The Bull Sheet

June 29, 2000

Thursday, June 29, 2000                                               Edition:  #1840

It’s official — the title of the new ‘Harry Potter’ book to be released JULY 8TH is “Harry Potter & The Goblet Of Fire”. But here’s a look at  . .
BS REJECTED TITLES FOR THE NEW ‘HARRY POTTER’ BOOK:
• “Harry Potter & The Pants Full of Macaroni”
• “Harry Potter & The Tagi Tribal Council”
• “Harry Potter & The Woman Inside Me”
• “Master P & The Wiz in The Hood”
• “Harry Potter & The Final Answer”
• “Harry Potter & The Flogged Dead Horse”
• “Harry Potter — That’ll Be $34 Please”

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
YESTERDAY “Who Wants to Marry A Multimillionaire” ex-bride Darva Conger donated her wedding gown to Planet Hollywood where it will be exhibited alongside her naked layout in the AUGUST issue of “Playboy” (14 minutes and counting) . . . TODAY at noon EDT Sting (the rocker not the wrestler) takes on world chess champion Garry Kasparov in a chess match to raise funds for the Rainforest Foundation (cybercast live at http://sting.compaq.com) . . . ABC has picked up yet another ‘reality series’, “The Runner”, produced by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, in which a contestant is on the lam while viewers try to track him down (“America’s Most Wanted”, only with prizes) . . . Even though Jennifer Love Hewitt’s TV show “Time of Your Life” has been canceled, her popularity ratings have landed her a new gig as spokesperson for Nokia phones (which also have silicone parts) . . . The soon-to-shoot Global TV series “Popstars” will follow the creation of a manufactured Canadian girl-group, from auditions, through recording, to their concert debut (‘cause we need our own Spice Girls).

HABS FOR HIRE:
Financial analysts say Molson could get up to $400 million for the controlling interest in the Montréal Canadiens and the Molson Centre. (If cable giant Rogers buys them as rumored, games will be scheduled by appointment ‘next Tuesday, anytime between noon and five’.)

ROCKER RIDES THE RAILS:
Obnoxious Atlanta pitcher John Rocker says he plans to take the #7 subway through Queens to get to the Braves-NY Mets series that starts TONIGHT. (Which will be preceded by 2 minutes’ silence in his honor.)

BS FROM AROUND-THE-WORLD:
• A 27-year-old elephant has died in Bangkok, Thailand due to a build-up of gas after eating 100 lbs of uncooked rice and chasing it down with 60 gallons of water. (When [your co-host] has this problem, OTHER people die.)
• The economy is so bad in Romania that local prostitutes are now offering to perform household chores for clients after sex. (In Canada, this is called ‘marriage’.)
• The town of Sigmota, Sweden stages an annual ‘Pee Outside Day’. Why? According to the publication “New Internationalist”, it’s to conserve 50% of the water normally used in toilet flushing.
• The world’s largest bench has been created for a flower show in Japan. It measures 1,832 feet long and seats up to 900 people. (My doctor’s looking into it for his waiting room.)
• Swedish furniture corporation Ikea has a new method of attracting young professionals to the firm — handwritten employment ads scrawled on public washroom walls. (Right next to ads for other ‘positions’.)

THE BULL SHEET 06.29.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1944     [56] Gary Busey, Goose Creek TX, film actor (“Under Siege”, “Lethal Weapon”)
1947    [53] Richard Lewis, Brooklyn NY, angst-ridden comedian
1949    [51] Dan Dierdorf, Canton OH, TV sportscaster (CBS, ex-Monday Night Football)/NFL Hall of Famer (St Louis Cardinals)
1962    [38] Sharon Lawrence, Charlotte NC, TV actress (Donna Stiles-“Ladies Man”, “NYPD Blue”)
1968    [32] Theoren Fleury, Oxbow SK, 5′-6″ NHL winger (NY Rangers)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Charlottetown] “Festival of Lights” begins
[Halifax] “Nova Scotia International Tattoo” begins
[International] “Camera Day”
[Montreal] “Festival International de Jazz” begins

ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1994    [06] Prince Charles admits to infidelity in British TV documentary
1998    [02] Eddie Murphy’s “Dr Dolittle” tops movie box office
1998    [02] Aerosmith performs at Florida’s Kennedy Space Center for world premiere of movie “Armageddon”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1937    [63] 1st ‘snowmobile’ built by Bombardier in Québec (originally called ‘Ski-dog’, later ‘Ski-do’)
1964    [36] 1st ‘TV remote control’ marketed (How do you get your husband to do sit-ups? Put the remote between his toes.)
1990    [10] 1st time in MLB history 2 complete game no-hitters are recorded on same day (Oakland’s Dave Stewart vs Toronto, LA Dodger Fernando Valenzuela vs St Louis)
1995    [05] 1st ‘on-line simulcast’ (Internet surfers chat with actor Tom Hanks)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Leap Second Adjustment
[Mon] Air Conditioning Appreciation Days
Deaf & Blindness Awareness Week
International People Skills Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
CANADA DAY QUIZ:

• Which Canadian recording artist was the first to have a million-selling album in Canada? (Bryan Adams)
• What’s the 3rd largest ethnic group in Canada after British and French? (German)
• From what language did the name ‘Canada’ originate? (Huron-Iroquois)
• Which Canadian province has no Indian reserves? (PEI)
• Canada occupies how many of the world’s 24 time zones? (6, when you include Newfie time.)
• What’s the proper way to address the Governor General of Canada? (‘Excellency’)
• What’s the only single community in Canada split by a provincial boundary? (Lloydminster AB/SK)
(Source for all: “McClelland & Stewart 2000 Canadian Encyclopedia”)

BS TAG LINE:
Three groups spend other people’s money — children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision.

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