The Bull Sheet

July 16, 2007

Monday, July 16, 2007        Edition: #3575
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WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Wed over the weekend: Model-turned-movie/TV actress Rebecca Romijn (“X-Men”/”Ugly Betty”) & TV actor Jerry O’Connell (“Crossing Jordan”), who sweated out their vows in 100 F-heat at their ranch outside Los Angeles. About 100 guests attended, including their 2 panting dogs.
– “People”
• Beloved TV detective “Columbo” is set to conquer Broadway. The new play “Columbo Takes the Rap” will go on a national tour before its Broadway run NEXT YEAR. Actor Norm Boucher will take on the role Peter Falk made famous in the hit TV-movie series that debuted in 1971.
– “Contact Music”
• Rehabbing party girl Lindsay Lohan is said to be furious after discovering a hacker has stolen naked pics of her from her personal computer. The candid snaps were apparently taken by her sometime boyfriend Calum Best.
– CelebSlam.com
• CBS-TV has narrowed the field of possible candidates to replace Bob Barker as host of “The Price Is Right” to just 2: Mark Steines, co-anchor of “Entertainment Tonight” and Todd Newton, who currently hosts a live version of the game show in Las Vegas.
– “New York Post”
• Diddy’s baby mama & new ex-, Kim Porter, could clean up more than $1 million a year in child support. The mother of 3 of his children recently split with the hip-hop mogul over his hard-partying ways. Diddy’s other child by another woman receives around $30,000-a-month in child support so it’s likely Porter will get circa $100,000 a month from the deflated Puff Daddy.
– “Page Six”
• From the whatever-happed-to department: 8 months after his racist rant at LA’s Laugh Factory, former “Seinfeld” star Michael Richards has basically disappeared off the show biz radar. That’s because he’s given up stand-up comedy and headed off to Cambodia, where he’s ‘taking time off to get to know himself’.
– “Los Angeles Times”
• Pete Townshend, the 62-year-old guitarist for The Who, premiered his new rock opera at a theater festival in Poughkeepsie NY on the weekend. “The Boy Who Heard Music” is described as a ‘hallucinatory tale about the rise and fall of a band made up of 3 teenagers from different ethnic backgrounds as seen through the eyes of an aging rock star’. Hey, back in the day the storyline of “Tommy” sounded pretty random too.
– CBC Arts
• Remy Ma, a member of Fat Joe’s Terror Squad, has turned herself in for attempted murder. Ma, who was nominated for a Grammy Award with Fat Joe in 2004 for the hit “Lean Back”, allegedly shot a ‘friend’ in the abdomen FRIDAY night at close range … twice.
– “Daily News”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Barry Manilow – His new album, “The Greatest Songs of the Seventies” (out SEPTEMBER 18), will feature an ‘interpretation’ of Elton John & Kiki Dee’s 1976 hit “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” with (huh?) Rosie O’Donnell.
• Fergie – She says the best thing about fame is being able to fly around on a private jet. Hey, thanks for your meaningful participation in “Live Earth”.
• 50 Cent – He’s pushed back the release date of his upcoming album, “Curtis”, for the 2nd time. It’s now slated to hit shelves on SEPTEMBER 11th.
• John Lennon – A pair of sunglasses he once owned are expected to fetch upwards of $2 million before an online auction ends July 31st. Lennon gave them to The Beatles’ interpreter during their tour of Japan in 1966.
• Prince – The controversial mass giveaway of his new album, “Planet Earth”, went ahead as scheduled YESTERDAY in the London newspaper “Mail on Sunday”. That means some  2.9 million freebies hit the market. CD giveaways are common in British papers but usually they are oldies compilations.
• Santana – He’s currently working on a tune he hopes will become the official anthem for the 2010 soccer “World Cup” in South Africa.
• Sarah McLachlan – She’s given birth to her 2nd child, a baby girl named Taa-Jah, the Hindi word for ‘crown’. She & husband Ashwin Sood already have a 5-year-old daughter named India Ann.
• Snoop Dogg – He’s signed up for a new E! reality series to debut late in the year that will follow him at home, work, and if we’re lucky … jail.
• White Stripes – Their unscheduled ‘guerilla’ performances continued FRIDAY with a free show for 100-odd people at the Locas Bar & Billiards in Halifax. That was after they fired a canon on Citadel Hill. TONIGHT they wrap up the Canadian leg of their world tour at Mile One Centre in St John’s.
• Willie Nelson – After tonight’s show in Saratoga CA he’s taking a few weeks off to recharge. That means rescheduling more than a dozen “Last of the Breed” tour dates until he returns AUGUST 17th in Oklahoma City OK. Sometimes we all forget … the guy’s 74!

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• James Blunt – An old Chappell upright piano he used to compose his hit “You’re Beautiful” is going under the hammer at a Bonham’s auction in London. It was left behind in the 2-bedroom flat where Blunt previously lived with his sister.
• Justin Timberlake – This afternoon he brings his “Summer Love” to the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• “Victoria Beckham: Coming To America” – The much-talked-about reality series-turned-1-hour special airs (NBC/CTV), promising an inside glimpse at the Beckham’s relocation from London to Los Angeles. Victoria claims the show will reveal her true personality. “I think people have this impression that I’m this miserable cow who doesn’t smile, but I’m actually quite the opposite,” she tells “W” magazine. (Seems all those all those photos of her looking pouty and dour are a coincidence.)

MARS MOCK-UP FOR MASOCHISTS:
To understand how humans might cope in extreme conditions, the European Space Agency has decided to send a crew of 6 on a 520-day simulated mission to Mars in late 2008 or early 2009. Before you jump all over this idea, keep in mind the living conditions will be cramped; the food pre-packaged; and the crew will experience extreme isolation and confinement. They will not only lose sight of Earth for almost 2 years, radio contact will take 40 minutes to travel back home. For all of this fun you’ll get about $150-a-day, a total of about $75,000.
– Reuters

BENEATH THE COVERS:
• “The Last of the Hitlers” by British journalist David Gardner details the family of William Patrick Hitler, son of Adolf Hitler’s half-brother Alois. The family has apparently lived in NYC under false names for 50 years. Interestingly, the 3 sons of William Patrick who are still alive have made a pact to not have children so that the Hitler genes will die with them.
• “Save Me from Myself: How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story”, the autobiography of former Korn guitarist star Brian ‘Head’ Welch, has made the “NY Times” bestseller list after its 1st week of publication.
• “Top Secret Tourism” by Harry Helms is a travel guide to germ warfare labs, clandestine aircraft bases and other places in America you’re not supposed to know about. The book provides descriptions of on-site activities, detailed maps, and complete directions to every location. Have a nice trip and good luck not getting shot!

MINI-VACATION IDEAS:
No time or money for a summer vacation? Experts suggest you try one of these strategies to give yourself a break …
• Change your routine. It can be as simple as going to work or leaving at a different time.
• Get outside. Go to the park, walk along the waterfront, have a coffee or lunch outdoors.
• Be a kid again. Go to a carnival, zoo, theme park or local festival.
• Be a tourist. Explore an area of your city that you’re not familiar with.
• Take day trips. Get out a map, draw a radius covering 1 or 2 hours driving distance and take off in a random direction on weekends.
• Plan a picnic. Have a ‘family reunion’ … only with friends you get along with.
• Go hiking. Grab your boots, your water bottle, your backpack, and get moving.
• Book a hotel. Go online and find a reasonably-priced hotel, preferably with a pool.
• Take a business trip. Offer to take someone’s place on an out-of-town business trip. At least you’ll be getting away!
– AskMen.com

POWER OVER PARENTS:
Behavioral psychologists at Britain’s University of Portsmouth have found that infants as young as 6-months-old use fake crying and pretend laughter in order to manipulate their parents. By 8 months, the little brats have graduated to techniques such as distracting their parents’ attention and concealing forbidden activities. Before this research, it was believed that the developing brain was not capable of lying until 4 years of age.
– “The Telegraph”

NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:
• A year in the works, the new ‘Electronic Tissue Dispenser’ is ready to be rolled out by Kimberly-Clark Corp. The company believes that, thanks to the new gizmo, most people will be satisfied with 5 sheets and therefore use 20% less bathroom tissue. North Americans typically use twice as much T-P as Europeans … as much as an arm’s-length each pull.
• The new ‘Street Smart Police Unit’ is a repackaged Segway transporter for law enforcement. The souped up 2-wheeler features saddle bags, tasers, onboard computer, and flashing lights. But there’s nothing to prevent the inevitable laughter when perps are pulled over by police.

DID YOU KNOW?
• According to new stats from comScore Media Metrix, the number of MySpace users has grown by 35% to 70 million in the past year, while Facebook has doubled it’s popularity to 28 million. However, teen users at MySpace have dropped by 30% while Facebook’s teen usage zoomed a whopping 250%. Bottom line – the odds of you being listed as someone’s ‘friend’ are far greater today than a year ago.
• Spain’s bull-running San Férmin Festival in Pamplona wrapped up on SATURDAY. This year’s casualties: one man from Pamplona gored in the chest; a Mexican man gored in the stomach; and a total of 13 people treated for injuries.

HE SAID IT:
• “In some of the early movies I sound like I’m on helium.”
– 17-year-old “Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix” star Daniel Radcliffe, reminiscing about the ‘old days’.

SHE SAID IT:
• “I do respect him, but I don’t want to barbecue with him. We don’t braid each other’s hair. And, despite the rumors, he is nowhere near a father figure.”
– “Never Again” singer Kelly Clarkson, describing her contentious relationship with 75-year-old recording honcho Clive Davis to “USA Weekend” magazine.

BS CHRONOMETER 07.16.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952 [55] Stewart Copeland, Alexandria, Egypt, classic rock drummer (Police-“Every Breath You Take”, “King of Pain”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2003)  FACTOID: THIS WEEK The Police are on tour in Scandinavia.

1967 [40] Will Ferrell, Irvine CA, movie actor (“Blades of Glory”, “Old School”)/ex-TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 1995-2002)

1971 [36] Ed Kowalczyk, York PA, rock singer (Live-“Lightning Crashes”, “Turn My Head”)

1994 [13] Mark Indelicato, Philadelphia PA, TV actor (‘Justin Suarez‘ on “Ugly Betty” since 2006)

BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
“Talk To A Telemarketer Day”. Instead of slamming down the receiver, take a moment to be polite and friendly. Learn who and where they are. Then slam down the receiver.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1981 [26] Singer Harry Chapin (“Cats in the Cradle”, “Taxi”) is killed at age 39 in an auto accident when his VW Rabbit is rear-ended by a truck on the Long Island Expressway

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1935 [72] 1st ‘Parking Meter’ charges 5 cents (Oklahoma City OK)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1950 [57] ‘Largest Stadium Crowd’ in sports history as 199,854 watch Uruguay defeat Brazil in “World Cup” soccer final

1981 [26] Shukuni Sasaki spins a record 72 plates simultaneously (only he could understand what it’s like trying to hold this show together!)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Royal Mail “Harry Potter” stamps go on sale in Britain
[Wed] Stick Out Your Tongue Day
[Wed] Get Out of the Doghouse Day
[Thurs-July 28] Capital Ex (Edmonton)
[Fri] Moon Day
[Fri] Special Olympics Day
[Fri] “Hairspray”; “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry”; and “Sunshine” open in movie theaters
[Sat] “Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows” is published

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Avoid Boredom Week / Backwards Masking Awareness Week / Captive Nations Week / Independent Retailers Week / Lyme Disease Awareness Week / Rabbit Week / Restless Leg Syndrome Awareness Week / Space Week

BULL’S BITS

WOULD YOU RATHER?
You run down the list while your guest or phone caller decides which choice is more palatable. Would you rather …
• Immerse your naked body in a bathtub of cockroaches OR dive naked head first into a pool of chewing tobacco spit?
• Have to kill ‘Winnie the Pooh’ OR ‘Bambi’?
• Lose your keys 3 days in-a-row OR have your dog eat your birthday cake?
• Always lose OR never play?
• Be able to foretell the future OR have all the money you will every need?
• Be able to stop time while you sleep OR never need to do laundry?
• Be born with a refrigerator on your back OR have 15 nails hammered into your tongue?
• Run across a large vacant field containing 1,000 angry rattlesnakes OR 3 land mines?
• Chew shards of broken glass OR sit on a lighted barbecue grill?
• Bite the curb and get kicked in the back of the head OR get a paper cut on your eyeball?

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What’s the absolute best wedding song? (A new poll is topped by Aerosmith’s classic “Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”.)
• Does it bother you when musicians sell-out their hits for ads? (For instance, The Beatles’ “All You Need Is Love” will soon be used to flog Luvs’ Bear Hug Stretch Diapers.)

BS RANDOM JOKES:
• Outside every thin person there is a fat person trying to get in.
• If the alarm clock woke you up this morning, you didn’t get enough sleep.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A woman is 6 times more likely to do THIS during conversation with another woman than a man is with another man.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Touch.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Do it … before you figure out how it can’t work.

WELCOME NEWBIES:
Da Bull salutes Patrick Nicholson @ The Lounge 99.9 [CHPQ] Parksville/Qualicum BC, who’s just re-signed for another year of “BS” (that’s 14 years, thanks Pat!); and we welcome samplers that include Tom Freimann @ Kool 107.9 [KBKL] Grand Junction CO; Chad Craven @ World’s Best Country Hits [WBCH] 100.1 Hastings MI; Katrina James @ KB [KBID] Bakersfield CA; and Jack Carter @ Classic Rock 102 The Bear [KHXS] Abilene TX. You can subscribe or update your subscription anytime here – http://thebullsheet.com

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