The Bull Sheet

June 14, 2013

Friday, June 14, 2013        Edition: #5007

100% Grade A Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✳ A new report suggests Kardashian family momager Kris Jenner (57) and her 20-year husband Bruce Jenner (63) may be heading toward divorce as he’s now moved into a Malibu CA beach house on his own … permanently. The problem? An inside source claims she’s nasty to him and he’s also been complaining that they never have sex. (She likely doesn’t stop talking long enough.)
– “In Touch Weekly”
✳ Superstar soccer stud Cristiano Ronaldo partied until 3 am in Miami FL the other night amid rumors he may leave Real Madrid as he’s been frustrated with the Spanish club ever since joining it in 2009. Ronaldo, who is dating “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit model Irina Shayk, was spotted with an all-female entourage at the W South Beach hotel. Monaco’s soccer team is reportedly willing to offer him €20 million ($26.6 million) per year. (To give you an idea of where this guy’s head is at – he has a gigantic nude painting hanging in his home … of himself.)
– “Page Six”
✳ There are many reasons to believe that film stars earn too much. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie once hired an entire train to travel from London to Glasgow. Tom Cruise’s daughter Suri is reputed to have a wardrobe worth $400,000. Nicolas Cage once paid $276,000 for a dinosaur head. He would have got it for less … but he was bidding against Leonardo DiCaprio. (When they make a bad movie, shouldn’t they give the money back? Cage would owe millions!)
– “Intelligent Life Magazine”
✳ And what happens to reality TV ‘stars’ after they aren’t? It’s been 3 years since Vienna Girardi was picked out as the villain on Jake Pavelka’s season of “The Bachelor” (ABC). After going through 2 very public breakups – first with fiancé Jake, then with boyfriend Kasey Kahl (“The Bachelorette”) – Vienna says she’s happy to have returned to living a normal life. She says she’s now single, 35 lbs heavier, and – oh yeah – she hates reality TV. (Join the club!)
– RadarOnline.com

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Borgias” (SHOW) – Sunday’s episode will now serve as the series finalé as the period drama has been cancelled. Jeremy Irons earned a Golden Globe nomination for his portrayal of Pope Alexander VI in the series.
• “Daytime Emmy Awards” (HLN) – Sunday in LA, the 40th annual salute to the best of daytime TV. “The Young & The Restless” leads overall nominations with 7. Little Big Town is nominated for ‘Outstanding Original Song’ for “Good Afternoon” (“Good Afternoon America” theme) as is Sheryl Crow for “This Day” (theme for Katie Couric’s talk show). “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” goes head-to-head with “The Talk” and “The View” for ‘Outstanding Talk Show/Entertainment’.
NET: http://www.emmyonline.org/daytime
• Download Festival (Leicestershire UK) – The annual 3-day rock fest at Donnington Park motor speedway includes Alice In Chains, Iron Maiden, Queens Of the Stone Age, Thirty Seconds to Mars and literally dozens more.
NET: http://www.downloadfestival.co.uk
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Carly Rae Jepsen (“Curiosity”) performs.
• Isle of Wight Festival (Isle of Wight UK) – The 11th annual weekend rock fest at Seaclose Park is headlined by Stone Roses tonight, The Killers Saturday, and Bon Jovi on Sunday. Organizers are promising better facilities after last year’s mud bath.
NET: http://www.isleofwightfestival.com
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight ZZ Ward (“Til the Casket Drops”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Ariana Grande f/Mac Miller (“Daydreamin’”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Today Avril Lavigne (“Here’s to Never Growing Up”).
• “MuchMusic Video Awards” (MUCH/Fuse) – Sunday Psy hosts Canada’s annual music video awards from Toronto. Rock band Marianas Trench leads nominations with 6, followed by Drake with 5. Appearances by Avril Lavigne, Demi Lovato, Ed Sheeran, Phillip Phillips, Taylor Swift.
NET: http://mmva.muchmusic.com
• NBA Finals (ABC) – Sunday game 5 from the AT&T Center in San Antonio TX.
• “Today Show (NBC) – This morning Maroon 5 (“Overexposed”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Boxer Rebellion (“Promises”).
• “True Blood” (HBO) – Sunday Anna Paquin & Stephen Moyer return in the 6th season premiere of the slick and sexy vampire show.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today guest co-host Harry Connick Jr (“Every Man Should Know”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Sunday a rerun of this week’s elimination show featuring performances by Fall Out Boy, Nicholas David, Terry McDermott, and Tony Lucca.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Justin Bieber – Here’s a twosome that deserves each other. The Biebs and Miley Cyrus have been spotted flirting at a popular LA hotspot, just before leaving the club together. They’ve apparently been friends for years. Could it be they’ve cranked up the relationship a notch?
• Kanye West – After denying those recent reports that he cheated on Kim Kardashian, he reportedly skipped town without her to play a surprise show at “Art Basel” in Switzerland.
• Mumford & Sons – Bassist Ted Dwane is recovering well after waking up following brain surgery, according to his father. Dwane was hospitalized on Monday to undergo an emergency operation to treat a blood clot on his brain.
• Queens Of the Stone Age – “… Like Clockwork” is the new top-selling album, according to Nielsen SoundScan. It’s the band’s 1st-ever #1 seller and it’s also atop charts in Australia and Ireland.
• Toby Keith – Tonight his “Hammer Down Tour” gets underway in Cincinnati OH. Also on the bill: Drake White and Kip Moore.
• The Wanted – Max George has confirmed that Justin Bieber will make an appearance on their upcoming as-yet-untitled album, the follow-up to 2011’s “Battleground”. The disc is due in September.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Man of Steel” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): Another reboot of the franchise that director Bryan Singer couldn’t quite relaunch 7 years ago. Henry Cavill plays the soon-to-be-superhero as he confronts his secret extraterrestrial heritage when Earth is invaded by members of his race. Co-stars Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Diane Lane.
NET: http://manofsteel.warnerbros.com/index.html
• Opening in limited release: “Berberian Sound Studio” (Horror Thriller); “20 Feet from Stardom” (Musical Documentary).

UNUSUAL THEME PARKS AROUND-THE-WORLD:
• Alien Apex Resort – This New Mexico attraction includes a show recreating the 1947 Roswell UFO incident using music, fireworks, and special effects. Or try the “Alien Abduction” ride.
• Diggerland – With 4 locations throughout England, it’s all about adventures using real construction vehicles such as diggers, dump trucks, and cranes. Put on your hard-hat!
• Grutas Park – Sometimes known as “Stalin’s World” or “The Park of Totalitarianism”, this Lithuanian attraction is surrounded by barbed wire and watch towers.
• Haw Par Villa – Located in Singapore, it’s centers on Chinese folklore, with creepy dioramas depicting blue demons and grotesque sights of the many punishments for sinners.
• Love Land – Opened in Chongqing, China in 2009, the adult-only park filled with giant statues of private parts performing in various positions was eventually demolished for being too racy.
• Memory Village – A park in Haiti offering the chance to experience life as a slave. Participants don traditional slave clothing, then are kidnapped, chained, and forced to load a slave ship.
• World Chocolate Wonderland – Opened in Beijing in 2010, its exhibits are completely carved out of chocolate, from a BMW to the Great Wall of China to the famous Terracotta Warriors.
– Condensed from MindJunker.com

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
✗ When the radial tires on their van became so bald the steel belts were showing, a Rich Square NC couple agreed to … rent a set. The contract with a dubious business called Rent-N-Roll requires them to pony up $54.60-a-month for 18 months to rent the 4 tires. That works out to $982, almost triple what it would cost to buy the same set at Walmart. (Renting rubber makes about as much sense as renting rubbers.)
– LATimes.com
✗ Do unicorns really exist? According to Turkish officials, they do. A 9-year-old English girl was admitted into Turkey with a ‘passport’ that bore a picture of a unicorn instead of her. The ‘documentation’ came from a stuffed toy sold by a UK ‘Build-A-Bear’ store. The girl innocently gave it to Turkish customs officials, who inattentively stamped it, thus giving the magical creature official approval. (Turn up with a real passport and they give you a body cavity search.)
– NYPost.com
✗ Just when a Canadian Wendy’s restaurant in Brandon, Manitoba was getting the most publicity it’s ever had, its burger buzz has been killed. HuffingtonPost.com reported this week that the outlet has exclusively been serving what it calls the ‘T-Rex Burger’, a 9-patty monstrosity priced at $21.99, for the past 9 years … even though it’s not listed on the menu. Wendy’s head office has now ordered the franchise to cease and desist, saying: “Wendy’s neither promotes nor condones the eating of a 9-patty burger in one sitting.” (At least that’s what founder Dave Thomas always said … before he died of a heart attack.)
– CNEWS

A WHOLE LOT OF BEER MONEY:
“The Internship”, the currently-screening movie about Google interns, may be a giant dud but the actual job sure isn’t. Google’s interns are paid an average of $5,800 a month during a 3-month internship. Software-engineering interns earn the highest wages, sometimes netting $20,000 in a single summer. A Google rep says that’s because the company’s interns are tasked with real work assignments instead of the menial duties often associated with intern jobs. (They not only get the coffee … they decide WHERE to get the coffee.)
– GlassDoor.com

DID YOU KNOW?
The human nose, pressed to the ground like a dog’s, is sensitive enough to track a scent laid in an open field.
– BBC.co.uk

BS CHRONOMETER 06.14.13


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [67] Donald Trump, NYC, TV reality show host (“The [Celebrity] Apprentice” since 2004)/real estate billionaire (Trump Tower/Plaza/Castle)/author (“The Art Of the Deal”)

1988 [25] Kevin McHale, Plano TX, TV actor (‘Artie Abrams’ on “Glee” since 2009)

1989 [24] Lucy Hale, Memphis TN, TV actress (‘Aria Montgomery’ on “Pretty Little Liars” since 2010)

SATURDAY –
TV actor Jim Belushi (“According to Jim”) is 59; Movie actress Helen Hunt (“As Good As It Gets”) is 50; TV actress Courteney Cox (“Cougar Town”) is 49; Country guitarist Michael Britt (Lonestar) is 47; Movie actor Ice Cube (“Are We There Yet?”) is 44; TV actor Neil Patrick Harris (“How I Met Your Mother”) is 40; Alt-rock singer Gary Lightbody (Snow Patrol) is 37; Pop-rock Guitarist Billy Martin (Good Charlotte) is 32.

SUNDAY –
Movie actor John Cho (“Star Trek”) is 41; TV actress Sibel Kekilli (“Game of Thrones”) is 33; TV actress Missy Peregrym (“Rookie Blue”) is 31; Pop-rock bassist Ian Keaggy (Hot Chelle Rae) is 26; R&B-pop singer Keshia Chanté (“Does He Love Me?”) is 25.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “American Flag Day”, commemorating John Adams’ 1777 recommendation to Congress that the ‘Stars & Stripes’ be adopted as America’s flag.
• “Avon Heritage Duct Tape Festival”, the 10th annual in Avon OH, home to the manufacturer of Duck Brand Duct Tape. Weekend festivities are highlighted by a ‘Duct Tape Fashion Show’.
NET: http://www.avonducktapefestival.com
• “Family History Day”, a day to ‘share the folklore, legends and myths of your family tree’.
• “World Blood Donor Day”, the 8th annual dedicated to thanking and celebrating voluntary blood donors around-the-globe. It occurs on the birthday of Karl Landsteiner, creator of the A-B-O blood grouping system, for which he won the Nobel Prize in 1930.
• “Work@Home Father’s Day”, held the Friday before “Father’s Day” to honor fathers ‘who work from home as a means of providing balance between professional satisfaction and family interaction’. They’d be saluted Sunday like other dads except … they’ll likely be working.

SATURDAY –
• “Global Wind Day”, a worldwide event that occurs annually on June 15th. It’s a day for promoting wind, its power, and the possibilities it holds to change our world.
NET: http://www.globalwindday.org
• “National Man Day”, begun by a pair of Indiana guys in 2008 and popularized via Facebook and their website.
NET: http://www.thereturnofman.com
• “Nature Photography Day”, saluting a favorite hobby of camera buffs. (Please, show us those 8,200 photos of squirrels again?)
• “Smile Power Day”, recognizing the 2nd-best thing you can do with your lips.
• “Trooping the Colour” (aka “Queen’s Birthday Parade”), the annual official celebration of Queen Eleizabeth II’s birthday in London on a specified Saturday in June. (Far better weather than her actual birthday in April.)
• “World Elder Abuse Awareness Day”, the 7th annual when we’re encouraged to show the world we care about ending elder abuse and neglect by wearing something purple for the day.
NET: http://www.inpea.net/weaad.html
• “World Gin Day”, the excuse for the annual “Ginstock” celebration in London. Hic.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/nxhfxre
• “World Juggling Day”. You can create the sound of juggling with your co-host by slapping your knees quickly and throwing in lots of grunts and interjections like ‘Hey!’.
NET: http://www.juggle.org/wjd

SUNDAY –
• “Father’s Day”, first proclaimed by the mayor of Spokane WA 103 years ago (June 19, 1910) at the request of one Louise Smart Dodd. It’s now celebrated in about 20 countries, including Britain, Canada, and the USA on the 3rd Sunday of June. “Father’s Day” in Australia & NZ will be celebrated September 1st this year. An estimated $1 billion is now spent each year on “Father’s Day” gifts. (A great tradition or just another day of forced obligation?)
• “Fresh Veggies Day”, encouraging us to add variety to our meals with healthful fresh-picked vegetables. (Which veg tastes worse? Broccoli? Parsnips? Rapini?)
• “Fudge Day”, celebrating the ooey-gooey treat that can be inhaled warm or cold. Fudge is said to be a result of the late-night cravings of Vassar College girls in the early 20th century.
• “International Day Of the African Child”, first initiated by the Organization of African Unity in 1991. It honors those who participated in the Soweto Uprising on this date in 1976. In South Africa, it’s celebrated as “Youth Day”.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [10] Queen Elizabeth II makes Helen Mirren a ‘Dame’ (Mirren goes on to win an Academy Award for ‘Best Actress’ by playing QE2 in the 2006 film “The Queen”)

2011 [02] The long-delayed, problem-plagued musical “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark” officially opens on Broadway in NYC

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2002 [11] (Sir) Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones is made a knight by Queen Elizabeth II

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1922 [91] Warren G Harding becomes the 1st US president to be heard on radio

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1997 [16] A 1939 comic book that features the debut of “Batman” is auctioned in NYC for $68,500

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] World Day to Combat Desertification & Drought
[Mon] Ride Your Motorcycle to Work Day
[Tues] “The Voice” season finalé (NBC/CTV)
[Tues] International Sushi Day
[Wed] “O Music Awards” (MTV)
[Wed] World Sauntering Day
This Week Is … Meet a Mate Week
This Month Is … Camping Month

BULL’S BITS


BS THINGS YOU DON’T WANNA HEAR FROM YOUR KID ON FATHERS DAY:
✗ “We know you’re only 39, but we’re putting you in a home.”
✗ “I would have gotten you a card, but it turns out they’re like $4.99!”
✗ “We all chipped in and got you a less humiliating hairpiece.”
✗ “Technically, we should be giving these gifts to the UPS guy.”
✗ “Last year’s ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ mug has been recalled because of the lead paint.”
✗ “Maybe if you hadn’t drunk my tuition I wouldn’t be working at McDonald’s.”
✗ “They were out of ties, so I got you a prairie dog with monkey pox.”

BS WICKED WORD TRIVIA:
• What word is pronounced differently when it is capitalized? [The word ‘polish/Polish’, is one of the few and perhaps the only one in the English language.]
• Which 5-letter word does every Harvard graduate pronounce wrong? [The word ‘wrong’, of course.]

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Which actor is the best all-time ‘Superman’?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If you ask me, too few of the bucks stop here …

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: “Women’s Health” magazine says doing THIS will help you lose weight.
Answer: Eating with your non-dominant hand. (Maybe because you keep missing your mouth.)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
When your work speaks for itself, don`t interrupt.

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