Friday, January 11, 2019 – Edition: #6370
Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ It’s already hard to comprehend that “Friends” ended 15 years ago, but think about this fact that will make you feel really, really old: Ross and Rachel’s daughter is now nearly 18! Meanwhile, despite the show ending in 2004, the cast are all still earning big bucks every year thanks to re-runs. According to USA Today, the cast each receive 2% of the syndication revenue the show makes. Friends makes Warner Bros a massive $1 billion each year, which means that each of the main cast members pocket around $20 million annually.
(Which should pretty much put Ross and Rachel’s daughter through college…)
-MSN
★ Michael Jackson’s estate is blasting a new documentary focusing on sexual abuse claims they say are “dated” and have already been “discredited.” Set to premiere at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, later this month, “Leaving Neverland” is about the life of two boys, now in their thirties, who accused the late singer of abuse. Following the announcement on Wednesday, Jackson’s estate released a statement saying, “This is yet another lurid production in an outrageous and pathetic attempt to exploit and cash in on Michael Jackson.”
-Yahoo
★ “The Sopranos” creator David Chase is searching for a child actor to portray a boyhood version of the late James Gandolfini’s lead character in the upcoming prequel movie. Gandolfini starred as the show’s lead, mob boss Tony Soprano, for six seasons until it wrapped in 2007, and although the actor died in 2013, his onscreen alter ego will be brought back to life as a kid for Chase’s film adaptation “The Many Saints of Newark”. The movie will be set against the backdrop of the Newark, N.J., race riots in 1967 and chronicle the tensions between members of the city’s Italian and African-American crime families.
-Canoe
★ Jeff Bezos, the founder and CEO of Amazon, has announced he and his wife MacKenzie are divorcing … and a record $137 BILLION is on the line. Bezos, who is the richest man in the world with more than a $40 billion edge over #2 Bill Gates, said in a statement: “Though the labels might be different, we remain a family, and we remain cherished friends.” Amazon is now the most valuable company on the planet … worth nearly $810 BILLION.
(Now then…what is half of $810 billion?)
-TMZ
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Michael B. Jordan, Cobie Smulders, Sean Finnerty
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Cena, Rachel Brosnahan, Brian Posehn, Richard Danielson (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ellen DeGeneres, Patrick Wilson (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Ashley Graham, Sharon Case, Kristoff St. John, Joshua Morrow, Jess Walton, Mike Bayer
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Keegan-Michael Key, Colton Underwood, Maria Loi
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Robin Roberts
SATURDAY–
• “One Winter Proposal” (HALLMARK): Old flames are reignited and current flames burn brighter when the fan-favorite foursome from One Winter Weekend returns to the ski resort where it all began.
SUNDAY–
• “24th Annual Critics’ Choice Awards” (CW): Taye Diggs hosts the annual salute to the best in film, television and streaming. Claire Foy will be honored with this year’s #SeeHer Award and producer Chuck Lorre will receive the Critics’ Choice Creative Achievement Award.
• “True Detective” (HBO) Season 3 premiere. 1980: Will and Julie Purcell, the children of feuding parents Tom and Lucy Purcell, go missing in West Finger, Ark. 2015: Retired detective Wayne Hays, who originally investigated the crime, is asked to look back on the twists of the unsolved case.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Cardi B — leads the nominees for the 2019 iHeartRadio Music Awards with 14. She is up for Female Artist of the Year against Ariana Grande, Camila Cabello, Dua Lipa and Halsey. She has three nods in the Best Music Video category thanks to Girls Like You, her collaboration with Maroon 5, and her two videos with J. Balvin and Bad Bunny, ‘I Like It’ and ‘One Kiss’.
• Lana Del Rey — is set to publish a poetry book. She’s been working on it for the past year. Her newest single, ‘Hope Is a Dangerous Thing for a Woman like Me to Have – but I Have It’, was inspired by troubled poetry icon Sylvia Plath.
• Chester Bennington – One of his last known recordings, a collaboration with Lamb of God guitarist Mark Morton, has just been released. ‘Cross Off’, appears on Morton’s album, “Anesthetic”, due out March 1st. The two recorded the song in the spring of 2017, a few months before the Linkin Park singer took his own life.
• Rush — Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson will make a rare joint public appearance as they take part in Rush Fan Day on Jan. 19 at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. The focus will be on Lee’s recently published “Big Beautiful Book of Bass”, with a book signing and an exhibit featuring basses from his collection. Lifeson will also interview his lifelong friend at noon. The chat will be live-streamed.
• Mötley Crüe — A Manitoba motorist had an interesting excuse when he was pulled over for driving 145km/h. He told police that he was listening to Crüe’s ‘Kickstart My Heart’ and got a bit carried away. He was fined $639.
• Sass Jordan – has ventured among the vines. Her wine, “Kick Ass Sass” is available through Vineland Estates (and online) in red and white. Of the red, she says, “It’s 100% dragon’s blood and, if you drink it, it will give you superpowers.”
• Woodstock — Original organizer Michael Lang has confirmed that a celebration of the iconic festival’s 50th anniversary will take place on August 16-18 at Watkins Glen. Lineup details will be announced by the time tickets go on sale next month, but he says more than 40 acts have been booked to play across three stages. He says, “It’ll be an eclectic bill. It’ll be hip-hop and rock and some pop and some of the legacy bands from the original festival.”
• Brad Paisley — compares breakups to rodeos in his latest song ‘Bucked Off’, a theme on which he doubles down in the new video. He asked his fans to submit videos of their breakups, leading to a mish-mash of seemingly real and clearly staged cellphone clips.
• Maren Morris — leads country music’s nominees in the 2019 iHeartRadio Music Awards with four, including her collaboration with Zedd and Grey, ‘The Middle’ in the Song of the Year category. ‘The Middle’ is also up for Best Collaboration and Dance Song of the Year. Luke Bryan and Florida Georgia Line are also among the multiple nominees.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “If Beale Street Could Talk” (R-Rated, Drama/Romance): A woman in Harlem embraces her pregnancy while she and her family struggle to prove her fiancé innocent of a crime. (KiKi Layne, Stephan James, Regina King)
• “The Upside” (PG-13, Comedy/Drama): A comedic look at the relationship between a wealthy man with quadriplegia and an unemployed man with a criminal record who’s hired to help him. (Kevin Hart, Bryan Cranston, Nicole Kidman)
• “On the Basis of Sex” (PG-13, Drama): The story of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, her struggles for equal rights, and what she had to overcome in order to become a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. (Felicity Jones, Armie Hammer, Justin Theroux)
• “A Dog’s Way Home” (PG, Drama): Separated from her owner, a dog sets off on a 400-mile journey to the safety and security of the place she calls home. Along the way, she meets a series of new friends and manages to bring a little bit of comfort and joy to their lives. (Bryce Dallas Howard, Ashley Judd)
• “Replicas” (PG-13, Mystery): A scientist becomes obsessed with bringing back his family members who died in a traffic accident. (Alice Eve, Keanu Reeves)
RESPLENDANT COMMAND OF YOUR POISE:
Royal fans in Canada and the U.S. are paying big bucks to learn how to “take tea” and do other things in a “royal manner”. Etiquette experts say that they have seen a sharp increase in “commoners” signing up to learn how to conduct themselves like members of the royal family since Meghan Markle married Prince Harry in May. They call it the “Duchess Effect”. Elaine Swann, who runs The Swann School of Protocol in San Diego, says that when people see an American become a “princess”, it is very inspiring, and makes royalty seem “more real” to the rest of us. A recent day-long set of classes at The Plaza Hotel in New York taught important skills such as the “Duchess slant” which refers to the way the Duchesses of Sussex and Cambridge sit. The knees and ankles must be kept together, with the lower legs elegantly tilted to one side. The courses always sell out, with the most recent one seeing three participants fly in from Canada for the $900 training.
(It seems they already have a royal budget!)
(Too bad no one bothered to offer these courses to Sarah Ferguson!
(They couldn’t just watch “Downton Abbey” or something?
-CTV
TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
➢ A Florida woman attacked her parents following a dispute over Outback Steakhouse. Police say 28-year-old Deana Seltzer was arrested on charges of simple battery, battery of a person 65 or older and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. She allegedly repeatedly punched her mother, scratched her father, flipped a glass table and destroyed furniture after her mother said she wouldn’t take her to the popular chain restaurant. She was booked in the Palm Beach County jail, then released the next day on “supervised recognizance,”
(No Blooming Onion is worth that much trouble!)
-Boston25News
➢ Three syringes were found in a Florida man’s rectum, yet he claims they aren’t his. Wesley Scott was taken into custody on a drug charge, and during his strip search, deputies say he removed three syringes from his rectum and handed them over, claiming that they weren’t his. He is being held on $5,000 bond.
(Gently…)
-FOX35
➢ When a number of US diplomats and their families in Cuba reported hearing bizarre noises and experienced symptoms such as dizziness, vertigo, and pain and ringing in the ears, US officials feared they might have fallen victim to an “acoustic attack” by sonic devices. For over two years, they have been unable to identify the source or cause of the symptoms, and Cuban officials denied any attack. Now, after analyzing a recording, scientists say the source of the piercing noise described as “buzzing,” “grinding metal” and “piercing squeals” could be – the call of a cricket.
(The Cuban whistle crisis?)
-CNN
BS CHRONOMETER 01.11.19
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1956 [63] Phyllis Logan, Paisley, Scotland, TV actress (“Downton Abbey” 2010-15)
1968 [51] Tom Dumont, LA CA, rock guitarist (No Doubt-‘It’s My Life’, ‘Don’t Speak’)
1971 [48] Mary J Blige, Bronx NY, R&B-pop singer (‘Family Affair’, ‘Be Without You’)
1972 [47] Amanda Peet, NYC, movie actress (“Identity Thief”, “The Whole Nine Yards”)
1985 [34] Aja Naomi King, LA CA, TV actress (‘Michaela Pratt’ on “How to Get Away With Murder” since 2014)
1997 [22] Cody Simpson, Gold Coast, Australia, pop singer (‘On My Mind’, f/Flo Rida-‘iYiYi’)
SATURDAY-
Radio host Howard Stern is 55; Internet billionaire Jeff Bezos (Amazon founder) is 55; Pop singer Mel C (Spice Girls) is 45; Movie director Rob Zombie (“The Devils Rejects”) is 54; Rock singer Zack de la Rocha (Rage Against the Machine) is 49; Pop singer Zayn Malik (‘Pillowtalk’) is 26
SUNDAY-
TV actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus (“Seinfeld”) is 58; Country singer Trace Adkins (‘You’re Gonna Miss This’) is 57; TV actor Patrick Dempsey (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 53; TV executive Shonda Rhimes (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 49; Movie star Orlando Bloom (“Pirates of the Caribbean”) is 42; Movie actor Liam Hemsworth (“The Hunger Games”) is 29
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Hot Toddy Day”, saluting the traditional drink taken before retiring for the night, or in wet or cold weather. It’s typically a mixture of liquor and water with honey (or, in some recipes, sugar), herbs (such as tea) and spices, and served piping hot. Some believe the drink relieves the symptoms of cold and flu. Or at least makes you forget them.
• “Human Trafficking Awareness Day”, drawing attention to efforts to eradicate modern-day slavery around-the-world.
• “International Thank-You Day”, a chance to thank someone from your past who did something nice for you.
• “Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day”, in case you want to embrace a technology that has pretty much disappeared. Dash-dot-dot-dot … dot-dot-dash … dot-dash-dot-dot …
• “Cigarettes are Hazardous to Your Health Day”. Did we really need a day to tell us this?
SATURDAY-
• “International Kiss a Ginger Day”, an annual event that encourages folks to pucker up and plant one on a redhead.
FAMOUS GINGERS:
✓ Movie star Emma Stone (“La La Land”).
✓ Actress Amy Adams (“Arrival”).
✓ TV host Conan O’Brien (“Conan”).
✓ Movie actress Jessica Chastain (“Zero Dark Thirty”).
✓ Actress Julianne Moore (“Still Alice”).
✓ Brit royal Prince Harry.
✓ Pop star Ed Sheeran (‘Shape of You’).
✓ Donald Trump (or at least, Alec Baldwin doing Donald Trump).
• “Pharmacists Day”, honoring drug dealers everywhere.
BS SIGNS YOUR PHARMACIST IS NUTS:
☞ Counts out pills, “One for you, two for me . . .”
☞ Claims he can’t read the doc’s writing so he’ll have to take a guess.
☞ Writes on the pill bottle, “Take a bunch a couple times a day.”
☞ Makes people with high blood pressure wait in line longer.
☞ Every day at 5 he yells “Happy Hour!”
☞ Wears a shirt that says “A Day Without Prozac is Like . . . Depressing Man”.
• “Marzipan Day”, celebrating the sweet, mold-able treat made from mostly sugar and almond meal or paste. It can end up looking like a big ball of Play-Doh that you can color with food coloring and then form into different shapes.
• “Stick to Your New Year’s Resolution Day”, more power to you if you made it this far!
SUNDAY-
• “Rubber Ducky Day”, celebrating the tub-toy that tots treasure. Observed annually on the ‘birth anniversary’ of “Sesame Street” character ‘Rubber Ducky’.
• “Sticker Day”, Historians credit European merchants in the 1880s as the first to stick labels to their products in an effort to promote their goods to passersby. Thanks to them, you now have to gouge and mutilate your fruit in order to get the stickers off.
• “Make Your Dream Come True Day”, Even if your dream seems impossible, you’ll never know if it can be accomplished unless you try … or so they claim.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2010 [09] Simon Cowell leaves “American Idol” to launch “The X Factor” (US version) His replacement? Steven Tyler
2013 [06] Re/Create, a charity event to aid victims of 2012 s Hurricane Sandy, holds a celebrity clothing auction that includes an autographed pair of Yeezy II sunglasses from Kanye West, a WeSC jacket Skrillex wore to the 2012 Grammys, and a Mugler bag donated by Lady Gaga
2015 [04] Over 3.5 million people in Paris and across France stage unity rallies to protest the recent Islamist terrorist attack on the offices of French satire magazine “Charlie Hebdo” (the rallies carry the theme ‘Je Suis Charlie’ or ‘I am Charlie’)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1992 [27] Nirvana’s “Nevermind” album hits #1 in America, unseating Michael Jackson’s “Dangerous”.
2013 [06] Destiny’s Child announce their official reunion will happen at the 2013 Super Bowl, 7 years after their split
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2013 [06] Artist Paul Emsley unveils the 1st official portrait of Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Gorillas burp when they are happy.
✓ The world’s oldest piece of chewing gum is over 9,000 years old.
✓ In New York, it is illegal to sell a haunted house without telling the buyer.
✓ A ten-gallon hat will only hold ¾ of a gallon.
✓ If you were to stretch a Slinky out until it’s flat, it would measure 87 feet long.
✓ Initially, ATM’s were thought to be failures, because most early users were either prostitutes or gamblers, who didn’t want to deal with tellers face to face.
-Livin3
BS FAKE PUPPY FACTS:
• Bacon is an effective puppy repellent.
• They come pre-toilet-trained.
• Puppies think about nothing but murder all day.
• Kids think they’re ugly.
• There’s no significance to the fact that the word PUPPY has so much “P” in it…none at all.
• They do not hear you unless you raise your voice by three octaves and repeat everything you say 4 times.
• If yours sees its shadow, it means six more weeks of toilet training.
• They want nothing to do with chewing your shoes.
• It is a good idea to let the kids pick one out without first letting your spouse know.
• Puppies are 70% love, 50% poop, and 100% bad at math
-Twitter
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’ve decided my 2018 will start on February 1st. January is a free trial month.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the dumbest thing you have ever said to a cop?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The average person does THIS four times per week. What is it?
Answer: Quotes a line from a movie
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you want to be average, do what others do. If you want to be awesome, do what no one does.
