You’ve Got Yourself in Deep Sheet!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Simon Cowell is hoping to have a charity single featuring an all-star cast of recording artists put together by today, a major project he committed to completing in just 48 hours (one of about a dozen songs in the works) . . . 29-year-old actor Channing Tatum (“GI Joe: The Rise Of Cobra”) is using expertise gained from his previous job to develop a new movie based on – male strippers (and yes, he says he’ll be ‘getting his thong on’ again) . . . James Cameron’s “Avatar” is closing in on his epic “Titanic” as the top grossing film of all-time, with $1.662 billion in worldwide box office heading into this weekend (“Titanic’s” mark: $1,843 billion) . . . 34-year-old sorta actress Tara Reid is said to be thrilled her German millionaire boyfriend Michael Axtmann proposed this week (it’s been a long time since she’s earned “American Pie”-type money) . . . 46-year-old actor Johnny Depp tops the new “GQ” magazine ranking of ‘Most Stylish Men In the World’, beating out the likes of Brad Pitt, Jay-Z, and Robert Pattinson (it’s that hank of hair always flopping in his eyes that locked it down) . . . Famous person Paris Hilton is planning to boost her assets with a new line of cleavage-enhancing lingerie (don’t you first have to have one in order to enhance it?) . . . 57-year-old David Hasselhoff has announced his new A&E-TV reality show will document his business ventures and his role as a divorced father of 2 teenage daughters (sample dialogue: “Dad, why are you crawling around on the floor again?”) . . . And the ‘music career’ of reality TV star Heidi Montag (“The Hills”) has taken an embarrassing hit as her debut album, “Superficial”, has only sold a little over 1,000 copies in its first week, not even close to recouping the $2 million she spent making it (couldn’t happen to a nicer person).
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Canada For Haiti” (CBC/CTV/Global) – Tonight Canada’s TV networks join forces to support Haitian relief efforts. Hosted by George Stroumboulopoulos, Ben Mulroney, Cheryl Hickey.
• Country Music Association of Australia Awards (Tamworth NSW) – Saturday the flourishing country music biz Down Under salutes itself with annual awards for excellence. Local favorite Troy Cassar-Daley leads nominations with 7; Keith Urban has 4, including ‘Best Album’, ‘Male Artist’, ‘Best Single’, and ‘Best Song’.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Today Ingrid Michaelson (“Girls & Boys”).
• “Friday Night Alright” (VH1) – Tonight Green Day (“21st Century Breakdown”).
• “Hope for Haiti Now: A Global Benefit for Earthquake Relief” – Tonight this commercial-free telethon airs on more than a dozen networks. Actor George Clooney hosts the 2-hour live event from LA, with co-host Wyclef Jean in NYC, and CNN’s Anderson Cooper on the ground in Haiti. Performers expected to appear in LA, NYC, and London include Alicia Keys, Bono, Bruce Springsteen, Christina Aguilera, Coldplay, Dave Matthews, Jay-Z, Jennifer Hudson, John Legend, Justin Timberlake, Keith Urban, Kid Rock, Mary J Blige, Rihanna, Shakira, Sheryl Crow, Stevie Wonder, Sting, and Taylor Swift among others. Performances will be available on iTunes afterward, with proceeds going to the relief effort.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Heartless Bastards (“The Mountain”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight David Guetta (w/Akon-“Sexy Chick”); Gossip (“Music For Men”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight the Hot Rats (“Turn Ons”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Beach House (“Teen Dream”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight Charlotte Gainsbourg (“Irm”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Blake Lively (“Gossip Girl”); Rihanna performs.
• “Screen Actor’s Guild Awards” (TNT/TBS) – Saturday the 16th annual “SAG Awards” are handed out in LA. “Inglourious Basterds”, “Precious”, and “Up In the Air” lead movie nominations with 3 apiece; “30 Rock” leads TV nominees. 88-year-old Hollywood veteran Betty White receives the ‘Life Achievement Award’.
NET: http://www.sagawards.org
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Neil Young (“Fork In the Road”).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adam Lambert – The “American Idol” runner-up is reportedly back together with his ex-boyfriend, interior designer Drake Labry, just 3 months after they split up.
• Aerosmith – Saturday’s scheduled “An Intimate Evening With Steven Tyler” at the Capitol Center For the Arts in Concord NH has been cancelled due to ‘serious health issues’.
• Diddy – Saturday he hosts his son Justin’s ‘Prince of New York’-themed 16th birthday party at a NYC nightclub. Invitees are said to include Beyoncé, Chris Brown, Jay-Z, Lil’ Kim, and Snoop Dogg. As usual he’s found a way to turn a buck on it. It will be filmed for the MTV reality series “My Super Sweet 16”. Instead of gifts, guests will be asked to donate to Haiti relief.
• George Strait – Tonight he kicks off a 19-city North American tour in Baltimore MD with co-headliner Reba McEntire.
• Jane’s Addiction – The reunited rockers are refusing to abandon their comeback despite a series of in-band fights, and are returning to the studio to write their first new material in 7 years.
• Lady Gaga – She’s announced that all money from ticket sales and merchandise from her “Monster Ball Tour” concert Sunday in NYC will go to Haiti relief.
• Ozzy Osbourne – Sunday his autobiography “I Am Ozzy” gets a North American release. It was first published in Britain last year. Ozzy has scheduled several book signings in support of the hardcover release.
• Phoenix – Tonight they perform in Vancouver as part of the “Cultural Olympiad” series of musical events surrounding the upcoming 2010 Winter Olympics.
• Taylor Swift – She tells “Rolling Stone” magazine she hopes to turn her new Nashville home into a fairytale dream palace, complete with a fish pond as a moat around the fireplace and a human-sized birdcage observatory. Hmm, can you have too much money?
• Tim McGraw – “Southern Voice” has become his first #1 hit on “Billboard’s” country chart since “Last Dollar (Fly Away)” in April 2007.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Extraordinary Measures” ( PG Drama ): Brendan Fraser, Keri Russell, and Harrison Ford star in the true story of a couple’s efforts to find a researcher to develop a cure for their children’s rare genetic disorder. The first film since “Return Of the Jedi”(1983) in which Ford’s name isn’t listed first in the credits. Shot in Vancouver and Portland OR.
NET: http://extraordinarymeasuresthemovie.com
• “Legion” ( R-Rated Fantasy Thriller ): Paul Bettany stars as the Archangel Michael who attempts to protect a pregnant waitress in a remote diner whose unborn child is humankind’s last hope for survival. “Legion” refers to the legion of angels sent to bring on the Apocalypse. Co-stars Adrianne Palicki, Dennis Quaid.
NET: http://legionmovie.com
• “Tooth Fairy” ( PG Fantasy Comedy ): Dwayne Johnson stars as a tough minor-league hockey player whose bad deed results in an unusual sentence: He must serve one week as a real-life tooth fairy. Co-stars Ashley Judd, Julie Andrews. The script for this film has been in development since 1992. Shot in Vancouver and Winnipeg.
NET: http://www.toothfairy-movie.com
PLUG-IN FERRY:
A Japanese shipbuilding company named IHI Marine United is developing a ship that will be powered entirely by rechargeable batteries. The hi-tech vessel will be able to travel 80 km (50 mi) while carrying 800 passengers. The ‘Zero Emission Electric Propulsion Ship’ will use batteries that can be recharged at charging stations in ports. Powered entirely by lithium-ion batteries, it would operate without a diesel engine, thus cutting carbon dioxide and/or nitrogen oxide emissions to zero. The company hopes to have a commercial version available in 2015. (They’re gonna need a long cord!)
– Technabob.com
WORLD’S EASIEST JOB?
The Holiday Inn hotel chain in Britain is offering ‘human bed warmers’ to help guests get a good night’s sleep. The walking electric blankets, who are dressed in special all-in-one sleeper suits, are sent to warm the beds of guests before they get under the covers. A spokesperson says it’s ‘like having a giant hot-water bottle in your bed’. The 5-minute free bed-warming service is being tried out in London and Manchester until the end of January. (They could charge extra if the ‘bed warmer’ stayed overnight.)
– “Daily Telegraph”
HOUSE HAWKING HINTS:
Many real-estate companies are now offering a service to ‘stage your house’, which involves tidying it up and decorating it so it has more appeal to potential buyers. To sell your house quicker, experts advise that before an open house you clear kitchen counters of all appliances, take everything off the refrigerator (including the dust), cut by half any knick-knacks on display, and hide toothbrushes, soap and other hygiene products. (Ask listeners what other tips they have, ie: baking fresh bread or hiding bowls of vanilla behind furniture.)
– AP
DID YOU KNOW?
• In olden days, pirates believed that piercing ears and wearing an earring improved eyesight. This idea, scoffed at for centuries, has been re-evaluated in light of acupuncture theory. The piercing point actually does correspond to the auricular acupuncture point controlling eyesight.
– Ask.com
• Wisconsin may soon have it’s own state … microbe. State Assembly Bill 556 aims to honor bacterium Lactococcus, the little guy that helps make milk turn into cheese. What else would you expect from a state where football fans show up with foam cheese wedges on their heads?
– neatorama.com
BS CHRONOMETER 01.22.10
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [61] Steve Perry, Hanford CA, classic rock singer (“Oh Sherry”, Journey-“Open Arms”)
1952 [58] Teddy Gentry, Ft Payne AL, retired country singer (Alabama-“Reckless”, “Can’t Keep a Good Man Down”)/CMA ‘Entertainer of the Year’ 1982-84/ACM ‘Entertainer of the Year’ 1981-85/RIAA ‘Country Group of the 20th Century’/23 American Music Awards/a record 21 consecutive #1 country hits
1965 [45] Diane Lane, NYC, movie actress (“Under the Tuscan Sun”, “Unfaithful”)/Mrs Josh Brolin since 2004
1975 [35] Balthazar Getty, Tarzana CA, TV actor (‘Tommy Walker’ on “Brothers & Sisters” since 2006, “Alias” 2005-06)/great-grandson of oil billionaire Jean Paul Getty
SATURDAY –
Classic rock singer/guitarist Robin Zander (Cheap Trick) is 57; TV actress Mariska Hargitay (“Law & Order: SVU”) is 46; Rock bassist Nick Harmer (Death Cab for Cutie) is 35.
SUNDAY –
Pop singer Neil Diamond (“Home Before Dark”) is 69; Country musician Keech Rainwater (Lonestar) is 47; TV actor Ed Helms (“The Office”) is 36; TV actress Mischa Barton (ex-“The OC”) is 24.
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day”, a day to concentrate on your feline and answer the questions you think it’s asking. People often consider cats unaffectionate, not true companions. But the truth is, they only talk to humans. Studies show they rarely ‘meow’ at other cats.
• “Celebration of Life Day”, a day to honor the gift of children and grandchildren.
• “Fun at Work Day”, because experts say when we enjoy our work, we are more productive.
• “International Clash Day”, when you’re supposed to put together the gaudiest outfit you can find, in order to relieve the Winter blahs.
• “St Vincent’s Day”, honoring the patron saint of wine growers. Tradition says: ‘Sunshine on St Vincent’s Day means the year’s wine will be more plentiful than water’. Let’s drink to that!
• “Speak Up & Succeed Day”. Tomorrow is ‘You’re Fired, You Loudmouth Troublemaker Day’.
• “Unification of Ukraine Day”, celebrating Ukraine’s formation in 1919. There are over 1 million people of Ukranian origin in Canada, making them the country’s 8th-largest ethnic group and giving Canada the world’s 3rd-largest Ukrainian population after Ukraine and Russia.
SATURDAY –
• “Handwriting Day”, a day set aside to recognize ‘graphology’ (handwriting analysis) and to encourage more legible handwriting.
• “Measure Your Feet Day”, a good excuse to conduct a poll to find the listener with the largest.
• “Pie Day”, celebrating the pie as an ‘art form’. Isn’t it better used as a weapon?
• “Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day”, when snowplow drivers are encouraged to take out as many mailboxes as possible. High score wins! Hey, any excuse to have fewer bills delivered.
• “Spieling Day”, honoring that great pastime … blathering. Celebrants are encouraged to give long-winded speeches about meaningless subjects to family & co-workers. Gee, thanks.
SUNDAY –
• “Beer Can Appreciation Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1st canned beer, marketed by Kruegar Brewing of Richmond VA on this day 75 years ago in 1935. Hmm, what should we do to celebrate? Admire the bottom of a can … from the inside?
• “Compliment Day”, a day to bolster someone else’s self-esteem. Go ahead, tell someone they’re not looking as fat and ugly as usual.
• “Direct Deposit Week”, which either has to do with having your pay directly deposited into your bank account … or making babies the ‘old fashioned way’.
• “Peanut Butter Day”, unless someone in the house is at risk of anaphylactic shock from an allergy. Originally called ‘nutmeal’, peanut butter has only been around for about 120 years but it’s a staple in 85% of homes and we eat about 3 lbs per person per year. If you have arachibutyrophobia, you’re afraid of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth!
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008 [02] Australian actor Heath Ledger dies in NYC of pharmaceutical overdose at age 29 (leads to an Oscar for “The Dark Knight”)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1992 [18] Canada’s 1st female astronaut (Roberta Bondar lifts off in space shuttle ‘Discovery’ as Canada’s 2nd astronaut)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2006 [04] LA Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant scores 81 points against the Toronto Raptors at Staples Center, 2nd-most points in a single NBA game in history behind Wilt Chamberlain’s 100 in 1962
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
[Mon] Better Business Communication Day
[Tues] Michael Jackson’s “This Is It” DVD Release
[Tues] Peanut Brittle Day
[Wed] Thomas Crapper Day
[Wed] Vietnam Peace Day
This Week Is … Women in Blue Jeans Week
This Month Is … Volunteer Blood Donor Month
BULL’S BITS
Wii FIT GAMES WE’D LIKE TO SEE:
Nintendo has only scratched the surface for games incorporating the balance board and balance board technology. What about …
• ‘Wii Sexually Fit With Wii Fit Mattress Pad Controller’ – Thrust and writhe to earn Wii Sexually Fit bonus points. Play solo or with up to 3 friends.
• ‘Wii Fit: Mario’ – Comes with box that hangs from the ceiling. Bump your head on the box to get Wii coins which you can use to upgrade your avatar.
• ‘Wii Sit Fit Chair Pad’ – The ultimate controller for people too lazy to stand up. Responds to slight movements and grunts using minimal effort.
• ‘Wii Conniption Fit’ – Scream and stomp your feet until your Mii turns blue. Not that much fun, but helps release stress.
• ‘Wii Lit Fit’ – Comes with breathalyser to make sure you’re good and drunk before attempting balance games. Great for parties and for testing who’s sober enough to drive home.
– Adapted from BBSpot.com
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the absolute worst movie of all-time? (“Spice World The Movie” tops a recent poll, followed by “Grease 2”. Also making the list: “Waterworld”, “Batman & Robin” and “Gigli”.)
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Our lack of cooperation is mutual.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: By the time a kid is 6, he/she may have had as many as 36 of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Vaccinations. (“Dateline NBC”)
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
When talking nonsense try not to be serious.
