The Bull Sheet

January 25, 2017

Wednesday, January 25, 2017 – Edition: #5897

You Really Know Your Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Jay Z has sold a 33% stake in his streaming site Tidal to telecom company Sprint for a reported $200 million. That would mean he’s made an impressive return on the initial $56 million he invested in the company when he purchased it from Aspiro just 2 years ago. When the new Tidal was first unveiled, it was criticized by a number of artists including Noel Gallagher, Killers’ frontman Brandon Flowers, and Mumford & Sons. But slowly and surely, Jay has managed to enhance the company’s reputation and, obviously, its value.
– Bang Showbiz
★ Actor-director Mel Gibson has become a father for the 9th time … at age 61. He and his latest girlfriend Rosalind Ross (26), have welcomed their 1st child together, a baby boy named ‘Lars Gerard Gibson’. The babe is the 1st child for Ross; while Gibson’s oldest is 36. An inside source confirms the family is back home and everybody is healthy and happy. Gibson & Ross have been dating for 2 years and announced they were expecting last September.
– “People”
★ Brad Pitt has apparently returned to his family home. Unfortunately, nobody else in the family is there. Pitt left the Los Feliz estate for a nearby rental apartment in Los Angeles when he split from Angelina Jolie, while she vacated the property with their children to live in a mansion in Hidden Hills. But now the 53-year-old is back and said to be remodeling the estate to be kid-friendly in order to boost his bid for joint equal custody of his children. So far, 2 giant trampolines have been installed, as well as a playground, skate-park, and playhouse. Brad & Angelina recently reached an agreement to resolve their divorce and custody dispute in private.
– “Grazia”
★ “Orange Is the New Black” star Laura Prepon (‘Alex Vause’) is pregnant with her 1st child via actor-fiancé Ben Foster (“Hell or High Water”). Foster proposed in October last year but their respective work commitments are making it difficult to set a wedding date. Foster has 2 films lined up to shoot. Prepon has previously stated she wants a ”really small wedding”, however, the “Orange Is the New Black” cast alone is circa 50 people. Maybe don’t invite ‘Crazy Eyes’? She’d just freak out anyway.
– ContactMusic.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Cardinal” (CTV) – Debut of a 6-episode ‘special event’ mini-series that stars Billy Campbell and Karine Vanasse as police detectives in a snowy northern Canadian town where the body of a missing girl has been found.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Foxygen (“Hang”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Lady Antebellum (“Heart Break”, out June 9th).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Radical Face (“The Family Tree: The Leaves”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Oldies singer Billy Joel.
• “Mary Kills People” (Global) – Debut of a new medical series centering on ‘Dr Mary Harris’ (Caroline Dhavernas) who has a secret professional sideline … she helps terminal patients end their lives.
• “Suits” (Bravo/USA Network) – The 2nd-half of Season 6 debuts. What’s new is actress Meghan Markle (‘Rachel) is now dating Britain’s Prince Harry in real life. Think that might generate some extra attention?
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo) – Oldies singers Cyndi Lauper & Rod Stewart, who are readying to tour together. (See BS MUSIC NOTES.)

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – She’s received lucrative residency offers from 3 Las Vegas casino resorts: the MGM, Venetian, and Caesars. The residency could be worth an eye-popping $500,000 per night, plus free penthouse and unlimited food. They’re said to be the biggest entertainment deals ever put together in Vegas.
• Blake Shelton – He & girlfriend Gwen Stefani found love on “The Voice” (NBC) and now they’re getting paid for it. RadarOnline has exclusively learned they’re getting an exceptional bonus, significantly higher than the other judges, to keep their spark alive on-camera.
• The Chainsmokers – 31-year-old Alex Pall reveals that he battled ADHD as a kid. However, he says medication and a move to a boarding school with a strict regime helped him learn to cope with his condition.
• Cyndi Lauper / Rod Stewart – The unlikely pair are going on a joint tour this Summer, kicking off at the Hard Rock in Hollywood FL on July 6th. The run of concerts is scheduled to finish up in Houston TX on August 12th.
• Eric Church – His recent concert at the sold-out Target Center in Minneapolis MN ran 3 hours and a whopping 37 songs. He’s only recorded 57 songs in his career.
• Florida Georgia Line – Their new single, “God, Your Mama, and Me”, features the Backstreet Boys doing backing harmonies.
• George Michael – Fans are lobbying for a memorial bench in Hampstead Heath, the north London park where he joked (or did he?) about picking up strangers for sex.
• Nas – He’s creating a new clothing collection for his ‘HSTRY’ brand that will feature slogans like “Black Don’t Crack” and James Brown’s famous saying “I’m Black and I’m Proud”. Proceeds benefit the National Black Child Development Institute.

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 42% of people say they became happier after they stopped going on Facebook.
• 31% of people say they wouldn’t date someone that doesn’t eat meat.
• 30% of guys feel comfortable enough in a relationship after 3 months to share their toothbrush.
• 28% of people use at least 2 alarm clocks daily.
• 23% of couples say the thing that annoys them most about their partners is their talking in their sleep.
• 15% of men say they grunt while working out in a public gym because … they think it impresses women.

60-SECOND COLD ONE:
Waiting around for your drinks to get cold can be a thing of the past with the ‘Chill-O-Matic’. The portable device can turn any room-temperature can into a freezing cold one in just 60 seconds – which, according to our math, is faster than your average refrigerator. Running on two AA batteries, the plastic gadget – selling online for $12.50 – spins cans at a high speed while they’re submerged in an ice bath. Despite the quick spin, the soft drink or beer is never fizzy and is ready to drink right away. (If this device is a little too kitschy for your liking, here’s an alternate solution: take a wet paper towel and wrap it around the can; then throw it in the freezer for 15 minutes and you’ll have a frosty brew ready to drink.)
– “Mental Floss”

MOON BREW:
Scientists from the University of California @ San Diego want to brew beer on the Moon. The experiment is actually less about brewing and more about studying the effects of micro-gravity on yeast. If all goes as planned, a spacecraft will deliver the beer-brewing lunar rover to its destination later this year. The onboard equipment will activate. A valve separating the wort (unfermented beer) in one compartment from the yeast in another will lift so the components can intermingle. The fermentation and carbonation are supposed to happen simultaneously, which means there will be no excess carbon dioxide to dispose of. Depending on the success of the final product, scientists in future may be better prepared to develop yeast-containing foods and pharmaceuticals on the Moon’s surface. (Ah! It’s all about drugs.)
– “The Telegraph”

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New terms entering the lingo …
• ‘Cybersoldiers’ – Members of the military who works in the field of cyberwarfare. These are experts in computers and digital warfare.
• ‘Deep Learning’ – A branch of artificial intelligence (AI) techniques that use algorithms based on the neural networks of the brain. Most scientists still prefer to call them by their original academic designation, ‘Deep Neural Networks’.
• ‘Malicious Insider’ – A person within an organization whose actions threaten the security of that organization’s activities or data.

HOME FERTILIZER PLANT:
A new kitchen appliance aims to turn food waste into ‘black gold’ with the touch of a button. The ‘Zera Food Recycler’ is an automated composter that can turn food scraps into fresh fertilizer in just 24 hours. Traditionally, the composting process takes weeks, if not months. By contrast, the trash can-sized ‘Zera’ needs only a day to chop up food scraps, heat them, and churn the mixture with a concoction of coconut fibers and baking soda designed to speed up the process. The appliance can also take in food that traditional compost systems can’t. It breaks down meat and dairy, unlike your average community garden compost pile. The units are due to be available sometime this Summer. (Now the bad news … they’re $999.)
– Curbed.com

WEDDING TRENDS THAT WILL BE EVERYWHERE IN 2017:
According to some of the world’s premier event designers …
✓ Large Scale Installations – For example, filling a ceiling with drapery, flowers, or even floating orbs to add a sense of wonder and create a beautiful and long-lasting memory.
✓ Trees – There’s huge interest in trees of all kinds – from olive to citrus, cypress to birch. Whether rented or purchased, they’re a wonderful antidote to disposable wedding décor.
✓ Bright Colors – After years of neutrals, designers are excited to be incorporating more color into every element of weddings this year.
✓ Greenery – Weddings that focus on using lush leafy greenery like eucalyptus, and detailing with other rich greens like moss, are looking incredibly popular on Pinterest.
✓ Pale Flowers – Brides are now choosing to use flowers as detailing rather than in huge quantities. Roses are a classic choice and look young and modern in pale pink or white.
✓ Hoops – Wooden hoops are adorned with leaves and branches and suspended from the ceiling, like a botanical chandelier.
✓ Mirrors – Instead of blackboards (popular 2014-15) brides are now writing out their wedding day itinerary on more unusual objects. Mirrors are a big choice for 2017.
✓ Sailcloth Marquees – If you’re getting married al fresco, a sail cloth marquee is the last word in chic. The internal height and the open sides provide a light, airy feel.
– “Vogue”

SIMPLE SOLUTION:
After scrapping a path to the door of your snowed-in vehicle, the last thing you want to deal with is scrapping off the frost-encrusted windshield. Well here’s a simple trick for defrosting your windshield in less than 60 seconds. It’s courtesy of appropriately-named meteorologist Ken Weathers, who’s on the 6 News team at WATE-TV in Knoxville TN. Step 1: Spray the glass with a solution of 1 part water and 2 parts rubbing alcohol. Step 2: Wait 1 minute. Step 3: Drive away. The reason why this works so quickly and well is that rubbing alcohol has a freezing point way below that of water. (Fabulous. No more shattered credit cards after trying to use them as impromptu ice scrapers.)
– TravelAndLeisure.com

DID YOU KNOW?
iPhones cost $98,000 in Venezuela.
– “The Atlas”

BS CHRONOMETER 01.25.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1981 [36] Alicia Keys (Augello-Cook), NYC, pop-R&B singer (“Fallin'”, w/Jay Z-“Empire State of Mind”)/sometime movie actress (“The Secret Life of Bees”, “The Nanny Diaries”)

1985 [32] Michael Trevino, Montebello CA, TV actor (‘Tyler Lockwood’ on “The Vampire Diaries” since 2009)

1996 [21] Calum Hood, Sydney NSW, Australia, pop vocalist-bassist (5 Seconds to Summer-“Amnesia”, “Don’t Stop”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Intravenous Nurse Day”, saluting nurses whose main ambition in life is finding a good vein in patients’ forearms in which to insert a needle. In fact, medical insiders will tell you nurses often ogle and discuss the veins of unsuspecting people in public places. This is known as ‘nurse porn’.

• “Irish Coffee Day”, a delicious cocktail made with black coffee, sugar, Irish whiskey, and whipped cream. Joe Sheridan, a bartender at Foynes Airbase in Ireland, invented the concoction in 1942 as replenishment after a miserably cold 18-hour journey across the Atlantic.

• “Opposite Day”, a day to do everything backwards (ie: eat wrong-handed, say the opposite of what you mean) as a fun way to get out of your tedious, day-in, day-out, lackluster, humdrum, milquetoast, run-of-the-mill rut.

• “Robbie Burns Day”, party time for Scots everywhere! It honors Scotland’s national poet who was born January 25, 1759 and whose most famous composition was “Auld Lang Syne”. A traditional ‘Burns Supper’ includes cock-a-leekie soup (fowl, leeks, and herbs), haggis (minced sheep’s heart, lungs, and liver mixed with oatmeal), neeps and tatties (mashed turnip and potatoes). The meal is then washed down with Scotch whisky toasts.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [13] “The Lord Of the Rings: Return Of the King” wins both musical categories (‘Best Original Score’, ‘Best Original Song’) at the “Golden Globe Awards”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2003 [14] Billy Joel escapes relatively unharmed when he totals his Mercedes-Benz on a Long Island NY highway (his defence: he was in a “mental fog” caused by lingering depression due to the 9/11 attacks … 4½ months earlier)

2011 [06] 53-year-old Canadian singer Mary-Lu Zahalan-Kennedy becomes first in the world to graduate from Liverpool Hope University with a Masters degree in ‘The Beatles’

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2011 [06] ‘Egyptian Revolution’ begins with a series of street demonstrations, acts of civil disobedience, labor strikes, and violent clashes (President Hosni Mubarak finally resigns February 11th)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Dental Drill Appreciation Day
[Thurs] Peanut Brittle Day
[Fri] Pre-School Fitness Day
[Fri] Thomas Crapper Day
[Sat] Chinese New Year
[Sat] Kazoo Day
This Week Is … Clean Out Your Inbox Week
This Month Is … Mentoring Month

BULL’S BITS

BS GOOD THINGS ABOUT HAVING THE FLU:
✓ “xXx: Return of Xander Cage” is actually entertaining when viewed with a high fever.
✓ Sometimes it’s just nice to be ‘clammy’.
✓ You can use your forehead to warm dinner rolls.
✓ If you ask politely, your letter carrier might rub Vick’s Vaporub into your chest.
✓ If you’re an actor and you’re playing a guy who sneezes a lot … say hello to Oscar!
✓ If your temperature goes up to 106, you can bring the thermometer to KISS 106 and get a free KISS 106 bumper sticker!
✓ Getting gooned on Nyquil.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What was the absolute worst movie of 2016? These pics are nominees for the 37th Razzie Awards’ in February …
✗ “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice”
✗ “Dirty Grandpa”
✗ “Gods of Egypt”
✗ “Hillary’s America: The Secret History Of the Democratic Party”
✗ “Independence Day: Resurgence”
✗ “Zoolander #2”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Going to hell when I die would just be redundant.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: THIS costs the average person 60¢ per year.
Answer: Charging the phone.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Guilt is simply nature’s way of letting you know that you’re having too good a time.

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