Monday, July 22, 2019 – Edition #6498
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Keanu Reeves is maintaining his status as the internet’s favorite actor one sweet gesture at a time. On the way to set in Louisiana, he spotted a sign on someone’s lawn that read, “You’re breathtaking.” The message was a reference to a viral moment from June in which Reeves said the words to the crowd at the E3 video game conference after a fan shouted the phrase at him from the audience. Upon seeing the sign, Reeves stopped the car to have some fun with it, kneeling in the grass to write, “Stacey, You’re Breathtaking!” along with his signature.
-People
★ Jamie Lee Curtis is coming back as Laurie Strode and will be fighting her brother, super villain Michael Myers. Universal Pictures made the announcement on Friday at Comic-Con in San Diego that there will be two more “Halloween” sequels. Curtis She tweeted the announcement, writing: “It ain’t over till the fat lady sings. Well, my friends and fans…. I’m just WARMING UP.” The first sequel, “Halloween Kills,” will be released on October 16, 2020.
-TheBlast
★ The upcoming “Walking Dead” film that will see Andrew Lincoln reprising his role as Rick Grimes is heading to theaters. AMC stunned pretty much everyone on Friday at the end of its “Walking Dead” Comic-Con panel by showing a brief teaser for the film which ended with the words “only in theaters.” Initially, the plan was for the film to air on AMC, which declined to provide any further details including whether or not it will still air on the network. The film doesn’t have a release date.
-TheWrap
★ Eddie Murphy is itching to get back onstage to perform stand-up, and Netflix wants to give him the perfect landing pad, with a massive payday. Sources say that Murphy has been in talks with the streaming giant for an undisclosed number of comedy specials. Negotiations are hovering around $70 million for the deal. Murphy hung up his comedy mic years ago, and people have been clamoring for a comeback.
-TMZ
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Quentin Tarantino, Keith L. Williams, Tal Wilkenfeld
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): David Spade, Jeff Foxworthy, Red Hearse
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jake Gyllenhaal, Marianne Williamson
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Sen. Cory Booker, Fred Savage, Kane Brown, Mark Lanegan
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Paul Scheer, Stana Katic, the 1975
• “Conan” (TBS): Jim Gaffigan (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Chrissy Metz, Lance Bass
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Rep. Tulsi Gabbard
• “The Talk” (CBS): Chris Sullivan, guest co-host Brigitte Nielsen
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Louie Anderson, Carson Kressley
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Kalen Allen (R)
• “The Family Chantel” (TLC): Series premiere. Chantel confronts Pedro after revealing what she learned from her trip to the Dominican Republic; the family’s pastor encourages the couple to seek family counseling while Pedro and his sister discuss a secret plan.
• “Serial Killer: The Devil Unchained” (ID): Series premiere. Investigative journalist Maria Awes gets a call from serial killer Todd Kohlhepp who claims he killed more than his seven known victims. She teams up with his biographer and FBI “Mindhunter” John Douglas to get to the truth.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ed Sheeran – His new album “No. 6 Collaborations Project” has not only propelled him to the top of the U.K. albums and singles charts, but with 57,000 physical sales, 18,000 downloads, and 70.2 million track streams in its first week of release, it is the fastest-selling album of 2019 in Britain.
• Carly Rae Jepsen – says she feels more confident and empowered now that she’s rocking a platinum blonde mullet. Asked why she went platinum blonde, she said: “You know what, Cyndi Lauper, girls just wanna have fun…I was very much the girl next door – brown hair, kept the safety bangs, didn’t ever change a thing.”
• Will.i.am — wants to work with Madonna. The Black Eyed Peas star – who has previously collaborated with the likes of Britney Spears and Justin Bieber – says Madonna is ”the queen”, and though he could contact her, he won’t broach the subject of a collaboration until he sees her face-to-face.
• The Band – A documentary about their career, “Once Were Brothers: Robbie Robertson and the Band” has been selected as the opening night gala film at this year’s Toronto International Film Festival Sept.5. It is executive produced by Martin Scorsese and Ron Howard, among others.
• Triumph – will be among this year’s inductees to Canada’s Walk of Fame on Nov. 23. Also among those being honored: Will Arnett, Mark Messier, Cindy Klassen, Dr. James Naismith and…Mr. Dressup.
• The Corrs – will reunite for a tour of Europe and the US. Siblings Andrea, Sharon, Caroline and Jim last toured in 2016 and had a one-off gig in London in 2017. Sharon has appeared as a judge on the Irish version of “The Voice”.
• The Doors – A special 50th anniversary edition of their album, “The Soft Parade” will be released on Oct. 18. It will include 12 never before released songs, some ‘stripped down’ versions of some of the album’s classic tracks, and three never-before heard songs from studio rehearsals.
• Billy Ray Cyrus – is still at the top of the charts with his Lil Nas X collaboration ‘Old Town Road’, but he also has a brand-new single. He just dropped ‘Chevys and Fords’, this time with rising star Jonathan McGuire.
• Thomas Rhett – While performing in Darien Lake, N.Y., on Friday night, he spotted a sign in the audience held by a young girl which said: “Look What God Gave Her.” Underneath that were three boxes reading, “Beat Cancer,” “Thomas Rhett Concert” and “Selfie With Thomas.” The first two boxes were checked, while the third was still blank, and when Rhett realized what that meant, he instantly decided to oblige the request, saying, “Oh my God. Get up here.”
WHERE CAN A GUY GET A DRINK AROUND HERE?
We all know by now that we should be doing everything possible to reduce our dependence on plastics. And that in the eyes of many, single use water bottles are evil incarnate. That’s where a new app called “Tap” comes in. It counts on you to bring along your reusable water bottle, and Tap maps out for you and gives walking directions to all the water fountains and restaurants in your area that are willing to refill your bottle. So far, the app lists more than 34,000 refill stations in 30 countries. Some of the locations are traditional water fountains, while others are restaurants or stores, like Sweetgreen, Lululemon, or Adidas, that either have refill stations or are willing to refill a bottle over the counter as a way to draw in customers. There is a similar app in the UK called “Refill.”
(…and the next thing you know, you’re up to your knees in a water fountain, and people are throwing pennies at you…)
(I think we’re going to need a second app to help us find places to dispose of all that water…)
(“There’s an app called Tap for that!”)
-FastCompany
MANSPREAD THE NEWS:
A British woman has won an award for designing a chair that prevents “manspreading.” If you’re not familiar with the tern, manspreading refers to the practice of men sitting with their legs wide apart, thereby taking up more room than necessary. Laila Laurel, a 3D Design and Craft grad, posted photos of her anti-manspreading chairs, which are made of Sycamore and Cherry wood, are triangular in shape and function by forcing men to close their legs while using them. Her chair won the Belmond Award for emerging talent, with the judges calling it “A bold, purpose-driven design that explores the important role of design in…behavior and society issues today.” For some reason, she has also created a chair for women that has a small triangle in the middle that encourages them to “womanspread.”
(It’s not going to do anyone any good until she makes these things into a bus seat!)
(How long until men figure out that they just have to turn the chair around?)
(Yeah, that hurts just to look at it!)
-BroBible
SHORT GAME:
Golf fans watching the 2019 British Open definitely saw more of Erik Van Rooyen than ever before. That’s also why, despite the fact that he was in contention for the lead, all most people were talking about were his pants. His really short pants. In fact, after his Friday round, he was asked exactly seven questions by the media. Five of them were about his trousers. He was wearing what appeared to be a regular pair of maroon sport pants which would be expected of a golfer, except they ended in cuffs just above the ankles. From there, it was bare ankles followed by white golf shoes. If there were socks there, nobody was seeing them.
(That’s probably in style…somewhere.)
(All the better to dig your golf balls out of the water trap with!)
(Don’t you hate it when you accidentally put your kid’s clothes on?)
-Yahoo
HOW THE INTERNET HAS CHANGED THE WAY WE COMMUNICATE:
➠ The period has become “hostile”: Using a period at the end of a short message has come to be seen as outright aggressive by Generation Z. Just listen to the difference in these two sentences: ‘Really, you’re doing great!’ and ‘Really, you’re doing great.’
➠ Exclamation points!!! In internet speak, exclamation points indicate enthusiasm. Conversely, not using them can make you sound like a heartless shrew. The exclamation mark is frequently repurposed to indicate warmth or sincerity, rather than just excitement. (Unless it’s from the boss, saying, “Come to my office, NOW!” Then we’re dealing with something else entirely…)
➠ LOL: While it started out indicating laughter, it quickly became a way of appreciating a joke or defusing a slightly awkward situation, even if you didn’t technically laugh at it. (When was the last time you “LOL’d” out loud?)
➠ Keysmash: That’s “The “haphazard mashing of fingers against the keyboard to signal a feeling so intense you can’t possibly type real words.” (If you see a keysmash online, you’re reading the words of someone who is frustrated. If you see someone performing a keysmash, give them space.)
➠ Poo emoji: The poo emoji, inspired by a 1980s Japanese comic, almost never made its way to our keyboards. Japanese engineers had to explain its importance to Google so it could be adapted as an emoji worldwide. They told their bosses that a poo emoji generally means “I don’t like that — but softly”, or “I am displeased at what has just been expressed”. It’s the anti-like. (Are you telling me that thing ISN’T chocolate ice cream? Uh-oh…)
-NYPost
DID YOU KNOW?
Cats like boxes for three main reasons: 1. They crave the security it offers, giving them a place where they can feel safe from other animals, yet keep an eye out for possible prey. 2. They find boxes comforting and warm. 3. They love the texture. Which explains why they love to scratch, bite and tear their “homes” to pieces as well.
-Reader’sDigest
BS CHRONOMETER 07.22.19
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [79] Alex Trebek, Sudbury ON, TV game show host (“Jeopardy!” since 1984)
1946 [73] Danny Glover, San Francisco CA, movie actor (“Lethal Weapon” films, “The Color Purple”)
1947 [72] Albert Brooks (Einstein), Beverly Hills CA, movie actor (“Finding Dory”, “Broadcast News”)
1947 [72] Don Henley, Linden TX, classic rock musician (‘The Boys of Summer’, Eagles-‘Hotel California’)
1955 [64] Willem Dafoe, Appleton WI, movie actor (“The Grand Budapest Hotel”, “Spider-Man”) COMING UP…”Motherless Brooklyn”, 2019
1964 [55] David Spade, Birmingham MI, movie actor (“Joe Dirt”, “Grown Ups”)/TV actor (Saturday Night Live” 1990-95)
1989 [30] Keegan Allen, Gold Hill OR, TV actor (‘Toby Cavanaugh’ on “Pretty Little Liars” 2010-17)
1992 [27] Selena Gomez, Grand Prairie TX, pop singer (‘Hands to Myself’, ‘The Heart Wants What It Wants’)/movie actress (“Spring Breakers”, “The Muppets”)
2013 [06] Prince George (George Alexander Lewis), London UK, British royal (First son of Prince William and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge)/third in line to the throne after Queen Elizabeth II, his grandfather, and his father
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Hammock Day”, honoring the most relaxing thing you can swing between 2 trees. It’s the perfect excuse to slow down and loaf during the ‘Dog Days of Summer’.
• “Ratcatchers Day”, observed on the anniversary of the fabled ‘Pied Piper of Hamelin’ (Germany) piping the town’s rats into the Weser River back in 1376.
• “Spooner’s Day”, honoring the 1844 birth of William Archibald Spooner in London UK, who accidentally invented ‘spoonerisms’ – slips of the tongue like ‘queer old dean’ instead of ‘dear old queen’ or ‘blushing crow’ for ‘crushing blow’. (Sounds odd … but it’s tucking frue.)
• “Lion’s Share Day”, A “lion’s share” is an idiom meaning “the largest part of something divided amongst other people.” The expression comes from one of Aesop’s fables, where a lion asks animals to help him hunt, and then afterwards tells them reasons why he should get to keep all parts of the spoils.
• “Pi Approximation Day”, today’s date, written in the date/month format, is 22/7. That’s an approximate value for pi. Don’t confuse today with Pi Day, observed on March 14th.
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Gorgeous Grandma Day
[Tues] Vanilla Ice Cream Day
[Wed] Amelia Earhart Day
[Wed] Cousins Day
This Week Is…Independent Retailers Week
This Month Is…Anti-Boredom Month
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1999 [20] Woodstock ‘99 music festival begins Griffiss Park, Rome NY (till 25th). Attended by 400,000, it would end due to violence. Performers included Metallica, Creed, Kid Rock, Dave Matthews and Red Hot Chili Peppers
2013 [06] Rolling Stones celebrate their homecoming in London with an iTunes-only live album entitled “The Rolling Stones – Hyde Park Live”
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2013 [06] A scientific study 1st reveals that dolphins have unique names for one another, much like humans (only they’re all called ‘Ack Ack Ack Ack’)
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2001 [18] A 30-year-old New Dehli, India man sets a record by standing still for 24 hours and 1 minute, eclipsing the previous record of 18 hours.
2009 [10] The longest recorded solar eclipse in history lasts 6 minutes, 38.8 seconds over parts of Asia and the Pacific Ocean
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The average active vocabulary of an adult English speaker is of around 20,000 words.
✓ 90% of everything written in English uses just 1,000 words.
✓ There are more English words beginning with the letter “S” than with any other letter.
✓ The longest English word consisting of one syllable is “screeched”.
✓ The shortest complete sentence in the English language is “Go.”
✓ Ironically, the most commonly misused word in the English language is “Ironic”.
-FactSlides
BS MY LESSER-KNOWN LIFE GOALS:
• To clap in time with everyone else.
• To not forget garbage day.
• To leave a few Pringles in the can.
• To one day actually have all my laundry done.
• To watch an entire movie and not fall asleep and miss the ending.
• To retire before someone “retires” me.
• To one day open my closet and not have something fall out on me.
• To finish watching Netflix. All of it.
• (***CAUTION – ‘Damn’***)To get one damn Final Jeopardy question right.
• Get out alive.
-Twitter
Best of BS . . .
BS WHAT THE INTERNET TAUGHT ME:
• That it’s never good to Google terms that you don’t understand.
• That I can make $28,000 per month working from home in my jammies.
• That I should dance like no one is watching. ’Cuz they’re not. They’re looking at their phones.
• That the grammar and spelling police are always waiting to pounce.
• That I have to scroll down WAAY too far to find my birthdate.
• That there are literally thousands of women whom I’ve never met, waiting to stand me up on a moment’s notice!
• That I can diagnose my own afflictions.
• That there are actually real people on there who will not get all of my clever SpongeBob references.
• That it is not a great place for civil political discussion.
• There are a lot of people WAY crazier than me!
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2017
TRUTH OR BS:
• It took 1,500 men a total of 3 years to dig the Grand Canyon. [BS]
• They have square watermelons in Japan, because they stack better. [True]
• There’s a new Marvel superhero named ‘Duke Quark’. [BS]
• Niagara Falls was a gift from France. [BS]
• Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone. [True]
• A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a 4-foot-tall child inside. [True]
• The spire atop London’s Big Ben is actually a snooze button. [BS]
• In 1947 a spinoff charitable organization called ‘The Salvation Coast Guard’ failed to catch on. [BS]
• During your lifetime, you’ll eat the equivalent weight of about 6 elephants. [True]
• More people use blue toothbrushes than red ones. [True]
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is your best memory of high school?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I just made a New Year’s resolution to do things on time this year.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The average person has 12 of these in their home that they didn’t pay for. What is it?
Answer: Pens
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You cannot do all the good the world needs, but the world needs all the good you can do.
