The Bull Sheet

January 19, 2009

Monday, January 19, 2009 Edition: #3940
We’re Bullish on Radio!

WEEKEND BLOG BS:
• Police say 4 men have been stabbed at the Djumbala nightclub in Brooklyn NY which was hosting a so-called ‘official after-party’ for the debut of the bio-film “Notorious” about rapper Notorious BIG. A 21-year-old is listed in critical condition; 3 others are said to be stable. Not surprisingly, movie studio Fox Searchlight is denying it had anything to do with the event. (It’s film about rap … wouldn’t this just qualify as a ‘promotion’?)
– StarPulse.com
• The producers of “Speed-the-Plow” have officially filed a grievance with the Actors’ Equity Union over Jeremy Piven’s departure from the Broadway production. The “Entourage” star abruptly quit the David Mamet play in December, just 7 weeks after making his stage debut. His exotic excuse: he’s suffering from mercury poisoning. (To take his temperature, he just looks in the mirror.)
– TMZ.com
• Tonight’s debut of the Kevin Spacey-directed play “Complicit” at London’s Old Vic Theatre has been pushed back to January 28th because the show needs ‘more development time’. According to one report, that’s because 60-year-old star Richard Dreyfuss (“Mr Holland’s Opus”, “Jaws”) has yet to learn his lines and has to be fed cues through an earpiece. (What a pro!)
– “Daily Telegraph”
• Even before Oscar-nominated actor Joaquin Phoenix slurred his goodbye to acting last October, people were wondering about his sanity. Now comes word he’s in the thick of producing a documentary about his pursuit of a musical career with the help of old pal and brother-in-law Casey Affleck. The project officially kicked off Friday night with a taping at the LAVO club in Las Vegas where Phoenix gave his first rap performance. Who’s behind this mad idea? Word has it none other than Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs is producing Phoenix’s album. (Okay, that ‘splains a lot.)
– “Hollywood Reporter”
• “The Office“ (NBC) has just been officially renewed for another season, so what’s star Steve Carell doing with his ever burgeoning bankroll? Buying a general store. Seriously. He recently bought the 155-year-old Marshfield Hills General Store in the Massachusetts south-shore town where he’s a part-time resident. He promised the previous owners he’d maintain the store’s character and to that end has put his sister-in-law in charge. (Another reason to love this guy.)
– E! Online
• In another blatant example of stunt-casting, “CSI: NY” (CBS) will reportedly feature real-life couple Pete Wentz & Ashlee Simpson-Wentz in the March 18th episode. Word has it they will NOT be playing themselves but ‘Bonnie & Clyde’ wannabes. (Right. Get the Emmys ready.)
– EW.com
• Rock star wife & sometime movie actress Gwyneth Paltrow (“Iron Man”) insists her new healthy living website, GOOP (named for her initials), provides extremely valuable tips on fitness, travel, and cooking even though critics and online message boards say the site is nothing more than a vanity project. (You decide – try to find a single sentence without the word ‘I’ or ‘me’ in it.)
NET: http://goop.com
– ContactMusic.com

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – PETA has closed its investigation of her shih tzu after discovering reports that she had abandoned her dog ‘Munchie’ are simply not true.
• Dierks Bentley – His label is shipping more than 2,000 boxes of Cracker Jack to country radio stations this week as part of a contest to promote his latest single, “Feel That Fire”, which includes a line about a ‘toy in the Cracker Jack’. Before you give yours away, be aware that one box will contain a grand prize of a backyard concert with Dierks himself.
• Faith Hill – She’ll sing “America the Beautiful” as part of the Super Bowl XLIII pregame show at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa FL February 1st (NBC).
• Katy Perry – Oops! She’s been erroneously awarded the ‘Best International Song’ prize at France’s “NRJ Awards”, which picks winners based on fan voting. The award was supposed to go to Rihanna for “Disturbia”, a fact host Nikos Aliagas was forced to admit at the end of the show.
• Madonna – Christie’s auction house says a 30-year-old nude photo of her, which earned her a $25-modeling fee when she was a struggling 20-year-old dancer, is expected to sell for at least $10,000 in an upcoming auction February 12th. The full frontal photo was taken by Lee Friedlander and appeared in “Playboy” magazine in 1985.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen Degeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – TI performs “Whatever You Like“; and some guy named George Clooney drops by, the payoff of Ellen’s long campaign to land him.
• “House” (FOX) – Hugh Laurie’s irascible doc ‘Gregory House’ makes a move to a new time slot, 8 pm Mondays. Will it still pull big numbers without the “American Idol” lead-in it enjoyed on Tuesdays?
• “Kids’ Inaugural: We Are the Future” (Disney Channel) – This Washington DC concert which honors US military families is hosted by Michelle Obama & Jill Biden. Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Bros headline; Bow Wow, Billy Ray Cyrus, and Usher are also on the bill.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Seal promotes his latest album “Soul”.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Broken Social Scene performs in a rerun episode.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Lee Ann Womack (“Last Call”) is on.

FAME BEFORE BEAUTY:
Consumers make more of a connection with famous faces than beautiful ones, according to a new psychology study at Aston University in Birmingham, England. When participants were exposed to ads featuring famous people, non-famous people, attractive people, and average-looking folks, fame proved to be the most stimulating overall. Researchers conclude the modern brain has become hardwired to produce emotional reactions to celebrities and the products they endorse. That explains why marketers continue to pay stars the big bucks. (And untalented people like the Olsen twins are so stinkin’ rich!)
– “The Futurist”

2008’S TOP COUNTRY DANCE TUNES:
Marco Club Connection’s just-released 5th annual list of the most popular songs played in country dance clubs …
5. “She’s a Hottie” … Toby Keith.
4. “Shine” … Matt Stillwell.
3. “All Summer Long” … Kid Rock.
2. “Chicken Fried” … Zac Brown Band.
1. “Good Time” … Alan Jackson.
– CMT.com

MIRROR IMAGES:
After studying hundreds of married couples for 7 years, researchers at St Mary’s University in San Antonio, Texas have found that, most often, couples who stay happily married have similar personalities. Seems partners with similar ways of thinking find it easier to exchange ideas, resolve conflict, and share intimacy. (It’s too bad ‘opposites attract’.)
– ANI Science & Health

WORKING FOR THE MAN:
A 22-year-old student from San Diego CA with a degree in women’s studies is auctioning off her virginity in order to pay for her masters degree in family & marriage therapy. Natalie Dylan has received over 10,000 offers that have escalated to close to $4 million. She says she got the highly profitable idea from her 23-year-old sister who was able to pay for her own degree after prostituting herself for just 3 weeks. Dylan says she’s had offers from a wide range of men, including ‘weirdos’, those who get quite graphic, and polite requests from rich businessmen. (Hey, thanks for personally setting back the women’s movement by about a hundred years!)
– “Telegraph”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• An Alsatian dog’s sense of smell is estimated to be a million times better than a human’s.
• It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
• Lionesses like their males to be deep brunettes.

BS CHRONOMETER 01.19.09
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .

1934 [75] Lloyd Robertson, Stratford ON, CTV Chief News Anchor & Senior News Editor since 1976/CBC-TV’s “The National” anchor 1970-76/CAB Broadcast Hall of Fame (1998)

1946 [63] Dolly Parton, Sevierville TN, country singer/songwriter (“I Will Always Love You”)/movie actress (“Steel Magnolias”, “9 to 5“)/amusement park owner (“Dollywood”)

1955 [54] Paul Rodriguez, Culiacan, Mexico, standup comedian/movie actor (“Beverly Hills Chihuahua”, “The World’s Fastest Indian”)

1970 [39] Shawn Wayans, NYC, one of the movie acting Wayans brothers (“Little Man”, “White Chicks”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Confederate Heroes Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1807 birth of Robert E Lee. It’s an official holiday in Texas.

• “Edgar Allan Poe Birth Anniversary”, celebrating the 1809 birth of the famed American writer of “The Raven”, who’s also credited as the inventor of the mystery novel.

• “International Sing-Out Day”, a time to break out in song just like they do in goofy musicals.

• “Maintenance Day”, honoring all janitors and building maintenance personnel. (Because they’re good natured swabs.)

• “Martin Luther King Jr Day” in America, honoring the late civil rights leader near the anniversary of his birth date, January 15, 1929. It’s been an official federal holiday in the USA since 1986, observed annually on the 3rd Monday of January.

• “Penguin Awareness Day”, to highlight conservation of natural resources by increasing awareness of the interrelationship between humans and marine animals. (Not sure where the official celebration is being held, but you can bet they’ll be wearing tuxes!)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1929 [80] “Popeye” comic strip debuts in newspapers (animated movies follow)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1993 [16] Fleetwood Mac reunites to perform at Inaugural Gala for US president Bill Clinton

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1915 [94] 1st ‘Neon Sign’ (it actually spelled out ‘N-E-O-N’, because it was created by George Claude of Paris, France for a demonstration.)

1935 [74] 1st ‘Jockey Shorts’ go on sale at Marshall Field’s department store in Chicago (thereby beginning the boxers vs briefs debate)

1951 [58] 1st ‘Front-Hook Bra’ (fumbling teenage boys cheer!)

1996 [13] NHL approves move of Winnipeg Jets to Phoenix as the ‘Roadrunners’ (because desert dwellers are desperate to watch a game played on ice)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1939 [70] Wisconsin’s Ernest Hausen sets the world chicken-plucking record (4.4 seconds)

1967 [42] Germany’s Herr Karl Tausch writes world’s shortest will – ‘Vse Zene’ (‘All to wife’)

1977 [32] World’s ‘Largest-Ever Crowd’ as 12.7 million attend a religious festival in India (the bad news … only 37 port-a-johns)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Obama Inauguration (Washington DC)
[Tues] Philately Day
[Tues] Rid the World of Fad Diets Day
[Wed] Hugging Day
[Wed] Weedless Wednesday
[Wed] Squirrel Appreciation Day
[Thurs] Academy Award nominations announced
[Thurs] Women’s Healthy Weight Day
[Thurs] Answer Your Cat’s Question Day
[Thurs] Speak Up & Succeed Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Activity Professional Week / Healthy Weight Week / Hunt For Happiness Week / Medical Group Practice Week / National Non-Smoking Week in Canada

BULL’S BITS
BEST OF BS:

A highlight bit culled from 15 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS WAYS TO BEAT THE WINTER BLAHS:
• Assemble the family for your yearly ‘Naked Snow Angel’ ritual.
• Wear your entire wardrobe at once.
• Crank up the heat, open all the windows, and see if it’ll form a stratocumulus cold-front.
• Dress your snowman in a Speedo.
• Drink a pail-full of Extra Strength NyQuil, hibernate till Spring.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What profession do you hate the most? (A recent poll was topped by telemarketers, politicians, bouncers, real estate agents, and people on reality TV shows.)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Indecision may or may not be my problem.

BS BATTLE OF THE SEXES:
Questions for guys …
• Your wife just loves to kiss you on the ‘philtrum’. Where is it on your body?
a. Top of nose.
b. Upper lip. [CORRECT. It’s the little groove on your upper lip between the 2 lines running down from your nose.]
c. Lower back.
– Wikipedia.org

• What color is ‘puce’?
a. Yellowish-green.
b. Greenish-blue.
c. Reddish-brown. [CORRECT]
– “New Woman”

Questions for girls …
• According to official rules, what should happen if a football ‘disintegrates’ while in play?
a. It should immediately be whistled ‘dead’. [CORRECT. It could have shattered in the Pittsburgh cold last night.]
b. When the play is over, it should be replaced by a new ball.
c. The team supplying the balls is penalized 15 yards for ‘improper equipment’.
– American Football Coaches Association

• Women are most likely to lie in order to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. The #1 reason that men lie is …
a. To brag about themselves.
b. To avoid confrontation. [CORRECT]
c. To impress women.
– “US News & World Report”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A typical person can name about 300 of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Other people. (According to “O” magazine, chances are you can list around 300 individuals by name.)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
When all is said and done, more will be said then done.

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