More From the Sheethouse!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
It’s now been revealed why troubled comedian Artie Lange (“Howard Stern Show”) was hospitalized last weekend – he stabbed himself 9 times (50 Cent envy?) . . . Former reality TV star Tila Tequila (“A Shot At Love”) has posted online a goodbye video to her ‘fiancée’, late Johnson & Johnson heir Casey Johnson (found dead in her LA home Monday) and is also embroiled in a fight with Johnson’s friends Nicky Hilton & Bijou Phillips over who gets the late socialite’s pooches (these people take tacky to new levels!) . . . Women may swoon over this – 45-year-old Brit actor Clive Owen (“Duplicity”) says he maintains the homefront whenever his wife’s away and loves to do housework (except for vacuuming – it sucks) . . . 33-year-old actress Reese Witherspoon, who commands $20 million per movie, tells “InStyle” magazine she’s frugal when it come to fashion, regularly meeting with girlfriends to swap clothes (hope they’re all shrimpy – she’s just 5′-1”) . . . Witherspoon’s ex-, 35-year-old actor Ryan Phillippe, hasn’t been seen with his Aussie actress girlfriend Abbie Cornish since October, insiders saying they fight all the time over his reluctance to commit (word has it he’s a serial womanizer) . . . Health experts are lambasting 23-year-old “Transformers” actress Megan Fox for advocating cider vinegar consumption as a quick method of staying in shape and flushing toxins from the body, a method she claims is much easier than dieting or exercise (she’s so dim, she likely thinks she’s drinking water) . . . And terminally tipsy “America’s Got Talent” judge David Hasselhoff has announced he’s quitting the gig in order to concentrate on his own TV show ‘which will be announced very shortly’ (BS translation: Cowell canned him.)
WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – This afternoon Mary J Blige (“Stronger With Each Tear”).
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Tonight Lyle Lovett (“Natural Forces”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Colbie Caillat (“Breakthrough”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Metric (“Live It Out”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Nick Jonas & The Administration (“Who I Am”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight The Dodos (“Time to Die”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – This morning guest co-host Nick Jonas.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Former NBA star Charles Barkley hosts; musical guest Alicia Keys.
• “The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special: In 3-D! On Ice!” (FOX/Global) – Sunday filmmaker Morgan Spurlock interviews fans of the series; a visit to the home of the show’s biggest fan.
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight OK Go (“Of the Blue Color Of the Sky”)
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – Her father Mitch is worried she’s swapped drug addiction for an even more expensive habit … designer shopping sprees. (What’s that old saying about a silk purse?)
• Carrie Underwood – She’ll make an appearance on “How I Met Your Mother” (CBS) in a special one-off guest star role, set to tape later this month.
• Jennifer Lopez – She’s lashed out at Oscar voters for not nominating her for her role in “El Cantante”, the 2007 film in which she co-starred with hubby Marc Anthony. (It’s 3 years later, time to move on!)
• Lady Gaga – She’ll become a comic book character in Bluewater Productions’ upcoming “Fame” series. The comic will be available on “Free Comic Book Day”, May 5th.
• Rihanna – Not satisfied with being a globe-conquering pop star, her future goals include movie acting and designing her own clothing line.
• Shania Twain – Today she guest-hosts “The Current” radio show on CBC Radio 1, interviewing Queen Rania of Jordan. Later this month she’s a guest judge for “American Idol” auditions. (Singing? Who needs singing?)
• Snoop Dogg – He’s taped another guest-starring role in daytime drama “One Life To Live” which is sceduled to air February 24th. He first appeared on the soap in 2008.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Daybreakers” ( R-Rated Sci-Fi Thriller ): Set in the year 2017, when a plague has transformed almost every human into a vampire. Ethan Hawke stars as a researcher who works with a covert band of vampires on a plan to save humankind. Co-stars Willem Dafoe, Sam Neill. Shot entirely in Australia. Can yet another vampire story make it at the movies?
NET: http://daybreakersmovie.com
• “Leap Year” ( PG Romantic Comedy ): Amy Adams plays a bride wannabe who decides to take advantage of ‘Leap Day’, an Irish tradition that encourages women to propose to men February 29th. However, one her way to meet her boyfriend in Dublin, her plane gets re-routed and lands her at the door of a Welsh innkeeper. Co-stars Matthew Goode, Adam Scott.
NET: http://www.universalpictures.com/leapyear
• “Youth in Revolt” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Michael Cera (“Juno”) plays a frustrated teenager living in a California trailer park who concocts a series of plans to lose his virginity to a precocious local girl, played by Portia Doubleday. Co-stars Ray Liota, Steve Buscemi, Zach Galifianakis (“The Hangover”). Shot on location in Michigan.
NET: http://youthinrevolt-themovie.com
MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2010:
According to a new poll, these are the 2010 movies most respondents are looking forward to …
3. “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” (June 30).
2. “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows: Part I” (November 19).
1. “Iron Man 2” (May 7).
And these are the year’s most anticipated onscreen couples …
3. Jennifer Lopez & Alex O’Loughlin in “The Back-Up Plan” (April 16).
2. Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler in “The Bounty Hunter” (March 19).
1. Taylor Swift & Taylor Lautner in “Valentine’s Day” (February 12).
– Fandango.com
2010 CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW:
This weekend the world’s largest consumer technology show, “CES ‘10″, is on in Las Vegas. Some 130,000 visitors are expected to take in over 2,700 exhibits unveiling the latest electronic gizmos & gadgets.This is the show where many now-common devices were first introduced (Blu-ray Disc in 2004, Xbox in 2001, HDTV in 1998, DVD in 1996). Among this year’s new products: 3D TV; Mobile Digital Television; Solar Cell Wireless Charger; Pocket Radar Gun; Electronic Phone Call Screener; PhoneWatch (video camera with Bluetooth cellphone, also tells time); and this year’s buzz product – Slate-Style Tablets, portable online readers that are being unveiled by several companies.
NET: http://www.cesweb.org
– MSN News
THRIFTY FOLKS:
Academics are beginning to study the implications of the recent recession on the current generation who are in their late teens or young adulthood, suggesting it may have much the same effect as the Great Depression of the 1930s in the way it transformed many who suffered through it into conservative spenders and investors. Experts say people between 18-and-25 are most likely to be affected … for the rest of their lives. (‘The Tightwad Generation’?)
– “Chicago Tribune”
SMELL YOURSELF SKINNY:
We’re all familiar with scents that arouse the appetite, but now scientists in The Netherlands are conducting long-term studies to see if specific aromas might make us feel full. So far research has found molecules that make up food’s aroma which can activate areas of the brain that trigger the feeling of fullness. As we chew food, scents wafting up to the back of the nose from inside the mouth help quench the sensation of hunger. Food technologists think that by controlling aromas they might be able to lower the amount of food we consume by about 10%. (“Hey, this steak smells like socks!”)
– LiveScience.com
BS AMAZING FACTS:
• A new US study finds that global warming is creeping across the world at a speed of a quarter-of-a-mile (400 m) each year. To survive, many plants & animals must also move (north or south) that far each year.
– “The Guardian”
• 400 is the number of successive generations that have experienced a broadly stable climate. Ours is the last.
– “BBC Focus Magazine”
BS CHRONOMETER 01.08.10
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [63] David Bowie (Jones), London UK, classic rock singer (“Fame”, “Space Oddity”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1996)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1997)
1967 [43] R (Robert) Kelly, Chicago IL, R&B singer (“Step In the Name of Love”, “Ignition”)/briefly married to late singer Aaliyah until marriage annulled because she was a 15-year-old minor
1973 [37] Sean Paul (Henriques), Kingston, Jamaica, pop/dancehall/reggae singer (“Temperature”, “Baby Boy”)
1979 [31] Sarah Polley, Toronto ON, movie director (“Away From Her”)/movie actress (“The Sweet Hereafter”)/former TV star (“Road to Avonlea” 1990-94)
1983 [27] Disashi Lumumbo-Kasongo, Geneva NY, hip-hop/rock guitarist (Gym Class Heroes-“Cupid’s Chokehold”)
SATURDAY –
TV sportscaster Dick Enberg (CBS) is 75; Classic rock guitarist Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin) is 66; Rock singer Dave Matthews (Dave Matthews Band) is 43; Pop singer AJ McLean (Backstreet Boys) is 32; Kate Middleton (girlfriend of Britain’s Prince William) is 28; Rock guitarist Drew Brown (OneRepublic) is 26; Pop singer Paolo Nutini (“New Shoes”) is 23.
SUNDAY –
Canadian rock icon Ronnie Hawkins (The Band) is 75; Classic rock/pop singer Rod Stewart (“Maggie May”) is 65; Classic rock singer/keyboardist Donald Fagen (Steely Dan) is 62; Classic rocker Pat Benatar (“Hit Me With Your Best Shot”) is 57; Rock guitarist Matt Roberts (3 Doors Down) is 32; Rock singer Brent Smith (Shinedown) is 32.
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bubble Bath Day”, so don’t forget to feed the kids beans before their nightly soak!
• “Eat Something Raw Day”, designed to stimulate our interest in consuming fruits and vegetables. Raw steak, anyone?
• “Elvis Presley’s Birthday” (1935-77), the 75th anniversary of ‘The King’ being hatched in Tupelo MS. Another excuse to roll out more Presley product. This year that includes the new 4-CD box set, “Elvis 75: Good Rockin’ Tonight”, which includes 100 re-mastered recordings.
• “Learn to Ski Day”, a day to strap on the old boards and … fall on your ass.
• “Show & Tell Day at Work”, a chance for adults to partake in the kindergarten ritual with co-workers. A good day to have your crew each bring in something that makes a unique sound.
• “Volunteer Firefighters’ Day”, a salute to those part-time heroes who take time out of their busy lives to snuff out infernos … as a hobby.
• “Women’s Day” (or “Midwife’s Day”) in Greece, when women spend the day in cafés while men do housework and look after children. Traditionally, men caught outside are stripped and doused with cold water!
SATURDAY –
• “Fruitcake Toss Day”. Let’s face it, you’re never gonna eat the thing, so this is a fun way to get rid of the Christmas fruitcake no one’s dared to touch. Go for a distance record!
• “Static Electricity Day”. Guess you can count on this being a bad-hair day.
• “Step-Father’s Day”, a day to honor ‘all step-fathers everywhere who come into our lives and hold a special place in our hearts’. You know … the boyfriend Mommy left Daddy for.
SUNDAY –
• “BS Egg Balancing Day”, the day that eggs will stand at attention if you carefully set them on their fat end on a flat surface (truth be told, it works any day but it’s a nifty mid-Winter diversion).
In 2008, physics teacher Danielle Bilodeau’s Grade 6-to-8 science class in LeRoy SK set a new “BS Egg Balancing Day” record … 93 eggs standing proud!
• “Cut Your Energy Costs Day”, a day to get smart about saving energy through efficient heating & cooling, and through moderating electricity usage.
NET: http://www.aadl.org/node/1246
• “No Pants! Subway Ride”, the 9th annual public participation event that began in New York City and has since spread to subway systems worldwide. This year pranksters are expected to drop trou in at least 35 cities, including Calgary, Edmonton, Toronto, and Vancouver. What’s the point? Fun!
NET: http://improveverywhere.com/2010/01/04/global-no-pants-subway-ride-2010/
• “Peculiar People Day”, a good day to have listeners call in stories about the extraordinary, unusual, strange, odd, uncommon, intriguing, different, abnormal, and quirky people they know.
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1993 [17] US Postal Service issues Elvis Presley commemorative stamp on what would have been his 58th birthday (the all-time ‘thinnest Elvis’)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2001 [09] 10-digit telephone dialing begins in Toronto, then later spreads to metropolitan areas across Canada
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1998 [12] Ice Storm of ‘98 cuts power to more than a million homes in eastern Ontario and in Québec (with damage estimated at $650 million, it’s listed in the “Guinness Book of Records” as ‘Most Damaging Ice Storm’)
2004 [06] Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II christens the largest & most expensive passenger ship ever built, the billion-dollar ‘Queen Mary 2′ (Southampton, England)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Clean Off Your Desk Day
[Tues] National Pharmacist Day
[Tues] Work Harder Day
[Wed] International Skeptics Day
[Thurs] “Project Runway 7” begins (Lifetime)
[Thurs] Dress Up Your Pet Day
This Week Is … Home Office Safety & Security Week
This Month Is … Volunteer Blood Donor Month
BULL’S BITS
BS WAYS TO CELEBRATE ELVIS’ 75TH BIRTHDAY:
• Dress in an undersized white jumpsuit & attempt some lame karate moves.
• Inhale an entire birthday cake.
• Use a .457 Magnum to turn off your TV.
• Put an all-you-can-eat buffet out of business.
• Convince your only daughter to briefly marry a spendthrift movie actor and a sickly androgynous weirdo.
• Say ‘Thank-you, ma’am’ to everyone in sight.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I feel a lot more like I do now than I did when I came in.
BS PHONE STARTER:
Videogames: harmless pastime or addiction that turns kids into zombies? (Writing on the “Mom Blog”, Marla Jo Fisher says she truly believes videogames were created by the devil to turn otherwise normal children into drooling, glassy-eyed stooges. She contends that after her son plays them at friends’ houses, he comes home irritable and testy for the rest of the day.)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Just one of THESE is typically made from dozens or possibly even a hundred different cattle.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A fast-food hamburger. (CBS News)
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Nothing is so simple that it can’t get screwed up.
