Thursday, January 3, 2019 – Edition: #6364

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ It looks like congratulations are in order for Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.  “Us Weekly” reports that the couple are expecting their fourth baby via surrogate. A source says that Kimye’s new baby is due “in very early May.” Another ‘insider’ reveals that Kim “always wanted four kids.” Neither Kim nor Kanye have confirmed the news. As anyone with an internet connection and a basic knowledge of pop culture knows, the couple already have three kids together—five-year-old North, three-year-old Saint, and baby Chicago, who was born via surrogate.
-Cosmopolitan
★ Dina Lohan must be glad CBS has some extra change laying around after ousting Les Moonves from the company, because they’re offering her a major paycheck to join up for the second season of “Celebrity Big Brother.” The offer says that “Participants will receive a $100,000 guarantee,” and that “every time they survive one of the eight evictions, they will earn another $5,000.” It’s unclear if Lohan has made a final decision yet on whether she’ll allow herself to be locked in the famous “Big Brother” house, but producers say they will be shooting from January 13 to February 13, so a decision is needed soon.
-TheBlast
★ Rebel Wilson’s winter getaway didn’t exactly go as planned. The “Pitch Perfect” star decided to try her hand at skiing during her trip to Aspen, Colorado, but it was easier said then done. She ended up having to be rescued from the top of a mountain after realizing she had gone up too high, and couldn’t get back down. At first, she cheekily posted to her Instagram story that “This is a bit too experienced for me, so I’m just gonna slide down.” But then things escalated.  Next, she shared a video of herself strapped to a yellow stretcher while her rescuer prepared to take her down the mountain. Her hashtag? #HorizontalSkiing, of course, a reference to her “Pitch Perfect” character, Fat Amy’s, “horizontal running.”
-MSN
★ Andy Cohen is about to become a dad to a little boy. The “Watch What Happens Live” host has revealed that he is expecting a son via surrogate. On CNNs live New Year’s Eve show, Cohen said “This is the biggest year for me.”  While the 50-year-old hinted that he has a name picked out, he quickly said “no” when Anderson Cooper asked him if he would reveal it for the crowd.
-MSN
★ Gordon Ramsay and his brood posted a New Year’s Day announcement that his wife, Tana, is pregnant … very pregnant. The kids — 17-year-old Matilda, 19-year-old twins Holly and Jack, and 20-year-old Megan — were all there for the big reveal. The “Hell’s Kitchen” chef captioned the video, “Exciting news! Happy new year from all the Ramsays.” Tana suffered a miscarriage in 2016 at the age of 41. It’s unclear exactly how far along she is now, but she does have a prominent baby bump. She and Gordon Ramsey have been married 22 years.
-TMZ

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Nicole Kidman, Ron Livingston, Smashing Pumpkins (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jason Momoa, J.K. Simmons, Joe Machi (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Michael Douglas, Sen. Ben Sasse (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Natalie Portman, Adam Pally, Pistol Annies, Todd Sucherman (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jamie Dornan, Florence Welch, Florence + The Machine (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Cynthia Bailey, Anderson Cooper (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Alan Dershowitz
• “The Talk” (CBS): Shemar Moore
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jada Pinkett Smith, Shay Mitchell, Sam Heughan, Troye Sivan (R)
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Dax Shepard
• “The Last Days of JFK Jr.” (ABC): A remembrance of John F. Kennedy Jr., who died in a plane crash with his wife Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy and her sister Lauren Bessette on July 16, 1999.
• “The Titan Games” (NBC): Season premiere. Six contenders test their strength and fortitude as they compete to dethrone a reigning Titan.
• “The Blacklist” (NBC): In the Season 6 premiere, Red and the Task Force search for a plastic surgeon who creates new identities for wanted criminals.
• “Gotham” (FOX): In the Season 5 premiere, Jim Gordon and Bruce Wayne face the chaos Gotham City has become.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lana Del Rey – jokingly says her New Year’s resolution is to live her life ”like an Instagram baddie”, which would include ”Gummybear hair care” and spending the day in her pajamas.  She also posted a video in which she says, ”I think I’m putting a song out January 8th, but I’m not a thousand per cent on it. Maybe the 8th.” She confirmed that her new record is ”completely finished”.
• Ricky Martin – and his husband Jwan Yosef have announced that they have become parents to a “beautiful and healthy baby girl, Lucia Martin-Yosef.” The two are already parents to 10-year-old fraternal twin boys, Valentino and Matteo.
• Madonna — made a surprise performance at an historic bar that is about to celebrate the 50th anniversary of an event inside that triggered the gay rights movement. She and her 13-year-old son David Banda showed up at Stonewall in NYC and both took the stage to sing Elvis’ 1961 hit, ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’.  She also led the crowd in a ‘Like a Prayer’ singalong. The Stonewall riots went down in June 1969, after police raided the place and began arresting patrons.
• Jimmy Osmond – is recovering from a stroke.  The youngest sibling in the celebrity Osmond family soldiered through a Dec. 27 performance as Captain Hook in a stage presentation of “Peter Pan” in Birmingham, England and was taken to hospital immediately afterward, where the 55-year-old was diagnosed with a stroke.
• Motley Crue – Watch for them at the Super Bowl.  Or at least their commercial. A social media post suggests a surprise — perhaps related to their upcoming biopic “The Dirt” — will turn up on Feb. 3. They tweeted out three emojis followed by “02.03.19 #ad.” Later, they added, “Happy Crue Year to all our #Crueheads around the world. 2019 is going to EPIC!”
• Brian May – The Queen guitarist’s new single ‘New Horizons’ made its debut on NASA’s television channel a few minutes after midnight Jan. 1. A half-hour after the song’s release, the New Horizons probe few past Ultima Thule, 4.1 billion miles from Earth.  It’s the furthest any spacecraft has ever traveled. May has also worked on the New Horizons space project as an astrophysicist.
• Carrie Underwood — revealed on Instagram on Saturday that she’s reached a major pregnancy milestone — not being able to tie her own shoes — which means her due date is fast approaching. She announced her pregnancy in August, and while co-hosting the 2018 CMA Awards with Brad Paisley in November, she revealed she’s having another boy.
• Ashley McBryde – Her ‘Girl Goin’ Nowhere’ made former President Barack Obama’s list of his favorite songs from 2018.  Between that and being nominated for a Grammy, she says: “I got so overwhelmed.  There was so much love coming at me at one time.”

SAY CHEESE:
It’s exactly what it sounds like.  Cheese tea.  And in China, people are lining up for hours to get their hands on some.  The concoction, first made available in a shop called HEYTEA, is made by brewing a high-quality sweet tea and gently pouring a creamy cheese imported from New Zealand on top.  When served, there are distinct layers of tea and cheese.  It can be mixed together, or drunk as is, but either way, they say that the salty cheese pairs magnificently with the milder and sweet taste of the tea.  If you are ordering one, expect a 40-minute wait.  The drink has also become huge in Hong Kong, and has recently become available in Los Angeles and New York.
(I suppose anything can taste good if you drown it in enough caramel sauce…)
(I know it’s not MY cuppa tea…)
(Who am I to diss a brie?)
-SpoonUniversity

PASSING: THE FUTURE:
Some people just do NOT want to do things the normal way.  Even when it comes to dealing with their remains after they’ve passed.  With that in mind, here are some recently-developed ‘offbeat’ methods of post-mortem planning:
☞ Get shot into space:  Mesoloft — a company that specializes in launching human remains to an altitude of about 24,084 meters (80,000 ft), using balloons — is one of many businesses trying to convince you to slingshot your ashes high up into the sky. (Makes a great video for your funeral, too!)
☞ Turn you into diamonds:  Your cremated remains can be pressed into diamond form using a 13,000-pound industrial machine. Once cut and polished, the diamond can be laser etched with a “unique identifier.”  (I always wanted to be “girl’s best friend”!)
☞ Live on as a coral reef:  If you’d like your remains to serve a useful purpose — like protecting fragile underwater ecosystems — consider having them strapped to a “Reef Ball.” The ball mimics reef material and allows sea life to attach to it.  Eternal Reefs uses a special blend of concrete and combines it with your cremated remains.  (If I wanted to be encased in concrete at the bottom of the ocean, I would have joined the mob!)
☞ Let mushrooms consume your body:  A company known as Ceoio offers the Infinity Burial Suit — a full-body suit that can grow mushrooms specifically bred to break down hair, skin, and nails. Spores of these “Infinity Mushrooms” are then infused into the cloth of the body suit, speeding up decomposition significantly.  (Worst case of athlete’s foot on record…)
☞ Be buried on a floating island:  In Hong Kong, you can choose to be buried aboard the “Floating Eternity” — a seaworthy graveyard that was designed to relieve pressure on overcrowded cemeteries.
☞ Be digitally resurrected:  Sweden-based funeral agency Fenix Begravning and others are using sophisticated AI algorithms to create an interactive digital identity based on a deceased person.  This digital self can mimic how a person speaks through text only, but they hope to expand to verbal communication in the future. The technology behind it is an algorithm that’s fed the deceased person’s social media, chatlogs, and even emails.  (No way.  I can’t even trust my alive-self not to say the wrong thing to the wrong person!)
-Futurism

THE MOST-ANTICIPATED MOVIES OF 2019:
According to respondents of a poll by the movie ticket booking company ‘Fandango’…
1. Avengers: Endgame (April 26)
2. Captain Marvel (March 8)
3. Star Wars: Episode IX (Dec. 20)
4. Spider-Man: Far From Home (July 5)
5. Toy Story 4 (June 21)
6. Glass (Jan. 18)
7. The Lion King (July 19)
8. Aladdin (May 24)
9. Dumbo (March 29)
10. Joker (Oct. 4)
(Holy superhero movies, Batman!)
-Fandango

BS WEB GOODIE:
65,000 Green Day fans sing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’…all of it…even the guitar solo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZnBNuqqz5g 

DID YOU KNOW?
The fourth most Googled health-related question in the U.S. in 2018 was “How long does weed stay in your urine?”
-CNN

BS CHRONOMETER 01.03.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [73] John Paul Jones, Kent England, bassist/multi-instrumentalist/producer (Led Zeppelin – ‘Stairway to Heaven’, ‘Whole Lotta Love’)

1950 [69] Victoria Principal, Fukuoka, Japan, TV actress (“Dallas” 1978-1991, “Titans” 2000-2001)

1956 [63] Mel Gibson, Peekskill NY, movie producer/director (“Braveheart”, “The Passion of the Christ”)/movie actor (“Lethal Weapon” series, “Mad Max” series) COMING UP…”The Professor and the Madman” 2019

1969 [50] Michael Schumacher, Hürth, West Germany, retired Formula One racing driver (7-time champion who continues to receive private rehab after a December 2013 traumatic brain injury suffered in a skiing accident)

1975 [44] Thomas Bangalter, Paris, France, electronica musician (Daft Punk-‘Starboy’ w/The Weeknd, ‘Get Lucky’ f/Pharrell Williams)

1975 [44] Danica McKeller, San Diego CA, TV actress (“The Wonder Years” 1988-1993, “Inspector Mom” 2006-2007) COMING UP…”The Matchmaker Mysteries” 2019

1981 [38] Eli Manning, New Orleans LA, NFL quarterback (2X Super Bowl Champ and MVP-NY Giants)/brother of retired QB Peyton Manning/son of NFL veteran Archie Manning

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “J.R.R. Tolkien Day”, recognizing “The Lord of the Rings” author’s birthday.  The Tolkien Society asks fans to honor the author’s January 3, 1892 birth with a toast.

• “Chocolate Covered Cherry Day”, celebrating the traditional dessert.  Variations include cherry cordials with liquid fillings often including cherry liqueur, chocolate-covered candied cherries and chocolate-covered dried cherries.  (Go ahead…wasn’t one of your resolutions to eat more fruit??)

• “Drinking Straw Day”, celebrating its invention on this date in 1888.  Drinking straws were hand-rolled until 1905. How on earth were kids able to enjoy juice in their minivans before the invention of the straw?

• “Festival of Sleep Day”, as declared by some anonymous walking zombie somewhere. Thanks to a combination of late hours, alcohol, rich foods, exposure to unfamiliar surroundings, and artificial light deep into the night over the holiday season, experts say most of us build up ‘sleep debt’, a condition which can affect how well we sleep for weeks afterward.

• “Humiliation Day” No, it is NOT a day to humiliate someone!  It is a day to recognize the negative effects that humiliation can have on people or groups of people (Or dogs forced to wear onesies…)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Dimpled Chad Day
[Fri] Spaghetti Day
[Sat] Fruitcake Toss Day
[Sat] National Bird Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2013 [06] Actor Gerard Depardieu is granted citizenship by Russian president Vladimir Putin after he renounces his French citizenship due to the country’s high taxes

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002 [17] Liam & Noel Gallagher of Oasis top a poll on the celebrities you would least like to live next to, getting 40% of the vote

2004 [15] Britney Spears weds hometown pal Jason Alexander at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas and then, 55 hours later, has the union annulled

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1987 [32] The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inducts its 1st female artist, Aretha Franklin

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1992 [27] Bernard Moeller of Pennsylvania gets his 14,000th tattoo, leading to a listing in the “Guinness Book of World Records” as ‘Person with the Most Individual Tattoo Designs’

2014 [05] According to the ‘Bloomberg Billionaires Index’, the net worth of the 300 richest people in the world collectively increases by $524 billion and the group has an aggregate net worth of $3.7 trillion

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ During your lifetime, you’ll eat about 60,000 pounds of food.  That’s the weight of about 6 elephants.
✓ There wasn’t a single pony in the Pony Express, just horses.
✓ The temperature of the earth’s interior increases by 1 degree every 60 feet down.
✓ The volume of the Earth’s moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean.
✓ A ball of glass will bounce higher than a ball made of rubber.
✓ Attics were invented in Attica.
-RandomFactGenerator

BS BAD CONFERENCE CALL ETIQUETTE:
• Eating Doritos
• Asking other participants what they are wearing
• Screaming “YAHTZEE!” When you don’t have Yahtzee
• Fake accent
• Mocking other participants with sock puppets
• Answering all questions with the phrase “What would Jesus do?”
• Forgetting to hit ‘mute’ before going to the bathroom
• Disguising your voice with helium and talking trash about the boss
• Putting your hands over your ears and saying, “La-la-la I can’t hear you!”
• Beatboxing
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Why do we always ask babies and pets the same question twice?
• Why does someone recite at a play, but play at a recital?
• Why is it that people will buy anything that’s ‘one per customer’?
• Is cheese the plural of choose?
• Why is it that if you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire?
• When looking at a group picture, has anyone ever looked at anyone besides themselves when they said “I love it!”?
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2017

BS PHONE STARTER:
If it were up to you, what word would you banish from the English language?
This year’s list, as seen in yesterday’s BS:  https://tinyurl.com/y8s5hcsv

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m not saying your perfume is too strong. I’m just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  53% of married women can’t get their husbands to do THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Watch a chick flick

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.