The Bull Sheet

June 19, 2003

Thursday, June 19, 2003           Edition: #2567
There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Here’s a couple of new Hollywood couples – 15-year-old popsters Hilary Duff & Aaron Carter say they’re an item, fitting in couple time amidst hectic recording & movie careers, and 24-year-old actor Josh Hartnett (“Hollywood Homicide”) & 20-year-old actress Kate Bosworth (“Blue Crush”) have reportedly been keeping their secret relationship under wraps . . . . Tina Louise, who played ‘Ginger’, has just inked a deal to lend her image and voice to a “Gilligan’s Island” slot machine which she’ll launch with other cast members later this year in Las Vegas . . . Steven Seagal says his Buddhist spiritual adviser told him to stop making movies because it would bring bad karma (interestingly, the public have been saying the same thing for years) . . . The 2003 “NBA Finals” were the lowest-rated major sports championship in broadcast television history . . . Word is Nelly Furtado will release the follow-up to her double platinum debut album “Whoa Nelly” on NOVEMBER 25th, but it doesn’t have a title yet . . . Classic rockers Lynyrd Skynyrd & country star Hank Williams Jr have reportedly been asked to perform at Kid Rock & Pamela Anderson’s wedding – they just haven’t been told when (or if).

FUTURE FLICKS:
Nia Vardalos will attempt to avoid a big, fat sophomore jinx with her new film “Connie And Carla”, a romantic comedy about a woman who disguises herself as a drag queen in order to avoid a mob hit . . . An independent film director in Newport Beach CA is using eBay to sell an executive producer credit on his latest movie . . . George Clooney is in talks to star as “The Fall Guy” in a movie remake of the hit ’80s TV show that starred Lee Majors . . . John Malkovich will star in the comedy “Color Me Kubrick”, the true story of a man who conned his way into London’s high society by pretending to be reclusive director Stanley Kubrick . . . Arnold Schwarzenegger will co-produce and take a small role in a remake of the 1973 futuristic Western flick “Westworld” . . . And you can look for “American Idol” Ruben Studdard in a cameo role in the comedy sequel “Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed” when it opens NEXT YEAR (will he still have a career?).

SIMON CELEBRATES:
TODAY the Hasbro toy company is celebrating the 25th anniversary of SIMON, one of the first electronic games. The game with red, yellow, green & blue flashing lights along with distinct beeps quickly became a cultural icon, so hot at the time that it sold out before the end of the 1978 Christmas season. Hasbro is celebrating with an eBay auction of SIMONS autographed by famous ‘Simons’, including “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell, Duran Duran singer Simon LeBon, and Philadelphia Eagle Corey Simon. (Nowadays kids would think this game is about as hi-tech as a rock.)

OVERDUE DIPLOMA:
Gustava Bennett-Burrus started taking computer classes at Richmond High in Contra Costa
County in Northern California in January and is set to receive an honorary high school diploma THIS WEEK. Not notable except – she’s a 97-year-old great-grandmother. (Wonder who got her as a prom date?)

YOUR CHEATIN’ HEART:
The modern Western woman is now almost as likely to cheat on her partner as a man, according to a new survey carried out for a German magazine. In an online poll of men and women aged 25 to 35, 59% of men admit they’ve been unfaithful to their partner – and so do 53% of women! (Meaning 6% of men are getting more than their share!)

IN-BOX DUMPING:
Online dating service Match.com reports that 48% of online daters have experienced an e-mail breakup, and people 55 years old or older are the most likely victims. Even though only 37% think it’s appropriate to send a ‘Dear John’ e-mail, lots of people seem to be doing it anyway. (It could be worse – SMS.)

FISHY FINES:
• Dozens of motorists in Loewenberg, Germany have found bogus traffic tickets stuck under their windshield wipers. Police say several victims have shown up to pay fines even though the offenses are as absurd as – ‘driving without a hat’.
• A 56-year-old Southport UK driver claims 30 parking fines he received should be wiped out because he suffers from amnesia and forgets where he left his car. (Authorities say he better pay up or he can forget about owning a car.)

U-R A JRK:
To some extent, technology may have hardened today’s kids. A Pew Internet survey reveals that 37% of instant message-using teens have used IM to say something that they would not have said to someone’s face.

DUTCH DICK:
As part of their campaign to get subsidies for student apartments, the national students’ union in the Netherlands presented a 2.5 meter-long (8-ft) penis to the Dutch Parliament, signed with the catchy slogan ‘in balls & excrement you cannot live’. (It remains to be seen if the Dutch MPs will be impressed by the new member.)

WAX JOB:
An Indian barber has become famous for using a candle instead of scissors to trim his customers’ hair. He says the ‘candle cut’ is an old tradition which has been lost over the years. All it requires is a 5-meter-long (16-ft) wick and a comb to style hair. (And now for the hair spray … [explosion SFX] … Ahhhhhhh!)

FINDING YOUR INNER PUPPY:
“Yoga Journal” estimates 15 million North Americans are now into yoga, perhaps the reason a NYC outlet of the Crunch gym chain has begun offering yoga classes – for dogs. ‘Ruff Yoga’ includes traditional yoga ‘poses’ in which dogs can be incorporated. Yoga guru Bruce Van Horn says the relaxed state dog owners achieve through yoga rubs off on their pooches by reducing their stress levels.

NEW GIZMOS & GADGETS:
• ‘The RoboMower’ – Sweden’s Friendly Robotics has sold more than 5,000 of these backyard cyborgs in Scandinavia. The creepy-crawly device learns your lawn’s dimensions then programs itself to mow it efficiently. For just $695 you can stay on the couch for the WHOLE weekend.
• Just as owners of robot pets like Sony’s ‘Aibo’ develop emotional attachments to their mechanical companions, it seems people are acquiring similar feelings for their robot vacuum cleaners. iRobot says more than half the owners of its ‘Roomba’ robovac have given their device a name. Owners often talk to their machines and some even take them on vacation because they don’t want to leave them home alone.
• ‘No Cell Phone Zone’ – Sandy Middleton Marshall of Brentwood TN has trademarked a new logo to designate areas where cell phone use is banned. She’s selling signs and stickers on the Web, priced from a modest 49 cents. (Cool, they can slap one on the visor of every new vehicle.)
NET: http://www.nocellphonezone.com
• ‘The Wireless BBQ Thermometer’ – A $40 gadget that lets you wander away from the grill and calls you back when your steak has reached perfection. (But you’ll need one for each steak to get them just right for your picky family.)

BS AMAZING FACT:
The basis of how cats communicate with people is by vocalizing specific sounds then listening for the human reaction, according to Cornell University psychologist Michael Owren. (Who’s apparently interviewed thousands of cats.)
Source: “Globe & Mail”

THE BULL SHEET 06.19.2K3

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [53] Ann Wilson, San Diego CA, classic rock singer (Heart-“What About Love”, “Magic Man”, “Barracuda”)

1954 [49] Kathleen Turner, Springfield MO, stage actress (made headlines by disrobing daily in stage production of “The Graduate”)/movie actress (“Body Heat”, “Romancing the Stone”)

1954 [49] Tasmanian Devil (‘Taz’), Hollywood CA, WB cartoon character who sounds like a buzzsaw when he goes into a whirlwind (debuts in “Devil May Hare”, co-starring Bugs Bunny)

1962 [41] Paula Abdul, Van Nuys CA, TV judge (“American Idol”)/has-been pop singer who was about as hot as you can get back in 1988 (Grammy-“Opposites Attract”)/choreographer

1978 [25] ‘Garfield’, Jim Davis’ fat cat comic strip 1st appears in newspapers (now read by over 220 million in more than 2,500 newspapers worldwide)  FACTOID: A real cat probably wouldn’t have made it this long – especially on a diet of lasagna, hamburgers & coffee!  QUOTE: “Big fat hairy deal.”
NET: http://www.garfield.com/comics/wideworld

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “World Sauntering Day”, a day to ‘revive the art of Victorian sauntering, and discourage jogging, lollygagging, sashaying, fast walking and trotting’.

TODAY is “National Martini Day”. (Recipe for a very dry martini – 1. Take one bottle of gin.)

TODAY is “Juneteenth”, marking the day in 1865 that slaves in several Southern states heard they had been emancipated. It’s a state holiday in Texas and at least 3 other states.

FRIDAY is the 5th annual “Take Your Dog to Work Day”, created by Pet Sitters International in 1999 to call attention to the wonderful companionship dogs provide and to encourage pet adoptions from animal shelters.
PHONER: 336-983-9222 (Pet Sitters International, King NC)
NET: http://www.petsit.com/tydtwd/default.asp

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1917 [86] By order of King George V, British royal family dispenses with German titles and surnames and takes the name ‘Windsor’

1941 [62] ‘Cheerios’ 1st sold (as ‘Cheerie Oats’)

1981 [22] 13-year-old Céline Dion makes TV debut in Québec (back when future husband Rene was 72)

1983 [20] Opening of Canada’s 1st ‘domed stadium’, Vancouver’s ‘BC Place’

1846 [157] 1st ‘baseball fine’ as umpire levies a 6-cent fine against a Hoboken NJ player for swearing

1964 [39] 1st ‘topless bar’ opens, in San Francisco

1978 [25] 1st male-named hurricane (‘Bud’ hits Southern US)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1981 [22] World’s ‘largest hamburger’ weighs in at 3,020 lbs (Towner ND)

1985 [18] Angelo Spagnolo earns title ‘Worst Recreational Hacker’ at “Worst Avid Golfers Tournament” in Ponte Vedra FL by shooting an incredible 257 (including a 66 on the 17th hole alone), losing 60 golf balls, and knocking 27 balls into the water!

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] World Refugee Day
[Sat] 1st Day of Summer
[Sat] Britain’s Prince William turns 21
[Sat] Baby Boomers Recognition Day
[Sat] Vegan World Day
[Mon] Pink Day
[Sat] Canadian Aboriginal Day
[Tues] Discovery Day (NL)
[Tues] Fete Nationale or St-Jean-Baptiste Day (QC)
This Week Is . . . Forgiveness Week
This Month Is . . . Fight The Filthy Fly Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
TOP 10 WEDDING SONGS:
These songs all take on the subject of marriage and love in a creative manner. Forget what is commonly played, go for original and meaningful!
10. “Call and Answer” – Barenaked Ladies
9. “I Belong To You” – Lenny Kravitz
8. “By Your Side” – Sade
7. “Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?” – Bryan Adams
6. “She” – Elvis Costello
5. “And I Love Her” – The Beatles
4. “Knock Me Off My Feet” – Stevie Wonder
3. “It Had To Be You” – Harry Connick Jr
2. “You’re Just Too Good To Be True” – Lauryn Hill
1. “When I Fall In Love” – Nat King Cole
Source: AskMen.com

BS TRIVIA:
Q: 60 years ago TODAY (1943) the National Football League admitted a team call the ‘Steagles’. Where did they play?
A: Due to the shortage of players during WW2, it was a merger of the Philadelphia Eagles and
the Pittsburgh Steelers, a team that lasted one 5-4-1 season playing in both cities.

THE WEEK’S MOST-SEARCHED WEB TERMS:
1. WWE (Bad Blood stokes the buzz.)
2. “Hulk” (opening FRIDAY.)
3. 50 Cent (but word is he’s getting stiff competition from Ruben & Clay.)
Source: Yahoo Buzz Index

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 65% of married people do THIS while kissing their mate.
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: Tilt their heads to the right.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
By the time you realize what love can do, the damage has already been done.

 

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