Wednesday, July 4, 2018 – Edition: #6247

Can You Believe This Sheet?

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Roseanne Barr’s sitcom may have been cancelled, but she claims she’s got plenty of TV offers to make up for the loss. According to her, “Inside every bad thing is a good thing waiting to happen and I feel very excited because I’ve already been offered so many things and I almost already accepted one really good offer to go back on TV and I might do it.” She has yet give any details on what the offers are or when she might return to TV.
-MSN
★ “NCIS: Los Angeles” star Linda Hunt was hospitalized Monday after a serious car wreck in Hollywood. She was driving a black BMW SUV and was attempting attempted a left turn when the collision with two other vehicles occurred. Hunt, who is 73, was visibly shaken, and witnesses escorted her to a lawn chair on the sidewalk. Paramedics evaluated her and determined she needed to be taken to the hospital.  A witness said that the other drivers suffered only minor injuries.
-TMZ
★ Well, that was quick! LeBron James is no longer on the front page of the Cleveland Cavaliers online team shop — and they’re already slashing prices on his jerseys. Now that LeBron’s heading West … the NBA’s #2 selling jersey (behind Steph Curry) has been discounted from $110 to $66. Meanwhile, on the Lakers team store — they’re selling LeBron front and center. An authentic #23 Lakers jersey will cost you $220.
-TMZ
★ Harvey Weinstein is now facing a lifetime of imprisonment after the Manhattan District Attorney announced a slew of additional charges against the disgraced producer. The D.A. just announced Weinstein was charged with an additional count for an alleged forcible sexual act against a woman in 2006 and two other counts of predatory sexual assault. The D.A. says the additional charges carry a “minimum sentence of 10 years and a maximum sentence of life imprisonment.”
-TheBlast
★One of the Nike Mag sneakers worn by Michael J. Fox in the 1989 classic “Back to the Future: Part II” has sold for over $92,000 on eBay. The shoe, which was in pretty bad shape and somewhat disintegrating, was sold to benefit the Michael J. Fox Foundation. A small number of fans got their hands on some working Nike Mag shoes with power laces in 2016. Only 89 pairs were made. At the time, it was Fox who received the first pair of working shoes. In the film, the power lace effect was pure movie magic.
-HollywoodReporter

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Billy Bob Thornton, Hannibal Buress, Aloe Blacc ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Tina Fey, Paul Bettany, Courtney Barnett ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Anthony Scaramucci, Michael Avenatti, Chromeo featuring DRAM ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Louie Anderson, Cold War Kids ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Reba McEntire, Lucy Hale, Glenn Howerton, Kelsea Ballerini ( R )
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Chris Pratt, Scarlett Johansson, Chris Hemsworth, Anthony Mackie, Danai Gurira ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kobe Bryant ( R )
• “The Talk” (CBS): Alfre Woodard, Adam Perry Lang, guest co-host Beth Behrs
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Chantel Jeffries, La La Anthony, Coyote Peterson, Dr. Evan Antin
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Anna Faris, John Legend, DJ Pauly D ( R )
• “A Capitol Fourth” (PBS): America’s Independence Day celebration live from the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol, with the “greatest display of fireworks in the nation”. Hosted by John Stamos. Performances by Jimmy Buffet, The Beach Boys, The Temptations, Luke Combs, Lauren Alaina and more.
• “Fourth of July at the White House Presented by Hallmark Channel” (HALLMARK): Sara Evans, and an array of musical performers accompany a spectacular fireworks show saluting the American spirit.
• “Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular” (NBC): The annual celebration features America’s largest fireworks display and musical performances by Kelly Clarkson, American Authors, Ricky Martin, Blake Shelton, Keith Urban and more. Hosted by Matt Iseman

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyonce and Jay-Z – Were performing at the National Stadium in Poland when their flying stage stopped working. Workers rushed over and quickly devised a plan to get Bey down with a ladder, but she was apparently reluctant to climb down. With some encouragement from the crowd, she first busted out a dance move and then decided to use the ladder.
• Britney Spears – is set to return to Las Vegas. She is reportedly in talks to return to the Strip to perform at The Park Theater at The Monte Carlo in 2019. She’ll reportedly make $500,000 per show, with a contract for two years to start.
• Robbie Williams – Thinks he might have Asperger syndrome or be on the autism spectrum. Quote: “There’s something missing in me, I have big blind spots…It’s quite hard work being in my head.” He recently courted controversy when he flicked his middle finger to cameras during the live broadcast of his opening ceremony performance at the 2018 FIFA World Cup in Russia. Williams says that he can’t trust himself and has no idea what he’s going to do at any given time.
• Bay City Rollers – Bassist Alan Longmuir has died at the age of 70. He was part of the Scottish glam band’s classic mid-‘70s lineup and later took part in several reunions until the mid ‘10s. He reportedly contracted an illness while on vacation in Mexico. (***See ‘Wack Facts’, below***)
• KISS – Ken Kelly, the creator of the iconic KISS album covers “Destroyer” and “Love Gun”, received a huge surprise at the recent Rock ‘N’ Con expo in London Ontario. A fan informed him that he had in his possession a KISS gold record award in Kelly’s name, for their record “Destroyer”. When Kelly replied that he’d never received the award and wasn’t aware it existed, the fan, Greg Ortbach, who had purchased it from an online auction, made arrangements to present it to the artist…42 years after the album was released.
• Meat Loaf – is going on tour, but he won’t be singing. The 70 year-old will hand vocal duties to Caleb Johnson, the 2014 winner of “American Idol” for the ‘Back Out of Hell’ tour. Due to vocal and health issues, Loaf’s role will be restricted to telling anecdotes about the songs and his career. Dates will reportedly be announced next week.
• Miranda Lambert – Competed in the Feathered Horse Summer Classic in Couth Carolina over the weekend, and it wasn’t something she took lightly. She posted: “Thanks to my team and friends we left with ribbons, memories and a few reserve champion titles!!!”
• Jason Aldean – Says his biggest pet peeve is dirty dishes in the sink. And his worst habit is being on his phone “all the time.”

JUST A MINUTE:
Everyone has a to-do list. It might be in your head. It might be on paper, and it might be on paper in your spouse’s writing, but we’ve all got ‘em. Happiness expert Gretchen Rubin has a tip to help you get started on yours without feeling overwhelmed. She suggests the “One Minute Rule”. Before you tackle the biggie items on your list, get to work on some of the easy items first, that you can do in a minute or so, like emptying the garbage, putting the dishes away, or starting a load of laundry. Getting these things out of the way gives you the feeling that you are accomplishing something, and gives you a sense of control. This allows you to focus on some of the bigger tasks, like a thorough housecleaning or that home-improvement project. The One Minute Rule is also an approach you can use at work.
(Of course it can. It’s pretty much ALL I do at work!)
(Actually, getting others to do my jobs is what gives me a sense of control!)
(Unfortunately, I can’t pick and choose things on my to-do list according to how long they take. I choose them according to what I can AFFORD!)
-PureWow

AGREE TO DISAGREE:
Is there such thing as a good argument with your spouse? Yes, as it turns out. A team from the University of Oklahoma looked at what separates good arguments from bad ones, and they found that a good argument is one when both people involved are treating the disagreement like it’s something they can solve together, and one person isn’t getting blamed or bullied. For example, an argument might be about whether to buy a new home versus a fixer-upper. Participants who successfully dealt with this type of argument reported that they came from a cooperative standpoint, where the goals were coming to an agreement and reassuring their partner that they cared about them despite the fight. A bad argument? That’s when, for example, one person might always leave dirty dishes on the counter, and the issue would be resolved if only they would get their act together and clean up after themselves more often. These types of arguments tend to be more about dominance, and one person feels blamed or bullied.
(But not enough for me to put my dishes away!)
(It doesn’t matter if it’s a good one or a bad one. I’m still gonna lose!)
(My wife must feel like ALL of our arguments are good ones. Why else would she remember them 7 years later?)
-Curiosity

EGGHEAD ALERT:
As any good nerd knows, In Douglas Adams’ classic novel ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’, the supercomputer ‘Deep Thought’ is built by a race of super-intelligent aliens to determine the answer to “life, the universe and everything.” Somewhat anticlimactically, the computer determines that the answer is “42.” It sounds like a joke, but check this out: Adams was definitely a computer guy, and was into computer code and programming. In programming, an asterisk is commonly used to mean “Whatever you want it to be.” In ASCII language, the most basic computer software, ‘42′ is the designation for an asterisk. When Deep Thought was asked what the true meaning of life was, it answered as you might think a computer would – 42. “Anything you want it to be.”
(This message brought to you by the taped-eyeglass wearers in our I.T. department.)
-ThatEricAlper

THINGS NO MAN OVER 40 SHOULD EVER SAY:
✗ “Does this shirt go with these pants?” (If you don’t know by now, you’re never gonna….)
✗ “Literally” It’s a crutch word. (Plus, when you use it, you ‘literally’ don’t mean ‘literally’)
✗ “Irregardless” No such word exists. (But some use it, irregardless…)
✗ “Limited access to email” Today, that’s not a thing. If you use this on your auto-reply, it means you plan to ignore some people’s email. (Whoops…)
✗ “Yello” When used as a phone greeting. Also “Buh-bye”. (What do you want? “Word”? “Seacrest Out”?)
✗ “Ma’am” A woman likes being called ‘Ma’am’ as much as a dude likes being called ‘Gramps’.
✗ “Bae” Never use highschool lingo when you’re 22 years removed from highschool.
✗ “I’m not a happy camper” A grown man should be able to express his anger in a more straightforward manner. (Plus, If I were camping right now, I’d actually be pretty happy!)
✗ “Sweet!” Just look around and gauge everyone’s reaction. That should tell you right there.
✗ “Amazeballs” (Literally.)
-BestLife

BS CHRONOMETER 07.04.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1938 [80] Bill Withers, Slab Fork WV, soul singer (‘Lean on Me’, ‘Ain’t No Sunshine’)

1961 [57] Andrew Zimmern, New York City NY, chef (co-host of “Bizarre Foods” since 2006)

1971 [47] Al Madrigal, San Francisco CA, TV actor (“About a Boy” 2014)/comedian (regular correspondent on “The Daily Show” since 2011)

1981 [37] Mike Sorrentino (The Situation), New York City NY, reality star (“Jersey Shore” 2009-12, “ Jersey Shore: Family Vacation” 2018)

1983 [35] Melanie Fiona (Hallim), Toronto ON, R&B singer (w/Cee Lo Green-‘Fool for You’, ‘It Kills Me’)

1995 [23] Post Malone (Austin Richard Post), Syracuse NY, Rapper (‘White Iverson’, ‘Too Young’)

1998 [20] Malia Obama, Chicago IL, Former US presidential daughter/first offspring of Barack & Michelle Obama

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “U.S. Independence Day”, celebrating the country’s declaration of nationhood in 1776. Among the more unusual 4th of July festivals: “Sidewalk Egg-Frying Challenge” in Oatman AZ; “World’s Greatest Lizard Race” in Lovington NM; and the vegan-inspired “Independence from Meat Day”

• “Barbecue Day”, Almost everyone loves the taste of freshly grilled hot dogs, hamburgers, and steak! So gather up the gang and celebrate the time-honored tradition of singeing your eyebrows and arm hair…

• “Country Music Day”, celebrating the roots music movement that began in America over 90 years ago with the Carter Family and Jimmie Rodgers. Country is actually a mishmash of several other styles, including folk, Celtic, blues, gospel, hokum, and old-time music. (***See ‘BS WEB GOODIE’, below***)

• “Alice in Wonderland Day”, the day that commemorates Lewis Carroll’s first telling of the famous children’s story to his young inspiration, Alice Liddell. It is the day on which Carroll sent his child friend Alice down a rabbit hole in his far-fetched tale, “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland”

• “Sidewalk Egg Frying Day”, it’s July, the middle of summer. It’s hotter than blazes. Why, its so hot that you could fry an egg on the sidewalk. Here’s your chance to go ahead and prove it! (what if I wanted them poached?)

• “Invisible Day”, if you could be invisible for just one day, what would you do?

• “Caesar Salad Day”, is not named after Julius Caesar. It’s actually named after the chef who created it – Caesar Cardini, who first concocted it at Caesar’s Place Restaurant in Tijuana, Mexico

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Bikini Day
[Wed] Graham Cracker Day
[Thurs] Fried Chicken Day
[Thurs] Air Traffic Control Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982 [36] Black Sabbath frontman Ozzy Osbourne marries his manager Sharon Arden.

1999 [19] Victoria Adams, better known as ‘Posh Spice’ of The Spice Girls, marries soccer star David Beckham.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1992 [26] The king of all booty songs, Sir Mix-A-Lot’s ‘Baby Got Back’,” hits #1 in America.

2015 [03] Ariana Grande touches off a social media firestorm when she is caught on camera licking some donuts on a display counter at Wolfee Donuts in Lake Elsinore, California

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1996 [22] ‘Hot Mail’, the free internet email service makes its debut, one of the first webmail services on the web. The name was chosen because it contains the letters ‘HTML’, the language used to create web pages

2009 [09] The Statue of Liberty’s crown reopens to the public in NYC’s harbor after 8 years of closure due to security concerns following the 9/11 attacks

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2015 [03] Matt Stonie ends the 8-year winning streak of Joey Chestnut at the annual ‘Nathan’s 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest’ at NYC’s Coney Island, by eating 62 hot dogs in 10 minutes to Joey’s 60 (Chestnut regained the record by downing 72 hot dogs in 2017…how will he do today?)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK U.S.A. FACTS:
✓ Scottish band The Bay City Rollers chose their name after sticking a pin in a map of America, which landed on the Michigan city.
✓ Redondo Beach, California adopted the Goodyear Blimp as the city’s official bird in 1983.
✓ Alaska is simultaneously the westernmost and easternmost state.
✓ Abraham Lincoln had the opportunity to populate the United States with elephants. He turned it down.
✓ The Square Dance is the official state dance of 24 states.
✓ There are only two escalators in Wyoming.
-MentalFloss

BS BAD STAFF MEETING QUESTIONS:
• Couldn’t we just do this via email?
• Does anyone know how to get past this level on Bejeweled? I’m stuck!
• Do I need a lawyer?
• You mean everyone except me, right?
• Does anyone have some toenail clippers I could borrow?
• What exactly do you mean by “crippling layoffs?”
• Don’t you feel like you’re overpaying us?
• Can you wake me when this is over?
• Can you guys smell that?
• Any question asked right as the meeting is ending.
-Twitter

BS FAILED SPORTS FILMS:
• The Shape of Water Polo
• Angels in the Outhouse
• Cross Country for Old Men
• Malcolm BMX
• The Good, The Badminton, And The Ugly
• LeBron With The Wind
• The Detroit Lion Kings
• Purple Rain Delay
• What About Bobsled?
• Field of Wet Dreams
-Twitter

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever seen someone do at the beach?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
1. Springfield Is The Capital Of Which US State?
a. Rhode Island
b. Illinois [CORRECT]
c. Montana
d. Saskatchewan

2. Statistically, what is the most dangerous job in the U.S.?
a. Race car driver
b. Logger
c. Iron worker
d. President [CORRECT] (Of the 45 men who’ve held the post, four have been assassinated in office— a rate of roughly 9 percent killed on the job)

BS WEB GOODIE:
It’s “Country Music Day”. Why beat your brains out trying to write a country hit? You can instantly create clever lyrics for a new country song with the online ‘Country Song Machine’ …
NET: http://www.outofservice.com/country

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The songs ‘It’s Raining Men’ and ‘Let the Bodies Hit the Floor’ are probably about the same event, but from different perspectives.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The average person gets 17 of THESE each year.
Answer: Bug bites.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The secret to getting ahead is getting started.