The Bull Sheet

July 29, 2008

Tuesday, July 29, 2008        Edition: #3824
Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
“The Dark Knight“ has become the fastest movie to ever gross $300 million in domestic box office – just 10 days (and over $355 million worldwide) . . . 21-year-old movie actor Shia LaBeouf is recovering from extensive surgery to his hand after that DUI vehicle accident SUNDAY and is expected to be absent from the set of the “Transformers” sequel, ”Revenge Of the Fallen“, for at least a month (but with a multi-bazillion-dollar budget, you can bet they won’t wait long) . . .  The flower power of Jesus in the 1970s, better known as “Godspell”, is returning to Broadway in NYC THIS FALL (the pop musical opens OCTOBER 23rd) . . . The publicist for Paul McCartney’s ex-, Heather Mills, has quit after 4 years on-the-job, saying her former boss is simply ‘an impossible person’ (and we just thought she was nuts) . . . Rumor has it NBC-TV is trying to convince out-going “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno to take on a weekly primetime variety show and – if he turns it down in favor of an ABC-TV late-night offer – give the project to Rosie O’Donnell instead (yuck, it’s ‘Lame & Lamer’) . . . Paris Hilton says her Good Charlotte rocker BF Benji Madden has helped her grow up and take responsibility for her actions for the first time (now if he could just get you to shut up) . . . And not content with slapping together half-hour dinners and yakking on her daytime talk show, Rachael Ray is now launching the ‘Rachael Ray Nutrish‘ line of dog foods to benefit animal charities, based on recipes she created for her pit bull, ‘Isaboo’ (take one human leg, add …).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC) – The celebrity judges determine which contestants will advance to the ‘Vegas Callbacks’.
• “Canadian Idol” (CTV) – Another one bites the dust after ‘Unplugged Week’ performances coached by Gavin Rossdale, aka Mr Gwen Stefani.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Classic rocker Bryan Adams is onstage.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Classic rocker Belinda Carlisle (The Go-Go’s) is a guest.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – CCM band Third Day performs.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• AC/DC – They’ll travel to London in early AUGUST to shoot a video for the first single off their new album “Black Ice”.
• Bon Jovi – Jon Bon Jovi is co-owner of the Philadelphia Soul, which just won the Arena Football League Championship.
• Kenny Chesney – He’s releasing his first new music in more than a year AUGUST 10th. The track “Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven” is from his upcoming album and is said to have a calypso influence.
• Loverboy – The city of Summerside PEI has cancelled a planned AUGUST 6th concert featuring the ‘80s rockers because only about 200 of 5,000 available seats were sold.
• Madonna – She & director-hubby Guy Ritchie are out to squash those nasty divorce rumors by renewing their wedding vows. A special ‘Shabbat Nachamu’ (‘Night of Consolation’) Kabbalah ceremony is being planned on the weekend of her 50th birthday, AUGUST 16th.
• Rolling Stones – After months of speculation, they’ve left EMI for Universal Music Group. The new deal on the Polydor label covers a portion of their back catalogue and any future releases.
• Whitney Houston – The 1st single off her long-awaited comeback album, “Like I Never Left” featuring Akon, has been leaked online. (These purported ‘leaks’ are about as believable as pro wrestling. Let’s call them what they are … staged previews to attract interest.)

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Doomsday” ( Action Adventure ): Years after the lethal ‘Reaper Virus’ has decimated Britain’s population, a team of specialists is dispatched into a hot zone where a new breakout has occurred, hoping to find a cure before humanity is eliminated from the planet. Stars Rhona Mitra and Bob Hoskins. Shot in the UK and South Africa. Sounds a lot like “28 Days Later”, no?
• “Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay” ( Comedy ): John Cho (“Star Trek” in 2009) & Kal Penn (“House MD”) reprise their roles as the loveable stoners from 2004’s cult hit “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle”. This time, while trying to fly to Amsterdam for a smoke-filled vacation, they’re accused of being terrorists. That’s what gets them to Gitmo. Co-stars Neil Patrick Harris (“How I Met Your Mother”) and Rob Corddry (ex-“Daily Show”).
• “Never Back Down” ( Martial Arts Action ): After being beat up by a bully, the new kid at a Florida high school (Sean Faris) is introduced to the world of mixed-martial-arts fighting and a tough teacher (Djimon Hounsou) who takes him under his wing. Amber Heard co-stars as the school’s eye-candy hottie.
• “Shine a Light” ( Documentary ): Director Martin Scorsese’s acclaimed look at the Rolling Stones. Features archival interviews with band members as well as electrifying guest performances by Christina Aguilera, Jack White, and bluesman Buddy Guy.
• Also released TODAY: “Beverly Hills 90210: The 5th Season” (TV); “The Hills: The Complete 3rd Season” (TV); “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – The 7th Year” (TV); “Surfwise” (Documentary); “ WarGames – 25th Anniversary Edition”; and “Witchblade: The Complete Series” (TV).

ROCKING IT OLD SCHOOL:
Bob Paris, owner of a company called Pack Central, sells music on old fashioned tape cassettes to a captive market – incarcerated prisoners in America’s jails. CDs are not allowed in because their hard plastic cases can be turned into makeshift shivs and prisoners don’t have Internet access for downloads. So cassettes are the music alternative of choice. What are the cons listening to? Bestsellers include Al Green’s “Greatest Hits”, Linkin Park’s “Hybrid Theory”, Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, Pink Floyd’s “The Dark Side Of the Moon”, and a greatest hits collection by the Stylistics. (They’re partying like it’s 1979.)
– “New York Times”

SEARCHING FOR COOL:
Some former Google employees have founded ‘Cuil’ (pronounced ‘cool’), which they claim indexes more of the Internet faster and more cheaply than their previous employer’s phenomenally popular search engine. Cuil was set up in response to criticisms that Google privileges the most popular sites and relies too much on the likes of Wikipedia. Unlike Google, which looks at links and audience traffic, Cuil analyses the context of each page and the user’s search request in much more detail. That, they claim, will put nearly the entire web at the fingertips of every user. (Cuz there are another 3 billion blogs we’ve been missing.)
NET: http://www.cuil.com
– Reuters

THING ARE LOOKING UP … OR ARE THEY?
Researchers at North Dakota State University have tested volunteers to find those with the strongest pessimistic and optimistic traits. What they’ve discovered is interesting – pessimists’ brains work best when they are looking downward and optimists’ minds function more quickly when they are looking upward. (Hey, thanks for the heads up!)
– “Social Studies”

EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE A STAR
A pair of Montréal psychiatrists is researching a new form of mental illness in which people are convinced their lives are the central theme of a reality TV show. The syndrome has been dubbed the “Truman Show Delusion” by doctors Joel & Ian Gold who have personally studied 5 patients suffering from the illness and learned of 6 more cases since introducing the topic at psychiatric conferences. The syndrome differs from more traditional mental illnesses because the person at the center of the paranoia creates an entirely false world in which they believe they are the focus of attention of millions. (Sort of like the morning show down the street.)
– “National Post”

ARE YOU HEARING IT?
Ever had a weird song just pop into your head, such as “Yes, We Have No Bananas”? You could be experiencing ‘musical hallucinations’. They differ from just having a tune going around in your head, in that you can’t turn them off. Welsh psychiatrist Victor Aziz is an expert in the subject and says we are more likely to experience them if we go from hearing a lot of music to a quiet place with little auditory stimulus. Aziz believes that in the iPod age, the increase in the amount of music we are exposed to will make musical hallucinations a more common phenomenon. (What tune gets stuck in your head and won’t go away?)
– “Guardian”

START AGAIN:
That Australian dude who sold his entire life (house, car, job, and friends) on eBay for around $400,000 and was ready to go on an around-the-world adventure is now being forced to start over as none of the bidders were able to actually come up with the cash. Ian Usher now says he will follow a more traditional route by listing his house with a real estate agent and selling his stuff to people who can actually pay for it.
– “Daily Mail”

FOR THE RECORD:
The latest “Guinness World Record” to be adjudicated is the ‘Largest Number of People Dressed as Smurfs’ – 1,253 of them in Castleblayney, Ireland.
– GuinnessWorldRecords.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Zimbabwe’s central bank has been forced to print its first-ever 100-billion Zimbabwe-dollar bills thanks to continued hyperinflation rate of over 100,000% in the past year. Over the past few months a succession of 100-million, 250-million and 500-million notes have been issued, all of which have become virtually worthless. The new 100-billion bill will only buy about 2 loaves of bread.
– BBC News
• Some scholars believe that capitalization at the beginning of a sentence may vanish because the informality of emailing and texting has made grammatical incorrectness more acceptable.
– “Cosmopolitan”

BS CHRONOMETER 07.29.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953 [55] Ken Burns, NYC, Emmy Award-winning writer, producer, documentary-maker (“Baseball”, “The Civil War”)

1953 [55] Tim Gunn, Washington DC, fashion consultant/TV personality (“Project Runway”, “Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style”/author (“A Guide to Quality, Taste & Style”)

1953 [55] Geddy Lee, Toronto ON, classic rock singer/bassist (Rush-“Far Cry”, ”Test for Echo”)

1953 [55] Patti Scialfa, Deal NJ, classic rock singer (E Street Band-“Hungry Heart”, “Born to Run”)/Mrs Bruce Springsteen since 1991

1966 [42] Martina McBride (Schiff), Medicine Lodge KS, country singer (“Anyway”, “This One’s For the Girls”)

1973 [35] Wanya (‘Squirt’) Morris, Philadelphia PA, ‘90s R&B singer (Boyz II Men-“I’ll Make Love to You”) whose singles had some of the longest chart runs in music history

1974 [34] Josh Radnor, Bexley OH, TV actor (‘Ted Mosby’ on “How I Met Your Mother” since 2005)

1977 [31] Danger Mouse (Brian Burton), White Plains NY, pop recording artist (Gnarls Barkley-“Crazy”)/record producer (Gorillaz-“Demon Days”, Beck-“Modern Guilt”)

1982 [26] Allison Mack, Preetz, Germany, TV actress (‘Chloe Sullivan’ on “Smallville” since 2001)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Lasagna Day” celebrating the famous Italian heart attack on a plate that’s become a worldwide fave. Almost all recipes for the ‘perfect lasagna’ feature ricotta as the cheese of choice. However, everybody seems to have their own secret ingredient. What’s yours?

• “Rain Day” in Waynesburg, Pennsylvania, an annual community event that started more than a hundred years ago when a farmer noticed it always seemed to rain on July 29th. They now claim it has rained on this date every year since 1796. It’s a good excuse for an annual party & ‘Miss Rain Day’ beauty pageant.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/ksm9p

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1936 [72] 1st ‘TV Program’ includes dancing, fashion show, and comedy

2000 [08] Actors Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston wed in Malibu CA

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1907 [101] 1st ‘Boy Scout Troop’ is organized by Sir Robert Baden-Powell in London UK

1958 [50] ‘NASA’ (National Aeronautics & Space Administration) is established

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1986 [22] Record for ‘Hammock Swinging’ begins (ends after 240 hours of lying around)

1988 [20] Reg Morris of Walsall UK sets world record for ‘Crawling on Hands & Knees’ at 28.5
miles

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Cheesecake Day
[Thurs] Mutts Day
[Fri] Respect for Parents Day
[Fri] Rounds Resounding Day
[Fri] Girlfriends Day
This Week Is … Single Working Women’s Week
This Month Is … Smart Irrigation Month

BULL’S BITS
MORE BS HANDY HINTS TO MAKE LIFE EASIER:
• Keep a new toothbrush in the kitchen for cleaning your grater and sieve.
• When camping, store cereal in washed plastic bottles. It will keep it from getting damp.
• Add a little white vinegar to your dishwashing water. It will make cutlery and glasses sparkle.
• If you have an old freezer that needs defrosting, line it with waxed paper after you’re done. The next time you defrost, the ice will come off easily.
• Keep your recipes clean and easy to read by putting them in a photo album with plastic page covers.

BS TIPS FOR LIVING LONGER:
• Love. Nurture an intimate, sexual relationship.
• Have a purpose in life. Stay occupied and involved.
• Nurture high self-esteem. Feel good about yourself and see the inner beauty in those around you.
• Nurture your faith and the capacity to forgive.
• Learn to control stress.
• Eat right, but don’t diet. Being moderately overweight is not a major risk factor for disease.
• Exercise … the more the better. Both aerobic and resistance training are important.
• Get regular medical checkups. Become an educated consumer of healthcare.
• Be happy.
– “Breaking the Rules of Aging” by Dr David Lipschitz

BS RANDOM JOKE:
You can’t make a program without broken egos.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Should ice cream vendors be limited as to what music and/or sounds they make while trawling residential neighborhoods? (A new noise pollution bylaw proposed for Worcester, England would only allow vendors to sound chimes for 4 seconds at a time, with 3 minutes between soundings. They’d also have to wait 2 hours between jingles when their vehicles are parked.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: You are twice as likely to lie to someone if you are doing THIS with them.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Talking on the phone.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
When all else fails, read the instructions.

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