BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Live Nation’s so-called “No Service Fee Wednesday” offering this week is 4-ticket bundles to concerts at an average 17% discount, but be aware that parking, taxes, and certain venue fees may still apply (technically though, there’s no ‘service’ fee) . . . Celebretard Jessica Simpson’s new ‘docu-series’ called “The Price of Beauty” (VH1), in which she travels the world discovering how beauty is perceived in different cultures, is set to begin production in mid-July for airing in 2010 (amazing how she keeps getting work) . . . Kevin Blatt, the sleazy broker behind the explicit Paris Hilton and Verne Troyer videotapes admits he’s surprised by the level of interest in new homemade footage featuring “Gossip Girl” actress Leighton Meester, claiming it’s sparked a bidding war among online sites that now tops $1 million (safe sex now involves checking your camera phone at the bedroom door) . . . Speaking at the “Edinburgh Film Festival”, movie director Darren Aronofsky (“The Wrestler”) has said he’s ‘unconvinced’ by the latest 3-D film technology; thinks it’s a ‘gimmick’; and finds putting on those goofy glasses that are required ‘really annoying’ (at last, somebody said it!) . . . “Ghost Whisperer” star Jennifer Love Hewitt is writing a relationship advice book (the girl who called off an engagement, dated John Mayer, and is now dating Jamie Kennedy?) . . . 23-year-old actor Rob Pattinson (“Twilight”) has been clipped by a cab while running away from hysterical female fans during filming of the new movie “Remember Me” in NYC (no major injury to the world’s most over-rated sex symbol) . . . Former “Tonight Show” sidekick Ed McMahon died yesterday at age 86 of pneumonia (on the upside, we won’t have to watch him in ads for walk-in bathtubs and adjustable beds anymore) . . . And 70-year-old Hollywood veteran Jon Voight has felt it necessary to blab to “Life & Style” magazine that he thinks “Transformers” starlet Megan Fox is just as ‘sexy’ as his actress-daughter Angelina Jolie (there’s something kinda creepy about all that).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Katy Perry (“One Of the Boys”) in a rerun show.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – House band The Roots plays music from “Rising Down”.
• “The Philanthropist” (NBC/Global) – Premiere of a new action series about a billionaire playboy, played by James Purefoy (“Rome”), who sets out to give his money away after an epiphany during a trip to Nigeria. Co-stars Neve Campbell (“Party of Five”) & Jesse L Martin (“Law & Order”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Wilco promotes “Wilco” (the album), to be released June 30th.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Black Eyed Peas – Police have now charged tour manager Polo Molina with assault after he allegedly gave celebrity blogger Perez Hilton a black eye outside Toronto nightclub Cobra early Monday morning following the “MuchMusic Video Awards”. He’s due in court August 5th. (Think Molina’s taking one for the team?)
• Britney Spears – “National Ledger” reports she’s in talks to star in a new movie called “The Yellow Star of Sophia & Eton”, playing a woman who creates a time machine, travels back to World War II, and falls in love with a man she meets at a concentration camp. (If true, this could make her horrific 2002 film “Crossroads” seem Oscar-worthy.)
• John Mayer – He claims on his Twitter account that singer Pink once ‘kneed him in the nuts’ outside the Chateau Marmont hotel in LA. (We say, you go, girl!)
• Kid Rock – He’s hooking up with producer Rick Rubin to record the follow-up to his double-platinum 2007 album “Rock N Roll Jesus”. He says they’ll take their time to get every track right before releasing the new effort.
• Led Zeppelin – Guitarist Jimmy Page has slammed “Guitar Hero”, saying he can’t imagine people are learning anything significant about playing instruments by playing videogames. (Uh Jimbo, it’s called ‘fun’.)
• Paul McCartney – He’s writing an original score for the animated feature “High In the Clouds”, an adaptation of a children’s book he co-wrote about a squirrel’s quest to find an animal sanctuary.
• Sugarland – Their first network TV special, “Sugarland: Live On the Inside”, will air August 3rd on ABC-TV. The concert was filmed at Rupp Arena in Lexington KY.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Adventure ): Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, and Josh Duhamel (‘doo-MELL’) return in the follow-up to 2007’s “Transformers” (over $700 million in worldwide box office). This time, ‘Decepticon’ forces return to Earth on a mission to take ‘Sam’ (LaBeouf) prisoner after he learns the truth about the ancient origins of the ‘Transformers’. Soundtrack includes music by Linkin Park. This flick is such a lock at the box office that “Transformers 3” is already scheduled for 2012.
NET: http://www.transformersmovie.com

BS BUZZWORDS:
New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Competitive Altruism’ – Showing off your pro-Earth behaviors as a measure of status. (“Yeah I drive a hybrid, I buy local, and I use central air as little as possible … oh, you weren’t asking?”)
• Couchsurfing’ – Flopping for free on a stranger’s couch while traveling. Connections are usually made through a website dedicated to the practice which has more than a million members worldwide. (Be careful of that couch … you don’t know where it’s been!)
NET: http://www.couchsurfing.org
• ‘Microvacation’ – A brief vacation, usually consisting of no more than 2 days. (This is what was previously known as a ‘weekend’.)

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• Cave Creek AZ: This candidate just couldn’t ‘cut it’. A recent city council race ended in a tie, with 2 candidates receiving 660 votes, confirmed by a recount. So they decided the winner by … drawing cards. A town judge picked a deck from a Stetson hat and shuffled it 6 times. Then the 64-year-old, 2-term, sitting councillor cut it to select a 6 of Hearts; but his 25-year-old law student challenger pulled a King of Hearts to win. Said the incumbent: “It’s a hell of a way to lose an election.
– ABC News
• Skovde, Sweden: Who was more ‘dozy’ during this caper? Inept thieves fled empty handed after stealing a house trailer while the owner was fast asleep inside. The terrified vacationer woke up to find himself being towed away in his mobile home after the crooks hitched it to their getaway car. But when they stopped and broke into the trailer, his loud screaming caused the thieves to abandon their car and flee on foot.
– Ananova News
• Langley BC: It’s a case of ‘flash-and-dash’. Cops are on the lookout for a thief who snatched a customer’s order of fries … while running naked past a Wendy’s drive-through window. Stunned employees, apparently looking, uh, elsewhere, did not see his face. Looks like this fast nude got himself some fast food … free.
– “The Province”
• Graz, Austria: Talk about getting ‘high’! After a night boozing with friends, a 28-year-old university student woke up in the cab of a construction crane … 150 feet in the air. When construction workers found him in the morning and called cops, the party animal told them he had no idea how he got there. Officers say he was driven home and faces no charges but was warned that going up into a crane cab can be risky at the best of times, let alone when drunk.
– “NY Post”

NATURAL MOSQUITO REPELLENTS:
Experts say it’s very easy to make your own natural mosquito repellent, but they usually require more frequent application (at least every 2 hours) and higher concentrations than DEET. As you can see, natural repellents tend to be easily evaporated plant oils …
• Castor Oil
• Cedar Oil
• Citronella Oil
• Cinnamon Oil
• Clove Oil
• Geranium Oil
• Lemon Eucalyptus Oil
• Lemongrass Oil
• Peppermint Oil
• Rosemary Oil
• Witch Hazel
• Vodka
What other improvised methods have you used? We’ve heard of applying Listerine on exposed skin from a spray bottle, but can’t vouch that it does anything other than make you smell fresh. Others swear by Avon Skin-So-Soft, a scented skin conditioner.
– About.com

HOTTEST LOOKING ACTRESSES 2009:
According to the just-released ‘Sexiest Women In the World 2009′ magazine survey …
5. Madeline Zima (“Californication).
4. Jessica Biel (Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend).
3. Scarlett Johansson (“Vicky Cristina Barcelona”).
2. Jessica Alba (“Fantastic Four”).
1. “Transformers” star Megan Fox (2nd year-in-a-row).
– “FHM Magazine”

THE LATEST EVIDENCE:
Have you checked out Google’s new Street View technology whereby you can virtually walk the streets of cities worldwide? In what is likely the first case of the technology being used in a criminal investigation, Dutch police have arrested twin brothers on suspicion of robbery after their alleged victim spotted a picture of them following him on Street View. The 14-year-old claimed 2 men dragged him from his bicycle and robbed him of $230 and his cellphone in September 2008. This March, he called police again after he found an image on Street View of himself being followed the men. As faces are blurred on Street View, police asked Google for the original photo. The company complied; a detective immediately recognized the suspects; and they’ve now been busted. In a one-in-a-million stroke of luck, it seems the picture had been taken moments before the crime. (This could be a way to revive TV show “Cold Case”!)
– Radio Netherlands Worldwide

DID YOU KNOW?
• As a cold-blooded insect, flies are slower in the early morning and evening when the air is cooler, and speed up in the heat of the day.
• The pilot and co-pilot on a passenger plane are not allowed to have the same meal in case they both get food poisoning.
– BBC News

BS CHRONOMETER 06.24.09

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [62] Mick Fleetwood, Redruth UK, classic rock band leader/drummer (Fleetwood Mac-“Dreams”, “Don’t Stop”) who now co-owns auction house Fleetwood Owen

1958 [51] Jean Charest, Sherbrooke QC, Québec Premier since 2003 (Liberal)/former federal PC leader (1993-98)

1979 [30] Petra Nemcova, Karvina, Czech Republic, fashion model (“Sports Illustrated”) who founded the Happy Hearts Fund after being injured & losing her finacé in the 2004 Thailand tsunami

1979 [30] Mindy Kaling (Chokalingam), Cambridge MA, TV actress (‘Kelly Kapoor’ on “The Office” since 2005)

1980 [29] Minka Kelly, LA CA, TV actress (‘Lyla Garrity’ on “Friday Night Lights” since 2006)

1986 [23] Solange Knowles, Houston TX, wannabe pop singer (“T-O-N-Y”, “I  Decided”)/Beyoncé’s little sis’

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Celebration Of the Senses”, when we’re encouraged to treat ourselves to stimulation of each of our 5 senses. What would be the best sensation for each? Here are some favorites …
– Smell … Just-baked cinnamon buns; new car aroma; freshly-bathed baby.
– Sight … The Seine at sunrise; the Rockies at sunset; the Mediterranean anytime.
– Touch … Cashmere sweaters; fluffy cats; warm Caribbean water on a winter’s day.
– Sound … Backyard birdsong in early morning; loved ones’ laughter; loons on a Canadian lake.
– Taste … HP sauce on grilled steak; dark, bittersweet chocolate; maple syrup on French toast.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/5zz8tu

• “St-Jean Baptiste Day”, the “Fête Nationale” holiday in the province of Québec and in French Canadian communities across Canada. Besides Québec, St John the Baptist is also the patron saint of auto routes, candlemakers, health spas, road workers, and wool workers.

• “Swim a Lap Day”, the pool equivalent of ‘Walk a Block’, an easily achievable step to getting your fitness initiative underway.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1509 [500] King Henry the VIII & Catherine of Arragon are crowned King & Queen of England (eventually leads to the TV series “The Tudors”)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1880 [129] 1st performance of “O Canada” (St-Jean Baptiste Day banquet in Québec City)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1923 [86] The ‘Peanut Butter Cup’ is invented by HB Reese (the cause of many a diet’s demise)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1973 [36] 15-year-old Marlene Raymond of Toronto limbos under a flaming bar at just 6 1/8 inches

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] 2009 Saturn Awards
[Thurs] Handshake Day
[Fri] Take Your Dog to Work Day
[Sat] Rock On the Range Festival opens (Winnipeg MB)
[Sat] Glastonbury Festival opens (Somerset UK)
This Week Is … Mosquito Control Awareness Week
This Month Is … Adopt a Shelter Cat Month

BULL’S BITS

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BS ‘IT PAYS TO BE IGERNANT’:
Your contestant must get all the answers to the following rapid-fire questions wrong in order to win [what they can’t say is in brackets]. It’s tougher than it seems!
• What movie is opening today in theaters? [“Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen”.]
• How many time zones are there in Canada? [6]
• What well-known baby food was first cooked up in Toronto in the 1930s? [Pablum.]
• What popular summer sport is played on a diamond? [Baseball.]
• What do you call an Inuit landmark made of stacked stones? [An inukshuk.]
• If it’s summer in North America, what season is it in Australia? [Winter.]
• What team won the 2009 Stanley Cup? [Pittsburgh Penguins.]
• This is the most popular activity at the beach. [Sunbathing.]
• What popular sport was called ‘baggataway’ when it was first played in Canada? [Lacrosse.]
• What is your name?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

BS PHONE STARTER:
You can choose your last meal. What will the menu consist of?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average size of one of THESE is just 17-inches-wide.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: An economy seat on an airliner. (MSN)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
We never really grow up, we just learn how to act in public.