The Bull Sheet

July 20 2017

Thursday, July 20, 2017 – Edition: #6017

Don’t You Just Love the Smell of BS in the Morning?

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Jessica Alba is expecting baby No. 3. She made the announcement in a picture on Instagram of herself and her two daughters. Her eldest daughter is holding up a balloon in the shape of a 1, her second has a ‘2′ balloon and Alba is holding a ‘3′ balloon with her hand on her stomach.  In the  caption, she wrote that she and her husband, producer Cash Warren, “are officially going to be outnumbered.” #babyonboard.
(I’m no expert, but I had it figured out with just the balloons!)
-CTV
★ Also expecting: Mindy Kaling. The 38-year-old star of ‘The Mindy Project’ has previously been candid about eventual motherhood, writing in her 2015 book ‘Why Not Me?’ that she worries about things like never having a husband and “all my female acquaintances will,” and “What if my kids are really young when I die because I waited too long to have them?”  According to sources, the pregnancy is a surprise to Kaling.
(Good timing, though, with the ‘The Mindy Project’ set to end after it’s upcoming 6th season…)
-EW
★ ‘1984’ made Jennifer Lawrence sick.  Literally.  Lawrence threw up in the lobby of the Hudson Theatre during a performance of Olivia Wilde’s Broadway show.  The story is that the ‘Hunger Games’ actress contracted a stomach flu bug from her nephews and is now ”really sick”. Midway through the show, Lawrence bolted from her seat and headed for the back of the building.
-ContactMusic
★ Apparently Kermit the Frog was fired for “unacceptable business conduct”.  Steve Whitmire, the longtime voice of Kermit the Frog, was let go last week, and after an interview in which he claimed that he had been fired for being too outspoken in expressing how the Kermit character should be portrayed, The Muppets Studio fired back with a release which didn’t detail the nature of Whitmire’s “repeated unacceptable business conduct,” but it did mention that it spanned “a period of many years,” adding that “he consistently failed to address” his employers’ feedback.
(This sounds like it’s getting nasty…but that’s none of my business.)
-Jam.Canoe
★ ‘Pretty Little Liars’ star Troian Bellisario says her battle with anorexia ”almost killed” her. She says that there was one point in her life when she was eating just 300 calories a day.  While she is now ten years in recovery, she admits it ”still finds insidious ways to thwart me to this day”.
-ContactMusic
★ Billy Crystal appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week, and the visit was long overdue. Crystal was scheduled to drop by the set last month, but had to cancel after suffering what the star called the “weirdest injury ever.” Crystal says that he was dozing off in a chair when he suddenly experienced a “violent” sneeze.  Crystal fell back asleep, but woke up about two hours later because he couldn’t breathe. It turns out he had torn a rib muscle.
-E!

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): T.J. Miller, Run the Jewels
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Charlize Theron, Michael Phelps, Julie Klam, SZA
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ricky Gervais, Abby Elliott, X Ambassadors, Matt Johnson
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ewan McGregor, Billy Crudup, Harry Styles ( R )
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Abigail Spencer, Partybaby, Asia Kate Dillon ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): Issa Rae
• “@Midnight with Chris Hardwick” (Comedy): Kate Micucci, Justin Martindale
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): From Comic-Con 2017
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Issa Rae, Gemma Hoskins & Abbie Schaub
• “The Talk” (CBS): Guest co-host Regina Hall
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Charlize Theron, Cara Delevingne, Andrew Zimmern
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Katy Perry ( R )
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Naughty by Nature, Abby Elliott
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Tim Daly, Sarah McLachlan ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): Simple steps to take cooking skills to the next level ( R )
• “Boy Band” (ABC): “Blast From the Past” After opening the show with a Billy Joel song, the contestants split into three groups to perform.
• “Battle of the Network Stars” (ABC): “Primetime Soaps vs. ABC Teens” Ian Ziering; Josh Henderson; Gabrielle Carteris; Donna Mills; Mischa Barton; Olivia d’Abo
• “Big Brother” (CBS): A house guest is evicted; the head of household competition

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Justin Bieber – surprised young patients at Children’s Hospital of Orange County, California when he dropped in to say hello and share well wishes with fans.
• Drake – a.k.a. Woodbridge Papi – is still raking in the residual cheques from his time on TV’s ‘Degrassi: The Next Generation’. He posted a royalty cheque for $8.25 to his Instagram page with the caption, “Degrassi money still coming in don’t sleeeeeeeep.” (Yup. $8.25.  Canadian.)
• Lorde – was stuck on a subway train for four hours. She recalled how she and her fellow New York City travellers were trapped in the confined train but luckily she managed to stay off the radar thanks to some ”sweet” people who recognized her but didn’t blab about who she was.
(Captive audience?)
• Mariah Carey – her life is set to become a fictionalized TV drama.  The currently untitled project, with Carey set to serve as an executive producer, will loosely follow her life story, but will be set in 1968.  (Her whole life has already been a drama!)
• Brian Setzer – The Brian Setzer Orchestra have announced the details for this year’s ‘Christmas Rocks! Tour’ in November and December.  This will be 14th year of the tour.
• Britney Spears – has just released her 22nd(!!) fragrance, ‘V-I-P Private Show’.  Not to be confused with last year’s ‘Private Show.’
• Ed Sheeran – his disappearance from Twitter appears to be short-lived. Sheeran’s account was back online hours after it suddenly vanished. All of his tweets since April 2015 have been removed, and his more than 19 million followers have been reduced to a few thousand. (Although by now, that is probably back up into the millions)
• Ed Sheeran – his album ‘÷’ (Divide) was the top selling album in Canada at the half-way point of the year (June 30), with 742,000 copies sold so far in 2017.  Kendrick Lamar’s ‘DAMN’ comes in at #1 when equivalent album units are taken into consideration (1.77 million)  Equivalent album units are comprised of traditional album sales, track equivalent albums and streaming equivalent albums.
• Joe Walsh – The Eagles guitarist has called on some of his all-star friends to help aid veterans at the kick off event for his very first VetsAid benefit concert on Sept 30.  Walsh has recruited Zac Brown Band, Gary Clark Jr. and Keith Urban to perform at the special event in Fairfax, Virginia
• Mark Chestnutt – ‘Mark Chesnutt Hot Sauce’ is available for a limited time on his website.  His newest single ‘Hot’ is a clever tie-in.
• Dylan Scott – has scored his very first No. 1 hit with ‘My Girl’, a song he wrote about his wife. (He’d BETTER have!)
• Kenny Rogers – will celebrate his upcoming retirement with thousands of his fans, and several of his famous friends. ‘All in for the Gambler: Kenny Rogers’ Farewell Concert Celebration’, will be held on Oct. 25, at Nashville’s Bridgestone Arena. Little Big Town, Alison Krauss, Dolly Parton, Linda Davis and Jamey Johnson, along with Broadway star Idina Menzel, Elle King and the Flaming Lips will perform, with more are expected to be added.

THE SKINNY ON THE STINKY:
The biggest misconceptions about cologne and perfume…here are the myths and the mythbusters:
✓ Fragrance should be stored in the bathroom:  Heat and moisture can cause the scent oils to break down faster, spoiling the fragrance’s smell. (Which in some cases is a good thing…)
✓ How a fragrance smells on a piece of paper is the same as how it smells on skin:  It’s impossible to tell by sniffing a piece of paper how a fragrance will smell when mixed on your skin. A fragrance can also smell slightly differently on different people’s skin.
✓ You should apply it by spraying in a cloud and walking through it:  Apply to naturally warmer body areas like your neck and chest.  This will allow the scent to dissipate evenly throughout the day. Cardinal rule: Don’t overdo it.  (Did you hear that, person beside me on the subway???)
✓ Cologne is for men.  Perfume is for women:  In fact, the terms ‘cologne’ and ‘perfume’ only reference how much fragrance oil is in the mix. (Mind. Blown.)
✓ You should rub fragrance into the skin:  This just breaks down the oils and reduces the longevity of the scent.
✓ All fragrances are the same strength:  The strength of the fragrance is directly related to how much fragrance oil is used in the manufacturing process.  (Even I knew that!)
✓ Fragrances smell the same from the time you apply them to when they wear off:  Many fragrances are ‘non-linear’ and progress through different notes throughout the day.
✓ The more expensive, the better:  Not always.  Sometimes you are paying for an expensive name when cheaper ones will actually wear better. (But not the ones from the dollar store!)
Here is the cardinal rule when it comes to applying fragrance: “Cologne should be discovered, not announced.”
(See today’s BS Music Notes….Britney Spears)
-Business Insider

WORLD DOMINATION: THE NEXT STEP:
Remember when Facebook had it’s own in-app messaging system?  Then they forced you to get a separate app to message your friends.  Now comes the payoff.  For them, not you. You will soon start to see advertisements within the Facebook Messenger app.  They have been testing it in Australia and Thailand.  And they must like what they see, because they say the plan is to roll it out globally by the end of the year.  This will open up a nice new revenue stream for the company when you consider that Facebook Messenger has more than 1.2 billion monthly active users.  The ‘targeted’ ads will follow the same basic model that exists on Facebook and Instagram.
(Great. Now I have to avoid ads while I’m avoiding messages!)
(How many different places can they show me ads for single Russian ladies!)
-UberGizmo

BUT DOES IT COME IN A BUCKET?
I’m not sure if you heard about it, but in Asia earlier this year, KFC launched what might be the secret weapon to put all other fast-food places to shame.  The Chizza:  A fried chicken and pizza hybrid that is now available for purchase in Singapore.  The heart-shaped(!) Chizza is “baked to perfection” and features “100% chicken fillet, marinated, perfectly seasoned and cooked to a glorious gold, then layered with delicious pizza toppings such as pizza sauce, chicken, ham, pineapple chunks, mozzarella, and topped with signature KFC cheese sauce.”  It is advertised as “All Chicken. No Crust.”  Although it sorta looks like a pizza and has the appropriate toppings, remember  this is all on a chicken base with what looks like traditional KFC breading around the edge.  Further investigation reveals that KFC has made no mention of making it available elsewhere.  For shame.
(The Colonel BAKED something??)
(I thought regular pizza was the perfect food.  Until now.)
(Must go. To Singapore.)
(Just in case you thought your regular pizza didn’t have enough salt, calories and cholesterol…)
-TheIndependent

CYBER-THREAT:
After the ‘Wanna Cry’ ransomeware attack in May caused an estimated $8billion in damage to various computer systems and the companies that were affected, experts from Lloyd’s of London and the risk-modeling company Cyence got together to see if they could calculate the amount of financial damage a successful large-scale global cyber-attack would cause.  The figure they came up with?  About $53 billion.  And that’s a low-end figure.  To put it in perspective, the $53billion figure is approximately the same as the cost of clean-up and repair after Superstorm Sandy in 2012.  And if a major cyber-attack included a successful hacking of a cloud-server (whatever that is…)?  Damages could go as high as $121billion.
(Plus the price of gas will go up…just because they can…)
(I’m backing up my backups as I speak!)
-VentureBeat

BS CHRONOMETER 07.20.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [70] Carlos Santana, Autlan de Navarro, Mexico, guitarist/pop-rock musician (“Smooth (w/Rob Thomas)”, “Black Magic Woman”)

1966 [51] Stone Gossard, Seattle WA, rock guitarist (Pearl Jam-“Jeremy”, “Last Kiss”)

1969 [48] Josh Holloway, San Jose, CA, TV actor (“Sawyer” on “Lost” 2004-2010, “Will Bowman” on “Colony” 2016-2017)

1971 [46] Sandra Oh, Nepean ON, TV actress (“Grey’s Anatomy” 2005-14)/movie actress (“Under the Tuscan Sun”, “Sideways”)

1980 [37] Gisele Bundchen, Três de Maio, Brazil, among the highest-paid models in the world since 2004/wed to NFL quarterback Tom Brady (New England Patriots) since 2009

1980 [37] Mike Kennerty, Stillwater OK, rock guitarist (All-American Rejects-“Gives You Hell”, “Dirty Little Secret”)

1988 [29] Julianne Hough, Sandy UT, movie actress (“Rock of Ages”, “Footloose”)/country singer (“That Song In My Head”)/TV personality (“Dancing With the Stars”)/married ex-NHL player Brooks Laich July 7, 2017

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Chess Day”, an annual observance since 1966 honoring the game that generates challenge, intellectual stimulation, and enjoyment for people of all ages.  There are estimated to be 605 million regular chess players around the world.  A surprisingly stable 70% of the adult population has played chess at some point during their lives. (Except they play on their tablet now…)

• “Lollipop Day”, celebrating the 1908 invention of the famous candy on a stick. Pieces of hard candy were put on the ends of pencils for kids to nibble much earlier than that, but the treat had no name. So here’s to lollipops!

• “Moon Day”, the anniversary of the 1st lunar landing in 1969. Apollo 11 astronaut Neil Armstrong became the first to walk on the Moon as nearly 700 million TV viewers tuned in. Edwin ‘Buzz’ Aldrin joined him later, while Michael Collins remained orbiting above. A few things you likely didn’t know about the lunar landing … NET: http://tinyurl.com/l5p7kb
Celebrate how you want, but please don’t do the obvious!

• “Ugly Truck Day”. Sure a brand new, shiny truck with all the gadgets working is a great thing, but an old ugly truck is something to cherish with pride! Or maybe that’s just a guy thing?

• “Nap Day”, grab a chaise lounge out in the yard, spread a blanket at the beach, string a hammock between two trees or curl up on your bed under a ceiling fan with the air conditioner cranked.

AND REMEMBER…
[Fri] Legal Drinking Age Day
[Fri] Junk Food Day
[Fri] Tug-Of-War Tournament Day
[Sat] Hammock Day
[Sat] Day of the Cowboy
[Sat] Lion’s Share Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2012 [05] ‘Batman’ sequel “The Dark Knight Rises” opens in movie theaters and eventually garners over $1 billion in worldwide box office (#19 all-time)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2011 [06] Pictures of The Beatles first US concert in Washington DC (February 11, 1964) taken by a then 18-year-old Mike Mitchell, sell at Christie’s auction house for just shy of $362,000

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2005 [12] Canada becomes the 4th country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage (after the Netherlands, Belgium, and Spain)

2015 [02] USA and Cuba resume full diplomatic relations after 5 decades

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2006 [11] German student Torsten Lauschmann claims to have organized a record 600 million people in the Western Hemisphere to jump simultaneously on “World Jump Day” in order to reset the Earth’s orbit and fix global warming (turns out to be a hoax ‘art installation’)

2014 [03] Northern Irish golfer Rory McIlroy wins the British Open, making history with his 3rd major championship … at age 25

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
• The Hundred Years War lasted 116 years.
• The Thirty Years War lasted thirty years – of course.
• Catgut comes from sheep and horses.
• The purple finch is crimson in color.
• The Canary Islands are named after dogs.  Latin name: Insularia Canaria – Island of the Dogs
-DidYouKnow

WHY HOT DOGS ARE BETTER THAN DOG DOGS:
✓ You don’t have to take a hot dog for a walk twice a day.
✓ …Or pick up its poop.
✓ Hot dogs don’t freak if you smother them with ketchup.
✓ A hot dog will never eat your favorite shoes.
✓ You can’t buy a dog dog on the street for 3 bucks on your way to the ball game.
✓ A hot dog never swallows something suspect in the park that requires a costly trip to the vet.
✓ A hot dog won’t come in from the rain and jump straight onto your bed.
✓ A dog dog may fill the love void in your life but it won’t fill your 3 am rumbly-tummy.
✓ You never have to get your childhood hot dog ‘put down’ and be traumatized for life.
– Adapted from Metro.co.uk

BS RANDOM JOKE:
No one can tell if I’m embarrassed by getting a sunburn on my face.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Bringing your kids to work during school holidays … good idea or bad?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to a survey, most people have owned 25 of THESE by the time they turn 35. What?
Answer: Pairs of Sunglasses.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Dreams don’t work unless you do.

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