July 27, 2000 More Crap From The Bull Edition: #1855
For years BS has celebrated “Thomas Crapper Day” each January, honoring the Englishman who purportedly invented the flush toilet in the 19th century. Well, that celebration is now history as a 2,000-year-old toilet with running water has just been found by archaeologists in the tomb of a king of the Han Dynasty in China.
NEW BS EXPRESSIONS CAUSED BY THE DISCOVERY OF THE CHINESE TOILET:
• “I’ve taken enough of your Han!”
• “What kind of cheap Han-ola is this anyway?”
• “That idea went down the ol’ Han-ner.”
• “What a Han-ny summer this has been so far.”
• “I lost all my money playing Hans in Vegas.”
• “Dad’s upstairs in the john taking a Han.”
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Edmonton-born former “Law & Order” star Jill Hennessy will play Jackie Kennedy in the NOVEMBER NBC-TV miniseries “Jackie, Ethel, Joan: Women Of Camelot” . . . Those foul-mouthed “South Park” kids have a new gig – endorsing condoms in Britain (“Oh my god, you shagged Kenny!”) . . . James Ulmer’s new book “Hollywood Hot List: The Complete Guide to Star Power”, due out THIS FALL, ranks the 200 hottest actors and actresses in show biz based on commercial clout (top 5 are Julia Roberts, Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson and Bruce Willis) . . . Barbra Walters may have dumped him from a scheduled TV interview but OJ Simpson will still surface TODAY in a scheduled 2-hour online chat hosted by Entertainment Network Inc (visitors to the chat room will have to pay a fee, because the Juice needs bucks to find the ‘real killer’).
MOVIES IN THE WORKS:
YESTERDAY Norman Jewison’s “Rollerball” remake began shooting in Montreal, co-starring Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, fresh from her role in “X-Men” . . . Tom Hanks will co-produce a feature film based on Winnipeg-born Nia Vardalos‘ one-woman play, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”, to be shot THIS FALL in Toronto . . . 68-year-old Liz Taylor will co-star with Debbie Reynolds (68), Lauren Bacall (75) and Shirley MacLaine (66) in the aptly-named “These Old Broads” (“Grumpy Old Women”).
SUMMER VACATION INTERVIEW:
33-year-old David Yanciw started the Website “Big Things — The Monuments of Canada” to record unusual roadside attractions across the country. Among those he’s discovered so far – an oversize perogy, giant Easter egg, enormous mosquito, big deer antlers, a mammoth turtle, and the giant ‘Happy Rock’ — a slab of rock with a happy face painted on it. He estimates there are well over 200 such monuments in Canada — many of them really tacky. Ask about his favorites.
NET: http://members.xoom.com/yanciw/
To arrange interview: yanciw@xoommail.com
AND NOW THE BOOK:
“Survivor!”, the official companion book to the TV show penned by its creator Mark Burnett, is coming in September. Shocking excerpts –
• The Tagi women had a secret pact to make Richard their first victim, but his public ‘coming out’ changed their minds.
• Crusty old BB didn’t need the $1 million prize – he’s already a millionaire several times over and planned to donate any winnings to charity.
• The Tagi Tribe bonded by skinny-dipping in the morning together — minus Dirk and Rudy.
THE BULL SHEET 07.27.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [60] Bugs Bunny, Hollywood CA, long-eared rodent actor (makes his debut in “A Wild Hare”)
1969 [31] Hunter Hearst Helmsley (Paul Levesque), Greenwich CT, WWF wrestler known as ‘Triple H’ or ‘The Game’/won 60-minute “Iron Man Match” against The Rock at “Judgement Day 2000’” QUOTE: “Not only are you not in my league, you can’t even hold my jock!”
1975 [25] Alex Rodriguez, NYC, MLB All-Star shortstop (Seattle Mariners)/AL single-season record for most home runs by shortstop (42 in 1998)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
Today is “Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day”, to help them get to know their real environment.
BS PLANT TRIVIA:
•.What was the name of the man-eating plant in the movie “Little Shop Of Horrors?” [ANSWER: ‘Audrey II’ or ‘Audrey Jr’.]
• What plant has “29 Palms”? [ANSWER: Robert Plant]
• About 85% of the plant life on Earth is located here. [ANSWER: In the oceans.]
Newfoundland is planning a series of events to mark the 1,000th anniversary of Viking explorer Leif (“the Lucky”) Ericsson’s arrival in Canada. TOMORROW, a replica of his ship, captained by a direct descendent, is scheduled to arrive off the Newfoundland coast near the first-ever European settlement in North America at L’Anse aux Meadows.
PHONER: 709-623-2608 (L’Anse aux Meadows National Historic Site)
ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1991 [09] “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” by Bryan Adams hits #1 for 7 weeks
1996 [04] Toni Braxton’s “You’re Makin’ Me High”/”Let It Flow” hits #1
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1900 [100] HJ Heinz Company formed (famous for its ‘57 Flavors’)
1921 [79] Frederick Banting & Charles Best discover ‘insulin’ (University of Toronto)
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1982 [18] Montréal Expos win 1,000th game in fewest seasons of any expansion team (13)
1996 [04] At Atlanta Olympics, Canada’s Donovan Bailey sets world record to win 100 metres in 9.84 seconds
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] National Milk Chocolate Day
National Laughter Week
National Ice Cream Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS TRIVIA:
Q: If you ordered a ‘methuselah’ of champagne, how many litres would the bottle hold — 2, 4 or 6?
A: A ‘magnum’ holds 1.5 litres, a ‘jeroboam’ holds 3, but a ‘methuselah’ contains 6 full litres of party time!
BS TAG LINE:
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
