Monday, July 31, 2017 Edition: #6024
The BS Press!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There will be no “BS” edition for Monday Aug 7 to recognize the local holiday. All accounts will be credited for the missed service day.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Jennifer Aniston is plotting her return to the small screen. She and Reese Witherspoon are attached to star in an untitled series exploring TV morning shows and the New York media scene. The project, from HBO alum Michael Ellenberg, will be offered to premium cable networks and streaming services over the next few weeks. Given the starspower, it is expected to draw significant interest from multiple bidders. Aniston and Witherspoon, who memorably guest starred as Aniston’s younger sister on ‘Friends’, have remained friends over the years.
–HollywoodReporter
★ The Emoji Movie no longer has a zero percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Betsy Bozdech, a writer for Common Sense Media, is the first film critic to give the animated movie a positive review. She writes that it “isn’t bad, but it isn’t great, either. It’s ‘meh.’” She also writes that young viewers are also sure to catch the movie’s positive messages about teamwork, friendship, and being yourself.”
(‘Meh’. Not exactly a hearty recommendation!)
-EW
★ Shania Twain has reportedly signed on to play John Travolta’s leading lady in a new racing drama, titled ‘Trading Paint’. The movie is set for release next summer.
-TorontoSun
★ Ireland Baldwin can’t believe how ”beautiful” her mother is. The 21-year-old model took to social media on Saturday to gush about her amazing mother Kim Basinger. That comes after Ireland branded her father Alec a ”big old ham” as she poked fun at the infamous voicemail he left when she was a child.
(Yes, a big old ‘ham’….calling his daughter a “pig…”)
-ContactMusic
★ Jim Carrey helped Trevor Noah come to terms with his depression. The ‘Daily Show’ host revealed that he never even knew he suffered from the mental illness until he heard his comedic hero discussing his own struggles and it helped him to understand his conflicted feelings.
-ContactMusic
★ The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce has announced that Jeffrey Tambor will be honored with the 2,617th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on August 8.
-WalkofFame
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Channing Tatum, Elisabeth Moss, the Killers
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Idris Elba, Ali Wentworth, Tame Impala
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Matthew McConaughey, Vanessa Bayer
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Molly Shannon, Matthew Rhys, Bleachers
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Chris Bosh, Mark Duplass, Jay Duplass
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Carrie Coon, Deap Vally, Bassem Youssef ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): Kathryn Bigelow
• “@Midnight with Chris Hardwick” (Comedy): Chris D’Elia, Brian Posehn
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Will Arnett, Rory Scovel, Luis Fonsi ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Molly Shannon, Shannon Beador
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Colin Jost, Michael Che, Adam Glassman
• “The Talk” (CBS): Emma Bunton, guest co-host Laura Benanti, Big Boy
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Matthew McConaughey, James Van Der Beek, Lawrence Zarian, guest co-host Busy Philipps
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jesse Tyler Ferguson, James Corden, Panic! at the Disco ( R )
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Christina Milian ( R )
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Jerry O’Connell, Anne Burrell, the Olate Dogs, Erinn Hayes ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): RuPaul ( R )
• “The Bachelorette” (ABC): “The Men Tell All” Rejected bachelors return to tell their sides of the story and confront one another and Rachel.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX): “Academy Week No. 3″ The best rise to the top as “The Academy” comes to an end after a challenging callbacks round.
• “American Ninja Warrior” (NBC): “San Antonio City Finals” Competitors face the Salmon Ladder, Hourglass Drop, Elevator Climb and new obstacle Spinball Wizard.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Sheryl Crow – has written a song about Kid Rock’s senate bid. It’s called ‘Dude, I’m Still Alive’. Crow tweeted the video and lyrics.
• Gregg Allman – his posthumous ‘Southern Blood’ solo album has been set for release on September 8th. The first single, ‘My Only True Friend’ is said to feel like ‘a warning’ from the late rocker, who died in May of 2017.
• Alice Cooper – doesn’t think he’s written his ”best song” yet. He says he wants to continue being creative and striving to do better with every record.
• Mick Jagger – released two new solo songs on Thursday. “England Lost” and “Gotta Get a Grip” were written as a reaction to the “anxiety [and] unknowability of the changing political situation”.
• The Killers – have revealed that they have held secret jam sessions with Prince Harry for over a decade. Drummer Ronnie Vannucci Jr. says the Prince just showed up at a show one time about 10 years ago, and since, “There’s been a lot of long nights.”
• Justin Bieber – contrary to some speculation, he is not quitting music, according to sources. He has indicated that his faith won’t stop him from being an artist and he will re-enter a recording studio at some point.
• Zayn Malik – says he isn’t a very outgoing person and says it has been a year since he has ”properly shown his face” in public. He previously revealed his struggles with anxiety, which he says have become ”much more manageable”.
• Thomas Rhett – says his adopted daughter ‘Willa’, has adapted “way better than we ever thought she would.” Rhett and his wife Lauren adopted Willa from Uganda. He says that he has done some adapting as well. Sometimes he walks offstage and immediately changes a dirty diaper.
• Carly Pearce – says she wrote her debut single ‘Every Little Thing’ about a guy who broke her heart. She says she wrote it in about 45 minutes, had a cry, and “finally shut the door on that situation.”
ZERO CHANGE?
Coca-Cola announced last week that the popular diet soft drink ‘Coke Zero’ will be ‘upgraded’. The statement from the company said that “Coca-Cola Zero Sugar is the new and improved Coke Zero.” What is the difference? Well, the label, for one. Coke Zero Sugar will come in a primarily red container with black accenting at the top. Both Coke Zero and Coke Zero Sugar are sugarless with artificial sweeteners. Coke Zero Sugar does taste different from Coke Zero and is already a strong seller in Europe, the Middle East and Latin America.
When the announcement was made, predictably, the internet went wild with dissenters.
Some of the best Tweets:
■ NO NO NOOOOO!! Was life not enough of a pre-apocalyptic carpet ride before this?
■ Coke Zero, please don’t leave me. I’ll change if I have to, just please don’t leave me…I love you.
■ This would be like replacing Daniel Baldwin with Stephen Baldwin.
■ Doesn’t replacing Coke Zero with Coke Zero Sugar imply that the new drink is Coke Zero with sugar added?
On the plus side, the recipes for Coca-Cola Cherry Zero and Coca-Cola Vanilla Zero will remain the same.
(Well, we know the NAME isn’t very original. Anyone familiar with Pepsi Zero Sugar?)
(Considering Coca-Cola’s track record with “new and improved” flavors, I had the same reaction!)
(I don’t care WHAT they call it. I’ll still call it ‘mix’.)
-Forbes, Twitter, Diply
9 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER FLUSH DOWN THE TOILET:
✓ Dental Floss – not biodegradable, and can easily get tangled and wrap itself around pipes, thus contributing to a clog. (No fear my kids doing that…)
✓ Grease, oil, fat and food – grease goes down like a liquid, but it will eventually cool, then build up on the sides of pipes. Over time, that pipe opening will get smaller and smaller until nothing passes through it anymore. (Food? When you think about it, doesn’t ALL food eventually get flushed?)
✓ Band-aids – they’re made from plastic and are not biodegradable (who DOES that?)
✓ Disposable wipes (and paper towels) – the fibres that make up the disposable wipe are considerably thicker than toilet paper. Even three-ply paper breaks down very easily in water, but the wipes won’t break down. The same principles apply for paper towels. (When they say ‘disposable, they mean in the garbage!)
✓ Tampons and maxi pads – These products are designed to be absorbent and they’ll expand past the point of where they can pass through the pipes. (But no guy will ever tell you that’s what he fished out of the pipes!)
✓ Condoms – they do not biodegrade. The other issue is that they can fill with water and get stuck in the pipes. (Be like me and leave it in your wallet….forever.)
✓ Hair – Not only can it clog drains, but it can also trap other things, leading to unpleasant odours and slow drains. (And if you are losing enough hair to clog a toilet, maybe seek medical attention!)
✓ Medications – The sewer system isn’t equipped to weed out all toxins. If you’re throwing prescription medication down the toilet, they can make their way into the water that flows out of kitchen faucets. (Flushing is also probably not how the doctor told you to take your medicine!)
✓ Kitty litter – it will expand with water and potentially clog pipes. In addition, while what the cat excretes isn’t toxic, there are toxic ingredients in the kitty litter that shouldn’t be introduced to the water system.
What CAN you flush? Three things: Number one, number two, and toilet paper.
(Also, don’t be like me and try to flush your phone.)
-Global
THE DOG READ MY HOMEWORK:
It’s almost as though a child won one of those ‘Principal for a Day’ contests, and managed to retain power…A Florida school district has banned homework! Marion County School District has announced that starting this Fall, there will be no daily homework assignments in elementary schools. Instead, students will be asked to simply read for 20 minutes each night. Students will be allowed to choose their own reading material, and teachers, libraries and volunteers will provide guidance. Although daily homework won’t be part of the curriculum, teachers will still occasionally assign things like research papers or science projects. Apparently, the quality of completed homework had grown so poor that it was decided that simply having kids read would be a better alternative. A 2006 study found that homework had more of a positive impact on students in grades seven through 12 than it did for students in kindergarten through sixth grade.
(Hear that? It’s the sound of ten-thousand parents saying “YES!!”)
(And I’m sure all schoolchildren will follow through and read every single evening. For the first week.)
(Actually if you read the news, you probably know that Floridians need all the educational opportunities they can get!)
-HuffingtonPost
THE BEGINNING OF THE END?
Men’s sperm counts have fallen by almost 60% since the 1970s, and researchers say that it could point to a coming fertility crisis. Experts say the “shocking” decline should be treated as an “urgent wake-up call,” with chemicals, pesticides, stress, and obesity among the factors linked to the changes. In fact, the people who are paid to know these things say that humans could one day become extinct if sperm counts in Western countries continue to fall at the current rates. Because of the fact that the decline in Western countries far outpaced anywhere else in the world, researchers say that “strongly suggests” that chemicals are among the main causes. Lower sperm count is linked to higher death rates, as well as to increased chances of suffering other diseases. The lead author of the study, Dr Hagai Levine said: “If we will not change the ways that we are living and the environment and the chemicals that we are exposed to, I am very worried about what will happen in the future.” More than 15 per cent of young men have sperm counts low enough to impair fertility, he said – a figure which is expected to worsen.
(Chemicals? I blame tighty whities!)
(It’s too bad we can’t limit this to those who shouldn’t be reproducing anyway…)
-TheTelegraph
BS CHRONOMETER 07.31.17
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1958 [59] Mark Cuban, Entrepreneur, Pittsburgh, PA (Tycoon and Dallas Mavericks owner who sold Broadcast.com to Yahoo for $5.9 Billion in 1999)
1962 [55] Wesley Snipes, Orlando FL, once incarcerated tax evader/movie actor (“White Men Can’t Jump” “The Expendables 3″, “Blade” films)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1998)
1965 [52] JK (Joanne) Rowling, Yate UK, mega-selling author (“Cormoran Strike” novels, “Harry Potter” books)
1978 [39] Zac Brown, Cumming GA, country singer (Zac Brown Band-“Knee Deep”, “Chicken Fried”)
1978 [39] Will Champion, Southampton UK, rock drummer (Coldplay-“Paradise”, “Viva La Vida”)
1979 [38] BJ (Benjamin Joseph) Novak, Newton MA, TV actor (“The Office” 2005-13)/movie actor (“Inglourious Basterds”)/author (“One More Thing: Stories & Other Stories”)
1998 [19] Rico Rodriguez, College Station TX, TV actor (‘Manny Delgado’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Mutts Day”, honoring all dogs of mixed breeds. Purebred owners often view them as lesser in many ways but mutt owners know better!
• “Uncommon Instruments Awareness Day”, an annual celebration of strange musical instruments such as the bubble organ, fluba, and dulcimer. Check other oddities here …
NET: http://www.oddee.com/item_98118.aspx
• “Cotton Candy Day”, celebrating the sweet, sugary taste-treat that melts in your mouth. It was invented in 1897 as ‘Fairy Floss’, then renamed in 1920. In Greece, Israel, and India it is often referred to as ‘Old Woman’s Hair’. Yuck.
• “Raspberry Cake Day”, a whole day dedicated to enjoying raspberries in cake format!
• “World Ranger Day”, initiated by the 54 member associations of the International Ranger Federation to celebrate the work rangers do to protect the world’s natural & cultural treasures.
NET: http://internationalrangers.org/world-ranger-day
AND REMEMBER…
[Tues] Homemade Pie Day
[Tues] Spiderman Day
[Wed] Dinosaurs Day
[Wed] Ice Cream Sandwich Day
This Week Is…National Psychic Week
This Month Is…Family Fun Month
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1995 [22] Walt Disney Co acquires ABC-TV in a $19-billion deal
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2014 [03] US president Barack Obama authorizes 1st air strikes against Islamic State
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2012 [05] US swimmer Michael Phelps breaks the record for ‘Greatest Number of Medals Won at the Olympics’ by increasing his total to 22. (Retired from competition with 28)
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
• People who wake up early are more likely to lie throughout the day.
• You need to burn 500 calories extra per day to lose 1 lb per week.
• NASA accidentally taped over the moon landing. There are no known original recordings of the event.
• Harry Potter was originally rejected by 12 different book publishers.
• Lack of sleep causes the brain to remember events incorrectly.
• The most expensive pizza in the world costs $12,000 and takes 72 hours to make.
-WhattheFFacts
BS SIGNS IT’S MONDAY:
• Yesterday was Tuesday and tomorrow is Sunday… at least that is what you’re thinking.
• You’ve already planned several thousand ways to avoid actually doing work until Friday.
• The President looks hungover as he issues his weekly denial to the nation.
• Another knee-slapping cartoon of that darn Garfield saying “I hate Monday!”
• In your current opinion five days is a long time.
• You’re happy to go to work in order to get some rest.
• You break down into a sobbing mess on the floor because there was no coffee left in the pot when you got to work.
• You are half way to work before you realize you have been listening to “Rev. Carl’s Bible Hour” on your car radio.
• The solid rain for the past two days has stopped, leaving a beautiful, sunny day.
-RantNRoll
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the best and worst thing about getting older?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven’t got.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: When the temperatures get really hot outside, people are twice as likely to do THIS at night. What is it?
Answer: Order take out.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
One day or day one. You decide.
