BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Rocker Sebastian Bach (ex-Skid Row) has signed on to appear on the upcoming 6th season of David Duchovny’s TV drama “Californication” (Showtime), playing – a rock star (something he’s never quite achieved in real life) . . . “Star Wars” creator George Lucas tells “Empire” magazine that he’s set to turn his back on Hollywood and retire to his ‘garage’ and make small-scale, low-budget movies just for fun (‘cause he already has a hundred-kajillion dollars) . . . Facebook honcho Mark Zuckerberg’s billions keep shrinking – poor guy – but is that a good excuse to skate on a tip after a recent romantic dinner in Italy? (Status Update: Cheapo!) . . . In the new issue of “Interview” magazine, Charlize Theron interviews “Snow White & The Huntsman” co-star Kristen Stewart, who says she knows we all think she’s ‘super-ungrateful’ (but still refuses to quit looking dour for one single sec) . . . Fashion maven Jessica Simpson is on this week’s cover of “People” magazine with daughter Maxwell (?!?!?), proving that her baby looks like a baby (but helped mommy pocket a reported $850-k photo fee) . . . Simpson’s also confirmed she has a new deal as a Weight Watchers spokesperson that’s said to be paying her an unconfirmed $4 million (so much moolah for such little talent) . . . And 86-year-old “Playboy” founder Hugh Hefner has let his 26-year-old ex-fiancée Crystal Harris move back into the Playboy Mansion, even though she unceremoniously dumped him just a week before their wedding last June and that’s apparently caused Hef’s current #1 girlfriend, Shera Berchard, to move out in a huff (how do you spell doddering as in ‘doddering old fool’?).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Adele Live in London” (NBC) – Sunday the mega-star pop singer talks about her experiences in the year following the release of her 2nd album, “21”.
• “The British Beat” (PBS) – Saturday night a special featuring archival film and new live performances of ‘British Invasion’ hits from the 1960s. (Experience Dave Clark at age 98.)
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Jason Mraz (“Love Is a Four Letter Word”). Rerun.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Brad Paisley (“This Is Country Music”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight Kimbra (“Vows”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Big KRIT (“Live From the Underground”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Kaiser Chiefs (“Start the Revolution Without Me”). Rerun.
• “Miss USA Pageant” (NBC) – Sunday contestants vie for the crown in the 61st annual competition; Andy Cohen (“Watch What Happens Live”) & Giuliana Rancic (“E! News”) host at the Theater For the Performing Arts in Las Vegas. The winner goes on to “Miss Universe 2012”.
• “MTV Movie Awards” (MTV) – Sunday Russell Brand hosts the 2012 edition live from the Gibson Amphitheatre in Universal City, California. “Bridesmaids” and “The Hunger Games” lead nominations with 8 apiece. Performers include Black Keys, DJ Martin Solveig, fun, and Wiz Khalifa. Awards are voted on by fans, although breakthrough actors are decided by a panel of film directors.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Zooey Deschanel (“New Girl”); musical guest Karmin (“Hello”). Rerun.
• “Today Show” (NBC): Today the Band Perry (“The Band Perry”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Beirut (“The Rip Tide”). Rerun.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today country star Joe Nichols (“It’s All Good”) & wife Heather Nichols talk about the 5 miscarriages she suffered prior to the birth of a healthy baby girl April 17th.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – Her home in Camden, north London where she died last Summer has been put up for sale for $4.3 million. Her parents were said to be using it as headquarters for a charity set up in her name, but it’s now been revealed that they’re selling the property.
• Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – This week at their SRO “Wrecking Ball Tour” concert at the Olympic Stadium in Berlin, Germany, Springsteen referred to the world’s bankers as ‘greedy thieves’ and ‘robber barons’.
• Elton John – After recovering from a severe respiratory infection, he’s expected to kick off his Summer tour tonight in Germany as scheduled. He’s also slated to be a part of the “Queen’s Diamond Jubilee Concert” at Buckingham Palace on Monday.
• John Mayer – His new album “Born & Raised” has debuted at #1, according to Nielsen SoundScan. It’s the 3rd chart-topping album of his career.
• Justin Bieber – His first network TV special will be called “All Around the World” but it will only air in North America on June 21st (NBC).
• Katy Perry – Russell Brand has asked that any footage involving his relationship with his former wife be cut from her new documentary-concert film “Part of Me” (opening July 5th). But Katy has apparently decided to keep whatever she wants in the film. (So there!)
• Kenny Chesney / Tim McGraw – Saturday their 19-date “Brothers Of the Sun” stadium tour gets underway at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida. It’s the first time in 10 years they’ve toured together. Grace Potter & The Nocturnals and Jake Owen are the opening acts.
• No Doubt – They’ll reunite onstage for the 1st time in 2-and-a-half years with a performance at the “2012 Teen Choice Awards” July 22nd. Their 6th studio album is set for release September 25th. (Their last album came out in 2001 … what teen will have even heard of them?)
• Rihanna – She’s posed topless for the cover of the new issue of UK “Esquire”, with only her strategically-placed arms blocking the view. She wears a net bra in a 2nd shot and shows off her curves in low-cut underwear in another. (Dad must be so proud.)
• The Roots – Their 5th annual “Roots Picnic” takes place in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Saturday and Sunday with eclectic music on 2 stages from the likes of De La Soul, Kid Cudi, St Vincent, and Wale.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Battlefield America” ( PG-13 Musical Drama ): A young businessman who lands a community service sentence falls in with a group of misfit kids who need mentoring. With the help of a pro instructor, he works to get the group ready for a big underground dance competition. Stars Marques Houston, Mekia Cox, Christopher Jones.
NET: http://www.battlefieldamericamovie.com
• “Piranha 3DD” ( R-Rated Horror Comedy ): A prehistoric school of blood-thirsty piranhas make their way into a newly opened waterpark. Features ‘The Hoff’ (David Hasselhoff) as an evil lifeguard; Ving Rhames with machine guns instead of legs; Christopher Lloyd, playing vintage Christopher Lloyd; and off-his-rocker Gary Busey.
NET: http://piranha-3d.com
• “Snow White & The Huntsman” ( PG-13 Fantasy Adventure ): The traditional fairytale is twisted and retold in live action with ‘Snow White’ as a warrior princess; a fresh plot (the Huntsman ends up becoming her protector); and loads of violent action. Stars Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth.
NET: http://www.snowwhiteandthehuntsman.com
• Opening in limited release: “Apartment 143”, “For Greater Glory”, “Hide Away”, “High School”, and “The Loved Ones”.

TENTACLES TO THE RESCUE:
Italian scientists have created a working robotic ‘tentacle’ which can squeeze into tight spots and even has suckers. It’s the first ‘soft robot’ limb that can grasp objects. It’s part of a project to create a full-bodied synthetic sea creature which could be used to save people trapped underwater. (Now there’s a thriller movie in the making!)
– “Daily Mail”

YOU NEED TO GET OUT MORE:
Whether it’s smog or tiny particles of pollution, we face the bulk of our health risks from bad air inside. Why? We spend most of our time indoors. The highest levels of these chemicals have been registered in new buildings. But now researchers have found them in a place we might not want them … in our blood. For instance, a variety of chemicals used to help carpets and furniture resist stains has been found in the blood samples of 31 Boston office workers. (We’re just dying to go to work.)
– “Scientific American”

PAIN PROMPTS GIVING:
A new study has found an intriguing answer to what makes people contribute to a cause … pain. In experiments, people proved more willing to donate to a charity if the prospective fundraiser took the form of a long-distance run rather than a picnic. And when people decided how much of their money to contribute, they gave significantly more when told the contribution also required immersing their hands in ice-cold water for a minute. (If you’re canvassing door-to-door, be sure to carry a pail.)
– “Boston Globe”

ALL THE WINE IN CHINA:
The Chinese are developing a taste for French wines. In addition to buying them by the case, they’ve also started buying the vineyards where their favorite vintages are produced. As well as investing, they’re developing winemaking in China, which is now the world’s 7th-largest producer. They are even creating chateaux and vineyards that look just like the ones in France. A wine made in China recently won a major international award in the Bordeaux category, beating its French rivals in a blind-tasting. (By the way, ‘wino’ in Chinese is ‘hone chee uh ah’.)
– BBC News

BS AMAZING HEALTH FACTS:
• People involved in frequent family quarrels also are sick more and spend more on healthcare.
– Duke University Medical Center
• Friends who make friends with others trying to lose weight have a higher likelihood of losing weight themselves.
– “Globe & Mail”

BS CHRONOMETER 06.01.12

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [75] Morgan Freeman, Memphis TN, movie actor (“The Dark Knight”, Academy Award-“Million Dollar Baby”)/advertising pitch-voice (VISA)  COMING UP: “The Dark Knight Rises”, opening July 20th.

1947 [65] Ronnie Wood, Hillingdon UK, classic rock guitarist (Rolling Stones since 1975, The Faces 1970-73, Jeff Beck Group 1968-70)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1953 [59] Ronnie Dunn, Coleman TX, country singer (“Bleed Red”, Brooks & Dunn-“Red Dirt Road”)

1973 [39] Heidi Klum [‘kloom’], Bergisch-Gladbach, Germany, fashion model/TV host (“Project Runway” since 2004, “Germany’s Next Top Model” since 2006)/wed to singer Seal (2005-12)

1974 [38] Alanis Morissette, Ottawa ON, pop singer (“You Oughta Know”, “Hand in My Pocket”)/”Jagged Little Pill” album (1995) sold over 33 million units worldwide

SATURDAY –
Classic rock drummer Charlie Watts (Rolling Stones) is 71; Actor-comedian Dana Carvey (“Jack & Jill”) is 57; NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is 60; TV personality Wayne Brady (“Let’s Make a Deal”) is 40; Movie-TV actor Zachary Quinto (“Star Trek”) is 35; Rock drummer-vocalist Fabrizio Moretti (The Strokes) is 32.

SUNDAY –
Cuban president Raul Castro (Fidel’s li’l bro) is 81; TV personality Anderson Cooper (“Anderson”) is 45; Country singer Jamie O’Neal (“There Is No Arizona”) is 44; Tennis player Rafael Nadal is 26.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Atlantic, Caribbean & Gulf Hurricane Season” begins and continues through November 30th. Forecasters predict the 2012 season will be ‘near-normal’, with 9-to-15 named storms, 4-to-8 hurricanes, 1-to-3 of which will be major. Storms are named in order from alphabetical lists. This year’s first 5 will be ‘Alberto’, ‘Beryl’, ‘Chris’, ‘Debby’, and ‘Ernesto’. (‘Hurricane Chris’ doesn’t sound very fierce, but then ‘Katrina’ also sounded cute when we first heard it.)
• “Go Barefoot Day”, a day to enjoy the comforts and pleasant sensations of shedding footwear. Why? Because it feels great! The members of the ‘Society For Barefoot Living’ believe you should go barefoot all the time.
NET: http://www.barefooters.org
• “Heimlich Maneuver Day”, honoring the ‘abdominal thrust’ method of stopping choking, first described by Dr Henry Heimlich in a June 1974 article in the journal “Emergency Medicine”. Dr Edward Patrick, a Heimlich associate, claims to be the procedure’s uncredited co-developer.
• “Leave the Office Early Day”, a day for pros to work harder, finish quicker, and get home early to spend more time with their families. (Then see if they get let back in the office Monday.)
• “Say Something Nice Day”, a day to thank someone, encourage someone, compliment everyone. Remember, if you can’t say something nice … mum’s the word!
• “World Milk Day”, initiated by the UN’s Food & Agriculture Organization to focus attention on milk and the milk industry. (Humans are the only animal that drinks another animal’s milk.)
NET: http://www.worldmilkday.com

SATURDAY –
• “Bubba Day”, honoring those formally named or just informally called ‘Bubba’. (We’re betting most of ‘em live in ‘Dixie’.)
• “The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee”, a 3-day nationwide celebration in the UK to mark Queen Elizabeth II’s 60 years on the throne. The historic occasion is designed to allow Brits to show their pride and affection for her nibs. An extra holiday on Monday is being thrown in as a bit of bribery. Paul McCartney headlines a special concert in front of Buckingham Palace on Monday. (As everyone knows, spending a long time on the throne can be an agony.)
• “Take a Kid Fishing Weekend”. Even if they aren’t biting, everyone can have a good time outdoors in the fresh air. (Sorry li’l dude, but you gotta bait your own hook.)
• “Trails Day”, celebrating nature trails as a great way to experience the outdoors by hiking, biking, horseback riding, etc.
• “Yell Fudge At the Cobras in North America Day”. To keep the poisonous snakes off the continent, you’re supposed to go outdoors at noon and yell ‘fudge!’ (Seems to be working!)

SUNDAY –
• “Cancer Survivors Day”, the 25th annual worldwide celebration of life that is held in hundreds of communities on the 1st Sunday in June. Famous cancer survivors include actresses Christina Applegate, Cynthia Nixon, and Suzanne Somers; figure skater Scott Hamilton; singers Melissa Etheridge, Olivia Newton-John, and Sheryl Crow; TV personality Sharon Osbourne.
NET: http://www.ncsdf.org
• “Pull Your Pants Up Day”. Whatever your reason – out-of-style hip-hop fan; quick weight-loss; plumber – just do it, okay? The world thanks you!
• “Repeat Day”, an annual opportunity to do things over again … just because you want to. It’s a good excuse to double-snack, repeat activities that are fun, etc. (2nd time’s always best, right?)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [03] Conan O’Brien debuts as host of NBC-TV’s “Tonight Show” (steps down after 7 months due to a dispute with the network … and a $33-million payoff)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1967 [45] The Beatles release the classic, “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”, which goes on to top album charts all over the world

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1938 [74] ‘Superman’ first appears in “Action Comics” (his illustrator, Toronto artist Joe Shuster, later sells his rights to the character for $130)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2002 [10] 16 skydivers set a new world record by jumping simultaneously from a hot-air balloon 10,000 ft (3,048 m) over Peterborough, England and landing safely on 6,000 rolls of bathroom tissue (a publicity stunt)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Full ‘Strawberry’ Moon
[Mon] Do-Dah Day
[Tues] Hot Air Balloon Day
[Wed] CMT Music Awards
[Wed] Drive-in Movie Day
This Week Is … Fishing Week
This Month Is … International Men’s Month

BULL’S BITS

BS LAWS OF GOLF:
● Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever.
● The more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
● Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
● The last 3 holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
● All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset of the same day.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ ‘Fess up! What unusual item have you returned to a store for a refund after having used it?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Fishing is just an excuse to drink in the daytime.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: About 70% of shoppers say THIS really annoys them.
Answer: Being pitched an extended warranty.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.