Wednesday, January 23, 2019 – Edition: #6378

Witty? Amusing? Provocative? Sounds Like Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “Roma” and “The Favourite” are tied for the most nominations for next month’s Oscars, with each capturing 10 nods.  Eight films were nominated for best picture — “Black Panther,” ”BlacKkKlansman”, ”Bohemian Rhapsody”, ”The Favourite”, ”Green Book”, ”Roma”, ”A Star Is Born” and ”Vice”.  Best actor nominees are: Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Rami Malek, Viggo Mortensen and Willem Dafoe.  The best actress nominees are: Yalitza Aparicio, Glenn Close, Olivia Colman, Lady Gaga and Melissa McCarthy.
-CP
★ It looks like it will be a summer wedding for Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger, and it promises to be an over-the-top affair. A source says that “It will not be a long engagement,” adding that wedding planning has already begun, and “There will be no expense spared.” Katherine’s parents, Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger, apparently are already treating Pratt like family and can’t wait to see it become official.
-MSN
★ Sarah Jessica Parker is making a ”brief reappearance” as Carrie Bradshaw. Parker is teasing fans with a short video proclaiming the return of her iconic “Sex and the City” character – who she last played in a second movie in 2010 – but she didn’t offer many details. She captioned her Instagram post: ”My old friend. She is making a brief reappearance. Partnering with a great brand and supporting a cause we all care about. More to come… #PourItForward”  It appears this could be connected to Stella Artois and Water.org’s “Pour It Forward” initiative, which helps provide clean drinking water to developing countries.
-ContactMusic
★ Ryan Reynolds canceled surgery on his arm to fly to China and charm “Deadpool” fans in Beijing on Sunday ahead of the franchise’s unexpected China theatrical debut. He had injured his left arm shooting the film and was scheduled to have surgery in New York on Sunday morning, but skipped the appointment. Just last week, Fox suddenly announced that a re-cut, PG-13 “Deadpool 2” would hit Chinese theaters starting this Friday – the first time the notoriously blood-splattered and foul-mouthed series has passed the country’s strict censorship standards. Reynolds said: “This was more important. I was not going to miss coming to China.”
-PageSix
★ Chris Brown and two members of his team have been arrested by French police after a woman claimed she was raped by the singer in a hotel. Within 2 days he must either be released or appear in court, where a prosecutor can ask the judge to either keep Brown in custody pending trial or let him go free with “obligations.” If Brown is released with obligations, he could be required to surrender his passport to French authorities and would remain in Paris pending trial, which typically takes a year. [***UPDATE***] Brown will not face charges for now.  The Paris prosecutor’s office says it is still investigating.
-TMZ

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Dr. Phil McGraw, Flipp Dinero
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Molly Shannon, Robert Irwin, Offset
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global):Matthew McConaughey, Better Oblivion Community Center
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Anne Hathaway, Sen. Sherrod Brown, Michaela Coel, Venzella Joy
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Sonequa Martin-Green, Pete Holmes, Rebecca Ferguson, Ava Max
• “Conan” (TBS): Kristen Bell, William Jackson Harper, Jameela Jamil, D’Arcy Carden, Manny Jacinto
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Sarah Paulson, Billy Eichner
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Patrick Stewart, David Kellman & Robert Shafran
• “The Talk” (CBS): Michael Bolton
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Connie Britton, Shinedown, Camila Alves
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Sarah Paulson, Caroline Quentin, Piers Taylor, Dean Lewis
• “Big Brother: Celebrity Edition” (CBS): Episode 3. Celebrities live together in a house; and each week one or more of them will be voted out.
• “The Masked Singer” (FOX): Rabbit, Alien, Raven, Poodle and Bee hit the stage for their second performances of the season.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lady Gaga — kicked off the first of nine “Jazz & Piano” engagements of her Las Vegas residency at Park MGM’s Park Theater on Sunday night with a special guest appearance by Tony Bennett.  The pair dueted on ‘Lady is a Tramp’ and ‘Cheek to Cheek’
• Mac Miller – His family are ”really hopeful” that the late rapper will win a Grammy Award next month. He was posthumously nominated for Rap Album of the Year for his last album “Swimming” – which was his first ever Grammy nod.
• Foreigner – has launched a contest to find the ultimate “Juke Box Hero”.  They are searching for the fan who, like the character in the song, is the ultimate fan who may have even received divine inspiration from that “one guitar”. The winner will join Foreigner in Toronto for the world premiere of “Juke Box Hero – The Musical” next month.  Enter here:  jukeboxheromusical.com/jbh/
• Jon Bon Jovi — A restaurant he owns in New Jersey provided free meals to local government workers and their families affected by the federal government shutdown on Monday. JBJ Soul Kitchen opened in 2011, and became famous for allowing customers to pay by donation or volunteer to pay for their meals.
• Sinead O’Connor – Her son has been found “safe and well” after going missing for three days.  She appealed for help online to find 14-year-old Shane O’Connor, who went missing in Dublin on Friday night.
• Jermaine Jackson — claims his ex-wife has been collecting his music royalties without his knowledge for over a year. He also accuses Halima Rashid of transferring $250k of their money to a company without permission, and selling off a few of their cars.
• Tim McGraw — opened a new club in Nashville on Friday.  But unlike his peers, his is for pumping iron, not pounding booze. He has partnered with Snap Fitness to design and launch a new line of boutique gyms called Trumav Fitness.  McGraw says that physical fitness “can help you lead your best life.  Working out becomes a habit when it’s an easy part of your every day.”
• Jake Owen – has landed his first acting gig.  He has a part in the upcoming Casey Affleck/Dakota Johnson film “The Best Friend”.  Filming begins next month.

FASHION VICTIM:
Why let the colder weather keep you from wearing those trendy ankle-baring pants?  Apparently, some forward-thinking and cozy fashionistas are walking around in the next big thing:  Ankle scarves.  Yup. It’s a thing now. The trend was first reported by Milan-based publication “Lercio”.  And while it seems there aren’t scarves specifically designed for ankles yet, it seems some (shameless) people are keeping their ankles warm by covering them with kids’ scarves stylishly tied just above their deck-style shoes.
(Or, you know, they could wear socks!)
***CAUTION: SNOT***(And those would be the only kids’ scarves in town that aren’t covered in snot!)
(It’s the latest fashion accessory that can’t believe someone would actually wear, that after you see them a few times, you’ll go out and buy 3 pairs!)
-CountryLiving

EVEN SMARTER TV:
As you know, the price of big-screen TVs has plummeted in recent years.  That’s a good thing.  But the reason why might be a little alarming.  It seems that while you are watching your television, it might be watching YOU.  Many ‘smart’ TVs these days sets are effectively spying on their owners by taking note of which shows you watch, which ads you see, and even where you are.  That data is transmitted from your set on to other companies, for which the television manufacturer is paid.  That goes a long way toward answering the question your electronics shop asks in their ads: “How can we sell them for so little?”  Many smart TV companies only seek to cover their costs with the retail price, and make their profit off the kickbacks they get from selling information on your viewing habits.
(As long as that’s ALL the info they get about what goes on in my living room…)
(I’m pretty sure those companies already have all that info from my phone…and from Alexa…)
(I hope those companies are really happy now that they know what my cat watches all day while I’m at work…)
-YahooFinance

HEALTH BENEFITS TO WALKING IN WINTER:
✓ Sunlight for strong bones:  Vitamin D is an important part of keeping bones strong, and not getting outside means decreased production in our bodies.  Sun exposure triggers vitamin D production in the skin, and bones need vitamin D to make the body absorb bone-strengthening calcium properly.  (But I haven’t even SEEN the sun since October…)
✓ Boost your mood: Winter doldrums are all too common when the days are shorter, the weather is colder and we feel compelled to stay inside.  Exercise helps counter this mild depression, releasing endorphins that pick up your mood.  (I’m not sure a minus 30-degree windchill and a swollen knee from a slip on the ice is going to be really good for my mood…)
✓ Burn extra calories:  There are a couple ways that walking in winter can help you burn extra calories and stay fit.  Being cold helps you burn more calories as the body has to work harder to maintain your core temperature.  Plus, invigorating cold air can clear your mind and reduce stress, which can be helpful for weight loss.  And trudging through snow or walking into the wind takes more energy.  (I also burn extra calories shoveling snow…about 13 times a week!)
(The other benefit to walking in winter…when I do, my dog doesn’t poop inside!)
(I walk everywhere I go in winter…because my car won’t start…)
-MNN, first published ‘BS’ in 2018

WRITING IN CURSIVE:
Highlights from the 1785 book, “A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue” by Francis Grose . . .
➢ Mutton-headed: stupid
➢ Bum fodder: toilet paper
➢ Double jugg: a man’s bottom
➢ Kettle drums: a woman’s breasts
➢ Fart catcher: a valet or footman
➢ To cascade: to vomit
➢ Admiral of the narrow seas: “One who from drunkenness vomits into the lap of the person sitting opposite him”
(And teenagers used the same words, but dropped all the vowels…)
-Curiosity

DID YOU KNOW?
Japanese researchers found that those who ate ice cream for breakfast had better reaction times and were able to process information more effectively than those who didn’t. A mental boost was also observed among those who drank a glass of cold water, though less so.
(We propose “ice cream-coffee floats” as the new morning drink!)
-Delish

BS CHRONOMETER 01.23.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [69] Richard Dean Anderson, Minneapolis MN, TV actor (“MacGyver” 1985-1992, “Stargate” 1997-2007)

1951 [68] Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, Denison TX, pilot (U.S. Airways pilot lauded as a hero for safely landing a passenger jet on the Hudson River after both engines were disabled by a bird strike, inspiring the 2016 movie ‘Sully’)

1953 [66] Robin Zander, Beloit WI, rock singer (Cheap Trick-‘I Want You to Want Me’, ‘Dream Police’)

1964 [55] Mariska Hargitay, Santa Monica CA, TV actress/producer (“Chicago PD” 2014-16, “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” since 1999)

1974 [45] Tiffani Thiessen, Long Beach CA, TV actress (“Saved by the Bell” 1989-1994, “Beverly Hills 90210” 1994-2000)

1975 [44] Nick Harmer, Landstuhl, Germany, rock bassist (Death Cab For Cutie-‘I Will Possess Your Heart’, ‘You are a Tourist’)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Handwriting Day”, a day to recognize ‘graphology’ (handwriting analysis) and to encourage more legible handwriting. (I don’t have bad handwriting…I prefer to refer to it as “my own font”)

• “Measure Your Feet Day”, to draw attention to the importance of wearing correctly fitted shoes.  (***a day to find the listener with the largest, and smallest feet***)

• “Pie Day”, celebrating the pie as an ‘art form’.  There are said to be 231 varieties of apple pie alone.  (Not to be confused with ‘Pi Day’, celebrated March 14)

• “Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day”, when snowplow drivers are encouraged to take out as many mailboxes as possible. High score wins! Hey, any excuse to have fewer bills delivered. (In my neighborhood, they don’t need any extra encouragement!)

• “Library Shelfie Day”, some books collectors arrange them so their spines can be admired.  Others have a system of organization that results in an alternative art form.  However they are organized on the shelf, today you should take a “shelfie” and share it on social media.  (Do you just screen-shot your list if you have a Kindle?)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Beer Can Appreciation Day
[Thurs] Belly Laugh Day
[Fri] Macintosh Computer Day
[Fri] Robbie Burns Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1998 [20] The Spice Girls’ movie “Spice World” hits theaters in North America.

2000 [18] Heart’s Nancy Wilson & her writer/filmmaker husband Cameron Crowe become parents of their first and only children, twins named William & Curtis

2005 [14] Former “The Tonight Show” host Johnny Carson dies at age 79

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2010 [09] Powered by the single “TiK ToK”, Kesha’s debut album “Animal” hits #1

2014 [05] 19-year-old Justin Bieber is arrested for street-racing his yellow Lamborghini in Miami Beach FL, and is also charged with resisting arrest and having an expired driving licence

2015 [04] Pop singer Mandy Moore & alt-rocker Ryan Adams announce their split after nearly 6 years of marriage

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2010 [09] Britain’s Culture Ministry declares The Beatles’ Abbey Road Studios an historic site

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2017 [02] The most expensive house in the US (listed at $250 million) goes on the market in Bel Air, Los Angeles (look out, there is a current listing for a lot known as “The Mountain of Beverly Hills” for a tidy $1 BILLION…build your own house!)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Neil Armstrong had to clear customs and immigration after returning from the moon.
✓ Charlie Chaplin once lost a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest.
✓ The founder of Match.com lost his girlfriend to a man she met on the internet.
✓ If your car was able to drive vertically, it would reach outer space in an hour.
✓ From the time it was discovered to the time it was demoted from planet status, Pluto did not complete a single trip around the sun.
✓ Saudi Arabia imports camels from Australia.
-Demilked

BS DISNEY COUNTRY SONGS:
• Boot Scootin’ Goofy
• I’ve Got Friends in Heigh Ho Places
• Don’t it Make My Brown Eyes Baloo
• Snow White & the Seven Spanish Angels
• Stand By Your Mulan
• Achy Breaky Queen of Hearts
• Red Han Solo Cup
• You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Loose Heel
• Eeyore Still the One
• A Boy Named Pooh
• Wasted Away Again In Cruella DeVille
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

Best of BS . . .
THINGS YOUR KID WILL SURELY BLURT OUT NEXT TIME YOU HAVE COMPANY:
• “Mommy, how long are they staying?”
• “I better warn you people. My dad only paid me to be good for an hour.”
• “Hey, didn’t she used to be skinnier?”
• “My dad wears ‘Spider-Man’ underwear.”
• “That isn’t what you said about your boss last night.”
• Your ‘Ouch-I-hit-my-thumb-with-the-hammer’ word.
• “Daaaddddddyyyyyy! I pooooooopppiiiieeed!”
– First published in “BS” 2001

BS PHONE STARTER:
It’s award season.  If you were to find yourself onstage accepting an award, what would it be for?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m not the brightest tool in the shed…

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  For the average person, it takes 5 tries to perfect one of THESE.  What?
Answer:  A selfie.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Any fool can know. The point is to understand.