July 19, 2000 Sheet Rocks! Edition: #1849
CBS is not commenting on whether the secret of who wins “Survivor” has been blown by an extremely observant keyboard jockey who tapped into private files on the official Website and found only 1 contestant’s photo didn’t have a red ‘X’ (Gervase). Meantime on TONIGHT’s episode, Greg apparently dumps Colleen and makes a play for Richard. Is it some form of strategy? And can you believe people really discuss this stuff around the water cooler?
MORE BS HIGHLIGHTS FROM TONIGHT’S “SURVIVOR”:
• Susan shows her ongoing displeasure with Sean by answering his criticisms with the comeback, “Well excuse ME, Robinson Crusoe!”
• Jenna complains Rudy’s habit of overdoing it with the paprika is ruining the subtle taste of cooked rat.
• Gervase’s ability to hold his breath is put to a whole new test after the Rattanas enjoy a big meal of beans around the campfire.
• Richard fashions a stylish shift from woven palm leaves and insists from now on he be referred to as ‘Ginger’.
• Kelly pitches a fit when she discovers no one had the forethought to bring any Grey Poupon.
• In the middle of the final tryst between Greg and Colleen, he stops to groom her and eat bugs from her hair.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
19-year-old tennis hottie Anna Kournikova has received death threats from an angry Elizabeth Hurley fan after she called the Brit actress “so ugly” at a recent charity event (worse case of tennis backstabbing since Monica Seles) . . . Following a 2-week stay at an exclusive addiction treatment clinic, 53-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood is attempting to give up his 30-year drinking habit for good and has banned all booze from his home (in related news, the Stones world tour next year will be called ‘The Rolling Stones Live Plus Keith Richards’).
BS FROM AROUND-THE-WORLD:
• Italy’s parliament has voted down legislation that would have denied ugly people the right to be seen naked in public. The controversial bill would have created a ‘Commission Of Beauty’, entrusted with issuing ‘nudity permits’ to good-looking people only. (So if you’re visiting an Italian beach, beware! There’s still the possibility of being exposed to Roberto Benigni in the buff!)
• The African country of Swaziland is banning mini-skirts in schools to try to halt the spread of AIDS. (They’re also banning beer nuts to prevent alcoholism and sex to prevent smoking.)
• Austrian legislators have just outlawed what had become a wildly popular event in local nightclubs — pig wrestling! The spectacle of scantily-clad women grappling with little porkers was banned after numerous protests from animal-rights groups, who claim it’s degrading — to the pigs! (Which ones?)
SWEET AGONY:
A study in the “Journal of Neuroscience” finds that pain itself elicits analgesia, or relief. This long-lasting relief is produced by the brain’s ‘reward’ pathway, the same network that prompts good feelings in response to certain behaviors, like quenching your thirst and having sex. (So to feel true ecstasy, pound your thumb with a hammer!)
THE BULL SHEET 07.19.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [53] Brian May, London ENG, classic rock guitarist/songwriter (Queen-“We Will Rock You”, “Another One Bites the Dust”)
1960 [40] Atom Egoyan, Cairo EGYPT, Toronto-based film director (“Felicia’s Journey”, “The Sweet Hereafter”, “Exotica”)/wife Arsinée Khanjian appears in all his movies
1962 [38] Anthony Edwards, Santa Barbara CA, TV actor (Dr Mark Greene-“ER”) FACTOID: Got his big break in the 1982 movie “Fast Times At Ridgemont High”, along with Sean Penn, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Judge Reinhold and Nicolas Cage
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Halifax] “Tallships 2000″ begins
TODAY IS “Flitch Day”, based on an old custom where bacon was given to any married couple who could prove they had lived in harmony and fidelity for one year. Very few ‘took home the bacon’.
ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1996 [04] Atlanta Summer Olympics opening
1999 [01] Investigators announce ill-fated plane piloted by John F Kennedy Jr dropped 11,000 ft in just 14 secs
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1695 [305] 1st ‘personal ad’ looking for a spouse
1961 [39] 1st ‘in-flight movie’ shown, on TWA (“In Love Possessed”)
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1985 [15] 7′-10″ George Bell of Durham NC wins title of ‘Big Foot’ with size 28 ½ shoe
1994 [06] Largest bubble-gum bubble has 23-inch diameter (Fresno CA)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Moon Day
[Thurs] British Open Golf begins (St Andrews)
[Fri] “Pokemon 2000″ opens in movie theaters (AGGHHHH!)
Space Week
Read An Almanac Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS PHONE STARTER:
“If you were a contestant on “Survivor”, what SINGLE ‘luxury item’ would you take with you?”
BS TRIVIA:
Q: What rock band holds the dubious title for the MOST DEATHS at a concert performed by a single group?
A: Currently touring wrinkle rockers The Who. At their 1979 concert at Riverfront Coliseum in Cincinnati, 11 fans died when thousands rushed the doors in a mad scramble for first-come, first-served seating. Unfortunately, the doors weren’t open yet.
(Source: Excite News)
BS TAG LINE:
In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person should be fired.
