Tuesday, January 23, 2024 – Edition: #7640

Witty? Informative? Provocative? Sounds Like Sheet!

 

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
[***UPDATE***] ★ Norman Jewison, acclaimed director of “In the Heat of the Night”, “Fiddler on the Roof”, and “Moonstruck”, died on Saturday at the age of 97. Canadian by birth, Jewison’s film career spanned more than 4 decades. He was nominated for 7 Oscars, including 3 for Best Director and 4 for Best Picture. His films received a total of 46 nominations and 12 Academy Awards. In 1999, Jewison was honored with the prestigious Irving Thalberg Award at the Academy Awards.
-Deadline
★ It’s time for the annual Golden Raspberry Awards. The Razzies, which aims to (dis)honor the worst in film over the past year, has announced nominations for its 44th edition. The most-nominated film is “Expend4bles,” the 4th entry in the action-packed, but critically underwhelming, “The Expendables” franchise. It received 7 nominations. Tied for second place with 5 noms are “The Exorcist: Believer,” and “Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey,” a blood-soaked take on everyone’s favorite honey-loving bear. Two superhero movies, DC’s “Shazam! Fury of the Gods” and Marvel’s “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania,” received 4 nominations. The (ahem) winners are expected to be announced March 9.
-Variety
★ Elle King’s tribute to Dolly Parton didn’t hit the right note with fans. The ‘Ex’s & Oh’s’ was criticized following her Friday performance at Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry, where she was part of a concert held in honor of the country music star’s 78th birthday. The Opry has issued an apology to fans—writing on X: “we deeply regret and apologize for the language that was used during (the) second Opry performance.” During the event, King sang a rendition of Parton’s 2001 hit ‘Marry Me’.” But as seen in a video on TikTok, she forgot the words and started swearing on stage, and cautioned the audience: “Don’t tell Dolly.”
-E!
★ Jamie Dornan found himself in hospital after suffering heart attack symptoms caused by toxic caterpillars during a recent trip to Portugal. The “Fifty Shades of Grey” actor’s health scare was revealed by his pal Gordon Smart, who was also rushed to hospital after experiencing the same symptoms at a golfing resort last year. Recalling their nightmare getaway on “The Good, the Bad and the Unexpected” podcast, Smart said they initially thought their health woes were the result of too many drinks the night before. To their surprise, they were told that their symptoms were caused by a run-in with processionary caterpillars, which are known to be toxic.
-PageSix
★ One of Disney’s signature comedies, “Wizards of Waverly Place”, is getting a sequel. Disney has ordered a pilot for the follow-up, which will be executive produced by original stars Selena Gomez and her small screen sibling David Henrie. Gomez will guest star in the pilot for Disney Channel as ‘Alex Russo’, the character that helped launch her career. David Henrie will reprise reprising the role of ‘Justin Russo’ as a series regular.
-Deadline
★ Sarah Jessica Parker’s character on “Sex and the City”, ‘Carrie Bradshaw’, often left us wondering how she could afford a closet full of designer duds on a writer’s salary. One item that did fit a modest budget, though, has just skyrocketed in value, selling at auction for a whopping 10,000 times its original price. The white tiered tutu worn in the opening segment of the show, which was originally purchased from a $5 bin in Manhattan’s garment district, received a winning bid of $52,000, according to Julien’s. It’s one of 5 used for the series opening credits. Parker herself has one of them in her own collection.
-Messenger

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC/Global): Jason Momoa, Lisa Ann Walter, Alkaline Trio
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kevin James, Sarah Sherman, Eladio Carrión
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): André 3000, Jelani Cobb
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Sarah Paulson, Punkie Johnson, Brad Meltzer
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Heather Gay, Joel Kim Booster
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Common, Jamie Oliver
• “The Talk” (CBS): Tracee Ellis Ross
• “Live With Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Ken Jeong, Jennifer Nettles
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Common, Alaqua Cox
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Barry Manilow, Dr. Aliza Pressman
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Anthony Anderson and Doris Bowman
• “Celebrity Jeopardy!” (ABC): Season 2 finale. Celebs Mo Rocca, Lisa Ann Walter and Katie Nolan
• “NCIS: Sydney” (CBS): Season 1 finale. When JD’s son is kidnapped by an assassin in exchange for a criminal in NCIS custody, the team tries to get his son back safely without trading in the criminal.
• “Only Murders in the Building” (ABC): Season 1 finale. The trio races toward a resolution while their own lives are put in danger.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Justin Timberlake – After spending last week teasing a new album, he returned to the stage Friday with a small hometown gig in Memphis, and debuted a new song called ‘Selfish’. On TikTok, he shared a snippet of the video for the song, which is believed to be the first single from the upcoming album “Everything I Thought It Was”. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/mrxtmeaw
• Lil Nas X – In a since-deleted teaser for his upcoming HBO documentary, “Lil Nas X: Long Live Montero,” he is seen receiving a surprise backstage visit from Madonna during the “Long Live Montero Tour.” When she exclaims to him: “You better put on a show for me”, Nas jokingly replies: “Now I’m nervous. I’m not performing anymore, I’m going home.”
• Michael Jackson – 9-year-old actor Juliano Krue Valdi has been cast as the younger Michael in the upcoming biopic. The film, from director Antoine Fuqua, will have Valdi playing Jackson “as he and his brothers rise to fame as the Jackson 5”. Krue has nearly 150,000 followers on Instagram and is known for his Jackson-inspired dance moves and costumes. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/3v9d5zxd
• Foo Fighters – were joined onstage by Jack Black in Aukland, New Zealand on Saturday for a rendition of the saucy AC/DC song ‘Big Balls’. As usual, the band called on drum tech Fiona to sing lead, while Black, who is currently in New Zealand filming the “Minecraft” movie, did Jack Black-y things onstage. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/bddebrhb
• Alice in Chains – is teasing what could be an anniversary release. On January 25, 1994, 30 years ago, the group dropped “Jar of Flies”. It was the first EP to debut at the top of the Billboard 200 album chart, and won 2 Grammys. Expect an announcement Thursday. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/bvfmun35
• Eric Church and Morgan Wallen — are teasing an upcoming collab with outdoors magazine Field & Stream. Both posted to Instagram a video featuring Church narrating a unifying message to Americans. It also shows the pair fishing on a lake. Details will be revealed this Thursday. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/7hekdnhs
• Tim McGraw – His 2004 smash ‘Live Like You Were Dying’ tops the “Top 40 Most-Played Country Songs of the Past 50 years” list compiled by Country Aircheck. The rest of the top-5, in order: ‘I Love This Bar’-Toby Keith, ‘Amazed’-Lonestar, ‘The Good Stuff’-Kenny Chesney, and ‘It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere’-Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffett.
• Blake Shelton and Brad Paisley – are 2 of the artists who will gather at Belmont University’s Fisher Center for the Performing Arts in Nashville to film the TV special “CMT Giants: Alabama”. Also set to perform Alabama’s hits: Steve Wariner, Jamey Johnson, Jadon Aldean, Little Big Town, Old Dominion, Pam Tillis and Lorrie Morgan, and Riley Green and Sam Hunt. It will air later this year.

SHOOTING THE BULL

LOVE BUGS:
February 14 is coming, and if you feel like getting your ‘special someone’ a gift that’s a little different, zoos in New York and Texas are here for you. They’re offering the chance to buy naming rights for cockroaches. The Bronx Zoo says you can pay to have a Madagascar hissing cockroach named after your Valentine, with other gift packages available, including roach socks, stuffed roaches and a “virtual roach encounter”. But the San Antonio Zoo is taking a different approach. Its “Cry Me a Cockroach” fundraiser lets jilted patrons to pay to have a roach, rat or vegetable named for their ex-lover — before it is fed to another zoo animal. The zoo’s website says: “San Antonio Zoo will help squash your past, a true heartbreak healer, by feeding your selection to an animal resident.” The zoo is also offering a candle bearing the scent of hippo poo as a Valentine’s gift, because apparently poop “is the cologne of the hippo world and is used to impress potential mates.” LINK: https://sazoo.org/cry-me-a-cockroach/
(Pro tip: Poo may very well be the cologne of the hippo world, but cologne is the cologne of the people world!)
(On the other hand, it’s only Jan. 23, which means you still have time to get your sweetheart something for Valentines Day that DOESN’T involve cockroaches…or poop!)
-UPI

NEW DEVELOPMENTS:
⇒ Hyundai is fulfilling the dreams of every teenager who never quite learned how to parallel park in driving school. The carmaker has unveiled a car that can turn its wheels 90 degrees. Selecting a spot, drivers of the new Hyundai Mobion simply press a button, and an automated function sees that the electric 4-door “crab walk” into the spot. How? Rather than having one central electric motor, engineers created with one small individual motor for each wheel. This design also allowed them to incorporate suspension, braking, and turning hardware into each wheel. As a result, the Mobion can also drive diagonally. It can turn on a dime 180°, with a turning circle of zero centimeters beyond the front and back bumpers. (I can’t see any problems with a car that can drive diagonally, can you?)
⇒ Last week, Kraft announced it will launch 3 new Kraft Singles flavors for the first time in nearly a decade: Jalapeño, Garlic & Herb and Caramelized Onion. The company said “The tantalizing new flavors will elevate any ordinary sandwich into irresistible culinary delights.” The last time Kraft Singles launched new flavors was when Sharp Cheddar and Pepper Jack slices were introduced. The new flavors will be available by the end of the month. (Excellent. My dog will love having new flavors of “plastic cheese pill wraps”!)
-GoodNewsNetwork, People

KENTUCKY FRIED COMMUNICATION:
A city in Kentucky has come up with a far-out campaign to promote tourism. The Lexington Convention and Visitors Bureau used an infrared laser to beam a message into space – inviting extraterrestrial travelers to visit. The agency worked with scientists and scholars to beam the message toward potentially habitable planets in the TRAPPIST-1 solar system. The message begins: “The first thing you’ll notice as you descend through Earth’s atmosphere above Central Kentucky is the lush green countryside that surrounds Lexington’s vibrant city center. That’s our famous bluegrass.” It goes on to describe gentle rolling hills, horse farms and bourbon before suggesting places to stay and eat and shop. It also includes the chemical components for bourbon, a recording of Lexington blues musician Tee Dee Young, and the outlines of two horses and a human. But since TRAPPIST-1 is 40 light-years away, it’ll take at least 80 years for the aliens to RSVP. In the meantime, earthly travelers are welcome to visit. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/mrymyv49
(Jim-Beam me up?)
(It’s funny – We’ve also had co-workers here who take about 80 years to get anything done!)
-AP, Insider

WORLD’S TOP CITY DESTINATIONS:
Paris has once again been named the world’s most attractive city destination, according to a report by global market research company Euromonitor International. It looked at leading cities from around the world and ranked them on criteria including tourism, sustainability, economic performance and health and safety. Here are the top 10…
1. Paris, France
2. Dubai, United Arab Emirates
3. Madrid, Spain
4. Tokyo, Japan
5. Amsterdam, the Netherlands
6. Berlin, Germany
7. Rome, Italy
8. New York, United States
9. Barcelona, Spain
10. London, United Kingdom
(If money and travel time were of no concern, what would be YOUR #1 city destination?)
-CNN

MYTHS ABOUT THE COLD:
✗ You Lose Most of Your Heat from Your Head:  Where your body loses heat is closely related to surface area, and the head has only about 9% of the body’s surface area. On the other hand, if the rest of you is all covered up and your head isn’t, then you DO lose most of your heat from your head… (I can confirm that you lose most of your HAIR from your head, however…)
✗ To Warm Up, Sip Coffee or Brandy:  Caffeine and alcohol actually hinder the body’s ability to produce heat, and can cause your core temperature to drop. Instead, drink warm water, or something with sugar. (Can I have brandy if I put sugar in it?)
✗ If You Go Out in the Cold, You’ll Catch a Cold:  You catch cold from a virus, not from cold temperatures. (Now stop listening to old wives!)
✗ Rub Your Fingers or Toes to Warm Them:  Wiggle them instead. If exposed skin (including that of your face and ears) becomes cold, cover it with a warm hand until it feels better. Rubbing can cause tissue damage.
✗ Try to Resist Shivering:  Shivering means that your body is trying to warm up, and that’s good. In fact, shivering can triple your body’s heat production.
✗ If I’m Feeling Cold, You Must Be Feeling It Too:  Age, gender, fitness level and acclimatization all determine when you “feel” cold. And it’s been proven that women generally feel cold before men do, possibly because they have less heat-generating ability. (Just ask me about my first wife!)
(Cold, hard facts…that aren’t facts!!)
-OldFarmersAlmanac, first published in BS in 2018

DID YOU KNOW?
A contractor working on a remodeling job in Seattle made a surprising discovery inside the wall: a hand grenade. Vadim Kharkhavyy, owner of Polar Bear Construction, said he tore out the tub in the 3rd-floor bathroom of the home, revealing a hidden compartment in the wall and what appeared to be a grenade. Although his first thought was to “get out of there”, he soon returned and captured video, which he posted to his company’s TikTok account. The Seattle Police Department’s bomb squad confirmed the object was a grenade, but it was inert. Kharkavyy said they told him that sometimes WWII veterans came home with “souvenirs”, which they tended to store away, and forget about. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/5evpzev2
-UPI

BS CHRONOMETER 01.23.24

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Pie Day”, celebrating the pie as an “art form”. There are said to be 231 varieties of apple pie alone. (Not to be confused with the other “Pie Day”, on Dec. 1, or with “Pi Day”, celebrated March 14…because you always have room for more pie!)
• “Speak Up and Succeed Day”, to celebrate the importance of being able to speak publicly. Today is a day “to face your fear of public speaking” or to use the day to make yourself better at it. (I’ve at least got the part down about imagining other people naked!)
• “Measure Your Feet Day”, to draw attention to the importance of wearing correctly fitted shoes. (***a good day to find the listener with the largest, and smallest feet***)
• “Handwriting Day”, a day to recognize ‘graphology’ (handwriting analysis) and to encourage more legible handwriting. (I don’t have bad handwriting…I prefer to refer to it as “my own font”)
• “Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day”, when snowplow drivers are encouraged to take out as many mailboxes as possible. High score wins! Hey, any excuse to have fewer bills delivered. (In my neighborhood, they don’t need any extra encouragement!)
• “Sticky Toffee Pudding Day”, celebrating one of the most delicious desserts originating from the UK. This sweet, rich, and comforting dessert consists of a moist sponge cake, traditionally made with finely chopped dates, covered in a toffee sauce and often served with a vanilla custard or ice cream. (Caution: There may be some sugar involved in this…and butter!)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Peanut Butter Day
[Wed] Belly Laugh Day
[Thurs] Irish Coffee Day
[Fri] Fun at Work Day
This Week is…Snowmobile Safety Week
This Month is…Slow Cooking Month

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [74] Richard Dean Anderson, Minneapolis MN, TV actor (“MacGyver” 1985-1992, “Stargate” 1997-2007)

1951 [73] Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, Denison TX, retired diplomat, fighter pilot and airline pilot (US Airways Captain lauded as a hero for safely landing a passenger jet on the Hudson River after both engines were disabled by a bird strike, inspiring the 2016 Tom Hanks film “Sully”)

1953 [71] Robin Zander, Beloit WI, rock singer (Cheap Trick-‘I Want You to Want Me’, ‘Dream Police’)

1964 [60] Mariska Hargitay, Santa Monica CA, TV actress/producer (“Chicago PD” 2014-16, “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” since 1999), “Law & Order: Organized Crime” since 2021/daughter of Jayne Mansfield

1974 [50] Tiffani Thiessen, Long Beach CA, TV actress (“Saved by the Bell” 1989-1994, 2020-21, “Beverly Hills 90210” 1994-2000, host of “Deliciousness” since 2020)

1975 [49] Nick Harmer, Landstuhl Germany, rock bassist (Death Cab For Cutie-‘I Will Possess Your Heart’, ‘You are a Tourist’)

ON THIS DATE . . .
2020 [04] China locks down the city of Wuhan and its 11 million people, in an effort to control COVID-19 with a then-official death toll of 17, and over 500 people ill

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1998 [26] The Spice Girls’ movie “Spice World” hits theaters in North America

2005 [19] Former “Tonight Show” host Johnny Carson dies at age 79

2021 [03] Larry King, long-time host of “Larry King Live”, dies at 87

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1986 [38] The first inductees into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame include Elvis Presley, Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly, Little Richard, Ray Charles, James Brown, Jerry Lee Lewis, and The Everly Brothers

2014 [10] 19-year-old Justin Bieber is arrested for street-racing his yellow Lamborghini in Miami Beach FL, and is also charged with resisting arrest and having an expired driver’s licence

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1957 [67] Wham-O Company produces the first Frisbee disc (called the “Pluto Platter” until 1958)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2019 [05] Hedge fund billionaire Ken Griffin buys the most expensive home ever sold in the US, paying $238 million for a New York penthouse overlooking Central Park

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Your brain uses about 20% of your oxygen and caloric intake.
✓ The muscles that control your eyes contract about 100,000 times a day.
✓ There are more than 200 languages that were invented just for television or movies.
✓ The founder of Match.com lost his girlfriend to a man she met on the internet.
✓ Not only is a dog’s sense of smell 40 times more powerful than a person’s, they are also able to breathe and smell simultaneously, unlike humans.
✓ Together, Wayne and Brent Gretzky hold the NHL record for most combined points by 2 brothers: 2,857 points for Wayne – 4 for Brent.
-Nova, UberFacts

Best of BS . . .
BS THINGS YOUR KID WILL SURELY BLURT OUT NEXT TIME YOU HAVE COMPANY:
• “Mommy, how long are they staying?”
• “I better warn you people. My dad only paid me to be good for an hour.”
• “Hey, didn’t she used to be skinnier?”
• “My dad wears ‘Spider-Man’ underwear.”
• “That isn’t what you said about your boss last night.”
• Your ‘Ouch-I-hit-my-thumb-with-the-hammer’ word.
• “Daaaddddddyyyyyy! I pooooooopppiiiieeed!”
-First published in BS in 2001

BS WORST PICKUP LINES:
• Hi. Can I buy you a car?
• Say, didn’t we go to different schools together?
• That dress would look great on my bedroom floor.
• What do you like for breakfast?
• I’m new in town. Can you give me directions to your apartment?
• Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway!
• Pez?
• Can I buy you a drink — or do you just want the money?
• I’m not the type of person to have sex without mutual consent. By the way, you have my consent.
• NOW will you dance with me, or should I go screw myself again?
-Jokes2Go, first published in BS in 2020

BS WEB GOODIE:
Now you know:  http://tinyurl.com/38brc7up

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The older I get, the more I realize that Mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone…

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s that thing your kid did that embarrassed you so badly, you still cringe today?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  A survey found the woman has 9 of THESE. What are they?
Answer:  Bottles of perfume

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
I’d rather regret the risks that didn’t work out than the chances I didn’t take at all.