of Northern Kenya. Nominated for 3 “Golden Globe Awards” including ‘Best Drama’, ‘Best Actress’, and ‘Best Director’.
• “Hustle & Flow” ( Musical Drama – DVD ): Terrence Howard (“Crash”) has picked up a “Golden Globe” nomination and other accolades for his performance as down-at-heels pimp ‘DJay’, who puts his all into his dream of becoming a rapper and inspires people around him along the way. Anthony Anderson plays the high school friend who becomes his engineer/producer. Ludacris and Isaac Hayes co-star.
• “Red Eye” ( Thriller – DVD ): Canadian actress Rachel MacAdams plays a smart, strong-willed hotel manager who is extorted by a freelance terrorist (Cillian Murphy) into enabling an assassination while she’s kept a virtual prisoner on an airplane. Directed by horror-meister Wes Craven.
• “Transporter 2″ ( Action Thriller – DVD ): Jason Statham returns as mercenary ‘Frank Martin’ who specializes in moving goods of all kinds. In this sequel to the 2002 film, he surfaces in Miami, where he’s implicated in the kidnaping of a powerful US official’s son.
• Also out on DVD TODAY – “Dead Poet’s Society: Special Edition”; and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: Bueller … Bueller … Edition” (20th anniversary).

32ND PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARDS:
TONIGHT “Late Late Show” host Craig Ferguson emcees live from LA’s Shrine Auditorium on CBS-TV. A few highlights …
• Unlike the Oscars, Grammys or Emmys, these awards are selected by public polling.
• Jessica Simpson opens the show with her first public performance since splitting with Nick Lachey.
• On the movie side, Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie have received 3 nominations each, including one as a duo for ‘Best On-Screen Partnership’ in “Mr & Mrs Smith”.
• On the TV end of things, Emmy-winning “Everybody Loves Raymond” is nominated twice, for ‘Best TV Comedy’ and ‘Best Male TV Star’.

WEIRD WORLD OF BS:
• An Australian woman has become famous for her ability to paint … with her breasts. Di Peel, a mother of 2 from Tasmania, is unashamed to describe herself as a ‘big woman’. She works at a kitchen table by either applying paint to her breasts and leaning on to a canvas or by applying paint directly to a canvas then leaning in to spread it. A shower becomes necessary each time she changes colors. She promises that all her works, which sell for circa $70 apiece, are ‘signed with a nipple’.
• A 30-year-old Turkish shop assistant in the town of Antalya has been arrested after being found lying naked in a store window … with a mannequin … that exhibited bite marks. The perv’ was discovered by colleagues who were opening up the department store for the day. Two other mannequins that showed signs of abuse are being held as evidence.
• Austrian ski lift operator Johann Berger has developed a new ‘Ski-Thru Loo’. Yep, skiers coping with nature’s undeniable call at the  St Jakob Resort can now ski directly into a private cubicle, then ski out the other side … after takin’ care of business.
• While inspecting a Dekalb County, Georgia restaurant, a health inspector has found what turns out to be … a frozen guinea pig. The chef insists it’s for his own personal consumption. The inspector says a receipt should have been filed for the critter and it should have been labeled ‘personal food’. In case you’re wondering, yes, there are several recipes for guinea pig. One claims it’s best served with salad and a beer!
• More weddings than normal are being registered to take place this JUNE 6th in the Netherlands. One explanation for the enthusiasm for the date is that it is easy to remember (6/6/06). Another has more sinister connotations: the ‘Number of the Beast’ as mentioned in the Book of Revelation of the New Testament has long been accepted to be ‘666′.

BS AMAZING FACT:
Devout Orthodox Jews are 3 times as likely to jaywalk as other people, according to an Israeli survey. The researchers say it’s possibly because religious people have less fear of death.
– “New Scientist”

GENDER PREFERENCE IN INDIA:
New research has found that over the past 2 decades some 10 million female fetuses may have been aborted in India. The study by the University of Toronto’s Prabhat Jha and colleagues concludes that today’s hi-tech ability to determine gender before birth, followed by the abortion of female fetuses may be the reason for the alarming 10 million ‘missing’ females. (This is only the beginning of what’s destined to become a huge issue – ‘designer offspring’.)
– “The Lancet”

HE SAID IT:
“We know what works and what doesn’t, what buttons and catches are easy to undo and which ones aren’t. Women, frankly, don’t have a clue.”
– Andy McNab, a former SAS commando & Gulf War hero, who’s now a best-selling British author, telling “The Telegraph” why he’s set to design and launch his own line of women’s underwear.

YOU TOO CAN BECOME A PLASTIC ACTION FIGURE:
30-year-old Stephanie Chapu of Toronto is the first Canadian to volunteer her body to Dr. Gunther von Hagens for his “Body Worlds” exhibits, where human bodies undergo a process called plastination and are then put on display in museums to showcase every feature of human anatomy. Chapu says she’s long researched what to do with her body when she died and this concept appealed to her most. (Yeah that’s what I want my legacy to be … a chewing gum repository in some museum.)
– CNEWS

HOW TO NAME YOUR PET:
A few tips from experts on how to choose a pet name …
• Observe your new pet for a few days and see if its personality suggests a name. (Pee-Boy)
• Choose a name your pet will easily recognize. Some experts say the ideal name has 2 syllables, ending with a vowel sound. (Lard-O)
• Avoid names that sound too much like standard commands. (“Okay Pitt, sit!”)
• Pick a name that will be just as appropriate once your pet is full-grown. (“I’d like you to meet my 700-lb Great Dane, ‘Cupcake’.)
• Pick a name that won’t be embarrassing to call out in public. (“Oh Humpy … come here!”)
– PetPlace.com

CURRENT TOP PET NAMES:
According to a recent survey by Veterinary Pet Insurance …
MALE –
5. Bailey
4. Rocky
3. Jake
2. Buddy
1. Max
FEMALE –
5. Sadie
4. Lucy
3. Daisy
2. Maggie
1. Molly
– Netscape Home

WOW, MY FAVORITE NOVEL HAS FRECKLES!
A number of prestigious libraries – including Harvard University’s – have books in their collections that are bound … in human skin! While the idea of making leather from human skin seems bizarre and cruel today, it was not uncommon in centuries past. In those days, the best libraries belonged to private collectors who found human leather to be relatively cheap, durable and waterproof. The ‘material’ was accessed from amputated parts, executed criminals, cadavers used in medical schools, and people who died in the poor house. Even though the practice was not uncommon in the early 1800s, it still wasn’t talked about in ‘polite society’. (“… and this diary belonged to grandma … literally.”)
– AP

DID YOU KNOW?
• An estimated 1 million animals are killed on America’’s roads every day.
– “Christian Science Monitor”
• Somewhere between 140,000 and 400,000 Americans are believed to weigh more than 400 lbs.
– “Los Angeles Times”

THE BULL SHEET 01.10.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [61] Rod Stewart, London UK, wrinkle-rocker (“Maggie May”, “Do You Think I’m Sexy”)/ Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1994)

1948 [58] Donald Fagen, Passaic NJ, classic rock singer (Steely Dan-“Hey 19″, “Reeling in the Years”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2001)

1953 [53] Pat Benatar (Andrzejewski), Brooklyn NY, classic rocker (“Hit Me With Your Best Shot”)/4 consecutive Grammy Awards for ‘Best Female Rock Vocal Performance’ 1980-83

1964 [42] Brad Roberts, Winnipeg MB, pop singer (Crash Test Dummies-“Ghosts That Haunt Me”, “Mmm Mmm Mmm”)

1978 [28] Matt Roberts, Escatawpa MS, rock guitarist (3 Doors Down-“Let Me Go”, “Here Without You”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “BS Egg Balancing Day”, when you can take your average egg, place it on it’s fat end and it will stand on its own (the key is removing your supporting fingers very, very gently). Ask listeners to try it out and call in with results. It all has to do with physics or hieroglyphics … or something.

• “Eid al-Adha” (pronounced ‘EED al-ahd-hah’), the Islamic “Feast of Sacrifice”. It begins on the 10th day of the month in which the Hajj (pilgrimage) is made to Mecca. During this 4-day festival, Muslims gather for community-wide or extended-family meals which may include special entertainment and the exchange of gifts.

• “Peculiar People Day”, a good day to have listeners call in stories about the weird habits of people they know.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1999 [07] Acclaimed TV series “The Sopranos” debuts on HBO

2000 [06] In the biggest corporate merger ever, America Online announces it’s acquiring Time-Warner for $162 billion (well, that certainly worked out well)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2000 [06] Rocker Melissa Etheridge & partner Julie Cypher reveal that dinosaur rocker David Crosby is the biological father of their 2 children

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1863 [143] World’s 1st ‘Subway’ opens (the ‘Metropolitan’ in London, aka the ‘Tube’)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2000 [06] Tisdale SK bakery achieves record of 76 eggs standing for annual “BS Egg Balancing Day”

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Tattoo Pride Day
[Wed] International Thank-Yous Days
[Wed] NASA launches probe to Pluto
[Thurs] Pharmacists Day
[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Sat] Assembly Line Worker’s Day
[Sat] Dress Up Your Pet Day
[Mon] Martin Luther King Jr Day
This Week Is … Intimate Apparel Week
This Month Is … Coffee Gourmet International Month

BULL’S BITS

BS WAYS TO GET A WOMAN TO DUMP YOU:
• Make dates and then don’t show up.
• Hang with her girlfriends.
• Stop caring about your appearance for awhile.
• Be entirely selfish in bed.
• Find trivial things that she does and complain about them.
• Compare her to your mother.
• Cheat on her and make sure you get caught.
• Be the sensitive, caring man women want, but REALLY overdo it.
– AskMen.com

HOLLYWOOD NICKNAMES:
In Hollywood history, who was known as …
• ‘The Italian Stallion’ (Sylvester Stallone)
• ‘Bennifer’ (Ben Aflleck & Jennifer Lopez)
• ‘The Muscles From Brussels’ (Jean-Claude Van Damme)
• ‘The Blonde Bombshell’ (Betty Hutton)
• ‘The Duke’ (John Wayne)
• ‘TomKat’ (Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes)
• ‘The Sex Kitten’ (Brigitte Bardot)
• ‘The Sweater Girl’ (Lana Turner)
• ‘The Vagabond Lover’ (Rudy Vallee)
– “Useless Digest”

BS BLATANT JOKE:
I just discovered the 11th commandment – Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 20% of us have participated in THIS at least one time in our lives.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Been in a band.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.