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BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
Happy New Year, everyone! “Bull Sheet” subscriber accounts have been credited for missed service days over the holiday season.

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Tiger Woods’ wife Elin Nordegren has fueled rumors of a permanent split after being spotted
celebrating the New Year and her 30th birthday (January 1st) with her twin sister and a group of close pals at the Chamonix ski resort in the French Alps … not a Tiger in sight.
– RadarOnline.com
• Meantime, a Brit tabloid is reporting Elin has managed to extract a $300-million separation settlement from her philandering hubby. It also claims that Tiger now plans to extend his break from golf until 2012.
– “News Of the World”
• 40-year-old actress Jennifer Aniston has confirmed she’s planning to open an upmarket Mexican restaurant in NYC. She says – if all goes well – the eatery will open this year and she promises to ‘mingle with customers’ and be a ‘guest waitress’.
– “Daily Mirror”
• 21-year-old actress Vanessa Hudgens is reportedly threatening to dump her 22-year-old “High School Musical” co-star/boyfriend Zac Efron if he doesn’t stop playing computer games. Word has it he’s been spending most of his time on his X-Box console since being given a stash of new videogames for Christmas.
– ContactMusic.com
• 44-year-old “Two & A Half Men” star Charlie Sheen is undergoing laser surgery to remove a number of his tattoos. Legal papers reveal he’s in the process of having 4 of the 11 inked artworks taken off, including angel wings on his right ankle and arm tattoos of a Japanese samurai, a zipper, and a NY Yankees logo. Sheen was arrested on charges of domestic violence against wife Brooke Mueller on December 25th. He was released from jail after posting an $8,500 bond and is scheduled to appear in court on February 8th.
– StarPulse.com
• 21-year-old Brampton ON-born actor Michael Cera (“Juno”) is campaigning for a role in the new “Ghostbusters” movie. He recently worked with director Harold Ramis, who starred in the first two “Ghostbusters” films, on the new movie “Youth in Revolt”. Cera says he used free time on the set to grill Ramis about the 1980s film franchise. As a kid, Cera says he wanted to be Bill Murray’s character, ‘Peter Venkman’. “Ghostbusters III” is tentatively scheduled for 2012.
– People.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love” (ABC) – In the season premiere, commercial airline pilot Jake Pavelka (a runner-up on “The Bachelorette”) meets a pool of 25 bachelorettes, from whom he’ll quickly have to eliminate 10.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – OK Go (“Oh No”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Switchfoot (“Hello Hurricane”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – David Gray (“Draw the Line”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Mariah Carey (“Memoirs Of an Imperfect Angel”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Katharine McPhee (“Katharine McPhee”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Elton John – He says he’s been helping Eminem fight substance abuse for more than a year. As a recovered drug abuser, Elton says he’s pleased to counsel others if they want the assistance but drugs often make people so cocky and arrogant they often reject the help.
• Kenny Chesney – He sold $71.1-million-worth of concert tickets in 2009 according to Pollstar, ranking him first among country artists.
• Leona Lewis – The “Bleeding Love” singer is hobbling around on crutches after injuring her leg in a horse riding accident and being taken to hospital in Los Angeles.
• Rolling Stones – 62-year-old guitarist Ronnie Wood, who recently split from 21-year-old Russian girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova, is now reportedly drinking 2 bottles of vodka a day. Word has it the band is threatening to dump him if he doesn’t get some rehab help.
• Soundgarden – Chris Cornell has confirmed the grunge rockers are back together for the first time in 12 years and are planning a series of concerts. They split in 1997.
• TI – He’s wasting no time following his release from prison last week, heading straight into the recording studio to lay down some new tracks.

GROW YOUR OWN:
A group of British scientists predict you will soon be able to replace missing teeth by … growing replacements. The procedure is fairly simple: stem cells taken from patients are carefully nurtured in a lab, nudged down a path that will make them grow into a tooth. After a couple of weeks the ball of cells, known as a ‘bud’, is ready to be implanted. Tests reveal what type of tooth – for example, a molar or an incisor – the bud will form. The procedure holds great promise in the UK, where the average Brit over 50 has lost 12 of their 32 teeth.
– Guardian.co.uk

GREATEST GOOFS:
A new ranking by a website that tracks credibility errors & continuity goofs in movies has listed the all-time leading films for most mistakes spotted (in parentheses) …
5. “The Lord Of the Rings: The Fellowship Of the Ring” (262 boo-boos)
4. “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace” (267)
3. “Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets” (289)
2. “Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban” (296)
1. “Apocalypse Now” (390)
Among recent releases: “The Blind Side” (3); “The Princess & The Frog” (3); “Avatar” (2).
NET: http://www.moviemistakes.com

REACHING RESOLUTIONS:
Tips from the American Psychiatric Association on how to maintain New Year’s resolutions …
• Keep It Simple – Focus on 1 or 2 resolutions at most.
• Try Again – Everyone has made and broken past resolutions. That doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t succeed this time.
• Give Yourself Time – Plan what you’d like to accomplish over a 3-to-6-month period.
• Think Small – Try to achieve small goals over time, giving you a sense of accomplishment and motivation to keep going.
– “New Era”

YOU’VE LOST THAT LOVIN’ FEELING:
Italian researchers at the University of Pisa have found that the body chemistry which makes us sexually attracted to new partners lasts, at most, 2 years. In testing, the levels of hormones called ‘neutrophins’ were found to be much higher in people in the early stages of romance. In those who’d been with their partners for longer periods these so-called ‘love molecules’ were found to have disappeared, even though the relationship survived. Researchers have found the lust molecule is eventually replaced by the so-called ‘cuddle hormone’ – oxytocin – in couples who’ve been together for several years.
– “Chemistry World”

MOST POPULAR WEB BROWSERS:
A new ranking of the most used web browsers, rounded off to the nearest percentage point …
3. Google’s new Chrome (5% and growing quickly).
2. Mozilla’s Firefox (25% and moving in on Microsoft).
1. Microsoft’s Internet Explorer (63%, but losing popularity).
– PCWorld.com

LET’S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN:
Exactly 10 years after the much-ballyhooed ‘Y2K Bug’ was expected to crash computers worldwide, computers at Australia’s Bank of Queensland skipped ahead 6 years to January 1, 2016. The glitch has caused credit and debit card transactions to be rejected, giving card owners ‘card expired’ warnings on receipts that are dated 6 years in the future. A customer service rep for the bank confirms all its card machines are affected and says troubleshooters are working on the problem.
– Cairns.co.au

FOR THE RECORD:
Japanese engineer Takuo Toda, a professor at Tokyo University, has set a new world record for ‘Maximum Time Aloft For a Paper Airplane’. His hand-folded origami construction specially designed for ‘long haul’ flights stayed aloft for 26.1 seconds. His lifetime best of 27.9 seconds, a Guinness World Record, was set in Hiroshima, Japan earlier, but that mark was achieved with an altered airplane held together by cellophane tape. The new record involves a plane made from a single sheet of paper only. Toda predicts he will eventually break 30 seconds, saying it’s just a matter of time.
– AP

BS AMAZING FACT:
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
– GreatFacts.com

BS CHRONOMETER 01.04.10

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1957 [53] Patty Loveless (Patricia Lee Ramey), Pikeville KY, country singer (“Chains”, “Here I Am”)

1958 [52] Matt Frewer, Washington DC [raised Victoria BC & Ottawa ON], TV actor (“Intelligence”)/movie actor (“Dawn Of the Dead”)

1960 [50] Michael Stipe, Decatur GA, rock singer/songwriter (REM-“Everybody Hurts”, “Losing My Religion”)

1962 [48] Dave Foley, Toronto ON, movie actor (“Cars”, “South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut”)/TV actor (“Newsradio” 1995-99, “Kids In the Hall” 1989-94)

1966 [44] Deana Carter, Nashville TN, country singer (“How Do I Get There”, “Strawberry Wine”) FACTOID: She’s named after late singer/movie actor Dean Martin.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Thank God It’s Monday Day”. You thought Fridays were fun? Well today we’re celebrating all the great things that happen on Mondays like … new jobs, new promotions, new year, new week, new resolutions, and all those other things that give you reason to celebrate.

• “Trivia Day”, honoring those with ‘doctorates in uselessology’. For a switch, try playing ‘Stump the Chump’, where listeners call in questions for YOU to answer.

• “World Braille Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1809 birth of Louis Braille in Coupvray, France, a small town near Paris. In 1829, he published “Method of Writing Words, Music & Plain Song by Means of Dots, for Use By the Blind”. Today, this method – Braille – is used in virtually every language as the standard form of reading & writing by those with vision loss. FACTOID: Using both hands to read Braille achieves an average speed of 115 words a minute, compared with 250 words a minute for sighted reading.
NET: http://www.cnib.ca/en/living/braille/louis-braille/

• “World Hypnotism Day”, with the objective of correcting the myths and misconceptions about hypnotism while promoting the  truth and benefits of the process that helps many put aside fears, and change what they believed was unchangeable. (Not to mention bark like a dog.)
NET: http://www.worldhypnotismday.com

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1991 [19] 1st recording artist to release 7 singles from 1 album (Janet Jackson-“Rhythm Nation 1814”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1885 [125] 1st ‘Appendectomy’ is performed (Dr William Grant on a 22-year-old woman in Davenport, Iowa)

1910 [100] The ‘Blender’ is invented (next day, the pina colada is invented!)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1986 [24] 1st NHLer with 100 points in 7 consecutive seasons (Wayne Gretzky-Edmonton Oilers)

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Jan 5] World Junior Hockey Tournament Gold Medal Game (TSN) / Bean Day / Bird Day
[Jan 6] People’s Choice Awards (Los Angeles) / Epiphany / Twelfth Night / Three Kings Day
[Jan 7] I’m Not Going to Take It Anymore Day / International Programmers Day / Orthodox Christmas
[Jan 8] Elvis Presley’s 75th Birth Anniversary / Bubble Bath Day / Learn to Ski Day / English Toffee Day / Midwife Day / Show & Tell Day at Work / “Daybreakers”; “Leap Year”; “Youth in Revolt” open in movie theaters
[Jan 9] Balloon Ascension Day / Fruitcake Toss Day / Positively Penguins Day
[Jan 10] 9th Annual No Pants! Subway Ride / BS Egg Balancing Day / Cut Your Energy Costs Day / Stephen Foster Day
[Jan 11] Clean Off Your Desk Day
[Jan 13] Rubber Duckie Day
[Jan 14] “Project Runway 7″ begins (Lifetime) / Dress Up Your Pet Day / Organize Your Home Day
[Jan 15] 2010 Big Day Out Festival Tour begins (Auckland NZ) / Humanitarian Day / International Fetish Day / “The Book of Eli”; “The Spy Next Door” open in movie theaters
[Jan 16] Religious Freedom Day
[Jan 17]  67th Golden Globes (Los Angeles) / Bald Eagle Appreciation Day / Customer Service Day / Hot Heads Chili Days / Kid Inventors Day / World Religion Day
[Jan 18] Most Depressing Day Of the Year / Winnie the Pooh Day / Thesaurus Day / Martin Luther King Day (USA)
[Jan 19] Rid the World of Fad Diets & Gimmicks Day
[Jan 20] Camcorder Day / Disc Jockey Day
[Jan 21] Get to Know Your Customers Day / Hugging Day / Women in Blue Jeans Day / Women’s Healthy Weight Day
[Jan 22] George Strait-Reba McEntire tour begins (Baltimore MD) / Answer Your Cats Questions Day / Celebration of Life Day / “Extraordinary Measures”; “Legion”; “Tooth Fairy” open in movie theaters
[Jan 23] 16th Screen Actor’s Guild Awards (Los Angeles) / Country Music Association of Australia Awards (Tamworth NSW) / Handwriting Day / Pie Day / Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day
[Jan 24] Belly Laugh Day / Compliment Day / Ozzy Osbourne autobiography “I Am Ozzy” released (North America)
[Jan 25] Better Business Communication Day / Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day / A Room of One’s Own Day
[Jan 26] Michael Jackson’s “This Is It” DVD Release / Peanut Brittle Day / Speak Up & Succeed Day
[Jan 27] Holocaust Memorial Day / Thomas Crapper Day / Vietnam Peace Day
[Jan 29] Freethinkers Day / World Leprosy Day / Fun at Work Day / “Edge of Darkness”; “When in Rome” open in movie theaters
[Jan 30] Full ‘Wolf’ Moon / Inane Voicemail Message Day / Tu B’Shvat (Jewish) / Miss America Pageant (Las Vegas)
[Jan 31] 52nd Grammy Awards (Los Angeles) /  Inspire Your Heart With Art Day / Seed Swap Day
[Feb 12-28] XXI Olympic Winter Games (Vancouver BC)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Celebration of Life Week / Diet Resolution Week / Home Office Safety & Security Week / Lose Weight, Feel Great Week / New Year’s Resolutions Week / Someday We’ll Laugh About This Week / Women’s Self-Empowerment Week

BULL’S BITS

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BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 16 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
FAMOUS LAST WORDS:
• “I’ll get a world record for this!”
• “Let me just reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.”
• “Don’t worry, it’s fireproof.”
• “What does this button do?”
• “I’m making a citizen’s arrest!”
• “So you’re a cannibal, eh?”
• “Are you sure the power’s turned off?”
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Repartee: An insult with a suit and tie on.

CELEBRITY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS:
• Chris Brown: Have my own dating show on VH1 entitled “A Punch of Love with Chris Brown.”
• Tila Tequila: Create a bobblehead doll with the same measurements as my own head.
• Kanye West: Show the world I’m not an a–hole by only interrupting those long, boring Oscar speeches at the Academy Awards.
• Taylor Swift: Send Kanye a cheque for making me even more famous.
• Lady Gaga: Lift weights to get big muscles like my boyhood idol Madonna.
• Megan Fox: Keep my mouth shut and just be beautiful.
• Jon & Kate Gosselin: Adopt Octomom’s babies and rename the show “Jon & Kate Plus Another 8”.
• Tiger Woods: Get back to cheating again once this scandal blows over.
– Condensed from StarPulse.com.

BS PHONE STARTER:
It’s now set to hit the market – ‘Bacon Popcorn’. Good idea or bad?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Stats show that guys who give THIS up as a New Year’s resolution last less than a week on average.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Booze.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The future isn’t what it used to be.