Friday, July 26, 2019 – Edition: #6502

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Quentin Tarantino has revealed that he reached out to Tom Cruise about playing stuntman Cliff Booth before Brad Pitt got the role in “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”. Speaking on a podcast, Tarantino said: ”We talked about it. He’s a great guy, and we really hit it off. It could happen on something else.” He also pointed out that he was thrilled to land Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio for the movie, the first time they have ever teamed up together onscreen. “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” opens today in theatres.
(Tom always likes to do his own stunts – it would have been fitting for him to play a stuntman!)
-ContactMusic
★ Rutger Hauer — best known for his role opposite Harrison Ford in the 1982 film “Blade Runner” — passed away last Friday. He was 75. Hauer’s official website said that he died after “a very short illness.” at his home in the Netherlands and his funeral took place on Wednesday. In addition to his role in “Blade Runner,” Hauer, who excelled in “bad-guy” roles, appeared in films like, “Batman Begins,” “Sin City,” and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”
-TheBlast
★ Robin Williams’ son celebrated him in the most special way — by getting married on what would have been the funnyman’s 68th birthday. Williams’ youngest son, 27-year-old Cody Williams, got hitched to long-time girlfriend Maria Flores on Sunday, July 21. The wedding was held at the home of Robin’s ex-wife and the mother of two of his children, Marsha Garces Williams.
-TheBlast
★ Sylvester Stallone is said to be “furious” that he has such a small financial stake in the “Rocky” film franchise. Stallone has earned millions from his eight Rocky Balboa-linked films, including the recent “Creed” and “Creed II” spin-offs, but he’s still sore over the money he isn’t getting. While negotiating the contract for the original 1976 film, “Rocky”, which he wrote and starred in, he lost out on equity in the entire franchise, which would have made him a part-owner of all features in the series.
-Canoe

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Chris Hemsworth, the Jonas Brothers (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Laura Dern, Megan Rapinoe, Catherine Cohen, Raghav Mehrotra (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Christina Applegate, Kenneth Branagh, Rival Sons
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Tituss Burgess
• “The Talk” (CBS): Margaret Cho, Daphne Zuniga, guest co-host Bonnie Hunt
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Uzo Aduba, Jamie Bell
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Lady Gaga (R)
• “Orange is the New Black” (NETFLIX): Season 7 premiere

SATURDAY-
• “Rome in Love” (HALLMARK): An actress’s dreams come true when she lands the lead role in a remake of “Roman Holiday.”
• “Share” (HBO): A disturbing video leaked from a local high school throws a Long Island community into chaos and the national spotlight as it tries to unravel the story behind it.

SUNDAY-
• “The Great Food Truck Race” (FOOD): Season 10 finale
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): Maulers vs. Brawlers and Descendants 3 vs. American Housewife
• “Shark Trip: Eat Prey Chum” (DISCOVERY): Rob Riggle convinces celebrity friends Anthony Anderson, Adam DeVine, Joel McHale, and Damon Wayans Jr. to join him for the ultimate guys trip during which they will all swim with sharks.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Kanye West – has applied for exclusive ownership to the trademark “Sunday Service” for the marketing of clothing, dresses, footwear, headwear, jackets loungewear, scarves, shirts, socks and clothing tops. He had a merch booth at Coachella during his “Sunday Service” on Easter Sunday, where he sold hoodies for $165 and $225 a pop and socks for … $50!!!
• Cardi B – She and Offset will be releasing headphones in collaboration with MUZIK. She tweeted the announcement on Tuesday, asking: “what style would you guys like?”
• Elton John – His biopic “Rocketman” will be released as a digital download on Aug. 6, with Blu-ray and DVD releases following on Aug. 27. Both versions of the movie will come with 10 deleted and extended scenes, four extended musical sequences and sing-along tracks for 13 songs.
• George Michael – His former boyfriend is behind bars after allegedly causing major damage inside Michael’s former mansion. Fadi Fawaz was taken into custody in London after neighbors called police. When police arrived, he had gone inside, where he apparently went on a rampage.
• Led Zeppelin — bassist John Paul Jones has announced the first appearances for his latest project, “Sons of Chipotle”. The band will perform at the Pit in Tokyo on Sept. 3 and 5. Sons of Chipotle features the acclaimed Finnish cellist Anssi Karttunen, along with Jones on “piano and electronics.”
• Natalie Imbruglia — is pregnant with her first child at age 44. She posted: “For those of you who know me, this has been something I have wanted for a very long time. I’m blessed that this is possible with the help of IVF [in vitro fertilization] and a sperm donor.”
• Reba McEntire — is heading to the big screen – or her voice is, anyway. She’s been cast in the upcoming animated film, “Spies in Disguise” opposite Will Smith and Tom Holland. It’s unclear what role she’ll play in the animated movie. She’s appeared in several movies before, including “Tremors” and “The Little Rascals.”
• Loretta Lynn & Patsy Cline — The trailer for the untold story of the country music legends has been officially released. The biopic, titled “Patsy & Loretta”, will premiere this fall on “Lifetime” and will be centered on the country music icons helping each other succeed.
• Thomas Rhett – He and his wife Lauren are pregnant…again. And they’re expecting a girl…again. He wrote on Instagram that he “will now be paying for 3 weddings.” No word on a due date.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” (R-Rated, Comedy/Drama):  A faded television actor and his stunt double strive to achieve fame and success in the film industry during the final years of Hollywood’s Golden Age in 1969 Los Angeles. (Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie)
• “Skin” (R-Rated, Drama):  A destitute young man, raised by racist skinheads and notorious among white supremacists, turns his back on hatred and violence to transform his life, with the help of a black activist and the woman he loves. (Jamie Bell, Danielle Macdonald)
• “The Mountain” (Not Rated, Drama):  After losing his mother, a young man goes to work with a doctor specializing in lobotomies and therapies. (Tye Sheridan, Jeff Goldblum)
• “Mike Wallace Is Here” (Not Rated, Documentary):  For over half a century, 60 Minutes’ Mike Wallace went head-to-head with the world’s most influential figures. Relying exclusively on archival footage, the film interrogates the interrogator, tracking his storied career and troubled personal life. (Mike Wallace)

ALIEN CONCEPT:
A Florida insurance company is offering ‘alien abduction’ insurance. St. Lawrence Agency in Altamonte Springs will be happy to write you up a policy giving you limited or comprehensive alien abduction insurance for $19.95. Policyholders can also opt for a printed certificate suitable for framing for $24.95.
That will get you $10 million worth of coverage, plus outpatient psychiatric care, “sarcasm coverage” (whatever that is), and double identity coverage. But read the small print carefully. The policy states that the payments to you or your beneficiaries are $1.00 per year over 10 million years. Since opening in 1987, St. Lawrence has sold close to 6,000 policies, and paid at least two claims to policyholders, one of which submitted a Polaroid picture with “aliens” as proof. And yes, a specific policy has been made for the latest viral phenomenon, “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us”. The owner of the insurance company says that the “policy is activated if you go in and you don’t come out.”
(Can I get a policy to cover me if I go in and bring an alien out?)
-TheIntellectualist

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A piece of street art in the Russian city of Yekaterinburg was covered with asphalt just a few days after it was completed. The artwork – a giant black and red cross incorporating calligraphy quotes by an avantgarde artist, was painted by a small army of 20 volunteers, and took three days to complete. The last thing local residents expected was for a roadworks team to turn up unannounced with heavy machinery and, oblivious to its artistic value, proceed to pour asphalt on it until they were stopped when the local authorities were alerted. One Facebook user wrote after the “fantastically beautiful work” was “smeared with tar”: “What is happening now is a crime against art, culture, and the city.” Authorities blamed the incident on “miscommunication”. (Maybe some “street art” would get some road workers over to MY neighborhood. Where’s the chalk?)
➢ An Ohio-based circus says that a trailer thief was likely surprised to find out the contents of his pilfered container. The Cincinnati Circus Company said the black Homesteader Challenger trailer was stolen from the company’s private lot Saturday in Cincinnati. The trailer was filled with performance items including a bed of nails, a coffin and an electric chair, worth about $10,000. (Surveillance footage shows a man who looks suspiciously like Alice Cooper in the area at the time…)
➢ A Pennsylvania man showed a little too much of himself at a Bennington, Vermont shop, when he walked in completely naked and bought a cup of joe. The store’s owner says his 19-year-old daughter was running the register at the time. He praised her for staying calm throughout the man’s visit. Security footage shows the naked middle-aged man buying a coffee and hanging out to chat with the cashier, asking her to recommend a swimming destination, then strolling out of the store, saying, “All right, see you later.” The man’s identity and motivation have not been revealed. (But everything else about him has!)
-BBC, UPI, Global

DID YOU KNOW?
The Marine Mammal Rescue Centre in Vancouver is currently taking care of seals named “Steven Sealberg”, “Seal-ine Dion”, “Tuna Fey”, “Dwayne ‘The Rockfish’ Johnson”, and ‘the Royals’ — “Prince Herring” and “Meghan Mackerel”.
-QI

BS CHRONOMETER 07.26.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [76] (Sir) Mick Jagger, Dartford UK, classic rock singer (Rolling Stones-‘Start Me Up’, ‘Satisfaction’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1945 [74] Helen Mirren (Ilyena Lydia Mironoff), London UK, movie actress (“Trumbo”, “The Queen”)/TV actress (“Elizabeth I”, “Prime Suspect”)

1949 [70] Roger Taylor, Dersingham UK, classic rock drummer (Queen-‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, ‘We Will Rock You’)

1959 [60] Kevin Spacey (Fowler), South Orange NJ, TV actor (‘Frank Underwood’ on “House of Cards” 2013-17)/movie actor (“Baby Driver”, “The Usual Suspects”)

1964 [55] Sandra Bullock, Arlington VA, movie actress (“Speed”, “The Blind Side”, “Bird Box”)

1965 [54] Jeremy Piven, New York City NY, TV actor (“Entourage” 2004-2011, “Mr. Selfridge” 2013-16)

1967 [52] Jason Statham, Shirebrook, England, movie actor (“The Expendables”, “Transporter” films”, “Fast & Furious 6-8) COMING UP: “Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw”, 2019

1973 [46] Kate Beckinsale, London UK, movie actress (“Pearl Harbor”, “Underworld”)

1993 [26] Taylor Momsen, St. Louis MO, TV actress (“Gossip Girl” 2007-2012)/movie actress (“How The Grinch Stole Christmas”)/singer (“The Pretty Reckless”)

SATURDAY- Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (“Game of Thrones”) is 49; Maya Rudolph (“Saturday Night Live”) is 47; former MLB player Alex Rodriguez is 44; Jonathan Rhys Meyers (“The Tudors”) is 42; Taylor Schilling (“Orange Is the New Black”) is 35

SUNDAY- Scott Pelly (“CBS Evening News”) is 62; Lori Loughlin (“Full House”) is 55; Dana White (“UFC”) is 50; Rapper Soulja Boy is 29

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “All or Nothing Day”. This is it, folks – balls to the wall, give ’er all you’ve got, the time has arrived, take no prisoners, it’s now or never, bring your ‘A’ game, give 110% … and any other hackneyed self-help cliché you can think of. (Or just relax.)

• “Aunts & Uncles Day”, honoring a very special pair of relatives. Among other things, they may be …
✓ Someone you can talk to about things you can’t discuss with parents.
✓ Your backup caretaker when mom & dad went out, or were at work.
✓ Real characters at family get-togethers.
✓ Someone who has taken you to fun places and events.
✓ Someone whose house was a great place for a sleep-over, especially if you have cousins.
✓ The ones who’ve given you great gifts for special occasions.
✓ Sound counsel and advice.
✓ Someone who always had candy.

• “Coffee Milkshake Day”, celebrating the Summer cooler that’s also a pick-me-up.

• “Bagelfest Day”, this crunchy on the outside and chewy in the middle bread is very popular in the USA and Canada. Served with a variety of toppings as well as produced in a variety of flavors, bagel shops are a staple in many communities.

• “Collingwood Elvis Festival” through Sunday in Collingwood ON, which includes street dances, an Elvis parade, and swap sessions. It culminates with the ‘Elvis Tribute Artist Competition’.
NET: http://www.collingwoodelvisfestival.com

SATURDAY-
• “Bagpipe Appreciation Day”, celebrating the ancient musical instrument that’s viewed by some as an obnoxious, migraine-inducing tool of cacophonic destruction. (Good for funerals though)
Here is some pipin’ that we can get into:
NET: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbY8eNkaW4k
• “Korean War Veterans Armistice Day”, commemorating the 1953 negotiated cease-fire that ended the war on the Korean peninsula. During the 3 years of fierce struggle, over 600,000 Allied lives were lost.
• “Scotch Day”, celebrating the malt (or grain) whisky that was originally exclusive to Scotland. All Scotch must be aged in oak barrels for at least 3 years. The first written mention of Scotch whisky is in the Exchequer Rolls of Scotland from 1495.
• “Walk on Stilts Day”, celebrating the feat most often seen in parades and at the circus. Stilt-walking is an ancient art that only requires a pair of stout sticks and lots of practice. (And maybe some extra butt padding)

SUNDAY-
• “Milk Chocolate Day”, an excuse for chocoholics everywhere to chow down!
• “World Hepatitis Day”, to create awareness that 1-in-12 people worldwide is living with either chronic hepatitis B or C, far higher than the prevalence of HIV or any type of cancer.
• “Hamburger Day”, honoring the world’s favorite sandwich, whose origins can be traced back as far as the Middle Ages. These days, close to 6 billion burgers are served annually by restaurants. Hamburger meat from a single steer will make about 720 quarter-pound hamburger patties (or 360 double-burgers!)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [13] The buzz film “Little Miss Sunshine”, starring 9-year-old Abigail Breslin, Greg Kinnear, Alan Arkin, Toni Collette, and Steve Carell, opens in movie theaters

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2006 [13] Paul McCartney’s 1st-ever guitar is sold at an Abbey Road Studios auction for £330,000 (about a half-million dollars)

2015 [04] In a field near Cesena, Italy, 1000 musicians and singers play Foo Fighters ‘Learn to Fly’ simultaneously to encourage the band to play a show in their city for the first time in nearly 20 years. The next day, Dave Grohl posts a video, saying in Italian: “We are coming. I promise.”

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2018 [01] Facebook has the single worst day of any public company on the stock market – losing 19% or $119 billion in market value

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ With two forks and a charge, a pickle will emit light.
✓ The most money that can be lost in one trip around a Monopoly board is $26,040.
✓ The world’s smallest painting was painted onto a grain of corn.
✓ The are over 900 stone ring monuments in the British Isles. Stonehenge is just the most famous.
✓ A typo prevented hackers from stealing US $1 billion in 2016. They misspelled “foundation” as “fandation” in a wire transfer request, prompting bank authorities to investigate.
✓ The average person spends three years of his or her life on the toilet.
-WhattheFFacts, TotallyAwesomeUselessInformation

BAD DINNER PARTY ETIQUETTE:
• Bringing two bottles of wine: One for you and one for everyone else.
• Pitching your “great business opportunity” to everyone.
• Showing up drunk, insulting the décor, and taking their dog when you leave.
• Eating with the serving fork.
• Yelling “Who wants to play real-life Clue??”, then shooting the guy who’s sitting across from you.
• Not believing that it’s not butter.
• Bringing your big purse so you can take home leftovers.
• Not telling your host until you arrive that you are vegetarian, lactose and gluten-intolerant, and sort-of a picky eater besides.
• Picking your teeth and calling it “seconds”.
• (***Caution: ‘Dammit’***) “Dammit, Diane! This is NOT a key party!”
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS LEAST POPULAR NEW CAR OPTIONS:
• Rear window fogger.
• Passenger airbag in trunk.
• Drifter in the backseat who says, “Hey, your door is open.”
• Hydraulic roadkill scoop.
• Intermittent steering.
• Pre-filled ashtrays.
• Ceiling fan.
• 37 smelly circus clowns.
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2009

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could bring one character to life from your favorite book/movie/TV show, who would it be?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I love nature — in spite of what it did to me.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  Online daters who mention THIS as a hobby on their profile receive 21% more messages than those who don’t. What is it?
Answer:  Reading

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A good laugh and a long sleep are often the best cures.