The Bull Sheet

June 24, 2010


Thursday, June 24, 2010        Edition: #4291
Here’s Sheet in Your Eye!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
35-year-old “American Idol” host Ryan Seacrest’s relationship with 21-year-old country singer/”Dancing  With the Stars” hoofer Julianne Hough is apparently getting serious, a source close to the couple telling “People” they’re ‘perfect for each other’ (imagine the ‘mirror time’ arguments) . . . 43-year-old actress Salma Hayek has revealed she snacks on ants, worms, and grasshoppers and recommends everyone try the creepy crawlers (a little salsa, and even bait tastes good) . . . It’s been announced 52-year-old Prince Albert of Monaco is engaged to longtime girlfriend, 32-year-old former South African swimmer Charlene Wittstock, though no wedding details have yet been released (the Grimaldi family needs a legal heir in order to maintain the throne) . . . 55-year-old actor and oil-filtration system developer Kevin Costner says he wants his part in the Gulf oil clean-Up to be his legacy (because it ain’t gonna be “Waterworld”) . . . A publicist for 24-year-old Amanda Bynes says reports she was fired from the upcoming Farrelly Bros comedy “Hall Pass” due to bad behavior on-the-set are untrue, she only left due to a ‘scheduling conflict’ (she just announced her retirement – what schedule?) . . . And tonight the latest instalment of the “Twilight Saga” movie series, “Eclipse”, finally premieres at the Nokia Plaza in Los Angeles, a relief to ‘twi-hards’ who’ve been camped out in front of the theater since Monday, turning the place into a vampire village (even if they’re lucky, all they’ll get are wristbands for a fan viewing area).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Jason Castro (“Jason Castro”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Drake (“Thank Me Later”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – MGMT (“Congratulations”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Cyndi Lauper (“Memphis Blues”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – Debi Nova performs “Drummer Boy”; dance troupe RemoteKontrol performs; one contestant is eliminated.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings (“I Learned the Hard Way”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Courtney Love – In her new VH1 documentary, she claims she used to slap late husband Kurt Cobain to wake him after drug binges and, in extreme cases, apply ice cubes and stick pins … in his testicles. (What a devoted wife!)
• Elton John – Belarusian officials have requested tapes of his past performances before his upcoming concert in Minsk. Their fear? That he might convert concert-goers into homosexuals. (Wow, is it contagious?)
• Katy Perry – She’s revealed on Twitter that she needed 17 stitches in her leg after injuring herself following the “MuchMusic Video Awards” in Toronto on Sunday. Word is she sliced open her leg … while partying at a nightclub afterward.
• Lady Gaga – It seems she’s back together with ex-boyfriend Matthew Williams, a member of her Haus of Gaga creative production team. The duo were recently spotted on a romantic evening out at NYC’s … HeadQuarters strip club.
• Leona Lewis – The crew on her current tour are threatening to quit over her catering policy. The 25-year-old has been a strict vegetarian since age 12 and has banned all animal products, even refusing to allow food to be brought in from off-site. (It’s the ‘Tofu Tour’.)
• Muse – Frontman Matt Bellamy has been spotted out on an intimate dinner date with actress Kate Hudson this week in NYC, further cementing rumors the two have become an item.
• Taylor Swift – Her life story has been turned into a 25-page comic book, “Fame: Taylor Swift”, which chronicles her childhood and her rise to superstardom.
• Tim McGraw & Faith Hill – Their star-studded benefit concert this week has raised an estimated $3 million to help Tennessee’s flood victims rebuild their communities.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “All Quiet On the Western Front” – “Harry Potter” star Daniel Radcliffe is following up his stint as the boy wizard with the lead role of a remake of this classic 1930 war movie. He’ll play a WW1 soldier stationed in the trenches of northern France. The project begins shooting in 2012.
• “Elliot Allagash” – Director Jason Reitman (“Up In the Air”, “Juno”) has optioned movie rights to this novel by “Saturday Night Live” writer Simon Rich, a satirical tale about a boy who’s picked on in private school until he’s taken under the wing of another who drinks and makes trouble.
• “Fraggle Rock” – This 1980s kids TV show from the  Jim Henson Company is being developed into a movie. But the bigscreen version has hit a snag. Producers have sent the script back for revision because … it’s ‘not edgy enough’. ‘Boober’, ‘Doc’ and ‘Sprocket’ … edgy?
• “Major League 3” – Writer/director David S Ward says Charlie Sheen is game to reprise his role as the wacky pitcher in another sequel to the 1989 baseball comedy. It’s set 20 years later, when ‘Wild Thing’ comes out of retirement to work with a 19-year-old rookie. Ward also wants to bring back original cast-members Tom Berenger, Corbin Bernsen, and Wesley Snipes.
• “Rise Of the Apes” – John Lithgow and “Slumdog Millionaire” heroine Freida Pinto are onboard this prequel to the “Planet Of the Apes” franchise that’s shooting this summer in BC. It focuses on a scientist (James Franco) who’s been working on a cure for Alzheimer’s that is being tested on apes. Oh oh.

WHAT ‘SPF’ MEANS:
What do those ever-increasing SPF numbers on sunscreens mean? SPF (Sun Protection Factor) numbers were introduced in 1962 to measure a sunblock’s effect against UVB rays, the ones that cause sunburn. A rule-of-thumb equation is: Minutes to burn without sunscreen x SPF number = maximum sun exposure time. For example, if you burn after 10 minutes of exposure, an SPF of 70 should allow you to be in the sun for up to 700 minutes (over 11 hours) without burning. But be warned this equation is not always accurate. The average sun worshiper uses half the amount of sunscreen used in the laboratory. And you also need protection from UVA rays, which cause more long-term damaging effects on the skin, like premature aging. (To be really safe, do what they do in really, really hot countries … sit in the shade.)
– HowStuffWorks.com

WATERING WORRIES UNFOUNDED:

Anyone who gardens will tell you that you shouldn’t water plants in the mid-day sun or you’ll get ‘leaf burn’. Not so, says new research from Eotvos University in Hungary. Physicists who tested the theory that water droplets act like mini-magnifying lenses have found they’re not capable of concentrating solar energy sufficiently to damage leaves. So what does it? Scientists believe it could be a combination of other factors such as acid rain, salty sea or tap water, chlorinated water, and concentrations of fertilizer or other chemicals. Plants may also suffer stress from having cold water sprinkled on hot leaves. (Like when you water them mid-day?)
– Telegraph.co.uk

RECESSION, WHAT RECESSION?

The rich grew richer last year, even as the world endured the worst recession in decades. A stock market rebound helped the number of millionaires in the world climb 17% to 10 million, while their collective wealth surged 19% to $39 trillion, nearly recouping losses from the financial crisis, according to the latest Merrill Lynch-Capgemini world wealth report. (The simple explanation … while most investors were selling, they were buying.)
– “China Daily”

SELLING A SMILE:
This summer mega-conglomerate Unilever has set up a vending machine in Cannes, France that enables passers-by to score free ice cream simply by smiling into its facial recognition software. The ‘Share Happy’ machine can sense when it’s being approached, then captures and measures your smile 15 times a second, and when it’s wide enough, rewards you with ice cream. Once you hit the jackpot, you can share your winning smile with friends via Facebook. As to who Unilever’s sharing it with, we can only imagine, but it is known the software can also determine your age and gender as well as emotion. (Somehow you’ll get more spam email.)
– Consumerist.com

CLEAN-UP CLEANSER:

‘Dawn’ brand dishwashing detergent is the go-to soap for cleaning up birds and animals caught in oil spills. Wildlife rescue groups have sworn by it for years because it cuts the crude without doing harm to the animal. A rep for soap-maker Procter & Gamble says it’s a delicate balance of ‘surfactants’ that make it so effective. Here’s the BS translation: The grease-cutting portion of the detergent is made from … petroleum. But that makes up only about 14% of the formula, the rep defends. Critics say it’s a bit ironic we’re using the same product that’s messing up the Earth to clean it up. (Sort of like trying to fix your flooded basement with a hose.)
– NPR.org

HALO THERE, DRIVERS:

A Swiss scheme to use a guardian angel to urge motorists to slow down is proving such a success it may be extended. Police in the state of Fribourg have hired a winged man dressed in white to stand at the roadside and remind drivers to slow down. As part of the safe-driving campaign, the professional actor waves and flaps his wings at motorists who are traveling too fast. The angel is employed 20 hours per week to ‘appear’ in different parts of the region. (The plan has also cut down on drivers smoking cannabis … “Whoa, did you see that, man?”)
– Orange News

POTTY MOUTH PREVENTION:

There have recently been many incidents where people got in trouble for the language they use on social media sites, especially young people who are not actually aware of what is public and what is private. This could be the solution: ‘The Pepper Mouth’ is a new USB-powered gadget that sprays a nasty odor in the air whenever someone types swear words on the computer that it’s attached to. The developers hope that if bad language disturbs you with a bad smell, you will start to understand that it might also have other, more serious consequences. (“Holy *!!??&* it stinks in here! What have you been doing?”)
– Neatorama.com

DID YOU KNOW?

• To combat the effects of a heat wave, the Centers for Disease Control recommends 2-to-4 glasses of water … EACH HOUR. (Followed by regular visits to an air-conditioned restroom.)
• Since 2008, videogames have outsold movie DVDs. (And lately, a lot of movies ARE videogames and/or vice versa.)
– DidYouKnow.org

BS CHRONOMETER 06.24.10


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [63] Mick Fleetwood, Redruth UK, classic rock band leader/drummer (Fleetwood Mac-“Dreams”, “Don’t Stop”)/co-owner of auction house Fleetwood Owen

1958 [52] Jean Charest, Sherbrooke QC, Québec Premier since 2003 (Liberal)/former federal PC leader (1993-98)

1979 [31] Mindy Kaling (Chokalingam), Cambridge MA, TV actress (‘Kelly Kapoor’ on “The Office” since 2005)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Celebration Of the Senses”, when we’re encouraged to treat ourselves to stimulation of each of our 5 senses. What would be the best sensation for each? A few favorites …
– Smell … Just-baked cinnamon buns; new car aroma; freshly-bathed baby.
– Sight … The Seine at sunrise; the Rockies at sunset; the Mediterranean anytime.
– Touch … Cashmere sweaters; fluffy cats; warm Caribbean water on a winter’s day.
– Sound … Backyard birdsong in early morning; loved ones’ laughter; loons on a Canadian lake.
– Taste … HP sauce on grilled steak; dark, bittersweet chocolate; maple syrup on French toast.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/5zz8tu

• “International Fairy Day”, a holiday for believers, collectors, and the young at heart to celebrate all that is ‘Fae’ and reconnect with their imagination and child-like wonder.
NET: http://www.fairyday.com
BS NAME THAT FAIRY:
– She was a pal of “Peter Pan”. [Tinkerbell]
– She’s the inspiration for Tchaikovsky’s “Nutcracker Suite”. [Sugar Plum Fairy]
– She leaves money under your pillow. [Tooth Fairy].
– She’ll turn your pumpkin into a coach. [Fairy Godmother]
– She will take you to Manhattan. [Staten Island Ferry]

• “St-Jean Baptiste Day”, the “Fête Nationale” holiday in the province of Québec and in French Canadian communities across Canada. Besides Québec, St John the Baptist is also the patron saint of auto routes, candlemakers, health spas, road workers, and wool workers.

• “Swim a Lap Day”, the pool equivalent of ‘Walk a Block’, an easily achievable step to getting your fitness initiative underway.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1880 [130] 1st performance of “O Canada” (St-Jean Baptiste Day banquet in Québec City)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1923 [87] The ‘Peanut Butter Cup’ is invented by HB Reese (the cause of many a diet’s demise)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1973 [37] 15-year-old Marlene Raymond of Toronto limbos under a bar just 6 1/8 inches off the ground … a flaming bar

COMING UP . . .

[Fri] Take Your Dog to Work Day
[Fri] “Grown Ups” opens in movie theaters
[Fri-Sat] G8 Summit (Huntsville ON)
[Sat-Sun] G20 Summit (Toronto ON)
[Sat] Full ‘Strawberry’ Moon
[Sun] BET Awards (Los Angeles)
[Sun] Decide to Be Married Day
This Week Is … International Surf Music Month
This Month Is … Adopt a Shelter Cat Month

BULL’S BITS


BS WAYS TO MAKE THE WORLD CUP EVEN MORE EXCITING:
• Compile clips of all the groin shots for a YouTube video.
• Develop a hi-tech controller that allows fans to manipulate players on a game console.
• Let the ‘hooligans’ on the field.
• Replace the ball with a round pinata filled with angry hornets.
• Equip TV remotes with a ‘vuvuzela’ button.
• Score a goal, do a shot.
• Let ’em use their damn hands!
• Naked penalty kicks.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks 2 sizes.

BS PHONE STARTER:

Do break-ups have to be face-to-face? What would be the cruelest way to do it – text, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• What percentage of adults say they save spare change instead of spending it?
a. 5%
b. 35%
c. 75% [CORRECT]
– “USA Today”

• Which do more children prefer for lunch?
a. Hamburger.
b. Peanut butter & jelly sandwich. [CORRECT]
c. Hot dog.
– “Are You Normal?”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: More dog owners name their pets after THIS food than any other.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Oreo.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

If it ain’t broke, keep fixing it until it is.

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