Friday, June 24, 2022 — Edition: #7259

Here’s Sheet in Your Eye!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ US President Joe Biden, Vin Diesel, Billie Eilish and Ed Sheeran will appear on “The Late Late Show with James Corden” when it broadcasts from the UK next week. Corden will also be joined by Lizzo, Alanis Morissette, Sam Smith, Tessa Thompson John Boyega, David Harbour and Jamie Dornan for a special week of programs filmed at London’s Freemason’s Hall beginning Tuesday. The CBS talk show has gone across the pond 3 times before, but this is first time since 2019 due to the pandemic. Viewers will also see Corden take part in “Take A Break” as the 79-year-old commander-in-chief’s assistant, and there will also be a new installment of “Carpool Karaoke” with Lizzo. This news comes shortly after Corden revealed he is heading back to the UK on a permanent basis when he leaves The Late Late Show in 2023 after 8 years.
-Bang
★ Michael J. Fox will be given an honorary Oscar Award for his years of advocacy on behalf of Parkinson’s Disease patients. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced that Fox will be given the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award, which is presented to individuals who make “indelible contributions to cinema and the world at large.” Fox has suffered from Parkinson’s Disease himself since 1991. Other recipients of the award this year will include filmmaker Euzhan Palcy, songwriter Diane Warren and director Peter Weir. They will be presented at the Governors Awards on Nov. 19.
-PopCulture
★ Director Scott Derrickson was almost certain that Ethan Hawke would never agree to star in his new horror movie “The Black Phone.” But after getting Hawke on board, Derrickson said he now feels Hawke’s chilling, complex and sadistic performance in the film is part of an ongoing transformation for the actor, which he likens to the “McConaissance,” the so-called career transformation in the early 2010s when Matthew McConaughey went from a rom-com star to a sensational, Oscar-winning actor and beyond. Quote: “I think Ethan’s kind of having one of those moments right now where he’s really playing above the rim. He’s taking risky roles and doing things that are so daring and unique and different than what he’s done in the past.” The Black Phone hits theaters today.
-TheWrap
★ Donna Mills claims to be the blueprint for Grease’s ‘Sandy’. The TV icon, who is famous for her “Dallas” spin-off series “Knots Landing”, shared a video in which she dresses up as the character from the 1978 movie musical, a role made famous by Olivia Newton-John. In the clip, Mills says she was the “model” for the character. In the caption, she wrote: “Does the character Sandy from Grease look similar to me? Here’s why! Did you know that I went to school with Jim Jacobs?”, the musical’s co-writer. Mills added with a laugh that he “used me as his model for Sandy.” She goes on to say: “I didn’t know it at the time, but I found out years later, I was the original Sandy.”
-People

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Natalie Portman, B. Scott, Meghan Trainor featuring Teddy Swims, guest host Sean Hayes
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Julie Andrews, Hayden Christensen, Preacher Lawson
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Kaley Cuoco, Glen Powell, Bloc Party (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): D’Arcy Carden, Joe Russo (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Regina Spektor
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kevin Frazier, Nischelle Turner
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Ali Wentworth, George Stephanopoulos, Steve Patterson (R)
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jamie Dornan, Japanese Breakfast (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Alanis Morissette, Joe Alwyn, Tears for Fears (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Hailee Steinfeld (R)
• “NHL Playoffs” (CBC, SN, ABC): Stanley Cup final game #5: Tampa Bay @ Colorado
• “Come Dance With Me” (CBS): Season finale. The 3 final dance teams perform encores of the judges’ favorite routines and a new one, for a chance at the $100,000 prize.
• “The 49th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards” (CBS): Saluting excellence in daytime TV at the Pasadena Civic Center; Kevin Frazier and Nischelle Turner host; Michael Bolton performs.
• “The Great American Recipe” (PBS): Series premiere. 10 home cooks create dishes that express their unique stories and talents; plus, they put their own spin on regional dishes.

SATURDAY-
• “Masters of Illusion” (CW): Featured magicians include Levent, Murray SawChuck, The Clairvoyants, Jeff Hobson and My Uyen.
• “First Blood” (A&E): Premiere. In 1989, Richard Mallory is found shot dead off the side of a Florida highway, the first of 7 murdered men found in a similar setting; their predator is a woman fleeing from her troubled past.

SUNDAY-
• “Riverdale” (CW): As the gang plans an event celebrating 2 of their own, strange biblical plagues around town threaten to put a damper on the special day.
• “Dark Winds” (AMC): Leaphorn’s niece celebrates her Kinaaldá as Leaphorn retrieves the bodies of the murder victims; Manuelito and Chee search for the missing Mormon family.
• “NHL Playoffs” (CBC, SN, ABC): Stanley Cup final game #6: Colorado @ Tampa Bay (if necessary)

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lil Nas X – is promoting his new single with his usual style of humor. Tues, he tweeted a string of teasers, including one saying: “LATE TO DA PARTY w/ YOUNGBOY THIS FRIDAY!”, alongside pictures of him sitting on a toilet with his pants down and with a stack of cash pressed against his ear. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4jfy5aup
• Ed Sheeran – The artists who sued for copyright infringement over “Shape of You” have been ordered to pay him $1.1 million in legal fees. After Sheeran won the case in April, lawyers for Sami Chokri and  Ross O’Donoghue argued their clients shouldn’t have to cover the legal expenses of Sheeran and his co-defendants. The judge didn’t agree.
• Kate Bush – In an interview about the improbable resurgence of her 1985 song ‘Running Up That Hill’ after its use in “Stranger Things”, she revealed: “Originally it was written as the idea of a man and a woman swapping places with each other…to feel what it’s like from the other side.” The song’s original title was ‘A Deal With God’, but was changed due to record label pressure.
• Ozzy Osbourne – releases his new single ‘Patient Number 9’ today. A teaser for the song, which features an appearance by legendary guitarist Jeff Beck, was made available earlier in the week. It’s expected to appear on Ozzy’s new album, set to drop in Sept. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3rprudmw
• Alanis Morissette – has scrapped her November tour of Australia and New Zealand. In a note to fans, she said she’s “crestfallen” to have to cancel the 5 dates, and she’ll be “back as soon as we can”. Promoter Live Nation blamed “the unprecedented logistical challenges of global touring in 2022.” She’ll kick off the North American leg of her Jagged Little Pill anniversary tour in her native Ottawa on July 10.
• Zac Brown Band – have released a brand-new version of current single ‘Out in the Middle’, featuring Blake Shelton. It will appear on the recently announced deluxe version “The Comeback,” due this fall.
• Luke Combs — and his wife Nicole welcomed their first child⁠, a son named Tex Lawrence Combs, on Father’s Day. Luke shared a pic of the happy couple doting on their newborn in a nursery, writing: “Welp he decided that Father’s Day would be a good time to show up. I couldn’t agree more. Me and @nicolejcombs are over the moon in love with this little guy.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/44cv42yj
• Dolly Parton — revealed her secrets of success to the Wall Street Journal, saying that one of them is that she’s “usually up around 3 in the morning.” Quote: “I just love the wee hours…I go by the old saying, ‘Early to bed, early to rise.’ But even when I’m working late…I can wake up early. I just don’t require a lot of sleep.” The Dollywood founder is 76 years old.

SHOOTING THE BULL

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Elvis” (PG-13, Biography-Music): From his childhood in Tupelo to his rise to stardom beginning in Memphis and his conquering of Las Vegas, Elvis Presley becomes the first rock ‘n roll star and changes the world with his music. (Austin Butler, Tom Hanks, Olivia DeJonge)
• “The Black Phone” (R, Horror): After being abducted by a child killer and locked in a soundproof basement, a 13-year-old boy starts receiving calls on a disconnected phone from the killer’s previous victims. (Mason Thames, Ethan Hawke, Madeleine McGraw, Jeremy Davies)

NIGHT LIGHT:
Even dim light can disrupt sleep, raising the risk of serious health issues in older adults, a new study has found. Phyllis Zee, chief of sleep medicine at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago, says her team found “Exposure to any amount of light during the sleep period was correlated with the higher prevalence of diabetes, obesity and hypertension in both older men and women.” Further concerning matters is the fact that researchers were surprised to find that fewer than half of the people in the study regularly slept in darkness for at least 5 hours per night. The same team found earlier this year that among adults in their 20s, those who slept for even one night with a dim light, such as a muted TV, experienced higher blood pressure and a raised heart rate.
(Yeah, that’s called having kids!)
(So, it’s the TV’s fault! And this whole time, I thought the couch was the problem!)
-CNN

NEW DEVELOPMENTS:
➠ An effective new weight-loss pill could be on the way. Researchers at Stanford University say they have found an “anti-hunger” molecule, called Lac-Phe, which is normally only produced after an intense workout. After giving obese mice this molecule, they were not only found to have eaten 30% less, but also weighed less in the long term, and had a lower percentage of body fat and improved blood sugar regulation. The research could lead to the creation of a “a fat-fighting pill”, which would be used to “suppress appetite for those who cannot easily exercise because of other conditions (such as) aging or bone issues.” (Or in my case, couch issues!)
➠ Twitter is testing out a new feature that will let people go over the 280-character limit in a single piece of content. With the new feature, called “Notes”, users can include text — up to 2,500 words — as well as photos, videos and GIFs in one post. The Note card will show up in the Twitter timeline as a tweet that contains a preview of what’s in the longer post. Twitter has launched a public test of Notes with a small group of writers from the U.S., U.K., Canada and Ghana. (Who are currently wondering what the hell they can write about that’s 2,500 words long!)
-NYPost, Variety

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A Florida man’ pregnant dog scored him a $2 million-winning lottery ticket. 42-year-old Leonard Linton of Pinetta is celebrating with his best friend, Ivy, thanks to a $10 scratch ticket he picked up because of the expecting dachshund. Linton got a call that Ivy was not feeling well so to get to her as quickly as possible, he took a different route home. Along that route, he made a quick stop at a convenience store where, unbeknownst to him at the time, he purchased the winning ticket. Linton calls the win “life-changing”, and says “I’m definitely getting Ivy a new kennel!” (Certainly not the first guy ever to “blame the dog”!)
➢ UK police were flabbergasted after attempting to save what they thought was an elderly woman in distress — only to discover that the “victim” was actually a parrot yelling “help!” West Midlands Police received a report of an elderly person “shouting for help” inside her house in Sutton Coldfield. But when the team knocked in the door, they found the property empty, aside from a parrot in a cage in the living room. Soon after, the woman’s son arrived and told them that the bird was the one making the distress cries. A tweet from the police force detailing the hilarious mixup is currently blowing up on Twitter, complete with a pic of an officer posing with the pranking parrot. (The bird was only saying what we’ve all wanted to say after an hour in Grandma’s living room…) LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2p5hp8zc
-Canoe, NYPost

DID YOU KNOW?
Good news, stoners! Science is finally backing up what you’ve long known: that smoking weed does, in fact, make you nicer — and less greedy, to boot. In a recent study published in the journal Scientific Reports, University of New Mexico researchers found evidence that cannabis use makes people more empathetic, as well as less motivated by money. (Also, less motivated by ANYTHING!)
-Futurism

BS CHRONOMETER 06.24.22

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Celebration of the Senses”, when we’re encouraged to treat ourselves to stimulation of each of our 5 senses. What would be the best sensation for each?
• “Pralines Day”, saluting the sweet & creamy taste treat made from sugared pecans or almonds. Pralines were invented in France by Marshal du Plessis-Praslin (hence the name).
• “International Fairy Day”, a holiday for believers, collectors, and the young at heart to celebrate all that is ‘Fae’, and to reconnect with their imagination and child-like wonder.
• “St-Jean Baptiste Day”, the “Fête Nationale” holiday in the province of Québec and in French-Canadian communities across the country. Besides Québec, St John the Baptist is also the patron saint of auto routes, candlemakers, health spas, road workers, and wool workers.
• “Swim a Lap Day”, the pool equivalent of ‘Walk a Block’, an easily achievable step to getting your fitness initiative underway. (Or in my case, my drowning initiative!)
• “World UFO Day”, marking the anniversary of one of the first UFO sightings in the US, when Kenneth Arnold reported seeing 9 high-speed crescent-shaped objects near Mt. Rainier, WA in 1947. July 2 is the anniversary of the famous Roswell UFO incident, which also happened in 1947.
• “National Food Truck Day”, In 1872, Walter Scott came up with the lunch wagon. He cut windows in a small covered wagon and sold sandwiches, pies, and coffee to workers outside of a newspaper office in Providence RI, and from there, an institution known as “street meat” was born! (And who has better fries than a food truck?)
• “Take Your Dog to Work Day”, began in 1999 to celebrate companion dogs and to encourage adoptions. Since then, some offices have adopted office pets as well. (Why not? He could sleep all day, and still not be the least-productive one there…) LINK: http://takeyourdog.com

SATURDAY-
• “Leon Day” (‘Noel’ spelled backwards), observed exactly 6 months from Christmas, meaning we’re as far away from all that holiday rush and stress as we can be (and that you’ll start seeing Christmas stuff show up in stores in about 3 weeks…)
• “Catfish Day”, first initiated in 1987 to celebrate the value of farm-raised catfish. (Not the social media move where you pretend you’re someone you’re not, although it’s equally creepy…)
• “Day Of the Seafarer”, initiated by the International Maritime Organization to salute those in the shipping industry who bring us food, clothing, and other basic needs. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/k3fdjw
• “Global Beatles Day”, celebrating the phenomenon of The Beatles and their long-lasting gifts to the world, including the promotion of peace and love. Held on the date that, in 1967, the group participated in the BBC program “Our World” performing ‘All You Need Is Love’, in the first-ever live global television link (broadcast to 26 countries). LINK: http://globalbeatlesday.com
• “World Vitiligo Day”, to build awareness of the chronic condition characterized by areas of skin losing pigment. The disfiguring disease can have a negative social and psychological impact on patients. (Michael Jackson, who died on this date in 2009, suffered from vitiligo.)
• “Color TV Day”, this date in 1951, CBS broadcast the first color television show, “Premiere”. The variety show included Arthur Godfrey, Ed Sullivan, Garry Moore and Robert Alda. (Unfortunately, almost no one had a color TV to watch it on, but they had to start somewhere…)
• “Great American Campout”, The goal is to get as many people to camp outside tonight, and throughout the summer. It’s also “Great American Picnic Day”, so that works out nicely.
• “Global Smurfs Day”, on the Sat. closest to the June 25 birthday of the Smurfs’ creator Peyo (Pierre Culliford). He died in 1992 at age 64, having lived long enough to see his creation achieve massive success. Today, Smurfs are celebrated all around the world!

SUNDAY-
• “Beautician’s Day”, a chance to show your appreciation to those who make you look beautiful. That includes your hairstylist, manicurist, esthetician (and Photoshop…).
• “Chocolate Pudding Day”, celebrating the ooey-gooey dessert most toddlers like to eat … with their hands.
• “Tropical Cocktails Day”, don’t forget to add a few frilly umbrellas for extra flair!
• “National Canoe Day” in Canada. The canoe has been chosen as one of the “Seven Wonders of Canada”. (And no, Justin Bieber is not another one of them!) Quote: “A true Canadian is one who can make love in a canoe without tipping.” – Pierre Berton
• “Descendants’ Day”, encouraging us to think about the kind of world we want to leave for our descendants and “neighbors across time,” and to take into account how our activities impact future generations.

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [78] Jeff Beck, Surrey England, rock guitarist (The Jeff Beck Group, The Yardbirds, and has played on albums by Rod Stewart, Mick Jagger, Tina Turner, Jon Bon Jovi and many more)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 1992 (The Yardbirds), 2009 (solo)/will release “18”, a collab with Johnny Depp, on July 15

1947 [75] Mick Fleetwood, Redruth England, classic rock drummer (Fleetwood Mac –‘Dreams’, Go Your Own Way’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 1998

1961 [61] Iain Glen, Edinburgh Scotland, TV actor (‘Ser Jorah Mormont’ on “Game of Thrones” 2011-19)/movie actor (“Resident Evil” films)

1961 [61] Curt Smith, Bath England, rock bassist-vocalist (Tears For Fears-‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’, ‘Shout’)

1979 [43] Mindy Kaling [Chokalingam], Cambridge MA, TV actress (“The Mindy Project 2012-17, “The Office” 2005-13)/best-selling author (“Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?”)

1980 [42] Minka Kelly, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (“Titans” since 2018, “Friday Night Lights” 2006-09)

1986 [36] Solange Knowles, Houston TX, R&B singer (‘Cranes in the Sky’)/actress/model/younger sister of Beyoncé

1987 [34] Lionel Messi, Rosario Argentina, soccer superstar (Paris Saint-Germain, Argentina team captain)/Guinness World Record as top goal scorer for club and country in a calendar year: 91 goals in 2012

SATURDAY- Carly Simon (‘You’re So Vain’) is 77; Jimmie Walker (“Good Times”) is 75; Tim Finn (Split Enz) is 70; Ricky Gervais (“The Office”) is 61; Retired NHLer Doug Gilmour is 59; Angela Kinsey (“The Office”) is 51; Mike Kroeger (Nickelback) is 50; Linda Cardellini (“Bloodline”) is 47; Busy Philipps (“Cougar Town”) is 43

SUNDAY- Mark McKinney (“Superstore”) is 63; Chris O’Donnell (“NCIS: Los Angeles”) is 52; Sean Hayes (“Will & Grace”) is 52; Nick Offerman (“Parks & Recreation”) is 52; Gretchen Wilson (‘Redneck Woman’) is 49; Retired baseball pro Derek Jeter is 48; Ryan Tedder (OneRepublic) is 43; Aubrey Plaza (“Parks & Recreation”) is 38; Ariana Grande (‘thank u, next’) is 29

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [16] “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”, starring Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom, premieres at Disneyland, and later becomes the fastest film to gross $1 billion

2010 [12] Megan Fox weds “Beverly Hills 90210” actor Brian Austin Green in Hawaii (They split in 2020, and you may have heard she’s now engaged to Machine Gun Kelly…)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2012 [10] Billboard names Olivia Newton-John’s 1982 hit ‘Physical’ “The Sexiest Song of All-Time” (c’mon, seriously?)

2014 [08] The original lyrics to ‘Like a Rolling Stone’, handwritten by Bob Dylan on hotel stationery, sell for $2 million at auction

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2010 [12] American John Isner finally defeats Nicolas Mahut of France at Wimbledon in the longest match in pro tennis history (11 hours, 5 minutes of play over 3 days, final score 70-68 after 183 games)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Frogs sometimes eat enough fireflies that they themselves glow.
✓ The closest living relative to the T-rex is the chicken.
✓ The first household refrigerators cost about US $16,000, in today’s money.
✓ More boys than girls are born during the day; more girls are born at night.
✓ You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.
✓ The average person will grow 6.5 feet (2 meters) of nose hair in their lifetime.
-RandomFactGenerator, BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS IT’S BEEN A LONG WEEK:
• You can’t even be bothered making the sandwich; you just eat the ingredients separately.
• The coffee isn’t working, so you start eating it from the jar.
• You take a screenshot on your phone to show a friend the crack on the screen.
• May feels like it was months ago.
• You ran out of alcohol on Wednesday night.
• You haven’t had to delete your browser history once this week.
• You just microwaved your muffin for 37 minutes…
• You spent half of Thursday morning frantically searching for motivational quotes.
• You’ve used the phrase “This has never happened before” more than 3 times since Monday.
• You aren’t even sure if it’s Friday.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

BS WHAT I LEARNED FROM SPORTS:
• The only thing more boring than watching golf on TV is actually playing it.
• Apparently, football and football are 2 different things, depending on where you live.
• It gives you something other than the weather to talk about.
• Rub some dirt on it. You’ll be alright.
• Drake is the most irritating sports fan in the history of sports fandom.
• How to feign interest.
• You can be over 6½ feet tall and still suck at basketball.
• All of them are better with wings and beer.
• Women’s Beach Volleyball is the greatest sport in the history of bums…I mean sports…
• They are completely unnecessary because everybody gets a ribbon now anyway…
• If winning matters to you, you don’t want me on your team.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

BS WEB GOODIE:
…and the background’s even funnier:  https://tinyurl.com/358hhfex

BS RANDOM JOKE:
We only use 10% of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60%!

BS PHONE STARTER:
What group of items could you buy that would make the cashier the most uncomfortable?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  When people were asked to name a food they love, but just can’t handle in the morning, the #1 answer was fish. What was #2?
Answer:  Spaghetti

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness.